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If you can, get your hands on My Brother Jimi Jazz - DS loved this in the lead up to our HB, and when he saw the placenta he was prepared for it - they describe it as a tree :)
Can request a copy of my home waterbirth from my friend who has the master, if you like ;)
DS keeps painting pictures at kinder of me with him and his sister in my belly, and me with a new baby in my belly - it's just so normal and lovely to him, and I credit being at the birth with that!
I agree Maya, it makes it all so normal for our kids. No confusion or whispered stories behind the school sheds! I love that DD is experiencing this as a part of life. I will ask my m/w about the books, they do have a library I can access. If not, I'll let you know!
The surprising thing is that she's got no interest in how the baby got into Mummy's tummy. We've mentioned a few things, ie Mummy and Daddy have a special cuddle and Daddy puts a little seed in Mummy's tummy - so a baby is half of both, but no questions at all. That part is currently irrelevant in the great excitement of the actual baby!
DS currently thinks that when he has babies they're going to come out of his 'willy', and he keeps asking me how, and I keep saying that's not how it happens...!
we had "hello baby" as our pre HB reading :) in fact, DD1 wanted to read it again today! and she actually asked about the placenta today (when i had Marta she was too excited about everything else to even notice the placenta...no questions whatsoever at the point...now however lol).
ouchy!:
we also had 'hello baby' beautiful read!
birth and boobs are all very 'normal' around here, even with my miss7 we havent had to go down the old 'mum and dad have special cuddles'. i have just explained eye colour like mumand dad making a cake... all the bits go into a bowl and its just a suprise what comes out LOL!
Hi all!
Sorry I've been MIA. Just trying to get through the tiredness and m/s.
I heard a rumour that my independent midwife (who was at the birth of all my children) had 'retired' from independent midwifery. I phoned her today - and the rumour is true! Damn.
She is doing 3 shifts per week at our local hospital.
She told me that there are a couple of independent midwives doing homebirths, but that one may still be having a break. She said it's pretty dire around these parts. I was afraid of that. It never used to be. Oh well. I have a couple of leads, so I will follow up on those.
She also recommended that I immediately book in to the case load model at the local hospital in case I don't find someone. :(. Unfortunately, she is not one of the caseload midwives :( Im not giving up yet.
I hope you are all well.
Hi Stoked, not long now!
Ash, that is a bummer that your midwife isn't available.
I am constantly amazed at how hard it is to access home birth in Australia!
AFM, I am not sure on the HB thing now. We initially planned it thinking that it would most likely happen at night and the kids would be asleep - but with DS waking 2-4 times and DD screaming inconsolably for an hour or two, I am thinking that there won't be much serenity for birthing at my house. I guess I will still get the birth pool set up and then play it by ear on the day - there is still a month to go and I hear the miracles do happen lol. It will be a shame if DH misses the birth again if I do go down the road to the birth center.
DH have (only half-jokingly) decided that we might have to relocate to NZ if we have another baby :)
arte: you know what though, if you do labour at night and the kids are awake...well, really, no biggie. get them up, let them watch (i am sure W would be totally into the facts and figures lol). i thought that having L there would be offputting or that i would get distracted or cross with her, but the opposite was true...it was a blessing to be able to share that with her (in early labour reading her stories etc) and then during the more intense stuff having her sit there watching or every now and then rubbing my back. she still talks about it with love....just a thought.
Cass, I think W would be alright, but then it is hard to tell because if he gets stressed he will tantrum. A would be a disaster, she would just cry to get in the pool. But then I guess DH only needs to be around for the end which was fast with A, he can always shove them in front of the telly with bribe lollies for the action bit (from The Good Parenting Guide lol).
MadB, we have reciprocal health agreements - I think you would only need to be here around the time of the actual birth for it to be free. But then I guess you would be short a home to home birth in lol.
Hi :) I'm having a HB with #2 in about a month with CMWA. Only just got on the program, a late change of plan. Haven't spoken with my midwife yet, looking forward to it though. Has anyone here birthed with them?
Preparing them for what to expect of you and what is desired from them for the birth will mitigate 'disaster' - whilst DD is little and can't communicate with many words, she can understand a lot more than what she can articulate, so don't be afraid to get a bit 'wordy' with her about the birth. I think that even highly-strung children can adapt very well to a birth situation and realise that something momentous is happening. My DS was awake for DD's birth and lost the plot about half an hour after she was born and had to be put to bed, but that was because he had refused to go to sleep earlier in the night when labour had started ;) He was mesmerised by what was happening to me and how his sister had come out into the world. Sure, he DID want to hop in the birth pool (and we let him), so that kept him happy and involved. He was also feeding me nuts and water while I was breathing her down. He was a bit older, at not quite 3.5yo, but I think the principle holds for younger children. Keeping them involved will work out better, in the long run, for their adjustment, than planning for them not to be there.
Sorry, I've been out of the loop here, but is there someone trusted you can call on to be your support person for the kids? We had my close GF come to film, take photos, support DS and maybe us (if we needed, but we had two midwives, so wasn't really an issue). That worked out so well on so many fronts, and I still can't believe I had that many people there - more than I thought I'd be comfy with, but as it was just how many we needed it seemed to be right.
DS was also at the appointments and heard heartbeats and the midwives involved him in the conversations. I don't think it was his age, I really think it was the preparation and final involvement that saw him transition smoothly to the new dynamic. He knows exactly where she came from and feels part of her existence, and that makes it easy for all of us :)
Sorry to be annoying, I can't help but feel that MORE involvement is your ticket with DS and DD :hug:
I was with them Pip. who's your midwife?
Emma I think. Would have been better to be with them the whole pregnancy but I honestly didn't think id get on it as I only moved back to Perth at 32 weeks. How did you find the care etc?
it was excellent!
Don't know emma. You can find a link to DD's birth story HERE (DD's arrival)
Also, this thread contains a copy of a letter I wrote to our health minister in support of the CMP, if you're interested
Stoked is on her 2nd birth with the CMP too
Thanks MadB I'll have a look :)
Thanks Mayaness. I know I really should prepare DS a bit more. I think he will be alright once he realises what is happening. DD on the other hand is very young for her age iykwim. She just doesn't understand much (at nearly two is just putting together animals with their sounds etc). I really don't think she has the capacity to understand what is happening. We don't have any support people so it will be up to DH to look after the kids.
Why can't things just be easy!
How often did you see your midwife? When was your first appt?
We had a meet-up at our place, and then spoke a couple of days later and confirmed we were going ahead but nothing since then. I know i can ring her, just wanted to find out what other people did.
And i'm still waiting to feel bub too.
Hi sorry to butt in here, howabout a student midwife or student doula at the birth to provide extra support for your kids? Maybe have a little bag of goodies for each of them to distract them, I know at that age they probably won't amuse themselves but anything to keep them feeling good. I'm kind of worried about my 2yo at the birth but will just play it by ear - I want my DH to be there for me! :):
HotI, I saw my midwife monthly from 8 weeks, then fortnightly from 30 weeks and now weekly from 36 weeks.
Pip, thanks but we are rural NZ - I don't even think we have Doulas in NZ and only get the occasional student midwife. The children have never been left with anyone else.
Will have to put my thinking cap on and come up with some way to make it work with the kids here. I feel rather unprepared for the whole birth atm, just haven't had the time to think about it properly. Midwife wants to do a birth plan next visit so perhaps that will give me the kick up the butt I need :)
Artechim your homebirth will be beautiful!
My son was 2 years 9 months when his baby brother was born. He's autistic so we couldn't communicate with him much to prepare for the birth. He's very sensitive to loud noises, very clingy to mummy and would bang his head and get scared when I tried to practice the "noises mummy makes when the baby comes". We don't leave him with other people and debated what to do about support people for him. We ended up choosing my aunt and two pre-teen cousins who live an hour away as he enjoys my cousins company, but they missed the birth anyway.
We tried reading Hello Baby but he was obsessed with a small selection of books and would mostly ignore us reading it. We watched some births on youtube and that seemed pretty good.
On the day he was beautiful with me in early labour, as labour progressed my H was able to be in and out with him watching the TV then he put him down for his sleep. He woke up about 1 hour before baby was born. I was getting loud then and my H was in the pool with me. My MW checked on him and he chose to lie in his room for a while. When he got up he was brought into the room for a bit but he chose to leave and spent the birth playing with playdough in the kitchen. He clearly knew things were not like normal but he coped well and it wasn't till about 2 hours after birth that he started to flip out a bit over all the people and fuss (my aunt and cousins had also arrived by then) so we asked everyone to leave. He was calm then, we had a good cuddle and my H settled him to bed for his evening sleep.
I really just dont think you ever feel as prepared for the births after number 2. Birth one you prepare and often we prepare more for birth two as we try finding out all the 'i wish id known xyz..' With the 3rd or more birth you have two small children and a busy life!:
I have read a million HB stories and i have just NEVER heard of kids flipping out....basically at the end of the day children are more inturned with their inner animal instincs than adulds are and birth is a natural process.... nothing to worry about!
And i promise that lack of preparation with the birth does not equal love for baby! Just wait til that little one is in your arms and the others are their meeting their new baby! Life will feel rather perfect!
STOKED:::: Where are you? Or have i missed something?
Kate I met my midwife at 14 weeks and then around monthly until 30 weeks but we often had to reschedule. After 30 weeks it was fortnightly then weekly from 36 weeks.
It's hard with midwives sometimes because they're often so busy with births, but dont worry you're rising in their priority every week and before you know it they'll be calling you every day to check in! Please please ring if you want to chat to your middie. They like feeling needed and I'm sure would hate to think you're not feeling looked after.
Meow, your home birth sounds great! Must have been a relief when your DS coped so well.
Tegam, thanks. It is hard to prioritize the new baby in the order of things atm when the kids that are here take up so much time. I think it will be easier when but is physically here and we can get on with sorting out some sort of new order.
I had a talk with DH and we think that we will be alright with the kids - if they can't be resettled then DH will just watch telly with them calmly so there won't be any screaming. I just want to be left alone during labour so he only needs to make it in for the last 10 minutes anyway.
Artechim I was worried about dd and my labour, but my midwife said most labors happen at night and the kids meet their new sibling at breakfast...and thats basically what happened. Ds was born just after midnight and dd woke around 3am due to all the people leaving (3 midwives). It was perfect!
Yesterday i had a fall and i have hurt my self. Not sure exactly what i have hurt, it feels like i have maybe stretched something in my pelvis, and also have pain in my lower back and tummy. I think it's something i just have to rest up, but not sure whether i should see someone about it? And if so, who?
HotI, I would give the midwife a call. Probably a pulled muscle or something and bub is fine, but it doesn't hurt to be on the safe side.
Arcadia, that is what we are planning to happen, hopefully it will be done and dusted with the kids none the wiser.
HotI: yeah I'd call your MW. Hope all is ok!
Pip82 I had my last two with CMWA. My midwives were fantastic, I haven't met Emma though I hear she is a lovely and very capable young midwife. I would have to say though that my experience of the actual 'program' was better the first time as they have changed quite a lot in the time between dd2 and ds2 (less than two years!). And I can't honestly say that I would use them again as it has become really quite 'systemized' for want of a better word, and not really how I (or my midwives) feel homebirth should be!
but I really hope that your experience is a happy and enjoyable one and you don't feel too pressured to do anything you don't want.
oh and ARETECHIM.... I was a little concerned about having my other children around when labouring/birthing as they were only 1 1/2 & 2 1/2, then just under 4 1/2, 3 1/2 & 2 this time... but it was FINE!! first time I went into labour about an hr after they were in bed and they slept, DS woke right at the end but that just meant he was able to meet his newest sister quickly before heading back to bed. And I was fortunate enough to be able to have my Mum come keep an eye on the three of them this time as it ended up being late arvo/early evening & I wanted to know they werent going to be worried about what was happening or bother DHs grandfather too much (hes 85 and we were staying at & birthing in his house). But Mum said she wasn't really needed, they just played in the lounge room happily, meantioned me or DH once or twice but didn't even ask where I was or what I was doing! Very unusual I thought as I can't even go to the loo without one or more wondering what's happening normally LOL! So this they were ALL able to meet their little brother when he was brand new before heading to bed this time :)
These things have a way of working out. And if you do find yourself worrying at all just be reminded that it would be much harder if you WEREN'T at home, imagine trying to find someone last minute or worse still take them to the hospital!!! :D
mrsbaj, that's really interesting to hear. From what I understand they certainly have been changing in recent years. It's such a shame - it seems homebirth adn private midwifery are being eaten away from the edges (and from within, thanks ACM for your statement on homebirth. not.)
I know I'm now classed as too high risk for the CMP homebirth program :wall: - thus the consideration about relocating to NZ since IMs are few and far between in this neck of the woods as it is.
Ouch HotI, hope you're ok.
MadB If you would like a few recommendations for good IM in perth area PM me as I do know of a few. It becomes more of a cost issue though as most have upped their prices to $7000!!! And that is between being the start of year when I was searching and 3 weeks ago when I birthed... Just another way that it is getting increasing difficult to HB! There is two that are really good that will be working 'together' so to speak backing each other up that will charge $5000 with the possiblity of negotiations depending on individual circumstances. I know one of these women personally and the other was MW for one of my SIL's.
thanks, i'll keep that in mind. We're not looking to have another (if we do) for at elast a couple of years - so I'm a bit worried that those few middies will be banned outright from practicing by then :wall: just gotta keep working at it, hey?
It's very expensive, I know. But I reckon it's worth it. We have to pay $3000+ just to get pregnant too! :lol:
OMG $7k for a homebirth! That is just crazy! Yet the government will fund for a healthy woman to take up room in a hospital to birth? Surely it would cost them less to promote home birth/ midwife led care as an option for low risk pregnancies?
MadB, do they have free IVF cycles in Aus? Provided you meet a selection criteria, couples are eligible for first cycle of IVF to be govt funded and sometimes a second.
nup. maybe that's another reason to move. :lol: And yes, they'd save a heap of money...
I think there is a kid limit for the free cycles. So to get a home birthed baby in Aus you are looking at 10k? That is rough! We are so fortunate here.
I am in Victoria and paying $4,000 for my homebirth. i have been fortunate to not need ivf.
How are you Hoti? Sorry to hear about your fall. Did you call your midwife?
Artechim, I have many reasons why nz is superior to oz, and am now adding birthing and fertility options to the list!
MadB I hope you're trucking along ok.
Ours was about $5K, for two midwives. Love them - so much experience between the two of them, just loved them!
I have made friends with someone who I know through completely different circles and it turns out she's a midwife. And not just any midwife, she's a serious campaigner for homebirthing and within the Aust College of Midwives. So, if she can't find me a way to birth with midwives at home, no-one can and I'll definitely be going unassisted at home at the farm! Plus, we have our ambulance cover as well as a couple of paddocks a chopper can land in to whisk me away if medically necessary...!
I love NZ a lot (my sister married a kiwi and has jumped the ditch), but I don't love it that much ;) I've got a tenuous claim to my 'country' down here as it is, without disconnecting further by birthing in a land that isn't 'my own', IYKWIM. Sense of place has always been important to me, which is silly because I'm a child of an Irish migrant and Central American migrant born here with no previous connection to Oz, and as rootless as that is supposed to make me, I know this is the place for me.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately, as I read the story of "Yiri's Birth", a lady called Fleur who campaigns for the right to self-determination of Indigenous birthing women, and it's about birthing on country. I've really connected with that story. Us non-Indigenous women think we're hard done by because we have to pay through the nose to homebirth, or that we'll have to contemplate freebirth, and we don't really think about the profound effect on identity that it has to force Indigenous women away from traditional birthing practices. Once we get that right, I believe the rest will follow for us whitefellas. Once we're looking after the most vulnerable birthing women in our country, we can demand respect and our rights and expect them to be upheld. It's a house of cards if we think it's good enough to ensure that we have the right to an IM in our homes and stop the agitation there.
Off my soapbox ;)
I can find the link to the pdf'd article, if anyone's interested in it? PM if interested.
Just proves to me that homebirthing is more than just wanting to birth in your own physical structure. It goes deeper than that by a long shot.
We had our final scan today. We're having a little girl! DD is super excited so any disappointment that our gender swaying efforts did not work out have been overshadowed. She was telling everyone who walked by and grinning from ear to ear.
Everything is looking great, both with baby and me. C/s scar completely healed and barely detectable, placenta already almost 6 cm away from the cervix, all in tip top shape. Baby cooperated beautifully. I think it's all systems go now from my POV for a HB. All baby has to do is get into a good position in about 15-20 weeks time.
Now we have to think of names, I have no clue!
Our HB will cost $5K, I'm paying a little extra to have her come to me for all visits. I think it's normally 4,500. We have two m/ws for that as well.