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I think it depends the tone in which its said though (like anything really). My SIL has a habit of saying statements exactly like the above in a dismissive and judgemental tone, so offence is intended. Lucky for her we are very comfortable in using care and our kids are happy, cared for and well adjusted so her opinion is of no worth:
In 2.5 years I've never asked anyone if their child goes to childcare. The only reason I would is if I'm looking for somewhere new and want to know what theirs is like. If your response was simply no, then that's that. I might say I wish I could stay at home and not use childcare. Because I do understand the budgeting pressure a lot of families are under in order for one parent to stay home, whether or not care is used is not usually a flippant choice. I hope you don't come across too many judgmental people.
And if I knew you, and I knew you were in the industry, I would *love* to know your thoughts on local centres. I love where DD goes, she seems to like it and from what I see the carers are great, but she's there for 7 hours that I never see. If there are things going on there that would make someone in the industry not use the centre, I'd want to know.
In your position I'd likely be saying that you work in early childhood because you love children, and now that you have your own, you are devoting all that love to them and will return to nurturing other children when the time is right for your family.
You don't have to go into the specifics about not wanting to use x centre or not enough spots (although I will be honest and admit that when asked for the five hundredth time why we don't put dd in care so dh can have a day "off" I've used examples from working where I do to state people are screaming for places they NEED so their kids can go into care, and I don't want to take a space from them, so yes, I've used it!), you could even say you're enjoying being a sahm for now
I must admit I find it odd that there is an assumption pre schoolers will be in child care at some point. For some family dynamics it's simply not needed or wanted. I don't begrudge anyone using care (hell, I was raised in an FDC house - without people needing care we might have been a family with zero income at all!) I just find it perplexing that there is an assumption that it WILL happen. It's not a necessary step like primary school. It's an option for families that need (or want) to use it
Personally I'd love to hear inside goss on centres before deciding! That's how we decided on the one we use, by talking to someone who'd worked in a few around here and knew others in the industry.
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Couldn't have said it better myself BG. And I'm a Kindergarten teacher with a background in childcare.
It was a very hard thing to have to go back to work and find someone to care and educate my DD when I was off educating other people's children.
FDC was the answer. I couldn't put DD in any local centres after working in the industry for years.
Why?:
I agree that it probably is an offensive statement, but I guess that by personally being comfortable with our decision (and necessity) to use childcare I didn't take it as being offensive as I didn't feel her tone was judging me for using care. I also personally feel that everyone has a right to their own opinions. She might think its best to spend every day with her child whereas I feel that time away from me in a different environment is best.: