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Thread: Can you be alone?

  1. #37

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    I love alone time, but it has to be husband and kid free. Nothing better than Andrew taking the kids out somewhere on the weekend and I get a couple of hours to myself at home. Not that it happens alot. I could have alone time all the time when the kids are at school and Andrew is at work, but I find I don't really enjoy that time as much, maybe it is because I always have in the back of my head that I need to leave at 2.30 to get the kids. So on a weekday I go and do volunteering and stuff to keep myself occupied.

    Andrew took the boys away for 3 days at the start of the year and I loved that.

  2. #38

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    Default Can you be alone?

    I absolutely hate it, my DH is a shift worker days and nights and I hate the nights when he is not there. He just spent a week in hospital for surgery and I was upset everyday that he was not at home with me.
    Saying that we have had a very close relationship since we met and love spending all our time together. The day shift weekend can mean that I get the housework done the way I want but I hate night shift weekends.
    We have often talked about him working at the mines for the money but neither of us could handle it...the money wouldn't be worth it for us.

    I give credit to anyone who can do the long stints apart I cope well, I wish I could.

  3. #39

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    I don't mind being alone during the week when DH has odd work trips - there is a routine to keep me busy. On the other hand, I hate it when DH is away over weekends as that is meant to be our family time and also time where he gets to do stuff with DD. luckily for me, it's not an often thing, we cope fine when he's away - but I love it when he's back!

    That being said, I do like 'my' time.

  4. #40

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    I'm quite content to spend time on my own. In fact I do fine on my own and know that if everything went to pot and DH left (noooooooooo) I would be fine again without him.

    Also, when he's gone he has to be gone for a long time not just a few nights here and there otherwise I can't get into the routine of him being gone. When he goes away I mope for the first 3 days then get into the swing of it and have my own routine. When he comes back it takes me at least another 3 days to get into "his" routine. I also stay up later when he's not at home. I love the quiet house. I'll make myself a cuppa and watch a girly (or horror) movie or play a game on the computer.

    His last stint at sea was fairly crappy. I would drop him off to the base on Sunday night or sparrow's fart on Monday morning then I'd pick him up on Friday night. It was crap. You couldn't do anything on the weekends because he wanted to do his things (mowing, house stuff, getting bits for the next week).


    But, besides the fact that I enjoy being on my own and wish I could spend more time alone...

    .....Gawd I miss him when he's gone!

  5. #41

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    I love being by myself whether it be after the kids bed when hubby is out or when the kids are with someone else and I'm literally home alone. I too could live perfectly well with husband living next door.

    Plus the kids are so much easier to handle when husband is away or not home

  6. #42

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    I'm another that enjoys time to myself, I had never done it until I split with exH and then spent 5 years on my own until meeting DH.

    DH is a FIFO worker I miss him like crazy and when he's home we are pretty much joined at the hip but I do love that time when he's away, DD has gone to bed and I can just do whatever I want, eat what I want, leave the dishes if I want and starfish across the whole bed

  7. #43

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    I don't think that saying "I miss DH when he's away" is the answer. You either enjoy alone time or you don't. Missing your OH has nothing to do with it. I know my sister hates alone time - not because she would miss her DH (though she would do), just because she hates being alone.

    I love alone time. Does that mean I don't miss DH? Of course not. But I do know that if something happened to either one of us, we can both cope alone and can both do everything we need to around the house. Not like PiL, who are only alone when the other is in hospital (and that is horrid alone, not nice alone, I don't like that sort of alone) and FiL can't work any of the kitchen appliances - and is proud of that. MiL can't drive and lives too far from the shops to walk. It's not going to be fun if anything happens to one of them.

  8. #44

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    I get what you mean. (If, hopefully it doesn't) but something did ever happen to DH, I know I would be fine by myself. Unless there is a big spider, I would have to get help but that what neighbours are for right.

  9. #45

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Flying Butter View Post
    I don't think that saying "I miss DH when he's away" is the answer. You either enjoy alone time or you don't. Missing your OH has nothing to do with it. I know my sister hates alone time - not because she would miss her DH (though she would do), just because she hates being alone.

    I love alone time. Does that mean I don't miss DH? Of course not. But I do know that if something happened to either one of us, we can both cope alone and can both do everything we need to around the house. Not like PiL, who are only alone when the other is in hospital (and that is horrid alone, not nice alone, I don't like that sort of alone) and FiL can't work any of the kitchen appliances - and is proud of that. MiL can't drive and lives too far from the shops to walk. It's not going to be fun if anything happens to one of them.
    i never thought i could function alone until i lived in the quarters. even then i was dorm like so other peple were around. im really glad i was 'forced' to as such. learning to be alone and not depend on others (emotionally and physically) was a real level up experience for me.

    sad about your il. i remember when my grandfather died how people were saying they were happy he went first. because he wouldnt have survived on his own (without grandma). mum was saying the same about my dad. we wouldnt be able to cope without her around (not talking about just missing either) but in May mum had to go stay with grandma for a few weeks leaving dad alone. we all worried how he would go, i remember going to visit him and the only thing in the fridge was a can of mushrooms. but he came out the otherside. he survived.

  10. #46

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    No, I don't really like being alone. I mean for a couple of hours for some me time then great! But even though I could have the opportunity to do that most weekends if I wanted I am much more likely to choose spending time with DH and the girls over alone time. I get bored and lonely.

  11. #47

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Flying Butter View Post
    I don't think that saying "I miss DH when he's away" is the answer. You either enjoy alone time or you don't. Missing your OH has nothing to do with it. I know my sister hates alone time - not because she would miss her DH (though she would do), just because she hates being alone.

    I love alone time. Does that mean I don't miss DH? Of course not. But I do know that if something happened to either one of us, we can both cope alone and can both do everything we need to around the house. Not like PiL, who are only alone when the other is in hospital (and that is horrid alone, not nice alone, I don't like that sort of alone) and FiL can't work any of the kitchen appliances - and is proud of that. MiL can't drive and lives too far from the shops to walk. It's not going to be fun if anything happens to one of them.
    I used the example because I do love spending time with my husband and I do love alone time I have heaps of friends who can't stand spending lots of time with their partners, however they hate alone time. I think in some circumstances it's mutually exclusive

  12. #48

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    I think I must just be a bit grumpy atm: I was feeling a bit like "if you love being alone and your DH going away for a couple of nights you obviously don't love him enough" from various posts in here.

    I love spending time with my family - but that wasn't the question. And I have taught too many exam classes these last two years clearly!

  13. #49

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    Nahhhh.

    And for the record the friends I was talking about ADORE their partners

  14. #50

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    i dont think it has anything to do with OH anyway. just bevause someone is single doesnt mean they thrive on being alone also doesnt mean they like being alone they may hate it and choose to spend time with friends over being alone. some people just can do it others cant.

  15. #51

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Flying Butter View Post
    I don't think that saying "I miss DH when he's away" is the answer. You either enjoy alone time or you don't. Missing your OH has nothing to do with it. .
    If using this as the 'criteria', then yes, I love alone time. I love it when I finally get some time to myself. But, to be honest, I often struggle to know what to do with myself as I'm not used to it these days, and will become even more 'not used to it' once DD2 arrives I'm sure.


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