Long Term Assisted Conception - September '05

Hi Tam & Humphrey!

Well said Sue - I don't really have much to add, agree with Sue whole heartedly. I think it helped my DH to have a mate who had been through it before. They had a good old chuckle about "knocking the top off" at EPU.. they even compared diagnoses etc (both guys had abnormal morphology). Unfortunately he's not the type to join an internet forum - but I can work on that... (nag nag nag)

Overall, the process has brought us closer together. He has said to me a couple of times that he feels so helpless. As Sue said, he has this "fix it" mind set and I guess he gets a bit frustrated. I'm one of those who has become a little obsessed (and hence am seeing the counsellors this week) and DH often tries to 'ground' me by saying things like how he'd love children but can live without them, that he loves me no matter what etc.

But I agree with Sue about finding time for yourselves.
I hope that helps!
Cheers
H

Righto, just because you guys have your own party going on here doesn't mean you can abandon us in assisted conception [-X . Feel free to be forum ****s - I won't think any less of you.

Waiting, Waiting and you all know how the rest goes, waiting for BT results.

I want to be, but I think I've missed the PG bus.

Ann ](*,)

Ann
Don't give up yet - I can't say I have ever made it to beta - so I really don't know what you going through .

They were always too far away for my liking but it saved the wondering after the bloodtest. Hugs to you for whatever the outcome. A good sign is no AF at the moment.

Melbo get a BFP after a BFN on pee sticks if that is what you are worried about.

Last time I was 5 -6 days late for me & my cycle but then the witch showed - on a very sad day anyway. Like she was rubbing it in. Hateful.

Humphrey :shock: :o I wouldn't do that anyway -

Tam -good Q - it is hard - after 13 -14yrs ttc - we have tried not to let it rule our life - until now IVF is very limiting in away.

Heather & Sue - good advice - sometimes it can be so traumatic to a relationship and we do take out our frustrations on DH/DP or anyone else nearby. WE have to remember our love first for each other and love & desire for our maybe baby second to keep us firmly grounded.


Sushee - I feel I am inbetween the two forums- I went in with my eyes wide open - I know success is not guaranteed but while it is bittersweet knowing some strike it lucky first go it is also rewarding to see those who have been through the hoops finally get a BFP.

I know you know what 'tough nuts' are and they have done it tough -I can't imagine how they can still be ...
that I steer clear of. When you lurk other places you shouldn't go and hear things that are best unheard(read) it can really dampen the spirits and empty the cup of hope if you are new to this IVF babygame. We need a balance here.


Since I joined ltttc there have been 7 out of 15 who were in ltttc thread (a few months ago) who have got BFPs - of course not including the new gals.

Hello Guys,

Ann, logged in hoping to see a result. Must check the other thread in case you posted there.

Humphrey, I don't think you need to worry about any of you being abandoned. Just as I passed through the 'new to IVF' stage, and the 'Long Term IVF' stage, and now I'm going through the PG after LTTTC stage, I still indentify with each stage and will participate in each discussion. I think that while there are more than one 'phase' of IVF in terms of emotions/experiences/knowledge, we all understand that someone new would ultimately benefit from the knowledge of a veteran, and sometimes, watching someone new and hopeful get that BFP can make the veteran feel hope you haven't felt in a long time. Definitely interchangable.

Trish, I do know of the Tough Nuts of course, and I have to admit, I too didn't always feel the fit. I hope this forum will be a positive, happy one in general, but still a forum for questions like the one Tam asked. I'm glad you're here, either way.

Tam, after 4 IUIs, an IVF and an FET, I would have figured you for a vet, but of course it's how you feel it fits you. It took me a good while to identify myself as a Long Termer, but I'd like to think that being a Long Termer isn't the negative thing people make it out to be. I don't care if it happened first cycle or 8th, as long as it happened!

As for relationships, I can't say I have an answer. I don't think DH and I would have ever split over IVF, but the pressure was sometimes immense, and there were some ugly fights. And like all ugly fights, if you come out of it the other end still together, then you're doing okay.

Enough of my sagely advice! :-s I'm bushed (first day back to housewook - Yay for Public Holidays!...not) and a bit morose, I think.

Back to work tomorrow! #-o

Hi Girls

Just thought I would pop my head in and but in if thats Ok :) You have come up with some great points Sue you do need time to yourselves and I for one found it has brought DH and I closer especially after our loss on the first IVF cycle which was a bummer but yes it has definately brought us closer even though Dh doesn't talk about it much. Having friends who have been where we have with IVF but doing IUI is a help but only those that have lost an ~Angel~ really know how we feel.

That's just my opinion hope it's ok to comment in here even though TTC #1 was only 15 mths and #2 has just been 6.

Cheers

Awww, Humphrey. Abandon you? That's not my intention!!! Question - what is a ****sut? Is that a bit like Runaround Sue? If it is, then I'm one. Like the other ladies, I consider myself in 2 forums. I still stick my head in to see how you guys are all going, support you and offer advice where I can. In a lot of ways being in the LT TTC forum is good therapy for me. I can remember all those feelings from years ago when I thought I just would not survive the trip intact. Now I can look back and see that I did and how much my ability to cope with disappointment in general has improved. Oooops, I sound like a maiden aunt. By the way, can anyone tell me - am I the oldest out of all of us? Not that it bothers me - just thought there may be an award or something... 8-)

But, at the same time, I'm feeling pretty cr*ppy about my seemingly hopeless situation now - I don't want to be saying negative things to you guys if I'm feeling like I'm just about at the end of the road IYKWIM. :( I too, am hoping this forum won't become bitter and twisted. We'll make sure it doesn't. Trish had some great words once - let the experience make you better, not bitter. Perfect.

Back to the relationship question. My ex would not even consider IVF until his best mate and wife were told that was their only hope. Then it was an ok thing to do. I'd tried to get him to an appointment for 2 years! Of course, they got their appointment before us, then she fell pg naturally!

Anyway, enough of that. How's everyone else in here today?
Keen - where are you? Is tomorrow the big day? Good luck if it is.
Hey, Sush, no work for you. Any new bribes in mind? Hope nobody else can access your work email!!!

Ciao for now

LOL - ****sut? tehehe

I'm 35 going on 36.. (hmmm no, doesn't really sound as good as 16/17 does it..)

Keen - just wanted to send you my best wishes again!! In case you're lurking and can't sleep before the big day...

Take care
love
H

Great Blue, now I'm gunna go to bed singing that song...

Good to hear your thoughts and experiences, we had a good talk today & ironed out some points to each other. Guys just don't talk but we agreed on some things.

Also I think I was getting the winter blues, it's hard to be excited when there isn't anything to be excited about. But we are going to the local 'royal show' in a couple of weekends & having a weekend away at the end of next month so hoping a couple of things like that boost our spirits again. Give me something else to think about & do!

Take care ladies & I'm soooo happy you are here!

Morning ladies, well it's all systems go for me, AF arrived this morning.

Goodluck Sheree - what is your protocol ?

Tam - it sounds like you & DH are working on boosting those flagging spirits - and your heavy hearts. Having a bit of fun helps.

An unsuccessful cycle is a real disappointment -knowing you had a fertilised little bubba and it didn't make it. Though it isn't a recognised 'loss' it is still right to be grieved.

Trish,

I couldn't agree with you more. After each failed cycle, I kept thinking about how my embryo/s didn't make it, and no one really understands that grief unless they've been through it. It's a small, private grief, but one nonetheless.

Sheree, Yay on AF arriving (and that's the last time we celebrate her arrival for you, you hear?)

Keen, good luck with the transfer! I'm soooooo excited for you!

Ann, hoping that it was good news and you are doing the superstitious thing of not wanting anyone to know just yet...

love
sushee

Tam - I believe that longer you are on the IVF and doing the drugs and dealing with the relationship issues the easier it gets - sorry. It's like a lesson is learnt each time and hopefully you both can move on from it. But in saying that, I also think there is a rollercoaster effect on the relationship (ups and downs etc). In addition, there are the other life issues that impact on the relationship and if by chance there is high stress in other areas of your life then going through IVF also becomes tougher. Ongoing BFN and "maybes" s*ck - in that you can demonstrate focus and committment for little or no reward. I personally have a mantra that says I totally and completely accept myself. Sometimes it works and sometimes a night on the booze works!!!

====> My protocol is a new one for me and is for poor responders:
CD2-6: clomid 100mg
CD2- trigger: gonalf 300IU
Regular scans from CD5 to monitor follie size, when dominant follie reaches 14mm then oragulaton until trigger.

Hopefully.......we get to ET!!!

Sheree - all the best for this cycle. With that positive outlook, you're on your way to that BFP you deserve.

Hi everyone
Sounds like you're on the right track *Tam*. It's practically impossible to forget you're TTC. But, at least if you're finding a few things here and there to distract you both, your focus goes in a different direction for a little while anyway. I know, it's just plain cr*p. I read somewhere that it's a good idea to have something special planned for the week after your Beta is due. Like hosting a dinner party/bbq. The whole bit with invitations, decorations etc. That way, it's all organised before/during your 2ww and you're pretty much locked in to holding it. If you don't get the result you want, you're forced to focus on something else. If you are pg - good excuse to party. I never tried it myself. Never trusted myself not to let my guests down if I didn't handle a bad result very well! Probably shouldn't offer it as advice in that case!! #-o Talking about it with each other is the best thing and you're doing that.
Sheree, congratulations on AF arriving. Rollin' rollin' rollin'... Time to throw those feminine hygiene products away. But, just don't do my tampon camping trick.
Hey Keen, how did you go?
Back at work Sush..... :lol:
Take care girls
Sue

Sheree,

wow! At least you'll be busy and the time will pass quickly. What do they call your protocol?

Sue, yes I'm back at work but finish in half and hour. Yes, I only try to get through to the end of the day. Don't even talk to me about tomorrow! =;

love
sushee

Mine is apparently for poor responders. So we are trying to get more embies to biopsy in the hope of finding at least one normal. I've got to have another BT tomorrow because AF has been very light - so need to prove CD1 is today or not!!!

Ann - how are you possum?

ditto from me Ann...

Sheree - good luck with this cycle! Will be hoping and [-o< for you!
Tam - I think you've hit the nail on the head. So much so that I suggested to DH tonight that we take some time out soon. A mini holiday Think you're right Sue - need something to look forward to and to refocus the mind off all the TTC.
LOL to camping trick too Sue!
Thinking of you Ann :hug:
take care
H

Hey Blue
When are you seeing the counsellor?
Where are you and DH off to? Tarcutta?
Sue

Tarcutta - LOL! We've got a wedding in the grampians in a couple of months - thought we might cut across and do the great ocean road on the way back. Check out the appostles before another one bites the dust.

Seeing the counsellor tomorrow.

How are you doing petal?

Grampians over Tarcutta? Oh. :-s
Good luck tomorrow. Hope you come away with some strategies to help you through all this.
I think I'm on a different rollercoaster ride now. Give up and travel, don't give up and go searching for another donor. :smt102 Trish saw an article in the paper that my clinic have had 40 enquiries since the Sunrise appearance of my dr. Apparently though, they say that they predict only around 6 or so will go ahead/be accepted. Maybe my body just wants a break for 6 - 7 months. I dunno. Have been looking at travel brochures though.
See, it's a different roller-coaster. :-k Maybe I should call it a see-saw so there's no confusion which fairground attraction I'm on...
Love
Sue

Oh, Blue....I forgot.
I can eat chokky bikkies without panicking atm (up-side). Have run out of mint slice (down side). But..... I always have an emergency packet of TimTams in the cupboard. I have a friend who is addicted to them. I just ate half a packet. :badgrin:

mmm tim-tams!! I just love drinking coffee through a tim-tam straw!

Thanks for your thoughts on tomorrow. Should be fun! 8-[

Hmmm yes, see-saw sounds like a good analogy. The Sunrise article sounds like it reached a few people. yay koshi (is that how it's spelt? is that even the right channel? LOL - I'm usually at work by 7, have no idea!)
Cheers
H

Not sure how you spell it but that's how you say it. I have to have my tv programmed to come on at 6am to Sunrise, really loud volume. Then I have to get up to turn it down... Always start the morning off with a laugh. Might ring the clinic tomorrow and get the low-down.

Goodluck Sue - hope you are first on their list

thanks Trish. Will keep you posted.
Just saw your ticker. Wow, only 44 days to go....

week 1 ](*,) happening now
week 2 ](*,)
week 3 ](*,)
week 4 ](*,) :roll:
week 5 ](*,) [-o<
week 6 [-o< :pdust: :bdust:
week 7 (well a bit of it) :sperm: :D :cheer: :bluestick: :pinkstick:
week 8 [-o<
week 9 ???




[-o< 8.5 months later :baby:

Lol Trish,

Your schedule there sounds like a plan! Now stick to it, you hear?

Ann, still looking out for you, hunny.

Sue, I hope somthing good comes out of the Sunrise segment. The guys at work were talking about it last night (I admit, I planted the little seed in their heads) and the recurring issues didn't seem to be that their 'biological matter' would be used to help single people or gay couples, more that retrospective legislation may allow their child to come look for them. I don't think many men in general seem to be too attached to their sperm nor what results from it, they're more that their involvement finishes once they've handed over that cup, IYKWIM. And I think that's the uphill battle. Not one out of the 7 guys here said he'd have a problem donating to a single woman.

Urgh, been asked to start work early as the calls have already started to back up. Be back soon, y'all!

love
sushee

Hi guys! I just got Sushee's message that this thread had started up and decided to come and say "count me in". I'm not as long term as some of you experts but I have well and truly passed the "I'm sick of this, maybe I'll just spend all my money on travel instead of trying to having a baby", and "will it EVER happen to me????" stages. I have every finger and toe crossed for all of us. I'm being generous and giving us until the end of 2005 to be out of here!!

PS - Toffee Pops are better than Tim Tams!!

Bee where are you up too - what are toffee pops btw?

OK so I have a delimma that I need you ladies to assist with: mum and dad have just told me they are visiting from 7-11oct, the month end accounts are due in 12oct and CD14 for me will be around 9oct!!! Can I do it all? Dh suggested that I postpone the cycle - WTF?

Welcome Bee,

Oh hunny, sounds like you fit in here alright! I didn't realise you were up to your third OPU!

Good luck and :crossfingers: for many good qualtiy eggs!

love
sushee

Hey Bee, good to see you! I'm with Trish, what are Toffee Pops? From memory, I think you are cycling in October? I was, but am not now, obviously!! So, hopefully, I'll be the only one of us still here by the end of 2005. I'm ok with that though. Nick of the lot of you, ya hear??? Just make sure you all keep popping in to say hi once you pop over to PG after LT TTC....
Trish, I love your post. I hope you have something to pad that brick wall with. Seems so long when you map it like that but you'll be into week 3 before you know it. I did a spreadsheet (dag) for my last stim cycle. Looked like it would never end.
Hi Sush. Kak - starting early. Hey, any of those guys single?? Who knows, I might be able to do it the old-fashioned way and fluke it!!! :bd: You're right about the possible legislation changes regarding info access. Shame it has to be that way. Was going to ring my clinic but was chasin' my tail all day today at work (work is really getting in the way at work atm). I don't think that's an excuse. :?
Hey Blue, how did you go today with your chat?? Any coping mechanisms that sound helpful? Hope so.
Ann, are you ok? Hope you can stick your head in soon.
Ciao for now, the iron is staring at me...
Sue

Ahhh, tough question Sheree.
Do your parents know about IVF? If they do I wouldn't consider that a problem unless they are DVM & DVD. In which case I'd cancel.
Month end accounts? I suppose if it's something you usually do standing on your head that's ok. But, it sounds like a cr*ppy job. Hmmm :-k
I know the latest research says stress doesn't affect IVF outcomes, but, I'm not convinced.
I just know that when I cycle, I try to make everything in other areas of my life nice and smooth running if I can. But, hey, if you're so full of other things going on - it may just work!!!
I don't think I really gave you any advice then.
Sorry
Sue

Sheree,

the question really is do you really to wait? I know that waiting can be just as hard as actually doing a cycle.

Then again, putting yourself under undue pressure will not help your cycle either.

So basically I'm being no help.

But if it were me, you know I'd not put off the cycle. I hate waiting.

Quattros rule over Tim Tams anyday!

love
sushee

Thanks Sue, yep mum and dad know about IVF. In fact last time they visited I did an EPU. Anyway the b*ggers only told me today about the visit so they can just be accomodating. !!! I'm a financial controller, so the accounts team do the work and I review, but I've got to keep abreast of the status of the projects - but I might scrap in!!!hehehee