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Thread: Banning people from your house

  1. #1

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    Question Banning people from your house

    If you had a problem with a friend/family member of your OH would you ban them from your house? So, tell your OH that a certain person is no longer welcome?



    Has anyone done it? How did it go? Does your OH respect your decision??

  2. #2

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    Guess it depends on the problem really, and what a ban would achieve. I've never banned anyone from our house, and I think it'd take something fairly serious to warrant a ban.

  3. #3

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    Yup. None of his family are welcome in my home (well, one uncle is but he doesn't come here. We go to him). The rest, if they show up, get as far as the door and no further. If he feels the urge to speak to them, which he usy doesn't, thu might be lucky and not get the door closed in teor face. But ten he will go out the front and talk to them there. R doesn't much like his family either so it's not too hard. If I answer the door and its one of them he is happy for me to fob them off

    Most of his friends are ok, but one really rubs me up the wrong way for a multitude of reasons. After one incident I told dh I was happy for him to meet this friend elsewhere but I really didn't want him in our "space". He agreed and the friend has never been invited back to the house (5+years now)

    I think the key for us was me not just saying they are banned but explaining why as well. I didn't go about it in a way that hot his back up, like I was trying to stop him having contact with the person altogether. I explained what it was doing to me to have them here or even to contemplate t. And he respected that.

    On the flip side, I have one friend that dh doesn't want at the house. So if we spend time together it's away from here. If I want him to respect my choices about his smoky/friend I have to respect his...

  4. #4

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    Default Banning people from your house

    My ex's family got banned from my house, they also got banned from seeing the children (it's actually in my court orders just in case he changes his mind)...

    But it took something pretty serious for that to happen - a few years ago - and it's been bliss since!

  5. #5

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    I've said DP's best mate is no longer welcome in my house as we had a falling out recently.

    I thought DP understood and respected my decision as i've always respected his about not allowing certain friends/family members of mine in our house.

    Last night he invited his best mate inside while he got him something. I told him i didn't like it and he brushed me off.

  6. #6

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    Yep. DH brother and his wife. DH agrees

  7. #7

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    Family seem to be a common theme! Lol! My sisters husband is banned from my house also, hes banned from my mothers too! haha

  8. #8

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    No one is banned from our house. I personally think it would have to be something pretty major for someone to be banned....

  9. #9

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    My XSIL was not allowed at our house. She would come in and try to offer XH drugs in front of the kids. Not in my house not in front of my kids!!!

  10. #10

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    DH has said "I dont want to see x anymore, I cant stand her. So give me some warning and I will go out" and that was enough to make me want to end the friendship. DHs concerns were vaild, Im just too forgiving

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by westy View Post
    No one is banned from our house. I personally think it would have to be something pretty major for someone to be banned....
    Theft, trying to sabotage our wedding on the day, abusive phone calls every few days for months, going to my friends and family and telling them I lied about miscarrying to get attention, telling me if DH died before we had a child, no matter how long we were together before that, they would fight for the family home, and make my life hell. Yeah, valid reasons to ban his family. And that's only some of it. A lot more happened direct to dh before we got together...

    The friend is a sleazy freak who hit on me while dh went to the bar, and gropes me while dh was standing there. Told dh it wasn't fair for him to be the only one getting a young bit of ass so he should share. I closed the door to that convo, moved away, told dh we needed to leave and that the man was not someone I'd ever associate with again. Funnily, dh wasn't real impressed and has only spoken to the friend once in the last four years since that happened...

    Most others, even if I'm not keen on them, I can tolerate for short periods. Bit these ones, hell no

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by westy View Post
    No one is banned from our house. I personally think it would have to be something pretty major for someone to be banned....
    Like BG mine is pretty serious as well...

    there is a few other people that I really would like to ban - but I can tolerate them in small doses...

  13. #13

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    My reason for banning his friend aren't THAT serious just more i am very offended by his comments towards me and i don't want to be made to feel uncomfortable in my own home.

  14. #14

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    MIL's partner is banned from our home.

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by *LittleMissSummer* View Post
    My reason for banning his friend aren't THAT serious just more i am very offended by his comments towards me and i don't want to be made to feel uncomfortable in my own home.
    it doesn't matter how "serious" your reasons, it's your "space" - your place to feel safe. irrespective of your reasons for it, if you are made to feel uncomfortable in your own space, your DP should have enough respect for you to adhere to your wishes. he doesn't have to agree, he doesn't have to understand. he just has to accept and respect it. it would be different if you were visiting someone else and this person was there - it's not your space, so you really just have to suck it up - but when it's your home, if you are made to feel uncomfortable by someone, it's time for your other half to man up and show you some respect

  16. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by willow5 View Post
    My XSIL was not allowed at our house. She would come in and try to offer XH drugs in front of the kids. Not in my house not in front of my kids!!!
    I just realised this may have come across badly XH did not do drugs. XSIL had issues. But her behaviour was unacceptable in my house and in front of my children.

  17. #17

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    I agree that banning someone from your house if a serious decision but also completely understable.

    DH & I have both banned his disgusting excuse for a human being sister from our home, life and all contact cut off from every member of our family.

  18. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by briggsy's girl View Post
    Theft, trying to sabotage our wedding on the day, abusive phone calls every few days for months, going to my friends and family and telling them I lied about miscarrying to get attention, telling me if DH died before we had a child, no matter how long we were together before that, they would fight for the family home, and make my life hell. Yeah, valid reasons to ban his family. And that's only some of it. A lot more happened direct to dh before we got together...

    The friend is a sleazy freak who hit on me while dh went to the bar, and gropes me while dh was standing there. Told dh it wasn't fair for him to be the only one getting a young bit of ass so he should share. I closed the door to that convo, moved away, told dh we needed to leave and that the man was not someone I'd ever associate with again. Funnily, dh wasn't real impressed and has only spoken to the friend once in the last four years since that happened...

    Most others, even if I'm not keen on them, I can tolerate for short periods. Bit these ones, hell no

    I'm so sorry you have had to deal with that and totally understand why this person is banned from your house. I just want to clarify when i said it would have to be something major to be banned i actually ment from my own house...sorry i wasn't very clear with that and i am sorry if you thought i otherwise that was not my intention!

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