shopping centres - with active 21 mnth old

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I do have a back pack with a lead but haven't used it yet...my mum bought it for me but I have been in two minds about using it.

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For me, DS was a runner so our backpack leash has been wonderful. DS loved it as it was his "monkey" and only used when he was walking so it was a special treat for him. We've had a few comments about keeping kids on leashes but better to keep him leashed than have him run over or abducted or lost. We haven't needed to use it for a long time now as he has learnt to stick close and will hold our hands or the pram/trolley. He gets one chance even now at free walking. If he tries to run off, he must hold our hands. If we are somewhere near cars, he must hold our hands at all times, no free walking. For DD, we haven't needed a leash, yet. She sticks close without it. She is starting to test the boundaries so it may have to make an appearance soon.

Try the backpack you may not need to use for long - think of it this way you restrain in the pram/stroller where he gets no freedom and can't 'practice' walking - the backpack allows plenty of walking practice and some freedom of movement - is step up from being in pram/stroller in my book.

We set clear expectations with the kids before we go to the shops - stay where I can see them or they go in the pram/trolley. One chance then enforce. I'm too worried about them coming to harm, getting lost or causing harm/damage (even accidently) to let it go any further.

We don't often go to the shops just for fun, it's for a purpose, and I need to achieve that purpose so I can't just go home or whatever if it gets hard, so into the pram or trolley.

I found they loved the trolley when they got a bit older!

on the otherside -I have been thanked by an old lady for keeping a child on a leash. old people find kids (little and big) running around scary. its easy for oldies to trip up or be bumped over etc. I know if you bump my mum, her skin is so thin she bleed and bruise badly.

I think we are beginning to get things under control (see my next thread for my next dilemma). One time I took the pram with me and gave him a warning. Of course he couldn't keep his hands to himself so I put him in the pram. There was a lot of crying.

I've just come back from the shops and I didn't use the pram. I reminded him of the rules for free walking (stay close to mummy and to not touch other people). Of course he ran off within 2 minutes. He then held hands with me without too much protest (a relief) and then later we were grocery shopping so he normally is in the trolley then.

I'll see how the rules and hand holding works and then work out if we'll use the backpack

Thanks for all of your suggestions. It's great to hear how other people do things so that I can look at my options and learn from those who have been there.