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Thread: Homebirth General Discussion #17

  1. #19

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    Congrats to Arimeh! Hope your recovery goes smoothly and you enjoy your newborn snuggles.


    I'm so sorry, Glorious. Go gently.


  2. #20

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    We found out the first two times, and haven't this time. I've loved knowing who they were, and there is still that surprise of what they will look like (which I find most exciting!)
    No regrets for us, and if you think it will help the bonding process then I say go for it

  3. #21

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    We found out the first two times, and haven't this time. I've loved knowing who they were, and there is still that surprise of what they will look like (which I find most exciting!)
    No regrets for us, and if you think it will help the bonding process then I say go for it

  4. #22

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    We haven't found out either time. I am tempted, just because I want to know gender to prepare myself. Maybe so there isn't gender disappointment at the birth? But then I think, well if I just assume it is another little beautiful girl, then I will be happy. And if it is a little boy, then we will be shocked and happy. So yeah I can understand why you might want to do it differently this time. Even if it has nothing to do with gender disappointment or whatever. Each pregnancy is different. Do you think there is a negative? I mean you can wait and choose later to find out, if you think that you will be cross with yourself.

    Oh and maybe if you lay on your tummy, you will feel baby move.... I felt dd at 14 weeks, and dd2 at 10/11 I ish weeks, but only when I laid on my tummy. Dunno if any of that helps, but I reckon you will find the right thing for you. Trust yourself.

  5. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by HotI View Post
    Has anyone done different things for different pregnancies? Did it work for you?
    I found out with my first, there was no question, I just knew I wanted to know. I loved that moment and suddenly felt like he was his own whole little person, not just a part of me.

    Second, (but first with Hubby) he wasn't to keen, but I was. He eventually wanted to as well so we did.

    Third, he really wanted to wait, so I went along with it. I don't feel particularly connected during pregnancy, and noticed it the most this time. I also assumed this one was a girl (after the first 2 boys.) At about 38 weeks my 2 year old told me it was a boy and I suddenly felt a connection.


    This time we found out. (Baby boy number 4)
    The other kids were really wanting a girl and I selfishly wanted time to prepare. I also just prefer knowing.
    We need to buy stuff again since we got rid of a lot after number 3.



    I suppose I am glad I at least tried the wait-and-see approach, but to be honest, I didn't love it. I didn't have some special moment when he was born and discovered he was a boy. (I had a fantastic birth and was so thrilled to have my baby, it was just like "oh, penis." )
    I just feel a tiny bit guilty sometimes like I have gone against nature by finding out, but we all find out eventually so I don't care.

  6. #24

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    Thanks everyone for the Congrats, going to be a long birth story I think! Can't wait to get home though.

  7. #25

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    When are you going home arimeh??

  8. #26

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    Tomorrow I think.

  9. #27

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    Arimeh, hoping you get to go home tomorrow.

  10. #28

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    Picked up a birth pool yesterday, secondhand cost me $50 . Quite pleased indeed! Also went and picked up an Arm's reach mini cosleeper. Expecting fluffy mail tomorrow .

  11. #29

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eenee View Post
    Arimeh, hoping you get to go home tomorrow.
    I'm home now! Discharged myself early. Have dh and my mum here taking care of me and the kids

  12. #30

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    Oh woohoo!!! I d/c early with my c/s. I got way more tender care at home, and quieter without a sobbing teen mum in the next bed, and her visitors and mine. I am glad you did what worked for you. Many many big hugs love.

  13. #31

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    burp excuse me
    Last edited by HotI; September 24th, 2013 at 01:43 AM. Reason: double post

  14. #32

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    Arimeh s birth story is up! you were a wonderwoman at your birth, and one again managing to get the birth story written already! women s intuition is so strong.

    this will be my last ultrasound, so it's kinda now or never to decide if I want to find out about sex. I have considered getting them to write it down, but I think if I had the envelope I would want to read it. I remember the relief last times, walking out knowing that baby still had this one little secret, and hoping I get that feeling again.

    I has many bags of my newbie clothes and blankets etc returned, with extras. I was kinda feeling free not having so much, but I know it will come in handy. I know I can pass them on for the last time when this little one grows out of them. the funniest is that I also got bag of 0000 and 00000 clothes, I doubt that my big babies will get much use out of them. if it is a hot baby like DS, then nappy and singlet will be main attire for the first month or so.

    hope all is well

  15. #33

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    Glad you're home arimeh. Your story was so incredible and intense. You were amazing. I would love to know more about why these things happen. I feel that your one on one care with midwives was the best thing for this birth because you were supported from the beginning. Do you feel it made a difference to your mindset?

    I found out gender at the 20 week unltrasound and got a shock! (HotI sorry to repeat it all here as well as our buddies thread). I wasn't aware how much I was expecting one sex until that moment. I'm glad I know but if there's a next time I would seriously consider leaving it until birth. It's a weird knowledge to have in some ways. It shouldn't change how you feel about bub but it does. Well it does for me. I'm very excited now about our little family and how our new baby will fit in, but those first few moments made me really check myself.

  16. #34

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    Arimeh, huge congratulations! Sounds like you were both very lucky.

    HotI, I didn't find out the gender with my first two and never really bonded during pregnancy and for months after the baby was here, particularly with DD1 who I wanted to be a boy. Last time round I did find out and it really helped to think of her as a her and imagine our family in the future, plan room arrangements etc. I bonded with her much faster.

  17. #35

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    GL with the scan, Hot1. Either way, you'll find out eventually. I've never regretted finding out, if only to help choose names - which I am hopeless at! I am trying to decide between two right now, and I think I'll use the combination of the two as first and middle either way. DP has kinda left it up to me as he doesn't mind either. That's no help!

    Arimeh, hope you're recovering well.

  18. #36

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    Arimeh - so glad you could go with your gut feeling and head to hospital when you knew you needed to! I can't imagine how scary and traumatic things must have felt for a while there. You did an awesome job of bringing that little one into the world, mama - you listened to your body and kept him safe. I hope everything is going smoothly at home. Is your midwife doing your postpartum care too? Is she coming to your house often?

    About finding out the sex of baby - I have always wanted to know, but with three pregnancies they have not been able to tell us because of the way baby was sitting. So we've had it both ways, and I DEFINITELY like knowing better! I feel much more connected with my baby, knowing what they are. They're not an "it" but a "he" or a "she", and we can choose a name, and set out clothes, etc. It hasn't affected my bonding after birth at all, but I also didn't feel any great "SURPRISE" moment at birth for the pregnancies when we didn't know either. Some people say they love that surprise and it gives them something to work for when they are labouring, but I couldn't care less at that point. It doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl so long as it just COMES OUT!

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