Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Im Stuck

  1. #1
    Mum2Surayah Guest

    Default Im Stuck

    Hello Everyone, Hope all is well,
    Asalam Wa lakum

    This might be a long post but i just need to vent and get some emotions out. Where do i start? Well i am Australian/Aboriginal woman (21) from Sydney and was born Catholic, I have since married a muslim man and had a Daughter. I have reverted and truly believe in Islam (Alhumdulah). I am just having trouble learning and practicing Islam. My family knows that i follow my Husband beliefs but i dont think they totally understand i am Muslim and have reverted. They are kindof oblivious and dont want to see the truth. I really want to tell them and be up front with them but they seem to believe the news and the stereotypes and i dont want to be rejected by my own family, but i really want to follow my beliefs. So what should i do? Any tips or Advice? Also they enjoy the ocasional beer or wine but dont drink everyday or get drunk, My Husband hates them even having one beer at a bbq if our daughter is there. But i have been around it all my life and its never been a problem or affected me in any way. My family are what you call responsible social drinkers. I asume that cause im not drinking it or being a part of it thats its fine, but husband seems to think differently. And i dont want to tell family that at all family gatherings that they cant do the things they enjoy just cause im there. I dont condone it but i also dont want to stop anyone from doing the stuff they enjoy as long as it doesnt affect me. I feel they can do it but just dont involve me or my Daughter in anyway and respect the bounderies. Or is that wrong of me to think that way? What is a Muslim opinion on this?
    My other problem is that i dont know where to find information to learn, i read books on Islam but i am always asking Why at the end of it, and i dont get the right answers. I have read an English version of the Koran but do not fully understand because i only have a basic knowledge. I have also rang a mosque for courses or seminars/Lectures but i am very shy as to most people attending are of Middle Eastern Backround and i feel like i kinda dont fit in. Im just a bit lost and dont know where to look. Does anyone know of any seminars or lectures for women (Beginers)? Any muslim counsellors or Sheiks that are great to talk to? Any great websites or books anyone can recommend. I just need something to help me with prayers and basic knowledge to start off with and just general questions to help me dealing with whats right and wrong..
    I also have another thing i hope someone can help me with, I am Aboriginal/Australian and my ancestors and culture believe in spirits and dreamtime, Does the Koran acknowledge this and am i still able to practise traditional Aboriginal culture or is there no way the two can be practised equally.

    Im sorry for the long rant is just so hard cause i feel like i am stuck in two worlds and that to each part of my life i am not being true. I dont really have any Muslim women or Muslim friends in my life that understand me, and that i can relate to or share experiences and questions and what im going through. Its so hard talking to my family cause they dont understand me and cannot put themselves in my shoes. On the other hand my husband family are Lebanese Muslim and can help me if i need more information but they kinda think theyre way is the only way and that they are right. I feel hurt because they dont acknowledge my Aboriginal culture and just assume im one of them. They were born into Islam and have only known this there whole lives and they sortof dont see anything on the other side. I respect them and no doubt them being great muslims, i just dont think they see my side of things. I am still learning and im trying to be the best i can be but i just am lost and dont know where to look for help or resourses. I hope someone could help me, give me an outsiders view, some info or just to have a chat.
    Will be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jul 2006


    Assalamualaykom Kayla,

    I am a muslim women from sydney,if you would like to chat on MSN i would be more than happy to answer any of your questions

    my email is [email protected] if you wanna add me just leave a message letting me know who you are


  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Rural NSW


    :hugs: Kayla. I'm sure you will find some support and answers here.... there are some wonderful Muslim women who are so patient with providing basic knowledge about their faith. Even though i am Christian I feel able to ask questions freely in here. You should never feel intimidated to ask a humble question darl. I'm sure if your DH's family were willing to listen they could learn more from you that what they might expect. All the best on your spiritual journey Kayla. I'm sure you should be able to blend your two beliefs/faiths in a way that you feel comfortable with. Just my thoughts

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Off with the fairies


    Just want to send a big hug and wish you well in trying to find some answers. I wouldn't try to change your family they are who they are and they are a important part of you. I would be good to keep open with them so that they will better understand the choices that you make. In my opinion when two cultures join together there has to be give and take.

  5. #5
    Nazela Guest


    Aleykum Selam

    In my own opinion - your family have the right to still enjoy their alcohol - so long as they dont offer you or your bub any (knowing you dont drink). As long as your family know that you are not to have alcohol or bacon/pork/ham in/with any of your meals then they're not cross this boundary.
    Your Daughter is growing up in Australia, with your own family, therefore she will come face to face with Alcohol. Its better that you and your husband tell her slowly as shes growing up that we do not have alcohol, then there isnt anything to worry about.

    Im a Muslim, we socialise with other Muslim families or even my own family - at BBQ's, dinner, outing, Newyears they have their alcohols. THeyve offered us alcohol in the beginning once or twice and we told them no, we dont comsuming it. NOw they are fine with it. THey have their alcohol while we have soft drink or water. We still have the same amount of fun.

    We allowed our daughter to sniff bear and have offered her a sip when she insisted on having what her aunt had - so we filled her aunts colourful bottle with beer and offered that.
    She hated the smell and didnt even try it.
    This way we have satisfied her curiosity that when we say its not nice, she now believes us.

    It will take time for your own family to accept it. I have a friend whos also converted to Islam, her mother stopped talking to for about 6 or 8 months, as she couldnt accept her daughter converting/reverting and wearing the Hijab.

    She has been "educating" her family for the past 5 years, and finally they have accepted the ways, and what she is.
    Dont give up, just be patient, you family will be more supportive with your choice and ways

    Im in Granville, - If you need help with anything or want to find something out - message me.

    I also have a few English websites if your interested that i refer to often.

  6. #6
    Mum2Surayah Guest


    Aww thanks ladies, Its great to know someone out there understands and cares. Thanks for all the Hugs and kind words. Im slowly working up the courage to tell family but want to wait for the right time (dad will except it ok but the rest of the family it might take a little longer). I know my family respect us about the Alcohol and will never force it on us, its just that hubby hates dd being around it and thats affecting our relationship. I dont want family to stop what they do at every family function cause of us or me and my dd not even go if there is alcohol, but then i dont wont to upset my hubby. Im kinda stuck in the middle. LOL
    Im also looking around for info and trying to find classes in my area. So if anyone knows of any please let me know. It would be greatly appreciated. Im In Marrickville Sydney By the way. My local butcher gave me a prayer chart with the pictures showing positions but its hard to try and pray and then keep looking at the chart. Especially when im not really good at Arabic. And its dificult to know what to say. Any tips? Or great resources to help with prayers? Its just so hard being in two different worlds.
    But Inshallah everything works out..
    Thanks again.

  7. #7
    Nazela Guest


    Trying to learn how to pray - is still accepted and approved as knowing100% how to pray.

    Im Turkish - so dont know arabic at all, but what made me feel better in the beginning was knowing that the Koran arabic is a different language to the arabic that is spoken / read by most Middle Eastern countries. So this meant that i had a chance of understanding the Koran as much as anyone else. (Dont know if you know what im trying to get at.)

    Praying - Self taught here - Only learn how to pray the morning pray ( Sabah namaz in Turkish i think its Salat-ul-Fajr - correct me if im wrong) Once you have mastered this - keep this chart handy -

    (i) Fajr prayer: 2 Rakaat Sunnat Muakkadah, 2 Rakaat Fard

    (ii) Dhuhr prayer: 4 Rakaat Sunnat Muakkadah , 4 Rakaat Fard, 2 Rakaat Sunnat Muakkadah

    (iii) Asr Prayer: 4 Rakaat Sunnat Ghair Muakkaadah , 4 Rakaat Fard.

    (iv) Maghrib prayer.: 2 Rakat Nafl, 3 Rakat Fard, 2 Rakat Sunnat Muakadah

    (v) Isha prayer: An unspecified number of Nafl Rakaat according to the time and capacity, 4 Rakaat Fard, 4 Rakaat Sunnat Muakkadah, 2 Rakaat Sunnat Muakkadah and 3 Witr
    Please ladies correct the terminology if im wrong - as im Turkish, i dont know the names of the namaz in arabic.

    I even put this chart on my mobile, so when i was out i didnt have to ask anyone.

    hopefully this is helpful, if not just let me know lol, i know how you feel i also didnt know how to pray - so i know how overwhelming all it is....

    My next step is the Quran - If i can learn to read it...... 2 me

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Jul 2006


    Salams kayla,

    There is plenty of ways to learn how to pray,If you go to a website called 1islam you will find a interactive step by step dvd on how to pray and you can buy it online or you can go to there shop in Beverly Hills.they also sell aother great islamic material.

    In regards to the Alcohol thing, you really cant do anything about it ,you cant stop your family from drinking but maybe you could limit the amount of time you are around it.Have a discussion with your hubby and try to come to an agreement on which family gatherings you attend that will have alchol and which ones you avoid.
    As for telling your family about your islam it will always be hard in the beginning especially if you are gonna wear hijab because then they are reminded that you are a muslim every time they see you ,but just know that if you trust in allah it will get easier and they will learn to accept it.If your dad is gonna be ok with that really good for you to have someone supporting you in the beginning.

    Anyway good luck with it all and know that inshallah it will get easier the more you learn,the key is knowledge so try and get your hands on as much learning material as possible and dont worry about arabic at the moment,inshallah the prayer will be easy to pick up and because you will be praying 5 times a day inshallah it will get easier to say each time.When i was learning how to pray i always had everything written on a paper that i put infront on me on the floor and i would read it while praying until i memorised it.

    Hope thats helps


  9. #9


    Salaam Alaikum,
    I thought you might find this article interesting.
    How are you going? Are things going smoothly with your family and your in-laws.

    A new faith for Kooris

    Finding direction … Anthony Mundine converted to Islam after his manager gave him a book about Malcolm X.
    May 4, 2007

    More Aborigines are finding similarities between their culture and Islamic principles, writes Linda Morris.

    A FLAG is soon to flutter above the troubled suburb of Redfern, proclaiming a new religious face to Aboriginal Australia. At the centre of a backdrop of equal halves of black and red, the colours of the Aboriginal people, is a yellow crescent moon and star. It's to be the symbol of the Koori Muslim Association, which will open the only Aboriginal mushalla in NSW at a shopfront location on busy Regent Street next month.

    Conversion among indigenous Australians is growing, driven by the higher visibility of Islam, a rejection of Christianity as a post-colonial religion, identification with Islamic principles, and conversions in prisons where Aborigines dominate the population.

    While no one knows how many indigenous Muslims there are in Australia, Aboriginal Muslims reject suggestions they are converting to the faith in droves. Some are descendants of Afghan and Baluch cameleers, North Indian traders and Malay pearl divers and have grown up in the faith.

    Many converts are from cities. The boxer Anthony Mundine is the most famous of these and has become a role model. Their first contact with Islam sometimes, but not always, comes in jail, where as many as 22 per cent of inmates are indigenous Australians.

    Rocky Davis, known as Shaheed Malik, converted while serving 14 years for armed robberies and other offences. It was the story of Malcolm X, the gangster and black American nationalist leader who became a convert to Islam, that first inspired Davis.

    "What does Islam stand for? Islam offers a faith untainted by colonialism and racism. It is a liberating religion," says Davis. "Though the Bible said you shalt not kill, they killed, thou shall not rape, they raped our women, thou shalt not steal, they stole our land. Islam at its essence is pure. My forefathers had no army and no guns and lived in Aboriginal townships and camps. That's the difference between the Muslim and Christian faiths: one is for the oppressed and one's for the oppressor, one's for the coloniser and one for the colonised."

    Peta Stephenson, a doctoral fellow at the University of Melbourne's Asia Institute, says Islam doesn't share the baggage of missionary Christianity, and has become one path by which Aborigines can affirm their pre-colonial identity.

    "Muhammad Ali and Malcolm X are role models," she says. "A lot of people see Islam as an answer to the ills of Western society. For communities suffering chronic levels of unemployment or underemployment and substance abuse it might have special appeal for those wanting to break away from the statistics."

    But Eugenia Flynn, an Adelaide IT worker, says it would be a mistake to think that every Aboriginal convert has come to the faith via the narrative of Malcolm X. For many of its adherents, Islam answers a spiritual yearning, and that search is something inherent in all individuals, indigenous or not, she says.

    Brought up a Catholic, Flynn, 24, converted to Islam five years ago after finding in it an intense experience of God. She would be disappointed if Islam was held to appeal solely to indigenous Australians as a marginalised community.

    "My issue is that people like to stereotype black Muslims as angry militants who did jail time and left behind a life of crime and violence. The more typical story is an indigenous person was searching for a spiritual way and found Islam to be incredibly liberating."

    Mundine's walk to Islam came a decade ago at the end of his football playing days. Like Flynn, his motives were spiritual, not political, and his closest friends say his faith is genuinely held.

    Life was good but his soul was empty, he says. He was bought up a Christian but was not overly religious. He rejected Christianity because he could not understand its complex trinitarian theology. His manager, Khoder Nasser, introduced him to Islam by lending him a book about Malcolm X.

    "Islam's given me a new perspective on the hereafter and what life is about. It's black and white and pure. We've got to ask the question, 'Where are we going and why are we here?' If you have a faith and belief in God there'd be less suicide, stress and sickness. You have a feeling and a purpose, and if you will take one step He will take two steps to you. Islam is my life, it's helped every aspect of it. Every time you see my life, my sporting successes, know that Allah is the greatest."

    Flynn sees "lots of similarities" between Aboriginal culture and Islam, including Islam's emphasis on modesty and the segregation of men and women. "I think a lot of people think indigenous spirituality is based around animalism but in Aboriginal culture there is a creator god, and the way I express my spirituality is through Islam. I don't see the two as mutually exclusive. For me I choose Aboriginality as my culture and Islam as my faith."

    Islam has proved a neat fit for Aboriginal Australians, says Stephenson, who is writing a book on the topic.
    "Islam is a very accepting religion, no matter the race, and it's reaffirming for Aboriginal people who might not find that same sense of belonging in Australian culture," she says.

    "Some Aboriginal people appreciate that Islam gives them strict guidelines on how to live their lives, especially for those who have been forced to move off their lands. Traditional indigenous culture also has codes and ethics that members are expected to follow for the betterment of the community. Those identifying with Islam have not only found some direction in their life, they are following a faith that shares many cultural overlaps with their Aboriginal identity."

    Although Mundine is hailed as a role model for other Aboriginal converts, he doesn't see it as his job to bring people to faith. Kinsmen who approach him about Islam are told to educate themselves. "God willing, we do see more Aboriginal Muslims."

    Flynn knows only a handful of converts in her home town. Just as Flynn is strict, Mundine is relaxed about religious practice. He tries to pray five times a day, before a bout and after, doesn't wear a beard because it interferes with his boxing, and long boxing shorts and T-shirt stand for modest dress around the home. He went on his first visit to Mecca last year and hopes to repeat it one day soon, and he tries to avoid training during Ramadan.

    Islam, says Stephenson, has proved a positive experience for males. "I've consistently found men who say they were once angry but having identified with Islam they come away with a sense of peace and a real need to do good in the community. Islam teaches you to be the best person you can."

    Nevertheless, the NSW Commissioner of Corrective Services, Ron Woodham, has expressed fears that inmates are falling prey to Wahabism - a fundamentalist branch of Islam practised by Osama bin Laden, without sampling more progressive traditions.

    Because their first encounter with Islam is not within their community, Aboriginal converts tend to adopt the ideologies of those with whom they first connect. Davis wants it to be with an orthodox interpretation of Islam.

    He does not believe Islam will become a platform for black nationalism in Australia, rather one for demanding human rights. He thinks it is likely to grow in stature within the indigenous community as a cure for economic and social disadvantage. He wants to establish a drug and alcohol rehabilitation centre, a support scheme for released inmates and a program in juvenile detention centres.

  10. #10


    Please note that membership to the yahoogroup is only open to Indigenous Muslims for now.


    Salaam (Peace),

    I hope that this message finds you in good health and
    imaan. I am writing to let you know about a new
    support organization called the Indigenous Muslim
    Support Network. The purpose of this network is to
    provide practical support to Indigenous Muslims (new
    and old) and to provide information to interested
    non-Muslim Indigenous peoples about Islam.

    The network is run by and for Indigenous Muslims and
    Indigenous peoples interested in Islam. The network
    is not exclusively for any school of thought or sect
    of Islam but all information will be sourced from the
    Sunni ‘sect’ and largely from the Hanafi school of

    Support to Indigenous Muslims is offered in a number
    of ways:
    • Free Qur’an and books/information about Islam;
    • Contact point for other support services, masjids
    and Muslim groups; and
    • Online e-group for discussion with Indigenous

    To register to join the Indigenous Muslim Support
    Network please send an email to Eugenia Flynn at
    genie_fly [at] with your name and email
    address for the e-group.
    Please note that any un-Islamic behaviour and
    dissemination of anti-Islamic information or
    misinformation will not be tolerated and will lead to
    your immediate expulsion from the IMSN. The
    ‘management’ of IMSN reserves the right to reprimand
    and expel members as they see fit.

    Please forward this message on to other Indigenous
    Muslim people and/or Indigenous people’s interested in
    Islam that you know of.

    Wasalaam (Peace),

    Eugenia Flynn

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts