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Thread: Banning people from your house

  1. #19

    Default Banning people from your house

    For petty, small things, no I wouldn't. Your house is just as much as your DHs house. If you don't like to be around this person, don't be, but your DH has just as much right to have friends over as you do. How would you feel if he said to you 'I don't like your friend xyz, she isn't allowed here anymore'? It's pretty controlling IMO.

    There are people who have been banned from our house. But both DF and I agree on the reasons, them being the fact that these people are toxic, manipulators, liars, psychopaths, violent and not people that we want our children growing up around, let alone people we want in our lives.

  2. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by BellyBug View Post
    How would you feel if he said to you 'I don't like your friend xyz, she isn't allowed here anymore'? It's pretty controlling IMO.
    i honestly don't think it's controlling at all - it's about respect for each other. if your DH/DP really feels uncomfortable with someone, why can't they state they don't want them in the house anymore?? i think respect for your partner and their comfort in their own house has to trump your desire to have a friend or family member visit. there are so many places you can meet people away from the house if you need to see them - why make the person you want to spend your life with so uncomfortable??

    Westy, I was commenting just to clarify that it wasn't an easy decision for me to ban people from our house either - we have a VERY open house policy - we never turn people away, it's just not who we are - so for us to ban someone entirely, it was for very good reason. It sucked going through it, but it's helped us both to realise how strong our relationship is, to see who our real friends are (the ones that stayed the hell out of family issues instead of getting themselves involved when the other side was rallying people against us), and to dig deep and find our strength as individuals. we survived, and can actually laugh at their pettiness now so meh, all good!

  3. #21

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    No worries BG..... like i said i was referring to my own personal home and meaning someone would have to do something major for them to be banned from our house. You dont need to clarify anything to me hun, you have your reasons and that's totally fine its non of my business it's your home you can ban whoever you like....im glad though you can now sit back and laugh

  4. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by BellyBug View Post
    For petty, small things, no I wouldn't. Your house is just as much as your DHs house. If you don't like to be around this person, don't be, but your DH has just as much right to have friends over as you do. How would you feel if he said to you 'I don't like your friend xyz, she isn't allowed here anymore'? It's pretty controlling IMO.

    There are people who have been banned from our house. But both DF and I agree on the reasons, them being the fact that these people are toxic, manipulators, liars, psychopaths, violent and not people that we want our children growing up around, let alone people we want in our lives.
    I'm sorry but i will NOT have somebody in MY house that tells me, yes TOLD me that he doesn't respect me. That he loves my DP and my children but can't respect me and if DP is happy with me then he will have to SOMEHOW find a way to respect that The same person who has made me cry, offended me and just been down right rude to me no matter how hard i try to be nice, so many times that i have lost count. The same person who gets annoyed at DP if he cannot hang out because he has family priorities, who told him that us having another child was stupid and we aren't taking into account our childrens futures. If DP can look past these comments and want to remain friends he can, but he can do it outside of my house.

  5. #23

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    Default Banning people from your house

    Quote Originally Posted by *LittleMissSummer* View Post
    I'm sorry but i will NOT have somebody in MY house that tells me, yes TOLD me that he doesn't respect me. That he loves my DP and my children but can't respect me and if DP is happy with me then he will have to SOMEHOW find a way to respect that The same person who has made me cry, offended me and just been down right rude to me no matter how hard i try to be nice, so many times that i have lost count. The same person who gets annoyed at DP if he cannot hang out because he has family priorities, who told him that us having another child was stupid and we aren't taking into account our childrens futures. If DP can look past these comments and want to remain friends he can, but he can do it outside of my house.
    I'd be more concerned with why your dp would want someone like that in your house, quite frankly.
    If someone was that rude and disrespectful to me, dp would have them out on their ear without a word from me.

  6. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by littlelara View Post
    I'd be more concerned with why your dp would want someone like that in your house, quite frankly.
    If someone was that rude and disrespectful to me, dp would have them out on their ear without a word from me.
    You would think so wouldn't you? If a friend of mine spoke to him that way we wouldn't be friends! I wouldn't hesitate to tell them to get stuffed and never speak to them. Instead of pretty much saying "I understand his comments upset you but i just don't care" (he hasnt said that but he may as well say it)

  7. #25

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    Have done it, DH's family in the past said weren't welcome and that if he wanted DS to see them he could take him to visit.

  8. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by littlelara View Post
    I'd be more concerned with why your dp would want someone like that in your house, quite frankly.
    If someone was that rude and disrespectful to me, dp would have them out on their ear without a word from me.
    Im glad someone else thought this!

  9. #27

    Default Banning people from your house

    Quote Originally Posted by *LittleMissSummer* View Post
    I'm sorry but i will NOT have somebody in MY house that tells me, yes TOLD me that he doesn't respect me. That he loves my DP and my children but can't respect me and if DP is happy with me then he will have to SOMEHOW find a way to respect that The same person who has made me cry, offended me and just been down right rude to me no matter how hard i try to be nice, so many times that i have lost count. The same person who gets annoyed at DP if he cannot hang out because he has family priorities, who told him that us having another child was stupid and we aren't taking into account our childrens futures. If DP can look past these comments and want to remain friends he can, but he can do it outside of my house.
    Well that's entirely different and quite frankly I'd be p!ssed that your husband doesn't see this for why it is and show respect for you and show this 'friend' the door, you shouldn't have to ban this guy, your husband should be the person that doesn't want anything to do with this guy!

  10. #28

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    All people are welcome to our house but sometimes i want to ban some people because they are visiting us with any notification.


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