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I'll tell you my story:
I was born on my mum's 16th birthday. She split from my biological dad before I was even born. She got together with "dad" when I was a month old. The decided that since I was so young, that they'd just let me believe that my "dad" was my real dad.
Fast forward 17 years and mum and dad separate for a few months. During that time, my mum tells me that "dad" isn't my real dad.
Hurt, angry, feeling like my life as I knew it had all been a lie. My sister is my half sister, I'm not the daughter I thought I was to dad.
I still have some issues with other family members knowing the truth and I didn't. It's all good now, but now and again things come out about people knowing before I did and that really gets to me.
She DOES need to know, you're right!
Just tell her the way of it. Explain how things were for you guys. She'll understand more than you think she will. And ask her if she has any questions because I'm sure she'll have plenty :hug:
:hug:
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Hey hun, just wanted to share something my brother has just been through.
Brother = S, XSIL = B, her new DP = J, child = H & my niece = A
B had 2 girls when she started dating my brother, H was only 3 i think and had never met her dad.
Up until recently H had basically assumed (and not been corrected) that S was her father, that she and her younger sister A were both his but that her older sister did have and always saw her real father.
S & B split, S still takes A every week for the weekend and has been taking H every couple of w/ends.
B is now with and PG to J so they thought it was about time that they explained to her that S is NOT her real father.
Basically S, B & J all gathered at B's house and explained to her that no S is not her real dad but it does NOT change the way any of them feel about her or the fact that they love her, she basically asked the name of her real dad and then S took her for the w/end to prove that he is still there for her 100%.
Now i know it will be a little different for you but if you do decide to tell her is there any way that you could organise it to happen on a day where your DH can take her out and spoil her and show her that no matter what happens he's still her dad, he's still there for her and in no way will anything change for her?
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Thats a sweet story ZF.
Every single night i say im gonna tell her, im gonna tell her, I even had the perfect oppurtunity when she asked questions about the situation on Neighbours but I thought about it too much and didnt, I hate that shes almost 9 & we are still lying to her.
I just want her to know the truth thats all & I am too scared of hurting DH's feelings
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:hug: hun, can you sit down with him and tell him you REALLY want to tell her now, explain why and that it's not to point out that he's NOT her dad but more the fact that no matter what he's her REAL father (IYKWIM)
