What would you say?

As the other ladies have said it's personal preference, but one thing I think your mum may need remind of it that she's had her children!!! It's your turn now to do what you feel is right and she has no right to go in and pick up bub without your permission. Mum's can sometimes completely take over and really need to be put back in their place. Generally my mum is really good about what I do with DD (not that we live together or anything, but I do go and stay with her occationally), but sometimes she over steps the boundry and it took a long while and lot of courage, but I told her not to tell me how to parent... If I ask her advise then I'm open to discussion, if not then its my way! She's always the first one to tell me when MIL is being far too bossy and to stand up to her etc, so now I do it to anyone that wants to put their 2 bobs worth in about my parenting. You are obviously doing a great job with your little princess and you should be proud.. Have faith in yourself and the decisions you make reguarding her. She's your daughter, don't let your mum forget that! :D

For questions like this, I think its important to look into your heart and ask youself, what feels better? I have found the more I try and rationalise DD's behaviour or try and use my head and "plan" what she "should" be doing, the more frustrated I feel.

I do a combination of DD in her own room and co-sleeping. She is perfectly able to fall asleep without me, but I often want her in bed, or I feel she needs it.

I also have nights where I am over it and need some space (or some DH time ;)) and so she stays in her room.

A wise mummy said to me - there's no such thing as bad habits (was that you MantaRay?) and I have lived by it ever since.

As long as you're getting enough sleep...does it matter? Go with your heart. If you need space, then put her in her own room. If you feel she can whinge for a bit, do that...if the thought of her being alone sends chills down your spine, then go get her and cuddle her close.

There's a reason why you know best!!! She's YOUR baby!!!!

On top of what everyone else has already said, you can tell her with tongue firmly in cheek that all those Indians, Asians, Inuit, Central Americans are chronic insomniacs as adults and it's the world's best kept secret :p Just to name a few 'small' areas of the world where this terrible practice exists... ;)

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Thanks leash :) im just finding it hard atm i have someone saying i shouldnt do this shouldnt do that and im just at a loss with even knowing if wat im doing is right

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I don't think there is really a wrong or a right in this... just what you feel works best for you and your baby, and you are the person who has the final say in that.

I co-slept with DS last night and the little whatsit kicked me out of my own bed at 4.30am!

I like to be cuddled to sleep so I don't mind cuddling DS to sleep (although refused to tonight so I'm feeling guilty). I wasn't co-slept with at all as a child. I still like my cuddles as an adult... just not with my parents LOL. Actually, DS has put himself to sleep quite a bit on his own, no crying or whinging. Just me telling him to go to sleep so he lay down and slept. I think the holiday disturbed that. But he was doing it. Won't be going on holiday again until he has been doing it more than a month!

DH loves it that DS comes through to us in the morning, jumps into our bed and wants cuddles with up both. I do too, but I like to have a time limit on as DS chatters then the boys play together and I like sleep sometimes!


eta - he just woke up. Had I asked him what's wrong and patted him and let him grab me and get out of bed into my arms, it takes 10 minutes to get him back to sleep and a lot of screaming (and some from him too LOL). After the guilt from thinking about this, I just hopped onto his bed and held him. Straight back to sleep and rolled over so I could move away after 5 minutes. I love cuddles! But my point was going to be this: cuddley sleep is easier sleep; cuddley sleep is more sleep; cuddley sleep is safe sleep... my boy loves his own bed and if I try to get him to go to sleep in my bed (such as when we've just painted his room) he asks for his own bed and to be on his own. So they grow out of lovely cuddley sleep far too quickly!

:grouphug: Thanks so much all you beautiful people 4 reminding me to trust my instinct on wat i feel is right for my bub i so needed that boost you are all truly amazing xx

Anna u def hit nail with the hammer their thx so much hun:)

Lady Zaidie- so true ill definently be enjoy every moment. time just seems to be runs away from me lol thx for that beautiful

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That they don't know what they're talking about. Evidence shows that babies who co-sleep feel more secure, and make the transition to independant sleeping easier.

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I definitely think that there is something to be said for co sleeping and attachment parenting in making the little ones feel that security and therefore independance as they don't feel "alone". Oskar has just almost 2 weeks ago "flown the coup" lol. He moved himself out of his cot which is next to my bed in our room into his own room and a bed all in 48 hours! He will be 2 1/2 tomorrow and from the day he was born had slept either with me or right next to me in his hammock or cot. He seems to be very sure of himself and was adamant he wanted to sleep in the new bed (which had been set up for months) and I think he's probably sleeping better now. Now I have Elijah moved into the cot out of the hammock NEXT to me - could be another 2 years lol.

You do what feels right for you both, that's the best approach in my opinion. I had plenty of comments about Oskar still sleeping in our room when he was 21 and my mother would make raised eyebrow comments but I just smiled and said WE like it how it is thanks.

... i just wanted to add why would any Mother not want their child at 21 to hop into their bed & still have a cuddle ... what an absolutely BEAUTIFUL way of affection & for them to give us as a parent something they ' get it ' that we would miss if we were never ever to have it again.

Hope my DD hops in my bed for a cuddle when she is 21 i couldn't think of any feeling more warm & fuzzy :loveshower: ... and if there is room for her to have a sleep with me WHY NOT on the occasion (just means her Dad will have to go on the couch, no room for ' 3 ' of us by then :cosleep1:, LOL) !!!

21? I'm quite a bit older than that and my mum jumps into my bed for a cuddle some mornings when I'm staying with her! We have DS in there too.

Nowt wrong with three generations all sleeping in the same bed.