LTTTC & Assisted Conception ~ January 2006 #2

Hi all!!

Jen On the subject of tunnel vision, it's hard hard hard! As you can see, I have only had two goes at this. One being a frozen so I don't really count that one, and I can safely say that at time, I have come close to losing my mind. I know deep down that I am not one of these women who will battle on into the tens of attempts, I probably won't even make it 5 goes myself. I have to admire the resolve and inner strength of those who keep going and going. wqho knows when the right time to stop is. When is it the time to say, " I have to make a life for myself and my husband/partner for better or worse now". I so wich you good luck on your journey. Eventually I found that I didn't even think about the injections, I just did them until I was given an instruction to do something else. After ET, that's when I go mad. The TWW. Wondering if getting up to make a cup of tea will dislodge them and stop you getting pregnant. All of that is madness of course. I forget which lady it is worying about the antibiotics, that is a perfect example of what I mean. WE worry about simple things impeding our fertility and pregnancy success, but women get pregnant when they are addicted to heroine for Gods sake and they don't give a damn. We woryy about sex positions, when girls get pregnant standing up!! :soapbox:

(calm down) I believe you have to accept that as soon as you embark on this, there's going to be challenge after challenge, whether it is injections or TWW or whatever. Thankfully you can know that you aren't alone. Lots of couples go through this and make to the other side and god willing you will to with a baby in your arms [-o<

Skye I laughed when I read your post. I did the same thing, I refused to move off the table after transfer because I was so worried about my embryos falling out!!! Daft isn't it, but understandable. I can't give you any advice about the 2WW, because I'm do awful at it myself. However, I know that women who have relaxing reflexology and acupuncture do really well. Good luck


As for me still bleeding from hell and waiting to have HSG and to start on my journey again :cry:

Shez: great news about the frosties! Keeping my fingers crossed for you. :crossfingers:

Skye: that's wonderful that you've got 3 quality embies. Here's to the first one doing it's thing. :bluestick: Actually I remember not wanting to go to the loo for ages after my ET! Eventually I was busting so badly I had no choice! LOL! And I think one of the worst parts of AC is any kind of waiting!

Suzy: congrats on the 11 eggs and try not to worry about the antibiotics. Good luck. :flower:

Marg

Skye - Know what you mean about standing. You feel very strange, as if what the doctors saying can't possibly be true. My dr told me that the embryo is like a spec of sand in a jam sandwich (the sandwich is the uterus) on its side. That made me feel a lot better.

Sushee - thanks for that. What a comfort to know that.

Mrs Maloo - much of my time is spent trying not to get obsessed by treatment. I always thought I didn't want to be one of those women who's life was taken over by treatment, but its hard not to be. One of the good things for us is that hardly anyone knows, so with our friends, life goes on as normal

Thats all for me. Still find it difficult to keep up with people on this board.

Am waiting for that dreaded phone call.

Suzy

Sararms,

as someone who went through 8 cycles to finally fall pg, what I can say about it is when you start, you honestly don't think you'll be able to go that long. But with every cycle that fails, you look back at how much you've already invested, how much having a baby means to you, and how much more you can cope with, and you make your decision then whether to keep going. Trust me, it's as hard, if not harder, to give up your dreams of a baby as it is to keep going. Both take strength, and I honestly believe that anyone who TTC for years on end without success develops that strength whether they believe it of themselves or not.

I have heaps of admiration for the LTACers, the ones who've been on Assisted Conception for over 12 months. It's true that AC makes you focus so much on conceiving, The needles and the TWW and the ops all take over your life. I remember once I fell, it seemed like suddenly my life was so empty without all the IVF rituals! But rather than fight it (you can't anyway) accept it when you're in it, and enjoy any breaks you get in between. It's okay to obsess! We all do it!

love
sushee

Hey Sushee so true! When is enough, enough who knows? When the time for you is right I guess. I had someone ask me the other day if DH & I have set a limit on how long we will do IVF for. Really got me thinking ykwim.

Suzy~ I have been hanging out to see how your eggs are going. There is waiting everywhere you turn with AC isn't there :rolleyes:

Marg~ I am so glad you posted that because I was scared to go to the toilet after as well! I thought for sure it would just all come out :oops: I keep having to tell myself just to act normal, even if that means lugging a tantruming 2 yr old out after the Wiggles concert has ended :rolleyes:

Good luck with your IUI Jen! I [-o< you get that BFP first time around!

Skye,

out of our 11, one was imature and discarded, two fertilized abnormaly, four fertilized normally and the other four failed to fertilized. The % fertilized is considerably less than last time, but about the same as our first succesful IVF ( but then we had 24 eggs, and ten embies).

The clinic want to try and grow to blast stage. I'm quite a bit worried about that and having none left, but also feel that they are only in the business of making me pregnant and have no other ulterior motive. Each time we have done ivf before we have done blast culture. #1, we had three blasts and #2 we had one immature one.

I am terrified of having nothing to transfer. They told me this morning that they like to know which the "lead" embryo is, so that I have the best chance. We are still undecided whether to transfer two or one. I really don't want to have twins (mainly because of a history of quite severe PND with my ds), but equally I don't want to keep having IVF. Both dh and I would rather have twins than nothing.

Suzy

suzy,

if you're worried about not making it to transfer, it is well worth you calling your clinic and asking that you are kept in the loop re the progress of your embryos. If by Day 3, you don't have as many as you'd be comfortable with going to blast, see if you will be able to opt to have the best embryos transferred at that stage, perhaps with assisted hatching.

This way you get to transfer at least, and if they're going to make it, they'll just as likely make it inside your tum than in a petri dish. Plus the stress of worrying about whethr you're going to lose them all will be taken away.

Just a thought.

love
sushee

Oh Suzy I am so sorry you feel worried about your eggs. I guess by going to blast they are trying to give you the best of the bunch iykwim? I agree totally with Sushee though, if you are feeling uncomfortable about this call them. Maybe see what stage they are at by Day 3. If you have a good number dividing well you may feel better about it all.

The 1 vs 2 emby is a hard one huh! I desperately wanted to have 2 put back but my Dr was quite firm on only putting one back.

I am thinking of you hon. Please keep me up to date on how you are travelling :flower:

You guys have had me in tears with your responses – and I don’t mean bad tears – thank you for helping me to feel normal and for making me understand the challenges that my husband and I are yet to face.

sarsarm – your comment (sorry I don't know how to quote other messages)

I have to admire the resolve and inner strength of those who keep going and going. wqho knows when the right time to stop is. When is it the time to say, " I have to make a life for myself and my husband/partner for better or worse now".

will stay with me for a long time – while I try to remain positive when I am absolutely honest with myself this is the issue that crushes my positivity – and I know I am not alone in that – and I agree with you – those who keep going and going and who are able to come to a decision about when the right time to stop/continue is have my utmost admiration.

Is the HSG the test where they use dye to check your tubes? If it is I had one of those in December and while I certainly wouldn’t eagerly look forward to having another one, it wasn’t too uncomfortable – all the best with it – and :luck: for positive results

skyelar – I’m going to IVF Aust - if anyone has any experience with them I would love to hear it – good, bad, indifferent – I know no different than this clinic so am a bit naïve to what goes on at other places

A query for those of you who are/have injected Puregon – did you experience any symptoms? Just today I have been experiencing what to me feels like slight period pain – of course I managed to convince myself that I must be ovulating which would totally bust this cycle – but I have calmed down those mind meanderings and will just talk to the nurses tomorrow when I go for my Day 9 blood test – would love to hear any of your experiences though.

What a bunch of strong women I have managed to stumble upon – still counting my lucky stars :D Best of luck for all wherever you may be in your cycles.

Jen

:lovebb:

Jen,

the chances of you ovulating spontaneously while on Lucrin/synarel is next to none, so don't worry. What you're likely feeling is the start of your follies getting to a size where they're going to start being uncomfortable. Some, like *Tam* carried around 17 mature eggs and don't feel a thing, while I've felt full and achy with only 6 eggs. You also variously feel moody, teary. bloated, uncomfortable etc on Puregon as your E2 (oestrogen) levels are climbing in ways your body hasn't experienced before. Women only usually mature 1 egg at a time, and here we are producing approx 10 times that amount, with all the corresponding hormones that come with it. No wonder we get all sorts of funny aches and pains!

Suzy, a lot of clinics are reluctant to transfer 2 blasts simply because of the chance of twins. If you've had success with IVF before (I have to admit to not being great with remembering people's backgrounds - sorry :oops: ) then it's often assumed that you will only need to transfer 1 embryo at a time. Perhaps this decision being taken out of your hands may be a relief, but if you feel strongly about 2 embryos, make a case for it with your FS and see how you go! Though I've definitely found that often you'd have to obtain this agreement with your FS prior to your cycle even starting, or the clinic won't have it in their notes, and often won't let it go ahead.

love
sushee

My clinic only allows 1 blast at a time. I'm happy with that (have to say 99% of the time) as I have DD & have technically had success on FET (EP & m/c) & I feel realistic that it'd be too hard with twins ( but of course would deal with it if it did happen)

Mind you, on the other hand, I have 3 frozen bubba left & since I seem to have a 50% thaw rate on my last 2 FETs I wondered if they could just thaw all three, probably to get 1 or 2.

Jen, yes I was a lucky one who stimmed well with not many symptoms. Actually I think I have been good with all my AC drugs & not been affected too much. I am currently on the BCP, hoping to bring on AF, & I think this has affected me the most. I haven't been on the BCP for over 7 years! Forgot what it was like.

Good luck to the TWWs
Loved to hear everyones thought on when is enough enough.

Take care & hope to be joining in the action again by next week :crossfingers:

[-o< I'm hoping for you too Tam, my sweet!

Just wanted to add that I went into this thinking I'd just give IVF one go! I've now been through two cycles, unsuccessfully, and am no way ready to stop just yet. Having said that I have no idea how many I'm willing to have - I guess I'll know when the time comes. What having two attempts has done is make me realise just how much I really want this. So I can certainly understand women who go through multiple IVF attempts.

And I agree with you Tam - out of all the IVF drugs, the one that I hate the most is the BCP! I hadn't been on it for 7 years prior to starting IVF and I don't know whether it just doesn't agree with me now I'm older - or whether I just didn't notice the side-effects as much when I was younger (or didn't really have anything to compare it to back then). If I could skip that step I'd be over the moon!

Marg

I think my clinic only transfered 2 because I was a) older - and b)only had 2 left . My thaw rate was poor only got 2 out of 6 on #1&2 FET -never got to #2 nothing survived to transfer.

They have signs on wall everywhere recommending one embie and first 2 transfers did try to talk us out of 2 - but not on our last transfer they never said anything.

Tam - [-o< for you too

Skye -fingers crossed your sticky bubba only takes one go.

Suzy - goodluck on whatever you decide. Wishing you all the best - grow embies grow !

with hope
TRish

Hi all you wonderful people...I don't post much but I do check up and see what's going on with everyone pretty much every day... Well I'm in the dreaded TWW.....2nd round of puregon/pregnyl cycle (hoping for natural conception). Blood test due 28th Jan...to be or not to be pregnant. I'm currently 6 DPO and feel nothing.....last time the meds mucked me around so much I could have sworn I was pregnant, only to find out on Boxing Day (of all days) that I wasn't. DH and I have decided if this doesn't work, we do one more round of puregon and then have an appt with our doc to discuss IVF....seems like such a big step.... Anyone else have unexplained infertility and feel like, well maybe there's a very good reason you can't conceive and perhaps we shouldn't be doing this???? I just don't know. When we started this TTC #2 journey some 20mths ago now, we swore we'd never consider medical intervention, and now my life revolves around injections, appointments and blood tests.

Sorry for the long whinge....it is so sad for me seeing so many mums of 2, 3, 4 children, and I just want one more, but it hasn't happened.....grrrrr so frustrating.... thanks for letting me vent.

Hi ladies.. I hope everyone is doing ok.. sorry i have taken a little bit of time out lately... but i still love to pop in on your guys...

Well I have just heard the most wonderful news about one of my very good friends. Trish and her DH had been trying unsuccesfully for 6 years for a baby. Clomid x8 rounds BFN, 2 rounds of IVF with nil success, endo, PCOS and loop cone biospy really made Trishs chances of a natural conception minimal. Trish and I have both been taking herbs Trish from Sharkeys and myself from Fertile Mind and Body. Trish started taking hers in October last year and I have been taking mine for about 3 weeks.

I was chatting with her on the phone yesterday and we were comparing 'herb notes' and commenting on how wonderful we both feel on them. Trish no longer has her headaches and I miraculously had a period with NO pain. Trish stated that although she loved the herbs they had put her cycle out of whack and she hadn't had a period since November. I asked her if she thought that by some miracle she could be 'up the duff'... she laughed and said 'oh good one'

Today she calls me.... I poas... I'm freakin pregnant!!!!!! We were both crying so much and laughing together.... we just can't believe it.. her doctor rushed her beta HCG through this morning and it is huge, she also had an u/s this arvo and all is well... they think she is about 7-8 weeks!!!!!

Girls, I was such a big sceptic of herbs, energetic healing and all the parafanalia that went with it... however in the last week i have had some major life changing experiences.. and I can't explain them!!!! Trish's success was just the icing on the cake!!!!

Take care and believe in your heart and soul

Love and hugs


Leis xxx
_________________

Janee,

when did I not think that maybe it wasn't meant to be? We tried TTC for 2 and a 1/2 years after a tubal ligation reversal without luck, then I found out my tubes were scarred over and I couldn't conceive naturally, then we had 7 unsuccessful IVF cycles.....all the time I was thinking maybe this is the way it's supposed to be, maybe DH and I were not meant to have a child together (I have 3 from a previous marriage, all concieved naturally)

I thought perhaps I wasn't going to ever fall because of the abortions I had when I was younger, because I tied my tubes when I was 26, that I just didn't deserve it. Perhaps all the problems we had must mean we just weren't meant to be parents again?

But I now believe there isn't a rhyme or reason, and just because you're battling infertility doesn't mean you aren't meant to have children. Or my little'un sure wouldn't be here.

love
sushee

PS man, I've been posting in here a lot today! Lol!

** SuziQ swanning in **

Hi girls, this is a r-e-a-l quickie...

Mrs Maloo wrote:

:

---

I’m going to IVF Aust - if anyone has any experience with them I would love to hear it – good, bad, indifferent – I know no different than this clinic so am a bit naïve to what goes on at other places

---

I was with IVFA (North - Central Coast clinic). I found Dr Quinn great - always plenty of time to explain and answer my copious questions. He was never against listening to me when I suggested things I read/heard about here. He was also very broadminded about my singledom and very honest about the real odds for me at 42-43 years of age. The only downside for me was them only having one EPU day per week here on the CC. All that really meant though was that I had to travel to Sydney. I'm assuming they do EPU's at least five days a week if you're in Sydney? That way, they're taking your eggs when they're ready - not when it suits the doctors! I worried after my first EPU that I'd been left to overcook to fit in with their schedule. Price-wise they're pretty good too. I only ended up being around $1000 out of pocket for ICSI using donor sperm (costs $105 for the little wrigglers).
Hope that helps.
*Tam* - good to see you getting ready to rock 'n' roll again.
So much for being a quickie...

** SuziQ swanning back out again **