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hi all, porshe-i have pcos,clinic started me on bcp,told me to keep taking metformin...ferrals-sorry about bfn...mildez-hope you can get dh to dr's...afm-1st embie they thawed didn't survive,they let me bring it home to bury it,they were pleased with the 2nd one they thawed,so that one has been put in,thanks for the kind words & wishes
MatthewsMum - thanks for your post and I'm sorry your little embie didn't thaw :( hoping with all my might that your second one is snuggling in and all goes well for you. So the TWW finally begins...do you have any plans for it? Thinking of you x
Sunbeam, glad you decided to stay with us for a bit longer - not ready to let you go yet! Looking forward to hearing what the TCM practitioner says Monday. It was Mildez, not me, that predicted she was oing from the side with no tube..
Crafty, how are you today?
Saffy, happy for the weekend? Are you feeling any better?
Ferrals, thanks for your post earlier :hug:. I think that's why I haven't wanted to find out...the less I know, the less it can hurt and the less I can dwell on it. The whys and the what fors just do my head in. I'm so sorry for what you went through with Abbi, I can only imagine how hard that must have been and I'm hoping that you don't ever have to go through it again
Porsche, Possum, Sevie - hugs to you all.
x
Oh man... how crap do I feel? I just got up the guts to call my brother and SIL and she started bleeding this morning. Her blood test is tomorrow morning, so who knows, maybe she is still in with a chance but she doesn't think so. She was totally convinced she was pg until this morning but says the bleeding is heavy now, like AF. I had the worst dream last night about it all and spent the morning on and off in tears and now I just feel super crap...and selfish. How can I not be sad for them? The worst thing about this TTC and MC crap is that everything gets tarnished by it - you can't share people's joy without feeling sad for your own loss, you can't reveal in your pg without feeling like something awful is going to happen to take the dream away, it just does my head in, such a big bag of confusing emotions. Honestly, on days like today, I just can't take it anymore. Sorry for the me post.
MatthewsMum, how are you feeling today or are you trying to just not think about it?
Porsche, is your appointment this Tuesday?
Crafty, how are you going? Hugs to you
MurrayCod, if you are lurking, have the cramps eased off at all? Hang in there - got everything crossed for you for Tuesday.
KitF, don't know if you lurk here, but if you do, crossing my fingers for your scan in two weeks time
Hi everyone else.
x
alice-i hope things work out for your sil,be kind to yourself,youv'e been through so much....i'm thinking about going away for a few days in this tww,maybe take my mind off things a bit,due for bt on the 30th,think i'll poas before that,not on any meds this time around so there isn't any risk of false positives.Didn't have to worry about different dr doing transfer,he was lovely,told me to be positive which of course i'm finding hard too do.
Hi Ladies
Alice - :hug::hug:. How sad for your SIL. Yes my appointment is tomorrow. Really looking forward to getting this show on the road. I've not O'd yet so we'll see what he wants to about that information. Hopefully it won't hold anything up. We got our nurse appointment first and then we meet with Dr DeAmbrosis afterwards. DH has to do his SA while we are there lol How fun for him. Will he still need to do one even though we got pregnant in Feb?
Matthew's Mum - FX for your TWW. I hope we het some great news at the end of It. I understand why you want to take time away. It's always on your mind. Good Luck!
I thought I'd post a quickie just to say I'm out for this month. AF came a day early on Saturday and was really painful. Better than being late I suppose because then I would've got all excited. I was very sad and depressed Saturday morning and the smallest thing would set me off in tears. But I'm feeling a lot better today and will focus on getting fitter and losing some weight. Then on to TTC again.
The AF pain was similar to the mc I had in Jan although not as long. I worried that something isn't right. Has anyone has any complications after their mc? The last few AF's have been normal. It's amazing how we start over analysing everything thing about our bodies isn't it.
Good luck for everyone that is still in the 2ww.
HappyBaby
hi girls,
Porsche- good luckwith your appointment, I can't wait for mine either, a week today- yay! The place I go to makes you do two SAa but my DH has only done 1, he won't be happy if he has to do another one-poor blossom!!
Alice- I had a good weekend thanks, worked some of it but had a great Sat night and sunday. Sorry to hear what happened with your SIL, I hope everything works out for her and your brother. I have had a similar situation with a friend, i would never tell anyone the thoughts going through my head, anyway she got pregnant again the next month after miscarrying, I found that very hard to deal with. You aren't being selfish, you have just had a gut reaction related to your experience, its not fair at all. Hugs to you xxxxx
Ferals- you sound like you are a great mother and will be again, it good to have a backup plan, I am sure you will get your BFP soon one way or another xx
Matthew'smum- best of luck and love during your tww,I hope it goes quickly for you and theres a great result at the end, you deserve it xx Sorry the other embie didn't make it, that is a nice thing you are doing to take it home xx
Everyone else- hope all is going well xx
AFM- going to acupuncture today, think I might O today or tomorrow but typical I am on night shift tonight so will have to force myself on DH when he gets home, one last chance before IVF! CAnnot wait until my appointment next week with FS as its a a diferent one from the last few times I went. She is a doctor at the hospital where I work and I have delivered a baby with her she is really nice so I am looking forward to seeing her! Take care everyone x
Thanks girls, you're the best :hug:
Don't know what I did there....anyway, was still writing!
MatthewsMum, I know it's hard to be positive when you've been through losses before. I hope you can find a balance between the hope and fear that is perfectly normal under the circumstances. Some time away sounds like a good plan. :pray: you get a happy outcome from this transfer. I'm glad the other FS was lovely.
Saffy, glad you are feeling better and looking forward to your appointment - only a week to go! Your new doc sounds great. Fingers and toes crossed for you!
Porsche, so tomorrow is D day! Yah!! Good luck with it and let us know how you go
HappyBabby, I had a mc in January too and I've found that each AF since my mc has been different. The first few were quite light, the next after that was good, the one after that not good, this one very painful...I think it takes a while for our bodies to get back to normal. If you are really concerned though it is always good to speak to a doc. Do you have a gynie or FS?
Sunbeam, looking forward to hearing how you go today with the TCM practitioner.
Ferrals, Crafty, Sevie - you lovely ladies OK? Hope you had good weekends.
MurrayCod - one more sleep! :pray: all will be well for you and these cramps will stop
x
Hi everyone! Hope you had a nice w/end, mine was flat out but good to get my mind off everything!
Matthewsmum - so beautiful that you got to bury your little emby, i think thats a great thing to do! I have everything crossed for you in your 2ww, take it easy ok xx
Murray - Sending you lots of love and stregth for tomorrows scan, good luck gorgeous xx
Alice - oh love, sorry to hear about your SIL and the mixed emotions you were hainvg with it! I am exactly the same with all pregnant ppl! What you wrote in your last post - i can just relate to it soooo much, our feelings of happiness for other ppl are just buried in our sadness and loss! One of DH's mates wives is about 14wks, saw her on the w/end and she is showing... she looked so happy and everyone was fussing over her and i over heard her talking about the baby moving around when she had her scan... i was so envious, i felt sick! I want to be happy for her but im too absorbed by my own misery! I hate it! I used to be soooo thrilled to hear of pregnancy's!
ferrals - lovely idea about foster children! you sound like such a supportive mum, those children would be lucky to have you as a foster mum!
happybaby - sorry to hear of aF but your right, at least its early and not late! Nothing more annoying than a late AF!
Porsche and Saffy - good luck your appts! Looking forward to hearing all about them!! xx
Crafty - how are things with you? Your DH sounds so gorgeous!!
Mildez - How soon until you start IVF?? Good news that both ovaries are looking good! Positive thinking is the key! Sounds so easy but i find it the hardest thing to master!
Sunbeam- how are you feeling lovey??
Dory - do you lurk in here?? How are things with you!! Ive missed you!! Your belly must be looking so beautiful atm!!!
AFM - well according to FF im 3DPO today which i agree with! Had terrific EWCM for the 1st time since b4 my last pregnancy! Hopefully its cause of the lap, d&c and tube flush!!! Saw my chinese herb lady the other day and left so upset AGAIN! She said that Dh and I should take 3 mths off cause she thinks that my body is rejecting all his sperm cause he has 92% abnormalities! Has anyone ever heard of this ?!! My FS wasnt concerned about it so i dont see why see is! I was so upset for the 3rd week in a row after seeing her!! Im thinking its time to stop the herbs and acupuncture cause its no good if i leave the appts feeling worse than when i entered them! Just hard cause I have built such a good relationship with her that i feel awfully guilty if i quit on her! I dont know what to do! Have been seeing her 5mths with nothing! Ah i dunno!! Bring on my holiday!!!
Have a nice day everyone! xx
Happybaby I guess I have been lucky with my AFS after my m/c and ectopics. They have all been wht I'd describe as normal and not really any different to before.
Matthewsmum hope the 2WW is speedy and you get a BFP at the end of it. All my fingers are FX for you.
Porsche yeah that your appointment is tomorrow.
Saffy this is my last chance before IVF also. CD12 for me not getting my hopes up as I honestly don't think I will get UTD but I guess stranger things have happened.
Murraycod
Happybaby - i had my m/c in Sept 09 and had a D7C and my periods have been all over the shop since! They are usually 30-32day cycles but the bleeding is light then heavy then black clots, just crazy! And i seem to spot for a few days after! Just had another D&C after my lap 3weeks ago and finally had a very normal AF after that! Hope it my next AF shows up, that its normal too!! Oh and yes i have a lot of pain but i have endo so probably just that! xx
T-hopes how ridiculous. Is she saying your body is making your DH sperm abnormal or because of the 92% abnormal ones that your body is reacting? As if it works like that. Yes your body can react to sperm but that isn't going to affect the quality before it goes into you if you know what I mean. I don't think I would return either if its not beneficial to your holistic health.
Yes when my next AF arrived approximately CD28/29 (I am on CD12 now) I am due to start the pill and I guess I am on that for about a month before I start sniffing and injecting etc. But I wont know more until 9th July when I see the Dr. I can't wait. I am counting down to the appointment not til when I am due to test (its about the same time) Well actually I am scared of him. I don't want to see him but at the same time I want to get it over with and get started. I don't feel comfortable about been councelled by him seeing as I work for him. It feels a little too personal. I'd prefer someone I don't know but that isn't an option. Maybe I can have a phone consultation with someone I don't know.
T-hopes! Hello!! Hope the time when you are glowing and everyone is fussing over you isn't too far away :hug: Your TCM sounds like mine...one week she told me there was nothing much about my chart that she was positive about :o um, hello, ever heard of encouragement?!! Have you thought about talking to her about the fact you are leaving upset week after week and that you're not sure it is helping you to be feeling like that? I have considered talking to mine about it but not sure how far I'd get. At the moment I'm sucking it up 'cause if she can help me then I'll keep trying but some days it really gives me the ****s! I don't know what to suggest...
Mildez, missed you too - sorry! Good luck trying to catch that egg this month - be great not to have to do IVF but if it comes to it, hope it all goes your way.
Have a good day everyone - I'm off to clean the house...or not x
Mildez - she's saying that because his abnormalities are higher than 85%, my body was be just shunning them all! I dont think my uterus would do that to the poor little guys!! It loves them!! So she now thinks that the problem!! I really find that hard to believe but it stresses me now! Ohh i would be the same if i had an ivf consult coming up! Its very exciting! I guess it would feel like you have more control over the situation once you start ivf! Cause i know i feel like its a battle ill never win naturally!
Alice - Yeah my lady is so so lovely but the last 3 appts i have been so upset! She keeps saying that im not pregnant cause my mind is too messed up and i will never get pregnant if im this anxious! 2 weeks ago she said that my endo on my bowel wouldnt have caused my infertility but my FS said otherwise so then she put that in my mind! She honestly has my best interest at heart but its getting stressful and its not suppose to be! I soooo want to talk to her about it all but we have a good relationship and I know she really worries about me and it will crush her if i say she is upsetting me! BUT i guess i should listen to mums advice - its not about her feelings, i have to be selfish and look after no.1!!! Ohh but thats just not how i roll, i always worry about affending or hurting ppl! Im too damn nice! Grrrrrr!
PS - obviously we are not listening to her advice of not trying for 3months just cause she has a hunch that may be our problem! I gave her the 'Are you f*&king serious?' look! She read me loud and clear!
T-Hopes- god that is a bit of a difficult situation, esp getting mixed messages from both Fs and chinese medicine lady, it sounds a bit dodgy so take her advice with a grain of salt (esp the not trying for 3 months- as if!) Its not right to be feeling so bad afterwards. I am in the process of getting up the guts to dump my counsellor because while she is helpful in some areas, I get the feeling she doesn't really support IVF ( I felt like shouting at her once "WELL WHAT OTHER CHOICE DO I HAVE???") I wish I could be so lucky to be in the situation where I could afford to not support IVF!!
Happybaby- sorry I missed your post before, sorry for your BFN xx
mildez- its not ideal I know seeing someone you work with, maybe he will be different in the appointment. Its awful having to see them at work when you've just shown them 'everything' so to speak, xx
Alice have fun cleaning, I am off to the gym to torture myself then back to do some ironing
xx
Im just lurking here guys.. i just felt like i had to reply to T-Hopes! :)
Honestly 92% of abnormal sperm is not that bad.. ur body wldnt be rejecting his sperm, all that would be happening is the little sperm isnt able to penetrate the egg. But you know what, there are so many millions of little swimmers and all it takes is 1 good one to fertilise ur egg and Bang! Ur UTD!! Most of the time the ones with 2 heads etc. cant even find there way up the path to ur egg. Its horrible to say.. but do u think this lady is enjoying ur money too much?? Does she keep giving u new things each week to take?? And thats why she wants u to wait for 3 months just so she can keep seeing u??
I went to a naturopath a year ago, i was feeling very healthy but just wanted an overall healthcheck.. i left with $300 worth of pills and was told to come back a month later to get more.. There was no way i was going too!!
I reckon its good to listen to both opinions.. get one from ur FS and also from ur chinese herbalist.. and then u decide what u believe is the best otion and advice for u. Listen to ur gut instinct. I went to another naturopath just at a natural health store a couple weeks ago cos my body has been playing huge games with me.. she gave me heaps of maca to take and said not to take clomid or anything else ever again.. just to let things happen naturally. I took the maca for a week but have now stopped cos af finally came.. I considered not taking clomid but really theres no way i can do that.. if its going to increase my chances of falling pg sooner then i am defintely going to do it!
And defintely dont feel bad about not going back to the chinese lady for a while.. just say something like..ur listening to her advice and have decided u need to take a break from it all and just relax!!
Good luck xx
Oh have u got ur dh on sperm max?? i put mine on it last week.. i have heard its the best thing for males little swimmers. Even if it helps by 1% im happy!!
Hello to everyone else in here too!! Im hoping i dont need to join u guys in a few months.. but at the same time i would love to be in your group with u all again! :)
Take care xx
Cleaning? What cleaning?? :)
T-hopes, it's a difficult situation but your Mum is right - this is not about her feelings, it's about your treatment and yes the relationship is important but only to the extent that it works as a patient/therapist relationship. I'm sure you can find a way of bringing it up with her that will focus the discussion on where it needs to be - you. If you frame it that way to yourself, it will help too (try not to think about how she will feel but rather what it is you need from this treatment). I also agree with Saffy's advice to take all with a grain of salt - I really grilled this TCM practitioner on my first appointment (she is the third one I have seen over the years, along with a naturopath) and the main things that made me think she was worth a try is that she is clearly supportive of IVF, knows that is our only way, and is more than happy to work alongside my treatment and she knows her fertility stuff backwards (and I had LOTS of questions to ask her) so the fact she has no bedside manner to speak of I just live with - we've all met plenty of docs in our time that are the same, doesn't mean they aren't good at what they do. I am confident that this treatment is beneficial to me for a range of reasons, not just IVF, but you have to feel like they are working with you. As for your endo affecting your fertility, the answer is clearly YES, but now you've had your op things should be improving for you. I can't comment on your DH's sperm sorry - I'm investigating that side of things myself and from the discussions here I can see that ideas of what is normal vary wildly. Sorry it's so difficult for you but don't be afraid to find what you need - you first! Sorry if I sound strident but I feel a bit grrr about her telling you to stop being anxious when she is actually making you anxious!!!
Saffy, I agree that if you feel this counselor is not supportive of IVF then look for another one. You know what your options are and you don't need that from a counselor that is not what they are there for. I'm sorry - I've met lots of people with these views and it makes me angry. Surely we now live in an era of choice and your choices need to be supported (even when they are not choices you would have wanted to make IYKWIM).
PS Hi Reet!
sorry, me again :redface:
T-hopes, one last thing - Ferrals got her herbs over the internet so you don't have to stop taking them - she might be able to help you with details.
Over and out! (promise!)