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I think you've crossed a line actually I by asking to see the pics behind your brothers back. That's all kinds of not ok. When you give someone a gift it doesn't give you any rights to that gift. I think you need to take a step back and realise that this isn't about you. And that you may in fact need to apologise if the photographer tells your brother and he is upset.
Are you happy Tofu? As in, in life in general? Do you feel like there's something missing, or lacking? It's just that all of your posts are based around quite trivial gripes to do with family or friends. What makes you tick, what are your hobbies, your goals? What do you want out of life, what do you enjoy? If you start to look on the bright side of life (da dum, da dum da dum da dum lol) you might find that things that used to upset you get progressively less important :)
To answer your original question, yes I probably would show the photo to whoever arranged it for me as I'd be so thrilled to have something so nice and thoughtful. Especially as I'm very close to most of my family.
But as a giver, I wouldn't expect someone to show it to me. To me, giving a gift is about giving pleasure to the recipient, not about me getting something too. If you would like to see the photos, just ask.
I think you've said a few times that your family is not close, and a little part of me wonders if you used this gift to try and please your mum and you are getting frustrated that the outcome you wanted and hoped for hasn't happened. May I suggest that you really clearly communicate your expectations when you arrange something and in this case, don't feel slighted by your family if you haven't got what you want from the photographer.
My experience is that most people don't spend their time trying to work out how to hurt others, and a good counsellor really helped me to work on my expectations and communication so that I didn't spend a lot of time resenting the rest of the world for not meeting my unspoken expectations. It means I'm a lot happier.
I really hope that you do get to see the photos as that is important to you.
If you organise for something to be a gift, I think all you need to know is that it got to the recipient. And you know it got there.
From memory, the photographer was supposed to send you a copy of the photo. He obviously forgot, but was happy to do so once you reminded him. I am sure he didn't not send it on purpose.
As to your brother showing you… it might have been nice, but I don't think expected. We recently got the IL's a trip to a food festival for their anniversary. They went, they enjoyed it and told us it was nice. We don't expect to see photos and a detailed account, it was enough to know they enjoyed it.
As PZ said, I really think you need to refocus your energy to some more positive things in life rather than dwelling on all the negatives. You look after your mother, with little help from your siblings. That sucks. But it is what you have chosen to do. There is always the option for your mother to move to a care facility if it is becoming too much for you. Most places offer some respite care, so she could go there for a little 'holiday' every once in a while so you can recharge. I know it isn't easy to be weighed down with complete responsibility for someone with failing health.
Perhaps some counselling would be an option for you? Some techniques to help you let go of these small slights might help you to feel happier overall.
Something else - have you emailed your brother and SIL and asked if they could pick a couple of nice photos to email to you full size so you can get them enlarged for your mum? They probably don't know you want one, but would if you asked. I don't think it is particularly appropriate to be asking for copies from the photographer.
The issue is with the photographer for not sending your mum a copy, usually with professional photos you don't get them on disc as its very expensive which is why your brother may not have put one up to see. It would be simple enough for you to ask rather than turning it into a big deal, its like when you give someone a gift voucher you don't expect too know what was purchased. TBH I would be horrified at at somone to ask to see my photos even if they were the one who arranged it.