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Gothmum, I agree with you. There is more to life than spending up big, sleeping with whoever you can and getting blown off your feet each night!! The heart wants what it wants and when you're ready you're ready! :)
I'm sure the IVF lady experienced pang of jealousy at seeing you pregnant, and probably wasn't directly attacking you - although it may have seemed like it!. When you have been trying so long for a baby or lose one it is very hard to see others in all their glory ^^;
I am returning to work next week...workplace is a catholic school and *some* of the employees there were very rude about my pregnancy. To the point where I was asked if I wanted to have my soul saved from the sin I committed. I must make clear though that out of 100 or so staff, only 4 people were rude.
GothMum...re piercings...I have a number of piercings but no facials (yet). The most visible is the dermal implants near my collarbone. Work doesn't even bat an eyelid at them however when I dyed my hair red (a nice natural looking red mind you...which went in over bleached out pastel pink so it would have been bright to start out) a few people at work went nuts over it.
Needless to say, when they saw pics of my former dreadlocks on facebook, they nearly died.
Okay sorry...I've finished moving off topic now LOL.
Everyone kept on telling me that I would end up being a centrelink bum and living in housing commission when I was pregnant the first time at 17. At the time, even though it was devastating to lose the baby, I was glad that I would have a chance to make something of my life before I did have kids.
And then I got pregnant again at 20, when DF and I had only been together for 3 and a half months lol and I get a lot of 'looks' from older mums... the grannies are the nicest, they sit down with me at the bus stop and ask if he's my first, and how motherhood is treating me and wish me luck for the future. A lot of them also talk about their past pregnancy's and grandkids (existing and to-be). It's interesting and I get to know people who live in my local area that I wouldn't have otherwhise talked to.
The up side of everything now though is that DF and I own our own house already and in the past 5 months we've halved our mortgage, we own a good car, we have family nearby if we need help, and DF works his butt off 6 days a week so that I can be a stay at home mum for our beautiful little boy, and we're planning our wedding for January next year.
The people who give those 'looks' should concentrate on their own problems more instead of taking offense at young mums. Most of their parents were around our age when they had their first babies.
I've been a "breeder". I have walked into a store with my mum and eldest daughter and had the shop keeper look at my mum and say "Both yours?"
But the one that hurts the most, and the one that steams my little sister no end...
"Same father?"
I've had the plasma comment (not eligible)
I've had you're much too young to have 2 under 2 (pushing mid 30's)
I've had my father referred to as my husband (he's mid 60's):rolleyes:
I've had "you shouldn't have called your son that - it's a dog's name"
OK last one was a bit off topic, but I was just remembering all of the stupid comments from stupid people I've had.....
I could write pages and pages.
Can't resist one more OT - "all you have to do now is have the baby" when I was getting a car seat fitted with DS (prem) already 2 weeks old. Way to boost my self esteem...
I would think that the children having a loving environment is the most important, regardless of their parent's age...
Lol at least it was only 2 weeks after bub arrived!! DD was four months old when DH and I went to his work Christmas party... our first night out since getting pregnant, so of course we let our hair down - I was smoking like a chimney, sinking booze like it was going out of fashion, and a couple of the other 'wives' at the party were like, 'Oh, so when are you due?':
Uh.. um. About four months ago. Sorry, I'm not one of these celebrities that gets out of the maternity ward and straight back into their size zero skinny jeans!!
I think the thing that annoyed me more though, was their casual attitude towards thinking I was pregnant and drinking like a fish - like, I'm young so I *must* be one of those people who gets drunks twice a week throughout their pregnancy, why bother commenting on it because I'll probably just break out the tequila slammers to spite them, right?
I got a full LECTURE from some random stranger yesterday about using washing/laundry powder with my AIO cloth nappies.
According to her if I use powder my baby will die from SIDS becuase of the fumes and I MUST use liquid.
I was told by 3 people over the weekend that I looked like my baby would come early and that I had "dropped". Get stuffed, I think i will know when it "drops" and it sure as hell hasn't happened yet!
My own mother is convinced I am so stupid that I don't even know my own body. She is CONVINCED that I am a month more pregnant than I actually am.
Funnily enough I never get comments when my husband is with me. He is 25 years older than I am. I guess people figure I am older becuase he is.
I can't walk through a supermarket without 3 people in one day telling me I am going to have the baby early but when I went to a couple of wineries with hubby on the long weekend, not one person peeped up about me tasting some wine.
The world is a strange place.
^ Lol I had someone tell me recently that using baby powder on DD's backside at nappy changes/after baths would give her ovarian/cervical cancer.
...Yup. Strange place, indeed.
Yeah my Mum reckons that having sex with an uncircumsised man gives cervical cancer too.
That last one is not entirely false, skewed but not false.
Studies have shown (since the big one done in 2002) that there is a HPV infection that can cause a specific type of cercival cancer found to be a higher rate in uncirced men, they now think Circ protects against HPV (that doesn't mean everyone should rush out and get circed though!). But its completely irrelevant because of the new vaccine. Thats probably what she's talking about but is WAAAAAAY exaggerating it.
Yeah I know about the study but wasn't about to let her have allt he credit, was I? LOL.
I had just turned 20 when we found out I was pg. I was going to my 20 or so week scan and hubby wasn't able to come with me. (I said to hubby if it is a girl she will have her legs crossed). Anyway I was having the scan and the DR (male) asked if I wanted to see if we could find out the sex of the baby I said yes. I then told him what I said to my hubby 'if it is a girl she will have her legs crossed? the dr then said to me that I should have kept my legs crossed and I would not be in this situation. I said to him excuse me I have been married for over 2 years, I planned to have this baby and don't forget I am the one paying you.
I had my DD at 1am and I will planning on leaving the same day if we were both okay. Dr on duty came in and said "I heard you want to go home today? I said yes that?s right. He then said ?that?s a stupid idea, your young; this is your first baby and you don't know what you?re doing? I then replied ?well I will never learn anything with you being around and having that attitude?. Paediatrician checked DD and said I was fine to go home.
I remember going shopping with DD and stepson she was out 4 months old (I was 21) and my stepson was nearly 12. I was in a really bad mood. Some woman started talking to me about DD and then she said to me that I must of been a bad girl when I was younger? I said why?, She said ?because you would have been no more than 14 when you had your son, you must of been 12 or 13 when you started having sex? I said ?no actually I was having sex when I was 7 and gave birth at 9, you?re a ****head? I then walked off.
Fast forward a few years on the Easter weekend my hubby and I thought we would take Stepson (who is nearly 19) to the Casino in the Gold Coast. I arranged a baby sitter to come to the hotel to take care of DD 7 and DS 9 mths. We were down playing the roulette tables and a woman was standing near me we started talking (she was at least 50 or over). She asked if that was my hubby there and then asked who was that on the other side of my hubby. I said that was my stepson. She then asked if I had any children, I said yes DD 7 and a DS who is 9 mths, she then replied oh your children have different fathers, I said no they have the same father we have been married for nearly 10 years. We then left the table. I stayed for about 45 more minutes before I decided to call it a night (I think it was around 10pm). Hubby and stepson stayed till about 1 am, not long after I left that woman kept going to the same table as Hubby and stepson. She tried to chat up hubby but hubby said he was not interested. She then sat down next to stepson asked him if he wanted a drink, asked him if he had a girlfriend and then she was telling him how experienced she is at pleasing men. His reply to her was ?listen I am not interested and by the way you are old enough to be my grandmother? Hubby said he has never seen someone get up and leave as quickly as she did.
Just had toput in a little rant even though the thread is a bit old.
Last friday I was down the street with my best friend, and I was writing txt msg on my phone, not looking where I was going and nearly ran into a garbage bin. Some lady walking past had the gall to say to me "Just practising are you?" I gave her a dark look and said "nooo... I was busy sending my fiance a msg asking him when he would be getting home from work and wasn't paying attention to where I was going." She hurried off rather quickly.
Same day, my friend and I went into the local St Vinnies op-shop to have a look. We were looking in the baby socks tray and there were a few women in there. We found a cute pair of Bob the Builder socks that fitted my DS and looked brand new, and were exclaiming about how cute they were and three of those women literally 'Sniffed' and put their noses in the air.
The volunteers thought we were babysitting, but once I told them he was my son they were really nice about it, and gave us the socks for 20 cents.
I get so p'd off at people keep on asking if DS is my first, and the looks I get when I am down the street with my stepmother and little brother and sister. They think that all three of them are mine, or all of us are my step-mum's. My stepmum is only 40, she has a 21yr old and a 15yr old as well as a 3 1/2yr old and a 2 1/2 year old. DS is almost 7 months and I'll be 22 on saturday. It's like I have to explain everything. Yeah, DS wasn't planned, but I love him to bits and I wouldn't change anything, but do people always have to judge me?
I'm wearing an engagement ring for fs. It's very noticeable, especially as I never wear gloves and usually have my sleeves rolled upand my hand on the pram in a way that shows it off.
A couple of people also asked me last week if I was living in housing commission! What could I say other than 'No, do youlive in housing commission? fyi DF and I own our own house and in the last 6 months have gone from having 30yrs left to pay to 13yrs left to pay. Are you doing as good as we are?"
omg, I've hijacked the thread, and my post is so long, but this has been building up for the past week. Sorry all.
My sister had her first son when she was 16. I worked in retail at the time, and my boss used to stand at the counter and tsk tsk all the young women with babies that walked past the shop...until I told her about my sister, but you could see she was being very judgmental, even if she didn't say anything.
And here's a funny one...when my sister was 19 (the same one with the baby at 16), she told me that someone she knew had become pregnant when she was 16. My sister goes "oh her poor family, having to cope with her and her baby." I just looked at her and said (tongue in cheek of course) "wow, what a tart!" We all laughed at her - even the judged can be judgemental!
I was PG at 16, DD was born when I was 17 & I don't recall getting any comments etc, even the teachers at school were pretty cool, congratulated me & gave me stuff... But also, maybe I was just oblivious to it :lol: either that or just lucky.
I look back now at photos of me then & think OMG I looked sooo young....
The flipside is now... I get comments all the time, people asking is this your first?...no, my fourth.... and then it's oh, you look too young for four! and I just smile & say well, I started young.
I took DD to get another piercing in her ear the other day & the guy in there said to her, 'Is that your big sister?" she said "no, it's my mum" then as we were leaving he said something again about "look after it or your sister will kick your butt"...we were both like "what the? just told you she's my mum..." but she & I both loved that ;)
I can't believe some of the rude & ignorant comments some of you get! Don't let it get to you ;) those people just don't know any better...
a lovely mum in my mums group has twins 10 months old, and also a 15 year old daughter. so her dd gets the look as she helps her mum push the twin pram. I hate the way ppl assume. yes i agree. none of their business! you all keep up the good work!
I still get it almost 17 years later!! :)
Im copping it cz Ill have 4 kids and Ill only just have turned 20. Meh
I dont get asked if they are my siblings but i do get looks like OMG she has three kids how old is she!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Makes me feel horrible. I do look younger then i am and i think that is why. I am 27 soon to be 28 but i do look younger then that. It is worse when i go out with daycare kids as well so i could have between 4 and 8 kids with me PMSL you should see the looks i get then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I never judge anyone, and i know there are times where i think oh i wonder if they are there kids or someone else's or if they are the grandparents or parents, i would never say anything i just smile, i would hate to make someone feel uncomfortable.
Everyone has the right to an opinion but nobody has the right to put someone else down!!!
I just realised that I got a bit of this yesterday at the hospital (if anyone wants more, I had a bit of a rant on the April 16th-30th due date thread)...
Just before we left, the midwife looked at me and asked how old I was. I replied "twenty three" and she looked a bit relieved and said "Oh, well, at least you're not really a young mum then, you're a bit more knowledgable"
Hmmm... Okay, a couple thoughts (both good and bad...) that ran through my head:
1. So because I'm 23 I know more than a younger mum would? If I didn't have the internet and my drive to know everything, I'd be stuffed! I look at some of the girls here that are younger than me and have kids and I feel intimidated!
2. Please, oh please say that again so my dad can hear it when I tell him I'm pregnant!
3. I'm half sick of people thinking I'm younger than I am, and half never want it to end...
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