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:rofl: to all the poo poo talk- exactly the distraction I needed :)
Joeve- I have NFI about cervical mucous, mine seems to be all over the place all the time....
I hope someone pops in with some answers :hug:
On another note-
Do you guys share your IVF journeys with anyone IRL?
I'm feeling quite isolated at the moment- nobody close to me seems to understand.
I don't know anyone IRL, who has experienced IVF.
I just feel so lonely- and I haven't even started yet.
Is this normal?
I didn't share apart from 1 person :)
I created a blog (which is linked in my sig below) and it helped to get some stuff out that was going around in my head.
Hugs Emma. I told only my very close g/f about our cycle/s as I have always shared my TTC journey with them. I guess the ones (there were 2) that actually did IVF were the ones that truly understood what I was going through. It would make it really hard not to have anyone IRL going though the same invasive treatment to share your journey with. Bellybelly has also been so good to me, all the ladies here truly understand the whole process and the madness!
Joeve, you are the poo killer! lol. Now, serious hat on, no visible c/m for me (come to think of it, in the last few cycles I have had the stretchy egg white c/m quite early on in the cycle AND not much of it at that :dunno:) and I'm not sure on the pessary thing.....are you doing a cycle now? Mine used to come out towards the end of the course......
I too have good ovarian reserve and it hasnt helped me.
Oh my goodness, you girls are hillarious. Brought me much needed smiles and laughter.
Emma - apart from DH no one IRL knows about my IVF journey. I decided that this journey was hard enough that I couldn't cope with everyone else getting invested in my cycles, asking lots of questions or getting upset when another cycle failed. It's hard enough for me and DH to deal with together. I didn't need anymore pressure. Il know that others feel differently and have found real support in their friends and family. So I guess it's each to their own.
But yes this journey can be extremely lonely sometimes. Particularly when other friends and family are having incredibly different experiences of life, family and fertility. This thread and these girls here are my source of sanity. I couldn't get through this all sometimes without them. Everyone here just gets it. Understands what is like to have ssuch invasice procedures so frequently, to experience the highs of hopes, and the lows of devastation.
Joeve - as for CM - I have no idea. I've never properly monitored changes etc. For me this journey seems more about what science can do for me rather than what my body can do for itself (seeing as my body seems to suck at this whole fertility thing - hehehe).
Emma, I told my BF but she was aware of how long we were TTC and has always been very supportive. I also told my Mum who on the other hand is full of questions and always what's to know what's happening. I do find is easier now that it's out in the open though.
AFM- still no sign at all of AF, POAS this morning and what a surprise BFN. We also just realized that DH is away on the weekend so now I need AF to stay away until at least Wednesday or I am going to have to jab myself and I don't know that I can do that, freaking out ever so slightly.
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Come on to your AF. My DH did my injections too except I had to do my trigger myself because he was at work. You can do it :) it's amazing how we do it when we have to!
3 June April 2012
Waiting for EPU/O/IUI/FET or just something to happen!
Joeve -
Jane - CD2
myturn - CD5 Stim Down Reg
Ree*Ree - CD5 FET
PlanetSashet - CD12 Stim
Andie78 - CD15 FET
Mrs P - CD17 FET
Miss B - CD20 Natural
Mrs Mac - CD42
Waiting for Transfer
Hanging out in the TWW (stalk them here:https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...180508-18.html
Bee27 - CD32 10dpt 1 x day5 embryo BT 06.06.12
Blossom73 - 8 day post transfer
Vic261 - CD24 6 dpt 1 x day 5 embryo BT 12.06.12
Emma - I did tell a couple of people at the beginning when I was doing a cycle, but like someone else said - it's just too hard to disappoint them when it fails - having said that most recently I have started telling more people that we have been "trying for 2 1/2 years" and it has been really good to let people know that this is the terrible journey I am going on. I don't always say we are doing IVF, although if someone asks I would say yes.
It's just got too hard and lonesome to be doing this alone. I don't want to talk about all the details in fact, I have purposely told my mum and my best friend that we are having a break... to lose weight.... because they ask questions and I don't want everyone to know all the ins and outs... but I can't cope feeling like I have to be strong for people all the time, and it's really hard.
Actually my psychologist made a good point last time I saw her - I need people to look after me at the moment. I have spent so much of my life caring and looking after everyone else - being the "good listener" the one who always has an answer and understands from everyone elses point of view - and I can't do it at the moment.
I told my sister in law last week - and she was absolutely beautiful, she leant over when I was crying, and just hugged and hugged me. I am tearing up just thinking about it. I just need people to care, and it does feel like my mum and BF, whom I DID tell originally, aren't there for me at the moment - probably cause they don't know what to do. But the best thing one of my other friends who know does - is every couple of months she emails or texts me saying "just wanted to tell you I was thinking about you and available if you need to chat... or not... either way is okay. I hope you are okay"
It's like she puts no pressure on me, but lets me know that she is thinking about what is going on.
think I went off on a tangent... again!!
as for CM..... when doing a stim - I can't tell any difference because crinone gets in the way.... so glad to have pregnyl next time! it holds off AF for a longer... so I don't know if it's a BFN as early - but sticking some crap up my clacker every day sucks....
Can I ask everyone a delicate question?
How many cycles are you willing and able to do before you'd stop IVF?
(this is obviously assuming that it wasn't working for you, so just hypothetical)
To put it another way, what is your cut off? The maximum number of cycles you are willing to do???
N2L.... TBH, I don't know :( I think I have a time frame in my head rather than a number of cycles.... I think we will keep going for another 5 years.... but that's an awful lot of cycles.....
I know that DH keeps saying, we will just keep going until it happens... lets hope I'm not one of the ones it never happens for.
:hug:
N2L- mine is more about the money, rather than the cycles (as horrible as that sounds)
Although, being a newby- that might change.
We have a set amount of money saved up, and when that runs out- we will re-evaluate.
If this was mine or DH's first biological child- I would move heaven and earth and have no 'cut off'
I'm also worried about the emotional impact this journey is having of our relationship.
I know my DH will tell me when he's had 'enough', I'm worried that I won't have had 'enough' by then :(
I hope I haven't offended anyone.
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Hi N2L, Such an impossible questions that when you start this journey you hope you will never have to answer. I think when I started I naively said, oh 4 cycles, but now that I am up to my 3rd already there is no way I am ready to stop at 4. Now on this ride I'm not sure how I'll manage to ever get off. We have 6 bubsicles at the moment - so once all those frosties are gone then I guess - well I don't know - would need to re-evaluate then.
Thanks for adding me to the list Vic, you're a gem :) Hope you're able to relax a little bit more in this current cycle. GL hunni xx
n2l, I also think like Emma in terms of the emotional impact the IVF has on DF and I. To be quite honest, I could go a few more cycles (like maybe 2 or 3 but probably not many more, I really have to think about my age) but DF has already said that after this cycle coming up, we will re evaluate everything if does't work. I don't think he's got it in him like me to keep on going. Plus it makes it that much harder that he's 'afraid' of the cycles now as we had that chromosomal issue with the last pg, whereas in the past he thought we were invincible, now he knows that we're not. But I also believe that even if you have a number of cycles in your head that you're prepared to do, the emotional impact is harder to foresee.
N2L - I agree with the others, it's a hard question to answer.
In our case, my answer now is different to what it was before we were blessed with DD. DH and I had a discussion about what we would do if we didn't have kids, right before the TF that we got pg with DD from. We said we would sell our large family-friendly house in the burbs and move to an awesome city apartment, and do lots of overseas travel. In fact, if that TF hadn't worked we were going to take 15K from our mortgage and blow it on a 3 week euro trip over NYE etc. We had everything planned out, down to the flights we would book and hotels etc as pretty much as soon as we got our BT result we needed to book the trip. And we got a BFP. So, no trip. I think I had this mentality of let's make these plans and then hopefully we will have to cancel them.
Anyway, I digress. For us we were lucky that the money wasn't (at that stage) an issue - not that we're loaded but we were able to afford the 2 stim cycles we did and the transfers. Mind you it costs more these days. But I really really struggled with the stim cycles, I have a blood clotting disorder which meant I also needed clexane shots daily, which means you bruise more easily, and as someone who already bruised easily - well, my poor body got a thrashing. I also found it hard because my lining took ages to prep, I ended up on estrogen patches (on my butt!) as well as crinone and all the trimmings ha ha. Every time I had a scan it wasn't good, taking forever and infact during the stims I never got great hauls of eggs - 1st cycle only got 2 embies, 2nd cycle we got 7 embies. I'm not sure at what point we would have decided to stop, but I'm one of those people who truly believes if something was meant to be, then it's meant to be. So maybe we would have stopped after a few years (more than it took, itms)...
This time around I am not filled with the desperation I was the first time. Also we started with 6 frosties so rather than stims it's been easier on my body. Still very tough on the mind of course. DH and I haven't discussed how long we will try this time, perhaps we both naively assume it will work 'soon' because it worked 'before'. But, with 5 frosties now left, maybe if they run out and we have to do a stim... well I could do one stim for sure, maybe 2, but beyond that i don't know.
Everyone is different, in different situations etc and there's so many factors to weight in.
Emma it's totally normal hun. When TTC #1 we told close friends and family. I guess we thought we needed the support network etc. And yeah, it was great, but like others have said, it also sucked majorly to have to relay bad news. Repeatedly.:
So this time around we haven't told anyone, with the exception of my direct manager at work (to enable me to have flexibility/understanding when required, and she is about to start IVF to TTC #1 and I am the only one she's told about it. Plus we're good friends) and my acupuncturist (ha ha!) and a good friend in the UK (who won't tell anyone else). It's tricker because there may be times when I need to be at the clinic but need DD to be somewhere else but so far we are managing. And dealing with a failed FET was definitely easier without sharing the news with every man and his dog (well - you know what I mean!).
BB is where I get my virtual support network - everyone here is so amazing and honestly I don't know how I would stay (fairly) sane without these girls :)
N2L my cut off is also to do with funds, DH and I agree that we will continue as long as we have the money to do so. I think if we were not trying for our first we may feel a little different (or not), but for now we have the funds and I am still kinda young so I all full steam ahead for now. I do sometime feel that it is taking over our life though.
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4 June April 2012
Waiting for EPU/O/IUI/FET or just something to happen!
Joeve -
Jane - CD3
myturn - CD6 Stim Down Reg
Ree*Ree - CD6 FET
PlanetSashet - CD13 Stim
Andie78 - CD16 FET
Mrs P - CD18 FET
Miss B - CD21 Natural
Mrs Mac - CD43
Waiting for Transfer
Hanging out in the TWW (stalk them here:https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...180508-20.html
Bee27 - CD33 11dpt 1 x day5 embryo BT 06.06.12
Blossom73 - 9 day post transfer
Vic261 - CD25 7 dpt 1 x day 5 embryo BT 12.06.12