Long Term TTC, Infertility & IVF - August 2005 #3

Hi, here are my details...

Name - sue42 - Sue
State - NSW
My Previous Cycle Length - 26 - 28
Cycle Type - ICSI#1
FF Link -
Months of TTC - 15 years!! GIFT x 2 and FET x 2 - all BFN
Medications - too many
Important Dates - ET 13/8 B/T 29/8

I AM GOING FREAKING INSANE!!!!!!!!! :smt016 :smt016 :smt016
I have been through the 2WW before how come this one is making more batty than I have ever been??

argh how are you all handling it???

Cazz

Cazz, hang in there!!! Where are you at in your cycle?
I can't even begin to imagine how you have coped with 5 losses of the worst kind. Unfortunately, previous 2WW experience doesn't make it any easier. Your craziness is definitely understandable.
2 things are helping me stay sane:
My garden, seeing those seeds sprout is a great feeling.
The other is mint slice bikkies!
Roll on motherhood.....
Sue
:flower:

Hi all,

Hope you're having a great weekend.

Cazz - oh you poor pet!! Can you take yourself shopping? Or go have a pedicure/manicure/hair cut/massage/something nice? Catch up on some Zzzs?? I'm a bit up and down. am considering the dreaded POAS so when it comes up negative I can deal and move on. (not that I'm recommending that to anyone as I know their evil...)

Hi Sue, I had my transfer on the same day and will be having the BT on the same day too. Wow, 15 years is a long time. Fingers crossed for a good result for you!! (only 9 days to go and counting!)

Shaz - I can undertand the need to go AWOL. Hope you can find that happy place. Will keep fingers crossed for you, let us know how you get on (yes, bring on the BFP!!)

How are you travelling today Trish?

:bluestick: :bluestick:

Cheers,

thanks ladies.
Unfortunatley the IVF ate up all my money............ #-o so not shopping trips or the like. DH is out today so I am just about to sit a watch a movie.

I love mint slice bikkies. I am steering clear of the chocolate though cos chocolate is a miscarriage food!!! not willing to risk it!!

I am 8 days past transfer. blood test next friday!!!

It feels like its going so slowly. I wish I could sleep through it!!

I, for a change am not going to POAS the last 4 times I got BFP's on sticks I miscarried!!! gonna wait till after my Blood BFP!!!

question.......If this does not work I am supposed to go strait into another cycle. just to clarify....will that include a complete down cycle on the pill? I only ended up with the one emby so there will be no frozen cycle for us.

meanwhile off to go continue to go stark raving mad!!

Cazz

Good afternoon ladies wow it is a gorgeous day in melbourne today!!

I am also keeping my fingers crossed for all you twwaiter's out ther i haven't even started mine yet not until wednesday but i am already dreading it!!

Take Care all and enjoy the lovely day!!

Hey ladies

quick update, i found out about the sunshine clinic it is part of mivf

Thanks blue for the suggestion to google search it!!

Thanks for telling me about the chokky Caz, eeeeek. Hope I haven't done any damage!! Hope it's a funny movie to cheer you up. A tear-jerker can be good too - cathartic - get rid of that pent-up frustration. Can certainly relate to the empty bank a/c. About 10 years ago I had some Reiki done (one of the natural therapies I tried). I remember the lady told me it's a good idea to follow creative pursuits while TTC. It's supposed to get your mind/body/spirit into the whole idea of creating a baby. Maybe you could draw something/design something silly in PowerPoint or anything - even if it does look dumb?
Hi Blue, nice to have someone to count down with. What does POAS mean?
Glad it's a great day in Melbourne, it's blowing a gale here on the sunny Central Coast of NSW. Lucky I don't own any red shoes.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Sue
:flower:

POAS means Pee On A Stick

wow on the creative thing.
the thing is I spend most of my time either crosstitching, knitting or reborning. perhaps I am being too creative!!! lol.

Cazz

Hi sue
and welcome to the wonderful world of the TTW ](*,) next week is going to be very very interesting [-o< hard girls
maybe we should start a picket line
:noaf: :noaf: :noaf:

Cazz, I was obviously singin' to the choir with the creative stuff. Keep it up. What is reborning? By the way, I've eaten a mandarin and salad since I got the chokky news. Don't think that's going to cancel the 6 MSB's I gobbled last night. Had my usual thigh and lower back pre-period pain so needed some comfort. It's still hovering very slightly, I'm telling myselft it's the Crinone, or my endo reacting to the hormones! Are you getting to see ANY of that movie? It's an icky day here, I'm just about to stick my head in a Patricia Cornwell book. See how many pages I can read before I realise I haven't retained any of it because I'm too busy wondering about emby????
Shazz, ROFL :chairfall: at your picket line suggestion. I'm there. After reading all these posts, I think it would go all the way around Australia. Hey, there's a thought. Heighten ART awareness around the country and maybe some of those mindless pollys who want to cut Medicare funding for ART may wake up or at least do a bit more research. Sorry - at my age (42) that's a sensitive topic! :soapbox:
Sue
:flower:

Thanks Trish, are the injections in a pen? or does it vary? Only a couple of days til I find out!

Blue, sorry my mistake, I meant 2 in the am and 2 in the pm (I use 8am/8pm) realised how that looked, oops!!!!

Humphrey, Had a giggle at you hiding from the MIL, how handy it must be to have a second story at times...

Babydreams - good on you for staying strong and resisting the magnetic forces of the pee sticks! Keep it up!!!

Sue - you are a bloody legend. 15 years is a long time to go through infertility hell. Thats truly inspiring!

Cazz - My suggestions for 2ww time wasting include spring cleaning the house. twice. just to make sure you got everything. Ordering photos from the last 20 years. Writing an email or letter to every friend and relative you have, even you spoke to them yesterday. Trying to get those googlewhacks - googling something that comes up with just one result. lol, what a boring life I lead!!!!

On the creative thing, I find mosaicing to be my cathartic release, but I never find time to do it... what with all my spring cleaning... :-s

Sue Reborning is when you take an ordinady children's baby doll like this

pull it apart and transform it into a real looking baby. these babies were made from the above doll!

What a great idea Cazz. I have a doll I got when I was learning infant massage instruction which is just perfect for this!! Why hadn't I thought of that before!!!
You certainly know all the stuff.
Sue :flower:

Hi Sue42 and welcome,
Just thought I would introduce myself as I saw in your intro you were wanting to chat to OLD people :D I am 43 and have been hanging out here for over a year TTC naturally. I am not around much at the moment, as we have just made the decision to do IVF, probably with donor eggs - so I have joined another board to learn more about that.
But I still pop in occasionally to see how everyone is doing.
Hope you get the success you want this time around. By the way, on this board I have just joined there are women doing IVF with their own eggs still at 47 so you may have a few years left.

Thanks Anney.
I needed that inspirational message about the age thing. My cramping has increased in the past hour or so 8-[ .
Lucky I've taken a couple of weeks off work. I'm sure several people would ending losing their heads for no reason whatsoever.
Have been feeling positive up until the cramps.
Here's my chant:
It's just crinone cramps, it's just crinone cramps, it's just crinone cramps
Sue
:flower:

oh bugger it ....... :smt016 :smt016 i feel like i am going to go mad!!!!

Some one stop the rollercoaster :feelsick: i 'm gunna throw up :sick:
arrrrrrrrrrrrgh

i have i told you all

I Hate The TWW

You poor love! I share your hate if that helps any! We should have a compil;ed list of ways to kill time that we can all contribute to to share ideas to keep busy!

I'm on the bus with you guys as well. Maybe I'm a bit luckier though. I only found this forum yesterday. I've spent the whole day reading threads!!
I still hate it though. Tomorrow I may sit down and calculate how many months I've been TTC over 15 years. There, I've made a plan for tomorrow.
Come on all you 2WWers. Post 1 plan for tomorrow!
Sue
:flower:
B/T 29/8/05

my Plan for tomorrow

1. do a bit of this [-o<
2. chant a little to saint Jude
3. :af: get the voodoo needles out
4. :dh:(dh) probably yell at him
5. :smt024 talk to you all for awhile see how you are all doing
6. :sleeping: catch a few zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
7. :eat: should bring me to lunch
8. [-o< some more
9. :-({|= have a little pity party cause i didn't buy and HPT and i want to know NOW
10. :sleeping: few more of these zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
11. :eat: bit of this
12. :sleeping: back to catching zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

sounds riveting \:D/

Well, at least that killed 10 minutes of your time??? Didn't take your mind off it but picking out all those emoticons got all the CREATIVE juices flowing...
I just made my caterpillar. This little exercise is almost 2 months long...aaaggghhh
Sue
:flower:

Hi Sue
glad you found us - your right blowing a gale In Sydney - LOL at red shoes - Dorothy come and sing us one of your songs
It is the crinone cramps - keep telling yourself....

Kelly - yes it is in a pen most of time - unless you go to Shazz's clinic

Shez- best of luck for Tuesday scan thanks for :bluestick: :pinkstick:

Shazz - no POAS [-X --way too early
I loved your list I am going to church to kill a few hrs and [-o<
Love the picket line :noaf:

Thanks Anney - you always inspire us -have you found much info ?

Humphrey - guess you have been busy with dear MIL - hey does your cycle start tomorrow ? roll on FET

Cazz- think calm thought and chant positive ones that should kill a few minutes. Cazz - BTW your Q. not that you will need it - but down reg is one type of cycle - always ask Dr about other otpions -Flare - google what this involves but not as long.

I love those reborn dolls - a lady I met made one and called her Charlotte after my DD - she wanted ask if I wanted to buy it but I couldn't - it wasn't anything like I imagined Charlotte to be and wasn't so much a baby doll as older bub. Yours are gorgeous - I thought of buying another -she had them on ebay - but I never could.

How did you get pictures in :smt102 ? I tried once and nothing ](*,)

I am sticking with my crosstitch missed last night and tonight on BB atm but finished the cookatoo -light sky blue ob white - soooo hard I am pleased to move on to 'A'

Blue - I am travelling FINE - but remarkable calm - must be all my chanting - and I read people who spend a lot of time talking to friends are less stressed and more healthy.

Zap Racheal goodluck for Wednesday -

I found a 2ww wait website - pretty neat - hope I can find it again and I 'll PM you the link 2ww's

Great idea who ever it was about powerpoint I was thinking of doing one for Charlotte - to send to my family but a funny 2ww one will be good to keep me busy.

I go to work but I don't do much - LOL - lucky I sleep with the 'boss' (actually I am the real boss I just let him think he is) or I'd get the sack.
Every night we have been having candle light dinners - he is so sweet.

Keen how are you ?

Ness - we miss you and wonder where you are up too the past week ?

Sheree - how are you going and your precious embies ? thinking of you

Ali - where are you up with your next cycle ?

Tam - has Af shown up ? roll on your FET :pinkstick: :bluestick:

Mel - how are going ?

Nola- have you popped in again ?

Ann- when does your clinic reopen for your next cycle ?

Bee - we haven't seen you for ages I hope you are okay after last cyel disappointment

Chris - hello my friend - how are you travelling with those gallstones ?

Leisa & Janee how are you - are you lurking somewhere please say hi and tell us where you are up too.

:bluestick: :pinkstick:
:pdust: :bdust:
to us all

Killing time ....

Had to add my quirky DH - whenever we go to FS - there are pink and blue fabric chairs almost alternatively arranged - he always tells me to sit in pink one ... and him the blue LOL -

what silly things does your DH do to make you laugh ?

this should get some discussion - only positive comments please no :smt062 no :smt014

Trish, that's amazing. I have trouble keeping track of everyone. Lucky you're here to do it. I had the brainwave about the PowerPoint slides. Might add that to my list of things to do 2mrw.
Cazz & Shazz - I hope you both made it through the day in one piece [-o<
This ole 1-emby-on-board gal is off to squeeze some more Cramping Crinone up there and catch some zzzzzzzz's. I hope this doesn't sound :-({|= but I have to say this. I can't tell you how much better I feel today after chatting with you all, reading about you all and knowing that I'm on the same rung of the ladder as a few of you at the same time.
Keen - can you please add me to the list of 2WW's? I posted my details yesterday. At least I think it was yesterday. :smt102 I am very very vague at the moment and I feel as though I haven't moved from this chair in ages. :smt024
Hope to catch up with some of you 2mrw.
Sue
:flower:

Hi Girls!
Woo hoo, one more day down - closer to BT day!
Hope you're all doing okay today. I made a list of things to do and now am feeling guilty for not getting my butt into gear and doing them!!

Trish - was thinking, hmmm what quirky things does DH do??? Nope, nothing really... and then I heard him singing..to the dogs!! Yep, my DH sings to our dogs!! and no, he doesn't have a good voice. It cracks me up sometimes as he makes up the words eg. He'll sing a song he's just heard but change the words...

His favourite one is "Shake her to the left, shake her to the right, shake that little Polly (dog's name) with all of her might, oh Polly - yeah yeah yeah little Polly...she's the sweetest girl and you better treat her right"
:smt043 :smt043 :smt043

take it easy
H

LOL H ? (Blue) are you coming out ?

Love that name 'Polly' - sounds sweet of DH

I have done one thing on my list - baked my sticky banana & walnut pudding =D>
- DH is cleaning the gutters O:) and I am on BB sneakingly - going off to drop somehting off at brother's, shopping @ Spotlight and then friends place for dinner .They eat and finish early so I'll be back home in plenty of time for more BB and cross another thing on my list. That will take care of Sunday =D>

Hi everyone, sorry I've been MIA for over a week - I haven't been ignoring you just out of the country. After my 8th failure I felt a little upset to say the least, I couldn't look at the walls of my house anymore. I jumped on the net and booked a holiday to Hong Kong. So thats where I have been - doin a little retail therapy. Now I feel like I can take on the world of IVF again. I feel rejuvinated.

Dear Ness - just so long as you are okay :hug: - good to have you back

So did you have a good time and get lots of retail therapy ?

Good luck to all those in the TWW :pdust: :bdust:

Sushee I believe that Congratulations is in order
:happy4u:

Thanks Trish it was great I had a week of being so busy that I didn't have time to think of IVF and the likes - I think that helps as it can be so consuming - I am coming up to 2 years of trying with IVF - and it just feels like my whole life is on hold - so the week away was needed

Hi Girls,

Unfortunately I haven't been out of the country, just flat out with work. Well I am having my FET on the 15th Sep, so a few trips over east for BT's and U/s. Feeling very pi$$ed off atm. Just sick of everything being a struggle. I have decided though if we aren't successful this time, I'm finished, and yes I will be leaving the country for a holiday somewhere (any ideas, I do like Vanuatu). I've just had quite enough of this game.

Sorry if I'm bringing anyone down, just in a $hitty mood.

Ann

Anne I know how you feel that's why I went o/s, also everyone around me is falling pg, and for a few of them (family members) it was by 'accident', thats worse, I would be happy for them if they had been trying for a while, and experienced just a little of the struggle we IVFers have to endure. :flower:

By the way Fiji's nice as well as Vanuatu - relaxing

Hi ladies,

A holiday would be nice. Dh and i are hoping to drive up to nt through qld and back down to melbourne at the end of the year.

Can hardly wait!!

Haven't even started my tww yet but i don't think i am going to o this month.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for all you girls.

Racheal

Hi ladies.
DH and I went to camberwell market this morning for a couple of hours then came home. My sister came over to bake my dad's 50th birthday cakes(two big chocolate mud cakes) but as usual would have prefered to be somewhere else and left before the second one was finished cooking. It just fell completely apart on me broke in half and everything.
I told mum and my Sis not to get packet mixes but what did they do. the first one turned out kind of okay the second well...disaster!!!
I would have made them but that would have meant my mum thinking I would have paind for them and right now we are so stretched for money I could not afford to make them.
I was going to be decorating them. I have done lots of cake decorating stuff and was happy to do this. but making two large(25cm X 25cm) choc mud cakes would have trashed me. as it is I am buggered and all I did was open and close the oven...... I am so P's off right now!!!

I am going to have to rummage through my cupboards and see if I have the ingredients to make at least 1 cake.
lots of people coming to this party one cake is not going to be enough!!

after posting this I am going to go check ingredients. Plus I also have to come up with a darn costume for saturday night. Dad's turning 50 so his surprise party theme is 50's Rock and Roll

UGH UGH UGH ](*,) ](*,) ](*,)

I am hoping to get to relax a while later but I may have no choice cos I feel like I am about to drop.

Thanks for the lovely comment on my reborns. I won ribbons in a doll show with them.

5 days to go.........................

Cazz

good afternnon all,

good to have you back Ness :D

a holiday would be lovely - argh yes i can picture myself laying on a beach with crystal clear blue water not to hot just a slight breeze Mocktail in one hand ... ok i'm back i needed that mirco escape :)

can't complain to much DH is taking me to the gold coast tomorrow for the day picnic on the beach i need to get out of this house and tomorrow is his last day off so tomorrow it is !!!!!

Welcome back Ness.

Funny you all mention holidays, not having been through as much as many of you, still after 19 months I feel could desperately use a holiday! Have even gone as far as finding the "right" place, accommodation etc. Now, if only I had the funds... !

Hi to everyone, what a weekend in here, had a busy weekend so just come in now to catch up & took me ages!!!!

My heart goes out to the TWWers, seems to be going for ages (as long as my 5 week cycle) to me so I can imagine it for you guys. Who's first to BT, probably could check the 1st page but that would be too easy!!

Humphrey, have you gone onto CD1 yet, yes I"m still waiting but am not expecting AF til tonight so if you've seen her, send her over.
Big laugh about the MIL hiding, no need to hide around here, we barely see the inlaws, not a close family.

We have beautiful Perth weather today, been out bike riding & bbq in the park. Having a good day before turning hormonal on my FET.

Take care, will be back later for update.

Hi
I'm not on the 1st page yet, my B/T is Monday 29th, same as Blue....

Tam, I hope AF makes it to your place but doesn't take any wrong turns on the way there!!
Sue
:flower:

Sue, I'll ensure she's got strict instructions to go straight from Humphrey to me or vice versa, no stopovers!!!!!!!