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Oh cricket i hope that those good contractions turn into the real deal soon for you!! Many birth blessings for you :hug:
Em: how is the itch going? hope that it is clearing up quickly...not much fun. i remember last pg that they thought i had shingles...but nup, for me it was some weird reaction to non natural fibres in the clothes...soooo annoying! i remember reading up on shingles when they thought i had it, and yep, the itching was teh numero uno symptom :( i can only imagine :hug:
Thanks Cassius!
No news here. Saw the midwife, and all is well - active babe, good heart beat, no more weight being gained, etc. She didn't do a vag exam, so no S+S either. She's off tomorrow, and doesn't want anything happening when she's not there. :) That's fine - I'm hoping for a good night's sleep tonight, and we'll see what tomorrow brings.
Thanks for the article, Hot1. I passed it on to my sister whose ob offered her one at 38 1/2 weeks.
Cricket, I already wonder if my birth was a fluke and I'll probably stress a bit more if there's a next time! This time I lived in a state of faith and blissful ignorance. ;) Just keep reminding yourself not only that you can do it, but you have done it before. And remember that feeling of euphoria when you birth your baby and hold them for the first time. That feeling is worth all the labour! I am always a bit envious of women about to birth, that was the best feeling of my life.
Thinking of you, Em and Cricket. Not long now!
Just popping in to say hi. Things are very quiet here today. Not a whole lot of BH, and baby is quiet too. (Still moving around, don't worry! Just not as much as other days.) Picked up Ina May's book from the midwives office. Getting into a better head space about labour and birth.
On a slightly different note, does anyone else feel like having a homebirth makes nesting worse? I feel like my house must be "company-ready" at all times, just in case. And I know the midwives aren't "company" and won't be there to check if my house is clean, but I can't help it. I've been cleaning and tidying constantly since 36 weeks or so... Some of it is just the normal pre-baby nesting, I'm sure, but I feel like it's worse because I know people will be coming into my house when this baby comes.
Hi everyone.
Still here and no sign of baby yet. Still have shingles but it's not too bad. I went over with DD and would like not to do that this time lol.
Cricket: yes I have to have the house clean at all times too. What's the bet I go into labour when it's messy lol trying to get DH to help me keep it clean is hard because he is so untidy.
Cricket yes I do think it makes it worse. Lol. I guess I'm a little jealous too of the women that stay in a private hospital being waited on hand and foot while their mum cleans their house and looks after their other children. However in reality I was so well/happy/hyper after a birth I change my own bed sheets and put dinner on. We had a new years eve party here two days after dd3 was born. It just seemed normal lol. Happy birthing.
Em! Wish I was closer :) not long now!
CRicket - yep! and i went to 41 weeks so my house got cleaned over and over... AT the start of labour, i was hanging clothes on the line (at 10pm at night) so the midwife didn't see my basket of wet washing!
Dont you love those crazy things we do in labor.. I had a hospy birth with DD1, my waters broke with a gush as i was walking from the en-suite back to the bed... DH went to get the middy and when they came back in to the room i was on my hands and knees mopping up the carpet.. Middy thought it was hilarious!
cricket: oh yes! i was super crazy with the cleaning. i had this thing where everything had to be 'birth ready'. i couldnt stand the idea of birthing somewhere cluttered or dirty: which is hard with a toddler, DH, mother, dog and two cats hahahaha. also i was super crazy about the toilet. had to be sparkling at all times. poor DH really got hounded over that one :rofl:
Ambersky - that is hilarious! You may as well have been at home. ;) DH was on holidays since DD2 was born 4 Jan and my Mum arrived 1 Jan, so I didn't get overly cleaning mad. I still had my cleaner too, in fact, she came the day after DD2 was born while my m/w was there and was shocked that I had given birth the day before right there!
Em, hope shingles are all cleared up soon and then baby arrives.
Nothing new over here, still... :wall: I know, it's early still - not even quite 39 weeks, but my last two babies were born at 38 and 38+2, and I really thought (hoped?) this baby would be here by now too. Thankfully my days are busy enough still that time is not dragging too badly. My primary midwife goes on vacation right after my due date, so I hope I don't go over!
Anyways, just thinking about the whole stretch and sweep thing again, and I came across a little blurb about it in Ina May Gaskin's book, and she counts it as a standard part of the midwifery model of care, as opposed to other methods of induction. She refers to two studies in which labour was successfully started in 50% of the attempts.
Interesting to see the different perspectives on this from two women (Gaskin and LeMay) who are basically in the same "camp". Guess it's one of those things to do your own research on and discuss with your midwife before you decide.
Hope all is well with all the other mums, especially those who are in the final count down with me. :)
I love Ina May but lots of the birth stories in Ina May's books have quite a few VEs too, more than i am comfortable with.
Think that is the key to homebirths, the relationship between woman and midwife:
Guess it's one of those things to do your own research on and discuss with your midwife before you decide.
Yeah, I noticed that too, Hot1. I'm not a fan of VEs and I never had one during labour. I think we could both tell about where I was at anyway, give or take. It all happened so quickly once she got here and I even found the Doppler annoying sometimes!
I am personally of the belief that VEs promote infection, particularly if your waters have broken.
Yep, I think that VE's can definitely be overdone, or "over relied on" if you know what I mean. There is always the risk of infection, along with the possibility of becoming discouraged if the result isn't what you were hoping for, etc. Personally though, I like to have a check once in a while in labour. I've never found them too uncomfortable (maybe I've got especially gentle midwives...?) and I like to have a concrete marker to tell me that I'm really accomplishing something - ie. you were at 4 and now you're at 7, so things are truly happening. My water has generally been broken shortly before pushing, so I wouldn't have too many checks with broken water anyways. And I liked to have the go ahead on pushing too - not that you can do much to stop it. But I've read a number of stories where a woman pushed for an hour, and then they checked and discovered a lip of cervix that had to be moved. I'd rather know beforehand that everything is clear, and I'm all set to push for all I'm worth.
Those are just my personal preferences though - I don't think that VE's should be considered essential for assessing labour. My midwives have done them only at my request, not just for the sake of filling out the paperwork. :)
i had a squillion ve s in my 1st birth, pretty much whenever i questioned anything or refused an intervention suddenly there was a medicalneed . it was just a method of control and letting me know my place.
this time, nada. i could feel baby coming and i didn't have to push anyway, it just happened the way it was meant to.
I've never had a single VE. Good thing no one ever offered one because I would have declined. The birth centre I went to had a policy of first VE 6 hours after arrival. I arrived pretty much pushing and baby was born about 4 hours later.
My homebirth I didn't have any either. Again my body started pushing when it was ready and I felt an uncontrollable urge to go with it so I did.
I never cared to know how dilated I was. When I was pushing and pushing away for eons in my second labour (happened in the first one too) my MW suggested I could check myself to see if I could feel baby's head as I think she was trying to encourage me as I was losing steam and getting frustrated no baby was coming out. But I had no desire to go sticking my fingers inside. My vagina was aching and I didn't want to touch it at all.
And after the VE following birth to check for tearing, if there's ever a next time I'll be discussing options there too! Ouch!! Giving birth was less painful and I only had a small labial tear. I think my vagina is shy and prefers to be left to its own devices.
Please excuse the stalker :). I was a part of the May belly thread so I've been stalking the two May mumma's who are having HB's. Thinking of you Cricket and Em, I hope your bubbas are here soon, and I can't wait to hear about your beautiful HB's.
xoxo
M
Thanks Marushke :)
Still here with baby on the inside lol impatient much! Shingles is all gone but DD has a cold and hoping I don't get it.
On the subject of VE's I never had one either, one of the reasons I'm glad I'm at home cos not pushed into it!
like all good vaginas should be.:
:
Uh oh. ;)
Thanks so much Marushke! :) Not a whole lot happening here right now. Had mild contractions all afternoon/evening yesterday. Poor DH is living on the edge these days. He keeps asking "Are you having contractions? How are you feeling? How's your belly? How's the baby....?" Doing his best to be encouraging and supportive, but I'm starting to feel like a watched pot that won't boil. :) He's also got hassles with work right now, and issues in all three of the committees that he's involved in for church and the kids' school here, as well as being up to his eyeballs in renovations for a rental house that we just purchased. I can tell the stress is wearing him out - his stomach is really unsettled and he's getting a lot of headaches. Poor guy.
We'll see what the midwife says about this baby this morning. When the baby is born, DH will take a week off of work, and I think it will be good for everyone. :)
Yep. I have a lot of trauma still from the stitches I was given after my first birth (2nd degree tear). Intervention free labour so the hospital managed to screw me up AFTER the birth.:
So second time around we discussed trying not to tear obviously but also healing without stitches. When my MW tried to check for tearing it lasted about 2 seconds. I was so sore and jumping away so she didn't want to touch me and bring up my trauma. She could see I had a tear that she guessed was 2nd degree and we left it. The next day my secondary MW who visited had a another look for me as I was less sore and she guided me in which bits to pull open so she could look without touching me herself and that was good because I could go at my own pace and it was only external touching rather than poking around inside. She could give me a clear answer that it was a second degree tear on my perineum then and we just left it alone.
Oh yes, the check for tearing afterwards is a whole other ball game. OUCH! :o If I can avoid that one, I certainly will!
What do you mean by "if"? Really not trying to hassle you, just wondering how you see the decision taken out of your hands.
I think I will asked to be left as well. I had no need for internal checking, so that was all on the outside! I can only imagine how much I'd have complained if there was anything internal or peri tearing involved. Plus, I'll probably have a good idea myself.
For those of you who tore, do you think you can do anything to avoid that next time?
So, how does one go about finding an affordable midwife for a homebirth? I've been googling a bit this morning but everything I'm reading is making my heart sink at the prices :(
And no, this isn't an announcement, I just thought I might as well start looking and saving up just in case I get a BFP soon ;)
i had to go with a great midwife, and then work out the finances later. i am still paying my midwife off (almost done).
I worried too much about being part of the system to go with a medicare funded midwife.
It's hard.
I think you can certainly try, but in my experience I found it was fairly unavoidable.:
Second time around I had a water birth, I was in an upright, natural squat, I had a long, slow pushing stage and relaxed and breathed while my son's head crowned through 3 contractions. All great things to prevent tearing... then his shoulder was stuck and he wasn't budging with my pushes so my MW asked me to push really hard with the next contraction (in her head we were doing fancy moves if that didn't work and I'm glad it didn't come to that) and I tore as his shoulder came out. It could be that I tore due to weakened skin from the previous tear, from being coached to push hard or due to the size/position of my son's shoulder. The hard push is the only thing I could have changed but I feel it had its purpose and I'm glad we avoiding me having to move or get out of the pool. Perhaps tearing was just on the cards for me.
I actually found tearing to be a good thing for me, because allowing my body to heal itself was an emotionally healing experience after the trauma I endured from the doctor stitching me first time around. The knowledge of my MWs, the mandatory rest for 3 weeks and discovering the lost art of my body's inner wisdom was a huge plus to my whole experience. I wish I had known and never, ever had stitches the first time around.
Teni, my health fund paid for a fair chunk of my m/w's fee, but it's not cheap health insurance. Most have payment plans.
Meow - hopefully your next baby will be more cooperative!
I'm like HotI, finding the perfect midwife and ignoring the cost. We'll make it work, and most are open to payment plans. I'm still paying my doula off at almost 11 months later :shhh: She is fine with that, she cost almost as much as an IM anyway, but was so worth it. This time we'll most likely be having her again in top of an IM. Like HotI said, a Medicare funded midwife will have a lot more restrictions than one without it, for me, we went through a hospital (aka Medicare) HB program, which was good, but not something I want to do again. Too many policies that didn't gel with me.
Can't comment on the funding issue - sorry. Totally different system here!
About tearing - there are a lot of theories that people swear by, and you can certainly try them out!
Some say taking vitamin E throughout your pregnancy will improve all skin/tissue elasticity, and reduce tearing.
Some say that using evening primrose oil vaginally in the last few weeks will help. (A friend of mine just delivered her fifth baby, first one without tears, and she credits the EPO.)
Some use olive oil on the perineum during labour and crowning.
Some use warm compresses.
Some ask the mother to support the area with her hands as the baby emerges.
Some ask for all hands off the perineum so that a rough touch won't tear the delicate tissue, and use panting to slow down the baby's descent. (pant until the burning stops, and then you should be OK to push again, gently.)
Water birth has a lower tear rate than "land" births.
Squatting is sometimes shown to have a higher tear rate, compared with semi-reclining, or all-fours.
I'm very thankful to say that I haven't torn with any of my babies. My first doctor used hot compresses, and got me to pant through a couple pushes, and things stretched enough to be fine. The nurse had the episiotomy scissors ready to cut, but the doctor stopped her, thankfully! I've heard from many mothers that there's a big difference in how you feel postpartum with tearing and without. (understandably so!)
i apparently had a minor tear with DD1, so the OB stitched it...i have to say that the painful part was dealing with the swelling due to the stitches. with DD2 i had another minor tear and we opted to leave it alone and i didnt even notice it!
I certainly noticed not being stitched as opposed to being stitched. I was more comfy getting around with stitches. I still would prefer to heal without them though :)
That's an interesting point about squatting cricket. My first birth was on a birth stool, which are shown to have a higher rate of tearing- due to the squat and the pressure build up with the stool pressing back up against you. Second time I was learning forward more like on all fours, but my body naturally pulled a bit more upright at the end.
I think the thing with squatting is that it lets the baby down so quickly that the perineum doesn't always have time to stretch. That's why it's a great position for a large or stuck baby - opens things up nice and wide - but not the best for keeping the perineum intact always.
I naturally did all the things in the pool that prevent tearing. DD2 was kind and her head came out in three pushes, not one. The only burning/stinging sensation I had was at the very front of my labia, because I was leaning forward, almost on all fours, but using the side of the pool. And I panted in between pushes naturally too.
I didn't try any massaging or oils as I thought position, etc, was the most likely to work, but if you've torn before, I can see why you'd try!
Just thought I'd let you know that our baby girl arrived this morning, about 4 1/2 hours ago. :) Anna Joy, 7lb, 12oz, born at home, in the water, after a LOT of prelabour, and about 4 hr active labour. All is well with me and baby. :) Will post a birth story later. After we sleep!
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAY!!!!!
This is super wonderful news cricket!!! Welcome to the world Baby Anna Joy!!
:happyforyou:
Congrats Cricket :) Enjoy your newborn snuggles.
Beautiful name! Congratulations!
Beautiful!!! :loveshower:
Congratulations Cricket :D :D