LT TTC after Miscarriage or Loss #3

Mildez-yeh! it is westmead fertility centre in the hospital grounds like i said before i found them to be awesome if you get in early for BT and U/S there is hardly any waiting i always got there around 7:30 for our 8am appointment and we were always done by 8 they only take a certain amount of ladies per cycle so they can manage they share the theartre with the dental clinic so book a certain number at a time.
Even the theatre nurses were great and doted on me not like SIVF i had EPU was wheeled into a room for 30 minutes and then had to get dressed and leave feeling sick and cramping and having to go down a heap of floors by lift with all these business people who share the building then walk half a block to get to our car park which was up 3 levels and cost us $50 for a few hours.
West mead let me rest for 2 hours with a heat pack and they got me something to eat and i got a buggy ride back to see the scientist and then the car park was right across from the clinic which cost $8 for the day i cant fault them it is just ashame they dont do PGD ivf which would have been good so we know our baby is not effected with SLO.

Porsche-another tell tail sign the puregon was injected is the slight ovary ache you get soon after i always got a dull ache within half an hour of injections so i knew it was doing something to my follies.

Saffy-mungrel prank callers i use to have a heavy breather years ago when i was a teenager you could even here him doing himself over the phone so one day i just yelled out dad it's for you and he never rang again lol.

AFM-had a little bit of a panic today what if this baby has SLO how will i deal with it i am anxious for the cvs but terrified of the results because for now the bub is safe inside me and i am oblivious as to wheather it is healthy or not then i thought if we have to end it and start again i would have to wait until the end of october or november to try again this is going to be an extremely hard few weeks god i hope our run of bad luck is well and truely over and we can finely relax and look forward to completing our family.

Your not alone on that one Crafty. I won't get on the scales but last time I was up 11kilos from last year and 18 from my last successful pregnancy. Mine wont budge either.

Hey Crafty i missed your post i have put on 3 kilos since losing Abbi and i cant shift it either.
And i think you have known me far to long i have been demanding the prego porn a bit i cant help it.

Hope you get those keys soon so you can settle in and relax and concentrate on baby making.

Ferrals I truely pray your bad luck is over. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you. Signs are great so far thought aren't they with the high HCG? Not that you know a number but such a strong POAS early can only indicate a great HCG level. It must be such a difficult time. If only getting pregnant was the only concern. I'll certainly be booking into Westmead fertility centre the moment I get a BFN. Just not quite sure how to go about it seeing as it too is over 500kms away with drugs etc. I can get all that hear with IVF Australia but don't know how to for WFC. It certainly sounds better and their success rate etc is the same anyway.

Crafty I put it on when I was pregnant ( many moons ago) only preg for 9 weeks but manged to eat enough for 10 people in that time, never been so hungry, so i can't blame the misc, but of course 1 1/2 years later i still have those 3 or 4 kgs hanging around.I'm trying to be careful now I am on the BCP to not blow out cos once I get UTD (Fx) I know I won't be able to control myself LOL

crafty - i hear u with the kg issue! I put on 5kg with my pregnancy and still carrying it! I find I start excercising and eating well for the first half of my cycle then it all goes out the window in my 2ww! Gets me really down!

Wow - cant believe how much some of your cycles are costing! Our IUI will be $1600 up front and should be about $990 out of pocket + meds. Im going with MIVF. They said IVF will be $8500!

Anyway sorry for the quick post, off to the hairdresser now! Having dinner tonight with friends that have just come down from the coast - she is 9wks preg!! Wonderful!! And they are suppose to be staying with us next weekend! I dont think I will cope with her whinging about being sick for 3 nights! :( S*its me so much!!!

Enjoy your weekend loveys xx

Ferrals, :hug: it must be very scary having that looming over this happy time but you have to believe this little one is a good, strong healthy bub and all will be well or it will do your head in. Worrying in advance will only upset you and you need to be resting. I know it is easier said than done but please try. You've made it this far and I really believe you will bring this baby home and all will be well.

Mildez, I don't think he'd suggest an antagonist cycle for that reason. I had long discussion with my FS about our type of cycle and he said almost all the cycles at SIVF are now antagonist cycles. They are much easier to recover from too, according to my TCM practitioner but the reason I'm doing a long cycle is to try to get more eggs. Given your age etc I can't see how you would be disadvantaged by doing it, especially if over stimulation is a possible issue.

Saffy, what a sick little turd to leave that sort of message on your phone! I'm glad you didn't take it seriously though I agree with the randomness of being reminded about pregnancy like that - makes me mad. I got on a bus a few weeks back and this woman just asks me straight out of the blue whether I have kids. I mean WTF? I don't even know her!! I was really upset about it - sometimes it feels like the universe is rubbing my face in it and then I wonder if there is just some sort of energy around me about TTC that others pick up on? Who knows!! Glad we'll be cycling together.

Crafty, you're not alone in the extra weight camp - I put on about 6kilos during my last IVF cycle and pregnancy - I've only lost it because of this strict diet. In fact, I'm a bit worried about loosing anymore since I'm now a size 12 - don't want to go any lower than that.

T-hopes, lovely to hear you so up - new 'do', new plan - it's all happening!! Don't worry about that friend, try to think of it this way: it's good to be around pg women's hormones as they can make ours a bit more active. It's the only angle I could ever think of to make it bearable!

Well after reading Ferral's last post I decided to ring Westmead to see if they have an age limit (they do - it's 43) and whether they would treat me (they will and I'm going to speak to them again Monday to give a few more details). I just can't get over the difference in price and I don't believe the odds would be that different so if this next SIVF cycle fails we'll keep trying through Westmead until I reach their age limit (18 months). Then I will give up gracefully (well, let's hope it's graceful and not a hysterical mess :) ). As for the cyst - it's definitely a cyst and I'm going for a scan to confirm. I just hope it pops with my next AF but it's been there through the last one and mine never seem to want to go that way so I don't know how that'll effect things - guess I'll have to see FS to see what he thinks. Hope everyone is having a nice weekend - sooo cold up here, we've got the fire on and I'm snuggling up with DH and crocheting him a scarf. Can't believe he is still not smoking and not one word about it! Just goes to show what he can do when he puts his mind to it.

Woohoo! good for you Alice i hope this cycle works and you dont have to go to west mead but if you do i can tell you i found them soooo much better and the cost took all the financial pressure off and like i said a few post back it didnt bother me one bit who the doctor was that did the EPU or TF as long as someone does it and they were all so lovely i didnt care who looked up my vjay jay.

BFN for me again today - Gee what a surprise! :angry:

F#ck it, I'm going shopping! ! !

sorry to hear it Thopes-go forth and shop. Also I love your sexy avatar- how did you get one?

Hi lovelies,

Sorry I have been so quite, i have been checking in each day but not in a chatty mood.

T Hopes - I'm so sorry for your BFN. So not what you needed right before spending 3 days with a pg friend! :comfort: I hope the shopping helps. I was exactly the same with the weight thing. I'd be really good and exercise well the first 2 weeks then nothing in the TWW as I was too focused on other things. I'm 11kg heavier than when i started TTC!

Alice - Wow DH is a star, good on him. I really hope your cycle works especially as it is so expensive. The costs everywhere differ so much its insane. My IUIs were half the price of T Hopes, including meds!

Crafty - Are you in your new place now? Moving is such a pain but at least its into your own place. I hope it is a lovely fresh start for you and hopefully a beautiful BFP will be your housewarming gift. Good on your DH too for being so wonderfully positive.

Ferrals - I hope tomorrow's bt shows great numbers and helps relieve some of your stress about bubs being healthy.

AFM - I had a lovely relaxing time at mum and dad's and with my brother. I am back to watching movies (well Gray's Anatomy actually) to try and keep my mind busy. I am so stressed about tomorrow's scan. In my head I keep hearing my FS say "I'm very sorry but ......" and then a whole string of horrible thoughts go through my head. Ferrals I can very much sympathise with your fear. Just to make it a bit worse the scan was booked for 8.30am but has been shifted to 11.50am so I have all morning to get myself worked up! Oh to be one of those lucky ladies that just sail through pg with not a care.

T-hopes :( I'm sorry you got a BFFN - I hope the shopping therapy helps :hug: x

Sunbeam - :hug: to you too - I hope you don't hear those words this time. I will be thinking of you and sending you lots of love tomorrow. Glad you had a restful time with your Mum & Dad. Movie marathon is good - keep distracted :stickyvibesboy: :stickyvibesgirl: xx

Ferrals - good luck for tomorrow I hope that hcg level is nice and a high and this bub is strong and healthy. x

Well I think I spoke too soon about DH having no side effects - seems every time I open my mouth to say something he's ready to bite my head off. I don't care though - just trying not to bite back and let him be cranky 'cause I know how hard it is to quit and he needs all the support I can give him so I've been cooking lots of nice dinners and just trying to keep things stress-free at home. It's going to take a bit of getting use to though - he's normally so gentle natured that it's a bit of a change. One nice thing is that he seems to be more in the mood so I'll be taking advantage of that as often as I can!

Thanks girls - I did have a good shop!! DH spoilt me!! Just hope AF hurries up now and doesn't drag out so we can get on with our final cycle b4 IUI! Bring on Sept! Ended up having an OK night with my preg friend last night- we went and saw Eclipse again - Edward fixes everything! ;)

Sunbeam - good luck tomorrow, will be thinking of you xx

Saffy - I joined up as a BB platinum member and you get an avatar when you do that! Its such a great site and has been my savior thru all of this so good to support the BB gals i say!

Hi everyone else!

Thanks Thopes- I will join, cos I check ed after I askedyou and realised that it is supportive of them and its cheap also. I have action in Sept as well with ivf so there will be a few of us getting BFPs in Sept I reckon!!!!

Sunbeam- sending you the best of luck for today, I hope sooooo much it is a beautiful scan, you must be so scared xxx

Alice- poor DH he has been a trooper I agree so has a right to be grumpy ( unfort he is inflicting it on you but thats because you are the one thats there), hopefully all your delish meals will cheer him up xx

Hi to everyone else, good luck with BT today Ferals

AFM- finally got my computer fixed -YAY, now i can be on BB all the time hehe!

Sunbeam praying you have a wonderful scan. I can understand your fears. FX everything is perfect.

Ferrals finally BT day. I think thats the longest I have heard of. I am sure its going to show absolutely fabulaous numbers today. Do you have a scan booked next? Just curious as to where to from here?

Hi Ladies

Sunbeam - Good luck for your scan. I know all will be well and thinking the worst is a normal feeling after all you've been through.

Ferrals - I hope to see a big number with you. Good luck!

Alice - I hope your DH gets better for you lol. I hope he appreciates the effort your putting in. It's all for a good cause so I'm sure it will be so worth it.

T-Hopes - Yay for shopping! What a great distraction.

Well my premonitions were right. Bub had no heartbeat and only measured 6 weeks 4 days. I have been booked in for a d&c tomorrow.

I don't know how to get through this again.

Oh Sunbeam No. I don't know what to say other than I am truley sorry.

Sunbeam I am so deeply sorry. I am heartbroken for you that this has happened again. Thinking of you at such a horrid time :grouphug:

Oh my god! sunbeam sweety i am so sorry i wish i was close by so i could come and give you a hug this is going to be a very hard time but please ask for the bub to be tested to find out what is going on and hopefully get some answers.
All my thoughts are with you hun.

My levels are 4759 the nurse asked if i had 1 or 2 embryos TF as it is either a very strong pregnancy or twins F#CK! F#UCK i am going to faint.
I have a scan on the 12th of August and she also said they have had a few single embryo TF's lately that have spilt into identical twins.

Thats fantastic Ferrals.

Sunbeam honey, I'm so so sorry for your loss. You are in my thaughts XX

Hi to all my lovelies, I am still stalking!XXXX Love and babydust to you all XXXX

oh Sunbeam - I'm so devastated to read of your loss tonight. My heart is crushed for you :( I wish I had the right words for you but the truth is, right now, there is nothing anyone can do to ease the pain. I'm so so sorry. Look after yourself and may your little one rest in peace, another beautiful angel in heaven xx

oh no Sunbeam, I'm so sorry:cry::comfort: I wish there was something I could say or do to help you must be terribly heartbroken I feel devastated for you. Sending you lots of love and cyber hugs xxoo

No! Sunbeam, that's so sad sweetie. I'm so sorry you have to do this again, all my prayers are with you xo

Hi Ladies

Well we had our scan this morning and it showed about 6 follies. I'm a little disappointed because they may not all be mature at EPU and then we have to contend with fertilization rates and possibly lose some there as well. I was hoping there would be a little more there.

We are planing on EPU on Monday with another scan this Saturday to see how they are maturing. My lining is good and up to the required thickness. We've also upped my dose of puregon.

So until Saturday just keep plodding along.

Porsche-dont panic remember my cycle was a flop because of that stupid cyst so out of 20+ follicles only 6 were big enough at EPU and then only 3 fertilised as one egg was not quite mature and the other 2 just didnt want to come to the party so i was pretty worried i would not even have one to TF but i did have one perfect one and look at me now they think it could be identical twins so i know we all hate hearing it only takes one i know i did i was sceptical but i am proof that is really does only take one.
Good luck i hope it all goes smoothly and you get a BFP real soon.

Sunbeam- so so sorry to hear this has happened :hug: I have no idea how anyone can get through what you have, but know we are here for you when you need xxxx

Porsche-hopefully things will pick up by your next scan, but as everyone says you only need one great one! I'm excited for you that your EPU is so soon :dance:

Sunbeam, thinking of you this morning xx

Porsche - Less eggs doesn't mean less quality. Some women get loads of eggs and none make it to day 3 so don't let that deter you. Most of my cycles are around that number and we always have had at least five by day 3 all grade 1 and two by day 5 grade 1-2. I hope the ones you are hatching are all nice plump healthy little eggs by next Monday and that you'll be our next BFP.

Ferrals - I'd love to say 'I told you so' but identical twins!! Wow!!! So thrilled for you - I'd be gobsmacked too! Looks like after all your pain and suffering you'll get double the joy in return - isn't that just the best! My mum always says 'good things come to those who wait' . So to everyone in here keep heart - when you think it is never going to happen for you, your luck can turn. Hold onto that hope! (and remind me in six weeks time will you)

Alice-that is the quote i have beside my avatar i have always believed that i do hope there is one in there though because with such a good HCG level it just has to mean a healthy bub well thats what i am telling myself anyway.
I looked up beta levels and mine are on the high side for a single pregnancy and on the average side for twins so it is really a 50/50 it was just the way the nurse said it i was like WTF! i dreamt this a week ago.
Not long for you to start the dreaded BCP i hope it all goes quick from here for you and before you know it you will be in the tww.

Hi to everyone.

Sunbeam-hunny i am thinking of you today.

Hi Ladies

Thanks for the pep talk lol. I know less may = more I guess I won't know until EPU. After all FS's talk of over stim I guess it's an anti climax lol. I was expecting at least 10 or 12?? I was also hoping to have some to freeze as well. And you are all right it only takes 1.

Sunbeam - My thoughts are with you today.

:comfort:Sunbeam I am so sorry honey this has happened to you again I know nothing I can say will make you feel any better but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers ! I am here for you and will pray you recover quickly please take care and don't blame yourself I definately beleive you need to go and get your NK cells cheked ! Take care we are all feeling this for you be brave !:comfort: you have always been there for me and I will be here for you !

Ferrals seems I got my dreams mixed up ( I dreamn't it was murray that had twins) lol seems it might be you how awsome is that you lucky girl and don't fret I know you will but have faith take care !

Murraycod so nice to see your name again and know you have not forgotten us ! keep well my friend and look after your self !;)

T-hopes hope your feeling better now AF is about gone its so disapointing isn't it I know exactly how you feel but on the bright side on to another cycle and soon IUI !

Alice hope your ok !

porsche wow 6 is better than 1 and I did say 1/2 a doz so I guess I was right you only need 1 good one as I told ferrals ( and they can split too !!! )

afm well all packed up and waiting the phone call to tell us to collect our keys ( could be another 7 days ) but busy relaxing as much as I can sewing as usal ! busy bdancing every few days and FX this is my month !!!

Keep well everyone if I go a few days without login on its because I moved and awaiting internet hook up !

HinLadies

Sunbeam - I hope you are recovering well and it doesn't drag out too long. I really feel for you.

Crafty - How excting. I hope you get your keys soon. We'll be moving in January. We rent though (which sucks) and I'm so not looking forward to it. All the crap we accumulate over the years aaahhh.

You did say about 1/2 a dozen. We had trouble looking at my right ovary so I'm hoping there are more in there. I think he was estimating from my left ovary which had about 5 or 6 so there is still hope.

Hey Everyone - well there are mixed stories going on in here.

Sunbeam - so sorry to hear that. I am exactly where you are right now. We got a weak heartbeat at our 6.5 week scan last Thurs. Question is, is it the embie, is it me? How do you find this out? We've got one blastie left in the freezer, but getting sick of losing them at around the 6 week mark everytime!!!

Sunbeam, I'm 37 years old and live on the Goldy if you want to catch up for a coffee sometime? I caught up with one of the girls from BB onetime and it was just great to sit there face to face and share our stories even though we were strangers, kind of. These journeys link us all!!!

Ferrals - well done hun. Twins would be my dream.

Thinking of you all xxxxxx

AFM - too scared to leave the house in case I start to miscarry...

Sunbeam- I hope everything went ok (IYKWIM) yesterday, rest up and take it easy hunny xxx

Mindhugs- hi nice to meet you, sorry you are in this situation of limbo land, hope it works out. I don't think there is any way to find out really except time, when are you getting another scan? xx

Alice- you are close to starting bcp, no looking back then! How is Mr Alice going ? Hope he is feeling less grumpy today, I understand how hard it is to quit, usually takes a few false starts as well, he will eventually realise how much better he feels physically!

Porsche-hopefully you will have about 6 as well in the other ovary so thats great! You will be well and truly UTD hopefully when you move in Jan, we have moved 3 times in the last 2 1/2 yrs but THATS IT! Never again, we own this house now, although I still have nightmares about having to move again.

Craftmummy- hope you survive a few days without internet or BB!! More time to BD!

Ferals-great news about the beta level!

Mildez- hi what did you decide to do?

Hey murrycod- great to hear from you hope all is going beautifully in your world xx

Nothing to report here, except failing in my health kick, my work is a constant source of cakes/chocolates/lollies and last week I had willpower but i lost it over the weekend and was tucking in to everything, so annoyed with myself. Also beng a bit slack on the exercise front and got a pep talk from my acupuncture lady, but its so cold herre I can barely leave the house. I am definately going to the gym today though.

Hi ladies

Sunbeam hope your getting over your D&C its so hard isn't it I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore or see as my eyes were so swollen, be brave I know its hard we are all here for you when you feel ready to talk !

Mindhugs so sorry you are in the same boat as sunbeam it sucks when you can get pregnant and then mc makes you wonder why the lord bothers letting you get a BFP when its just not going to work out ! But people do go on to have babies after mc I am proof of that I have had 5mc's in all but not managed to get a BFP since my last one in sept last year as yet but I am 45 now so I have to be a bit more patient !
Hopefully you will be sorted soon are you going to wait it out or opt for a D&C if it doesn't happen soon ? Keep well and try to look to the future !

Mildez how you doing ! hope your DH is smiling and giving you lots of support your time is nearly here how exciting !

Alice not long now till you go on the pill ( sounds kind of strange saying that in a TTC thread ) oh well I know its for the best FX your journey is short this time round !

Saffy Hi so glad your also having trouble staying on the good healthy track your not alone on that one ! I am the worlds worst with 7 kids at home and a birthday nearly every month well its impossible to leave the cake and lollies isn't it ! We will be moving for the 6th time in 4.5 yrs and one of those times was overseas to Australia from the UK 18mnths ago supose I should be used to it but I am not at least this time it will be permanent as its our own home at long last, this renting business is so hard it never feels like home !

Ferrals how are the twinnies ! no wonder your more horney than usual your lucky DH !!!! ( bet hes kind of worn out now ) give the guy a rest !!!

Porsche 6 is a good number you only need 1 good grade A like ferrals !!! she is an inspiration to us all !

afm well just trying not to think too much about TTC but day 13 so the big O anyday now so busy busy in the bedroom ( shame DH is warn out he is tired from the weekend paving the cross-over on the drive at the new house ) men you can never please them !!! :ttc:

crafty - happy O day!! Hope you catch that eggy! Cheeky little things arent they, they must hide around a corner so the sperm cant hump them!! :lol: Good luck for the move!

sunbeam - we are all here when your feeling up to it, Im sure I can speak on behalf of everyone when I say we are thinking of you! xx

Ferrals - oh twins! Im so jealous! Thats my dream!!! Good luck, what a blessing if it is!!

saffy - dont worry - ive got an 'F' in health kick too!! Just aint workin for me!

Mindhugs - oh love, im sorry to hear your having a tuff time! Look after yourself and we are all here for you xx

Alice, Porsche, Mildez and anyone ive forgotten ?? :hello:

AFM - Well AF arrived this morning - at least the b*tch is punctual! Im off to info evening tonight with DH for MelbIVF - looking forward to it! My doc is speaking so will be good to hear what he has to say!

Hope you all get thru another day OK, take care my loves xx

T-Hopes - Ahh that totaly sucks. At least your not waiting and wondering if, when and why? lol Good luck at the info night. I never went to one but I would have liked to. Ah well bit late now hehe.

Mindhugs - What a terrible situation to be in. How terrified and upset you must be. My heart goes out to you and your DH. Have they offered a D&C?

Hi ladies,

Thank you all for you loving words, support and prayers, it means so much to know you are all here for me.

The d & c was fair bit longer than last time so I'm struggling a bit from the anesthetic, fairly sore too so I didn't get much sleep and had to sleep propped up. My lovely housemate was there for me the whole day and kept my spirits up and let me cry when I needed to, she is such a lovely friend. My mum has also flown down to look after me which is nice though she does not handle my tears so well.
I hope to see FS early next week. He'd already planned to send bub for genetic tests before I even brought it up. Donor daddy and I have spoken and depending on answers from FS I think we will try IVF just till the end of the year. We are already over our threshold so we will only be out of pocket about $1000 each time. I feel it may give us answers as to why our bubs are failing and even if it does not result in a forever baby I will at least be able to finish this journey feeling we gave it every possible shot and a fresh start for the New Year.

Hugs to all of you until I'm up to more.