Can you be alone?

[willow5]

my dh works a rotating roster so he does day and night shifts. i LOVE the nightshifts. i can get the kids to bed and then my time is my own. if i want to watch crap vtv i can. if i want to be on the net till midnight i can. but i lke being alone and i do a lot of things on my own. i even go away for weekends on my own too. i love my family dearly but i love the alone time too. helps recharge the batteries

My DP has just started the same sort of roster and I too love the night shifts! Watch whatever I want, or turn the TV OFF, DP is one of those people who always has to have it on, even if no one's watching. Everything runs so much smoother when DP's at work and my older boys are out too.

I love it. If DH is home for longer than a week I get antsy about my routines being disturbed.



I read once that Charlie Brown (the designer) bought her partner a house in her street so they could live close to each other but not with each other. Sometimes I wonder if I should aim for a living arrangement like that. As much as I love DH I also love my space.

Unfortunately DH doesn't love it. He craves companionship so he keeps trying to make me move so we will live together full time.

I think that would be perfect for me, I often think I was born to live alone, but I love my family. DP would be the same as Onyx's he absolutely needs companionship, so wouldn't work for him.

[Astrid]

I enjoy alone time as well. In fact I am craving some right now. I much prefer Dh to not physically be here than have him here and in his man cave.

[Sopdet]

I love being on my own, I love my own space. It is going to be hard going back to living with somebody, I think I'm still going to need my own room/space.

[fionas]

I've been known to leave a dinner party table and go and sit on my own in another room for 10 minutes. Just because of people overload

DP went away for a month earlier this year and I really liked it. I think if the kids were in school and not at home, I would have really, REALLY liked it. I loved being able to make all the decisions about what we were going to do that day (DP is often around during the day but not here at night so doing things during the day often revolve around his start time which is incredibly annoying).

I also took the girls away for a couple of weekends on my own. People thought I was nuts, I thought it was an adventure.

I go away on my own some weekends too (to make up for DP's crazy shifts and the fact that he often works on weekends).

I do find that on my weekends away, I miss the girls. Depends on how exhausted I am as to how soon that kicks in. Sometimes the first night, other times not till Day 3.

[FabFiona]

One of the things I've found hardest about having kids is not having alone time. I love it.

When we organize for the kids to have a sleepover it's usually because we are doing something. I think I've had one night when DH was away and the boys at Nanas and I was really alone. I got too excited and ate all the chocolate by 7.30 pm.

[~TT40~]

I never thought i could live on my own until I broke up with my ex and as a result started living in nurses quarters. made me grow and realise I could live on my own.

as for being on my own for my own space, I can do it easily. DH and I use to do the long distance thing alot before Spock arrived and even though I could do it and be ok, I still missed him greatly and am actually in no rush to ever do it again.

[onthefly]

I love alone time. Wouldn't want it for long periods, but a day every now and then, it's lovely.

[lady_neon]

I enjoy being on my own, yet look forward to him coming home. We frequently have weekends apart when he goes fishing and I get to spend time with my girlfriends, watch crappy movies and eat out of the ice cream container I miss him being in bed though. I don't get scared when he's away.

Though, with a baby now I HATE being alone during the day while he's at work.

[Mrs P]

I love some me time. DH is in the reserves so away one weekend a month, though normally only for one night. It is harder with DD and now I'm pregnant but as others have said - picking the food, tv, hogging the bed - awesome! He goes away for a week or two a couple of times a year and I do find it hard by the end with DD and working part time. But I've always been someone who NEEDS me time or I go a bit nutty.

[Miss_Dee]

Ok this is going to sound really weird.

I can't be away from my DH for long periods. However if I wasn't with DH I know I would enjoy being alone. It's not alone that's the problem. Does that make sense?

I have the same thing with my closest friends. I miss them like crazy. But I still enjoy my own company.

This. I am quite happy and content with my own company, but I miss DF like crazy when we're apart. I hate when he works night shifts and as crazy as it sounds, I sleep better with him snoring next to me. When I was working interstate last year I even had a recording of him snoring that I would play every night. Without it I couldn't fall asleep. I regularly have me time, doing things like breakfast or lunch with girlfriends or getting my hair done, but I always look forward to getting back home to DF.

[RainbowRiver]

I hate being alone, so much that sometimes I may feel I smother DF!
I do however enjoy kid free alone time when they go to their dads, miss them like crazy, but that downtime a few days a week is what I need at times

[MLR1901]

My DH is a shift worker, and a couple of years ago he would work a week of late starts do we were like ships in the night. It was hard then as we were planning on buying our house. So I *had* to make a lot of the decisions. But it grew our trust in each other.
I don't like to be apart from him for long periods but I do enjoy my time alone too, and do does he. It makes us enjoy each other better, and we have stuff to talk about.
My grandparents have been married 65 years, my grandma says its only because he was at work that they lasted that long! He would have driven her crazy otherwise. And she raised 8 kids!!
DH and I are both independent people who are dependent on our relationship. ITMS!

[lilima]

I suppose I still get the best of both worlds, as when he is on night shift I still see him during the day.

[Kazzo]

I love these answers. Thanks for sharing ladies. I sat here nodding my head at so many replies.

Onyx. I told DH we should build or by a duplex so he has one side and I can have the other. When can put a gate in the back fence but no inside connecting door

OP, I remember just getting grumpy at DH when been up breastfeeding. He sleeps like a log so he would not even know I was up BF and would be fast asleep snoring and I would get annoyed (in a nice way though).

It is nice to know I am not alone in my feelings, I hear so many people say they can't stand been away from their LO or that they have never had a night apart and I start feeling smoothered for them.

[Mummy&Daddy2Be]

this may sound strange.. myself and DF have been pretty much been attached at the hip since the day we met. we can't sleep a night without each other, there's no way i could get to sleep without feeling DF next to me. if we have a little tiff before bed time... we will toss and turn until we make up . sure he goes out with his mates over the weekend, but he always comes home to me every night it's just who we are. there's no way we could handle travelling for work etc and being alone. whenever i'm not with DF i miss him like crazy. i prefer being with him, than being alone.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

I really LOVE being alone, there are days i know DP is going to be late or is staying somewhere for the night and i enjoy the thought

It sounds horrible as i love him more than anything but there are days i just enjoy dinner, bath & bed for the girls and then i can just do what i want... read a book, have a bath, watch a scary movie

I don't get scared at home alone so that works well for me too.

[lilima]

My Grandparents are 90 and 88. They have spent two nights apart in 70 years of marriage. That was when my grandmother was hospitalised. They say they don’t know how to live apart.

[Mummy&Daddy2Be]

My Grandparents are 90 and 88. They have spent two nights apart in 70 years of marriage. That was when my grandmother was hospitalised. They say they don’t know how to live apart.

that's so sweet. that will be me and DF