Thats what upsets me the most!:
You are very right, not the right MW for me!
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Thats what upsets me the most!:
You are very right, not the right MW for me!
Tegam, I get what you're saying. I kinda understand the midwife's position, but in saying that I agree that she is definitely not the person you want supporting you anyway.
FWIW (and bearing in mind the fact that I really have no idea what it's like to be in this situation), I would hire a midwife. She's meant to be there as a safety net - only just in case. Even if she makes it to the birth, she probably wouldn't do much anyway, you know? At least if she attempts to get there as quickly as possible (and what you describe from teh last birth doesn't really sound good enough) then she'd be there as your safety net.
But of course you need someone you can trust to really listen to you and give you what you need.
Hi everyone :)
Tegam - I agree with what everyone else has said - everyone just expresses it much better than I ever could.. I hope you come up with a solution that you are comfortable with :hug:
I spoke to my mum today, and told her that I was getting the $hits with not knowing where I was going to birth this baby because I couldn't mentally prepare myself for it, if I couldn't visualise the room or place where I was going to birth. She asked me what I meant, and I said, well it will either be at Selangor or in my loungeroom - and she was like - "WHAT!?! Oh no, I don't like that idea at all Melina... what if something goes wrong... "
And I'm like - its ok mum. And she was like - noo go to the birth centre at least, then you are close to the hospital. And I said "mum, it takes half an hour to get into hospital from here (maximum). It takes the hospital half an hour to prep for a c-section, so even if I was at the hospital OR at the birth centre near the hospital, it would still take half an hour before a c-section could be performed. And that would be the ONLY reason I would be going into the hospital, if an emergency c-section was needed."
I think I got my point across without being too rude yes? LOL She didn't say much about it after that.. I think she knows that I'll just do what I'm going to do anyway.
Bahhh double post!!!
Arimeh: well at least your mum showed her concerns now...my mum waited until the day before Marta was born...and she was my birth support :o!
Meow: are you a FB fan of MN? i just put some pics up on their fan photos!
I agree- best to know your Mum's birth fears now really AE. Possibly changes your perspective on having her as birth support?
I am a fan of MN cassius and your photos just came up in my newsfeed.. they are gorgeous photos! :D
I just had my birth plan meeting with my MWs and H. It went really well. But now I have to write my hospital birth plan JIC. So unmotivated! :lol: I had a great day today... had a second adjustment with the chiro and I'm feeling pretty well. Also had an appointment with a homeopeth and she was fab- loved her! Wetalked for ages about my last birth, postnatal, this pregnancy etc and she gave me something to take now and I'll go back next week to get a birth kit of remedies from her. I've never seen a homeopath before and it was such a lovely, nurturing experience :D
oh meow that all sounds so exciting! i can't believe how close it all is now!!! :dance:
Nah, mum would only be my birth support if I went back to queensland and birthed at Selangor. So she'd be right - I'd be safe cos I'd be in a hospital ;):
So had a MW appointment a week friday ago, my belly only measuring 22weeks. So had to have a scan. Scan showed low fluid. Had Hospital OB appointment today and it went to the **** rather quickly :(
Apparently fluid levels are meant to be from 25-7 i think the 25 starts at 20 weeks and you normally lose numbers as baby gets bigger. So 7 would be the total bottem number for someone say 40-42weeks... Im sitting on 8 :(
So what does this mean. Scan next monday and see how baby is holding up. Worst case Baby born then! Best case fluid stays the same,,,,they might let me go to 34-36weeks. Fluid builds up again (very rare but not out of the question) Induced at 36weeks.
So really in a sad mood. Hoping its all resolved next monday on the next scan. Will go back and see OB in the city after scan and decide what my action plan is.
Feeling rather down and thinking this all means bye bye to homebirthing this one. So unfair when i know what the perfect birth feels like :(
Ahhhh crap Tegam :( I'm so sorry :(
Oh that sucks arse tegam :hug: I'm really sorry to hear it.
I'll be hoping for good news come monday (or the best possible at least). Hope you hold up ok for the next week :hug:
oh tegam i am really sorry to hear this. it must be quite scary for you all ATM big massive hugs :hug:
:pray: like mad that the fluid levels are strong on Monday so you can keep baking that precious baby as long as possible xx
:hug: I'm so sorry Tegam. Hopefully there will be a resolution at your scan, I :pray: that everything is okay and you can go as long as possible.
Quickly catching up - Tegam, I hope it all works out okay and you get as close to the birth you want as you can :heartbeat:
Well, AFM, we finally started calling midwives yesterday (that's what happens when two procrastinators get married :rolleyes:) to feel out some prices/payment plans. So far our best bet is someone who can take payments via credit card, we'll borrow my mum's card and pay her back at our own pace. As much as their websites all say that they can work something out for people on tight budgets, not one of them seemed open to doing just that :(
Oh Tegam, how scary for you! And not just for the health of your baby but also for the birth experience for you both. I agree that it must be hard to broach a medicalised birth when you've experienced truly natural birth, and you're fully educated on unnecesary interventions. Perhaps you can try and prepare for what the hospital would 'routinely' do and what you would like to ask for in a birth and baby care plan. Remember that everything has to happen with your consent. Thinking of you and your baby and wishing you all the best.
So sorry that the finances are proving to be difficult to organise Tenibear :hug: I hope itdoesn't cause you stress, because you don't need it and it's the antithesis of the joy of a HB. Yay for calling the midwives!! Let us know when you're booked and who you've choosen if you don't mind sharing- I like hearing about the Melb IMs :D
Don't worry Teni - I still haven't called my midwife yet.. LOL... we were waiting to see if we were going to go to Qld or not, but it looks more and more like we will be staying down here for another year, so I may as well bite the big one and give her a call!!
Welll... no more home birth for me, so it appears that I'm out of the thread now.. :(
No, no, no! I read your other thread but I don't know what to say... plenty of MWs around the country are practicing without a backup MW. I wonder if yours is being overcautious?? But then, you don't have other choices to turn to. My MW was telling me about a woman she was working with who was having her third VBA2C (or even 3 c/s?) and she said she classed her as low risk given she had birthed vaginally already, but she was prepared to possibly have to fight that position and state her case at a later date.
So does this mean your MW has called you back and said no?
Nah she hasn't called back yet - but I'm not expecting miracles.
I think it just sucks more cos if Jean was still here there wouldn't have been a problem - just a shortage of midwives in tassie. And apparently "they" (whoever they are) are really cracking down and middies down here are getting into trouble for taking high risk patients.
"They" are the AMA in the govts ear, and "they" suck balls :( :hug:
Well lets just hope that my mum can sell her beautiful block of land on the sunny coast hinterland, and then she will buy this place, letting us move to queensland - I won't have a homebirth either up there, but would be birthing at Selangor with a very pro natural birth OB and the beautiful Inanna for birth support.
Looks like I'll have to bow out AGAIN! :wall: There's no way we can afford a HB, even if we cut back heaps of stuff. No time to save it up if we could anyway... Probably have to go back to the Northern for substandard care - it's some sort of care at least :cry:
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I don't like hearing about people leaving us and not having HBs :( Our system frigging sucks. When the maternity services review first started a couple of years ago I put in a submission for publicly funded HBs and I had so much optimism that this birth would be one of those. The whole business has just gone backwards and gives us LESS choice. WTF?!!!
I'm full term today!! :D And my midwife leaves on holiday tomorrow :lol: She'll be back in 9 days so no baby till after then. Gives us two more weekends to clean and prepare. Gosh HBs are much more work! With moving furniture, setting up birth pools, buying tap fittings, buying HB things like gloves and plastic sheets... there has been much more to do. We haven't done a single 'setting up the nursery' type thing this time though so saved our energy there I guess. My H got offered a job in Seattle so we'll be moving there in Feb next year which has killed the desire to even bother buying a cradle. Baby will spend time getting used to the kinderkot for day sleeps now instead ;)
I do not like this, no I do not like it one little bit :(
All the best with your preparations Meow.
Whats happening??:
Meow: Moving to the other side of the world...you sound so calm?
Teni: :( im so so so sorry you arent getting the birth you want or deserve!
heylo ladies,
i am new to posting around here although i have read HEAPPPPPPS of your posts!!!
i have 7 weeks left to go for the birth of my first bubba and i am doing it in the safety and privacy of my own home.
i totally cant wait. i am the type of person who has hang ups about parenting!! i have done my calmbirth class and have learnt so so much, just hope i can utilise it all on the day and it doesnt get too overwhelming for me.
what i wanted to know is, what you packed in your "just in case" transfer hospital bag??
and also did you birth to any music? what music?
:) xx
Effie
Hi and welcome glamachic.
I haven't packed a bag or used music, so can't answer those questions. Hope your final preparations all go smoothly
ETA - oh, and I guess we must be due around the same time
haha! I have to be because I'm trying to keep my mental space on the baby and birth at the moment. We are being flooded with emails from relocation people and I'm trying to respond to it all and get a lot sorted before baby comes, but at the same time not getting too mentally drawn in. It's very exciting though! I'm really happy for my H as he's SO excited about the joband I'm really happy for all of us that we get to have this adventure :D:
How are you? How did your scan go yesterday???
Huge congratulations in planning your upcoming HB effie!!! Very excited for you :D:
I have packed an after birth/transfer bag. So it doesn't feel too 'transfer' focused I just packed what baby and I will want after the birth, which is pretty much whatI would need in case of transferanyway.
For me: an outfit, pair of PJs, warm socks, few pairs of black undies, maternity pads, BFing book, herbal teas/bath soaks (for BFing, healing etc from Blissful Herbs), maternity bras/singlet.
For baby: Hat, a few outfits, nappies.
I think that's about it?
I have a labour bag for home which doesn't need to come to hospital (apart my homeopathic kit, pregnancy notes/transfer birth plan) as it's labour focused and I figure I wont be labouring at hospital. If we're transfering it will be in an emergency.
I generally like quiet and didn't labour with music last time so haven't made plans for that this time either.
Oh yes, Tegam, how goes things?
meow: you are amazing and yes i guess as long as you are together as a family then its just a lovely adventure but boy yes its time to be in pregnancy/birth/baby head space not moving! We moved interstate 6weeks before DS was born and DH was away so i did it on my own with the two girls. Very hard work but TOTALLY worth it for the family IYKWIM
Scan showed baby still doing well but fluid the same... i have two weeks to improve!! Nice supportive OBs!!! NOT. So knowing naughty nurse tegam i made the appointment for 3 weeks which gets me to 34weeks which then id only have to fight for another 2 weeks and id be on the home stretch. DS2 came at 36weeks and the others early so 36weeks doesnt scare me! Just all the take of 30-32 did!!
God knows where or how i will birth but thats not the issue at the moment, one thing at a time :)
Glad to hear your baby is doing well and the fluid levels are no worse :hug:
Hope you make it to 36 weeks
Thank you! baby is also head down which took a lot of wind out of their sails. Babies that are in distress or have to low fluid generally dont/cant turn! So that helped!:
Yay Tegam!!!! I feel really positive for you that this scan is indicative that there is no need for concern :D So long as that continues you can just keep on smiling and saying "no thanks" to their offers of inductions. I hope you make it to 36 weeks- I agree it would be a much easier time for baby to come.
Oh I think moving 6 weeks BEFORE baby and on your own sounds much harder!!! I told my H we weren't moving at all till AT LEAST 8 weeks after baby as I want/need the babymoon time to establish BFing etc. This way I'm hoping baby will be at that "strapped in the sling on mum and all is right with the world" stage. We're also lucky that the company is paying relocation so everything will be packed & shipped for us plus we have people to help us open bank accounts and find a house, sign a lease etc.
Well, hopefully you can waltz in there with a full-term baby and say "I told you so!"
hey there everyone, have been iurking in the background a bit...:) Am meeting withmy hb midwife soon which is exciting! I have a few questions to go through with her...
Meow: Wow how exciting!! Moving to Seattle that sounds awesome. What an adventure!
Glam: I have birthed my 3 sons to music. I really need it to focus on, it helps me HEAPS.
DS1: Jeff Buckley, on repeat constantly, but I couldn't deal with the last track, I had to yell out "SKIP" everytime it came on
DS2: John Butler
DS2: The Waifs, esp "Take it all in", Beautiful Boy, I made a mix of cruisy music as well
Tegam: Good on you for trusting your intuition & sticking to your guns. Yay that bubs turned for you!
oh gotta go child awake!!!
xxx
Sounds like me :redface:!:
Yay Tegam, that's fantastic news! :hooray: Clever bubby, turning like that! I'm another really looking forward to seeing you get to 36 weeks (and beyond perhaps :) )
ohhh tegam i do like your norti nurse antics lol! here's to baking a full-termer!!!
water_lily: hope the meeting goes well! and it is sooo exciting isnt it?! argh i miss it!
oh and i saw a fantastic quote from our dear friend at the AMA today...reading it made me laugh...so i thought to share:
"It's fair to say it is unusual, but at the end of the day I think that we live in a society which values individual choice." bahahahahaha! he was of course NOT talking about HB but rather commenting on the lady that just had twins in Perth at the age of 57...
i guess he means that as long as it aint HB!
Meh. So long as her "individual choices" are profiting the OBs then I guess a woman can do what she likes ;)
I was thinking of you on Friday actually Cassius as I had an appointment with Nicola. I guess your appointments are all finished now? I think I'll be sad when they're all over too :(
I had a teary to her about my son's support people and how I don't really want them in my birth space- particuarly after the baby is born. I think we've resolved how to make it as good as possible but it's a shame I don't have better options. I feel like we're spending a small fortune on this birth and I want it to be the best it can be. Not long now... baby is 4/5 engaged and I'm exhausted.
Oh meow, sorry but there really is no perfect birth (:shhh:) i dont want anyone to stop trying for one. Its just that we all do as well as we can with what we have and whenever there is more that one person involved then you will have to compromise. I promise you you will have a lovely wonderful birth!
Cass: LOL she'd be well supported to have her 'choice' seeing i bet my house she had a nice planned csection on a friday morning, earning the ob huge $$ and not upsetting his weekend!