Homebirth General Discussion #7

Lovely name, Bella!

I'm so glad I had the thank you letter for my m/w today, and I went out and got photos printed (immediately after the birth I could not have looked more overjoyed). She had her first ever c/s from a HB yesterday, so I think a pick me up was well in order. She said she's gone over and over the (very long) labour and tried absolutely everything. She consulted with the other m/ws and she'd tried everything they could suggest too. I really felt for her, so I hope my card at least goes some way to making her feel better.

Hannah was weighed today (8 days old) and came in, with just a nappy, at 3.1 kgs! So even accounting for the nappy she's put on about 250 gms already! I knew she was feeding well and gaining, but even I was surprised. Must be all the fabulous oxytocins around with her amazing birth. And I feel great today, even the residual muscle soreness in my seat is almost gone.

Awesome work on the weight gain Jen! I think this little girl will put on lots soon too. My milk came in last night and I am overflowing!!!

Anyone have any suggestions for thank u gifts for birth support ppl? I want to get some really thoughtful ones for mine. Just a bit stumped.

I have been thinking about gift too. i wondered about a nice clock on a string - but then again, i don't know if it would get used much, cos homebirth is less time conscious than hospital birth. Interested in what other people did.

I have my birth pool now! Car seat is in. Everything needed is packed on the change table, which will be moved in when things start to happen.

DD is very clingy with me last few days, doesn't want much of DH, everything is Mum Mum. Even wants to eat my cereal in the morning, and drink from my drink.


How did/are you spend your babymoon? My midwife recommended spending the first 4 days in bed except for toilet trips. How long did you stay home? Were you ok with visitors, or preferred to just have your little family there?

Yay Hot on the birth pool, etc! Embarrassingly, mine is still waiting to be put away. We've sunned it, but I want to wipe it over and sun it one more time before deflating and sending back to its owner. It had a liner anyway, but still...

As for the babymoon - we had visitors, but generally just one lot per day (ie a friend, or Grandma, or BIL, SIL and niece). People do ask to visit you at home and they generally bring their own refreshments, so it seems less troublesome. They can tend to stay a bit longer, so DP had to shuffle a few out when I gave him the cue.

As for four days in bed - that must be for those with no other children! But I did stay at home and not venture anywhere for seven days. My Mum took care of cleaning and tidying while she was here and DP has been an absolute champ with cooking dinner and washing. So I've gradually picked it up as I've felt like it and since he went back to work. I've also tried to nap in the afternoon. For the first week my poor 'seat' muscles had had enough by the afternoon and I mostly took it easy and rested. Yesterday and today I'm almost back to normal, but still pacing myself.

Bella - I wrote thank you messages, gave my doula a couple of vouchers (one for a massage - after kneeling on the floor beside me, etc, I figured she needed it!), and my m/ws movie vouchers. I figured since I took an evening out of their time, I could give them back the same. I also gave them a few photos that showed just how overjoyed I was after the birth.

Good job on the milk coming in already! Mine came in after two days too. And settled down a lot better than last time. How is Madeleine going with bfing?

Oh those are good ideas Jen. Maddie is feeding ok. She doesn't open her mouth as well as dd, but still is doing well. I have so much milk I am drowning her. Have had to feed her with her 'perched' on my chest. Even then a couple of times I have been covered in milk and she has literally sipped on the milk pouring out my boobs. I have had to express for comfort last night and tonight. Got nearly 100 mL off of both breasts after feeding her. Worried I am gonna either end up with mastitis if I don't or over supply if I do express.

HotI nice to hear about ur pool. I think my dd was more demanding at the end. Not sure if she could sense something.

Dd is totally in love with maddie. She wants to sit and hold her and wants to stroke her. She is surprisingly tender too. Not that I am really surprised. She has always been a sweet heart. She will stroke maddie's cheek with the back of her hand and gets most upset should her sister cry.

I know it is a bit early, but I am gonna get outta the house for an hour tomorrow. Just gonna go with DH to the markets and sit in the shade at a table. Nothing to taxing but I go every week and I am bored staring at all the walls here! My MW will visit tomorrow too so that will be nice:)

Lovely to hear how you are all going :) just so lovely ;)

Hoti. Re baby moon. I striped my own bed after the Hb and put the washing on. I ventured up the road on my own the next day ( no one seemed to understand my urgency to see my ds in blue after two girls lol). Im just not a lie around kid of a girl and my kids just expect me to be mum. We had a nye party at our house (only our closest friends that are now Molly's god parents. But still) and Molly was only 40 hrs old. Lol. I don't recommend it but hey I feel Great after birth cause I'm not pregnant anymore. I really struggle those last weeks and that joy of not being pregnant anymore is just bliss ;)

Oh good tegam :). I am not the only one who wants to get going! I am trying to be restrained cos my peri really does still hurt a fair bit and there was no way I was doing the washing with DH home and willing :). I think I also have hurt the muscles on one side of my tail bone as I am having a little struggle to straighten up. So I just have to go by how my body tells me to go. But I am up today and gonna venture out soon with her in a wrap :). Gonna really enjoy baby wearing again.

getting scared. and over it. and doubtful. not getting much sleep which is not letting mind or body rest.

wish baby was in a good position and stayed there. wish i had my midwife last time.

wonder if having dd so clingy is stopping me getting 'ready'. over-thinking

Hugs HotI. U can do this babe. Ur just going thru the same doubts we all have just before. Don't think that having fears or doubts means u can do it. It just means ur normal and honest.

Ur body knows how to bring this baby earthside. It doesn't need anyone but u to do that. I am sorry u don't have the MW u love with u on this journey. I am starting to understand how that might feel now that I have bonded with and had a great outcome with mine..... I hope that I can feel supported regardless.

Bella I always put my newborns in a wrap when out and my girlfriends say I definitely have a lioness look of do not even ask to hold my baby lol. It must work as I have never had to be rude ;)
Enjoy your morning out.


Ahhh hoti! You could be right. But you could also be over thinking it all. You are tired and emotional and hitting the hardest part of pregnancy. Is there some way you could go and get a massage? You are doing an amazing job!!

Oh HotI, big hugs to you hun.
Is there someone you can talk to, to share your thoughts and fears with? Does writing help to work through your fears? What fears are you experiencing at the moment?

I also agree with Tegam's suggestion to do something relaxing for yourself, like a massage. Or if that isn't possible is there something you enjoy doing that gets you out of your head for a time - ie. bath, walk, swim. Can you spend some quiet time talking to and connecting with your bub? Is DH home to distract and care for DD so that you have the space to think only of yourself and your belly bub for a time?

Do you have a positive affirmation that you can gain strength and inspiration from? Arcadia used one during her birth, and I really like it: 'I choose to say YES to the power of my body and accept myself completely'.

Sending love and strength. We are here listening if you choose to share more of your fears and thoughts with us. :hug:

Ash and tegam have some good suggestions there hotI. And I concur with ash that we are willing to listen of it helps u to write it down. Hugs babe.

How are you going hoti?

How was your trip out bella?

It went well tegam. I went to the markets, parked right on the road next to where they set up. Didn't walk far. Got to show her off to some of the stall holders we see regularly, but didn't walk more than 100 mtrs. She still had dozens of women cooing which was nice. They couldn't believe I was about at 3 day post birth. :).

Feeling better today.

Just to clarify, i have an awesome midwife this time. if i had her by my side last time, my experience would have been so different and i wouldn't have as many isshews to work through.

I have a voucher for a pregnancy massage. might see if i can book in early this week.

thanks

I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better HotI.

The great thing is that this labour and birth will be different because you have the support of a fantastic MW. I wish that you had had her with you last time too. I think it is totally normal that you are feeling a little scared. I acknowledge that I am in a lucky position as I have the experience of 2 previous, wonderful HB's to give me strength this time around. But I have other fears. Maybe it is normal for some women to have fears anyway? I had a severe bout of mastitis when DS2 was a week old. So I have a bit of fear and anxiety around that. I also fear PPH because I heard that you are at greater risk the more births you have. So that negative thought visits me sometimes. Thankfully I can talk to my MW and she always reassures me with evidence based info, which I like.

I hope you can book in for your massage soon. :hug:

Hope the massage is just what you need, Hot1.

Don't know if it's any help, but when I think about my first c/s birth (which I now question), I remind myself that if it wasn't for that birth, I wouldn't have looked into a HB and would likely have missed out on my wonderful m/w, the great pg care and the amazing birth I had. So although I don't like what was the beginning (c/s), it was the first step on what has been the most incredible journey of my life. And no way would I change that!

DTMS?

Oh hotI I am so glad I misunderstood what u said. I was feeling quite sad for u that u didn't have the MW u wanted. Really pleased to hear ur MW is awesome. Hope that massage is just what u need.

Ash I reckon it is completely normal to have fears of some kind. I think it is a rare woman who has none. I don't think that they will impact of your bodies ability to give birth tho. My sister had a small pph at her last home birth. She got good care and was able to stay at home.

Jen I am on my ph and I was gonna respond to u but now can't remember what u said! Sorry love! Hope u are well. oh yeah, that's right! I agree that my c/s has shaped me in many ways. There was a lot of hurt from it for sure. I spent the last post natal period in shock and mourning. But it also fought me to a wonderful place along a road I would never have otherwise travelled. So yeah like u I am grateful in some way

Afm- we are doing well. Loving this little girl! My emotions being so much more positive this time around are making this post natal period so much more focused on just pure joy in my newborn. What a wonderful place to be in! I am so incredibly lucky and happy. The only things that have taken any of the focus away from Maddie are a new fascination with cloth nappies. I haven't properly started using them cos the ones I have that I thought would fit are really bulky and so DH has asked that we wait till my nb lushies and kissaluvs arrive. Other than that I think I may soon find myself posting in the breast feeding support section due to a serious over supply issue. I am rock hard really regularly and am fearful of mastitis if I don't keep expressing. That being said I am scared of setting up a false supply demand that makes it worse.... Anyone had experience of this? Advice appreciated.