Homebirth General Discussion #18

It took me awhile both times to decide on my birth team, even though i chose the same person both times, and knew her from post #1 birth. It is a nice feeling when you decide on your team though. Meow, hope you catch up with some midwives soon.

I can't picture myself having a day labour/birth. Unless dh is home, and dd is at kinder, but still not really. I need to feel ready and secure in order to labour, with my first, i went into labour (on the date i thought i would) and then heard that my best mate had lost her baby and was being induced that day. Labor stopped, and began again the next day. I just think it was too much, and i knew it would be harder if both our babies were born on the same day. Second time, labour began in the evening, but it wasn't until i had got DD to bed that things really kicked off. I needed to know that she was settled first, and could then let go.

My prediction is another night labour, after the kids go to bed (my preference!) or it will be a quick labour when dh is at work, and i am home with the kids. i can see DD being helpful at the time though. I can picture one kid being at the birth and everything going well, but two i struggle with. i have spoken to few of my local back ups if things happen quickly and dh or midwife not here yet, and they have all been really happy to be called if needed.

I love a day labour! DD2s was middle of the day and it was magic! i was hoping (but no luck!) to repeat that again with DD3. i find i am totally shagged after a night birth.

Anybody watch Bones? For a bones dr, not sure why she thought birthing on her back was a good idea! Was impressed that she wanted a homebirth, even though it ended up being a manger birth (its tv!)

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I love a day labour! DD2s was middle of the day and it was magic! i was hoping (but no luck!) to repeat that again with DD3. i find i am totally shagged after a night birth.

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DD1 informed me the other day when she had a baby she wanted it to be just like DD3's birth - middle of the day, quick and not noisy. ;) I told her it might not be that way for her first birth. But I totally love that she sees birth that way. Her iPad screensaver has been a photo of DD3 bfing. This is a very different household to the one I grew up in!

LOVED my DS2s day birth too! Woke up regular time then had a show and early labour started. Progressed to labour by midday and he was born by 4pm. Had dinner and went back to sleep at a regular time. LOVE not losing sleep :lol:

It's weird how TV portrays women birthing on their backs. Like a freebirthing woman in a manger wouldn't be following her body's natural instincts to be more upright/forward facing.

Feeling crampy and uncomfortable today. I had a bad night with reflux which I've never had, alternating with terrible back and pelvic pain. What the hell is my baby doing in there?

I don't know what to make of any of this. It feels like a warm up, but with DS it was a week of warm up and it did my head in. I don't think I could take that again.

I am also feeling unprepared. I haven't even had the birth plan meeting yet.

Urgh. Suddenly I don't want to labour!

I loved having a day birth with dd2. Started at 7am and finished at 7:12pm. I was so exhausted for my first birth, that it was really pleased to not be dealing with fatigue as well.

Re the manger birth - I guess woman birth however they feel comfortable. My first labour was forced bed labour, but the next two I chose to be on my back in the bath/pool. I think I tried hands and knees for about a minute and one point and wondered how anyone could stand being like that.

Whoops double

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Feeling crampy and uncomfortable today. I had a bad night with reflux which I've never had, alternating with terrible back and pelvic pain. What the hell is my baby doing in there?

I don't know what to make of any of this. It feels like a warm up, but with DS it was a week of warm up and it did my head in. I don't think I could take that again.

I am also feeling unprepared. I haven't even had the birth plan meeting yet.

Urgh. Suddenly I don't want to labour!

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:hug: The whole back and forth of "I want to have this baby!" vs. "I don't want to do labour again!" can be kind of miserable at the end. I remember it pretty well. I've experienced it more and more with my later babies, and it stinks. My only advice is to handle it kind of like you handle labour - just take one step at a time. If you're feeling crampy and exhausted and emotional, do your best to find a time to rest, take a bath or shower, a nap, put on a movie for the kids and put your feet up for a bit - whatever it takes. Just deal with today, right now. Don't let your mind wander to how long it might last or how much of it you might have to take. Just like in labour, it will make things worse.
Your body is definitely getting ready to have this baby, and even though it might feel like you'll never be done with this pregnancy, before you know it, you'll be looking at it from the other side, nursing your baby, and thinking "Wow, that actually went really fast, can't believe it's done already!"
For the back/pelvic pain, maybe some pelvic rocking/cat stretches might help? On your hands and knees, take a deep breath and pull your belly and back up, hold, and then slowly release back to a neutral spine. Repeat. You can do 20 repetitions or so at various times throughout the day. It should help stretch the sore muscles and strengthen them, and help get baby in a good position.
All the best in these last few weeks!

About labour positions - I have chosen to be semi-reclining in the bath for all my home births. (For DS1, when I had to move because he was stuck, I ended up delivering on my back in bed with my knees cranked up to my ears.) I've tried the hands and knees thing also and found it impossible for me. Squatting also is not an option for me - I just don't like it at all. But I think the idea is that you should be free to assume the position that works for you, and that usually that's the position that is best for you.

Pretty sure I just met my MW this morning. Super exciting and I really like her. Only thing is she has only been a trained MW for 3 years . She has worked in birth prior to that as a doula and had three HBs of her own so she does have more experience and she also has good training such as breech training and being MW at two breech home births so I feel like her skills are up to scratch. I guess I just had a niggle of doubt over her not being a super experienced MW and I wondered what you all think of experience? How do you feel about using a recently qualified MW?

I would feel the same I imagine. My midwife with DD (who I am using again this time) has something like 30+ years experience - I feel very safe in her hands. She has been training a lot of midwives in the past few years, so there are a lot of less experienced IM available in my area now too.

Could you try and make sure your secondary midwife is more experienced perhaps?

It would depend on what she had done in her 3 years. I chose my student mw due to her research into breastfeeding and having had homebirths. She was absolutely awesome at the birth, and my midwife only arrived just before baby. However, the experience of my midwife was evident when i had some issues post birth. The student was only starting 2nd year at that time, so i am sure she would have learnt much in that time. I know my birth helped expand her knowledge.

If she had been working for 3 years and quite active then i would be more comfortable than if she had been more quiet.

I'm another one who loved my day birth! Woke up in light labour, had DD2 at 3pm. Good amount of time to bond with new bub, clean up etc and then have dinner and bed.

My m/w had only done 30 hbs when I met her (but had a lot more experience in hospitals). But she worked with very experienced m/ws and gelled with us. She's a fantastic m/w and I'm very glad we went with her.

That sounds similar to this MW Jennifer. She has done 47 HBs as primary MW and works in a joint practice with other more experienced MWs and did a lot of student side-by-side training with HB MWs. I really gelled with her and feel like she'll offer just the perspective and care I'm looking for. Chatted to my H last night and he's comfortable too so I guess we'll go for it! :D

Oh Meow that is FABULOUS!!! wahoo! with that number of HBs under belt I would feel comfy enough i reckon. especially if there is good communication and similar values etc. she will be able to read you and you her and that is important too!

Apparently I'm measuring 28 weeks (I'm 31 weeks) but the doctor won't worry about it unless she thinks it's still a bit small at 34 weeks, then she'll recommend ultrasounds. At this stage, feeling anything but cherished at home (certainly nothing like a goddess!!) and worn down by pain, my resistance to U/S is fading and I'm starting to feel my care factor fade. Hopefully the school return will change things around a bit.
DP's boss wasn't telling me anything knew when he commented that DP had been saying I'm a whinger. I'd like to see DP try the feeling of his pelvis splitting with just about every movement he makes, for 29 weeks and every day back to back and NOT make some comment about the pain he's experiencing :rolleyes: Nice to know he's proud of the effort I'm making to get what I get done and what I'm working towards. Not. I could punch him if it wouldn't throw my pelvis off kilter.
Waiting for the IM to reply to my voicemail to make another appointment - I'm sure seeing her about the birth plans again will lift my spirits. For now, though, I'm feeling like driftwood and seriously wondering why the hell I committed to this.