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Moonflower darling i am totally fine I promise!!!:D
I had the greatest day with DH on our anniversary, we had plenty of chats and huggs, was so nice.
Congrats on your anniversary too FGS!!!:dance:
Moonflower I can;t bebeive it is BT time for you tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG!!! As slow as it has gone.....that went fast!!:lol:
I am praying that you get your BFP tomorrow MF, it wil totally make my day!
My bt is on Friday. The reson I used a HPT the other day, is that my FS told me that if my little blasty stuck, it would show by day 7/8. So that is why I got down. But Moonflower i promise promise promise I'm ok XXX Ofcourse I got let down, but gorgeouse DH was therre to pick me up so I could dust myself off!!!!
Girls, good luck, I hope we all get a great result out of all of this, MF I have a good feeling about tomorrow!!XX
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Okay. Phew! Insert ENORMOUS sigh of relief here!
Okay, so very glad to hear that you are doing good and I'm really pleased that you and DH are do so well. And that you had a great anniversary. Excellent news! :)
Last night I was telling my DH about how I was feeling nervous etc etc and mid sentence, possibly even mid word he shoved his tee shirt (he was helping fold clothes) in my face and said "What's this stain?" I was aghast and clearly the look on my face showed it because then he put the shirt down and said "don't worry about it". But of course, it was much too late. Damage done and I didn't talk to him about it anymore. In fact, it took me an hour to say anything to him at all. Because that's how long it took him to apologise. *sigh*
Thanks for your positive thoughts and wishes for me. I really want this to work for us all too. :)
MF xx
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Just popping in to wish MF all the best for tomorrow
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Thanks so much Loula! I really appreciate your thoughts and wishes. Especially at this moment because.....
After nothing since Friday, I've been having cramps again today, getting worse each hour. I thought nothing about it. Nor did I think much about the fact that my nipples are hurting like hell. About an hour ago, I had to do my pessarie thing. When I removed the stick, I noticed blood on it. Now I'm beside myself. I've cried a whole lot and DH was next to me not knowing what to do because he too, is upset. I've chastised myself for being +ve and having happy thoughts. If only I hadn't let myself get too caught up in PUPO. :crying:
Oh, I know it ain't over yet ladies. But it sure does feel like it is. I know other women have had bleeding / spotting before their BT and they got a +ve result but I don't recall any of them saying the cramping returned too. :dunno:
I'm so sorry to be so down. Especially to you MC. But I've been thinking about you loads today and I'm wondering if you're getting bad cramps because you always have had bad menstrual cramps? I don't know. It was just a thought.
FGS, been thinking of you too. Hoping you're having a wonderful day with DH. If you're both up to it, tell me something happy about yourselves.
I know that I may very well have had a brain snap for nothing. Part of me is still hoping....
MF xx
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Oh MF! I'm so sorry that you're feeling sad... Not all hope is lost! Honestly - bleeding or a bit of spotting is really quite common/normal - it's only because you inserted something white up 'there' that you saw it - it could be a bit of implantation bleeding working it's way out? Another VALID reason could be that the pessary scratched you- afterall, you've been poking a hard plastic thingy up there for the last two weeks! I know it feels like everything is mounting up against you - but like you told MC - 'it ain't over til the fat lady sings' and... I, like you, am also overweight - and lemme assure you -I am NOT singing!
MC- ditto all that to you too!
I refuse to believe it's over for either of you! Flat out don't beleive it - if it is - what hope do I have?!
DH and I had a lovely day! We had breakfast this morning and went for a wander around... Then had dinner tonight at one of our fave restaraunts- was a lovely relaxing day!
I'm still not feeling anything really! Occassionally twinges - but that feels like ovaries! Weird! One thing I noticed tonight is that my bbs are GINORMOUS! I guess it's all the hormones (also on estrogen patch) but geeeez! If they weren't so sore it might be fun!
Praying for you both
L xx
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Moonflower honey please don't panic.
The small amnt of blood on the pessary could be just a little scratch like FGS said. It could be a small amnt of spotting but all of this is normal.
I get cramping, as you know, all of the time, I can't begin to explain how strong and twingy they are, but I do also suffer from nasty AF pain every cycle.
Please understand that the excitement and stress of tomorrow can play games with you body, you need to try get some rest.
Darling don't be disheartened by this, you have come so far with such a positive outlook . Remember when we first met? Look how far you have come! You should be so so proud of yourself Moonflower, I'm proud of you X
Take it easy, I know easier said than done, but get some rest, big day tomorrow XXX
I will be here waiting for your news XXX
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Ladies, you’re both as sweet as honey. Thanks for cheering me up. I did manage to get it together last night and prayed a whole lot for the peace and strength to get through this. And I know that everything you’re both saying is right. And it ain’t over till later this afternoon. I am still hopeful that I will have good news to share with you both. :)
I was doing great until the nurse (no fault of hers) said “How are you going? Any bleeding?” I said yes, last night and then she was offering condolences which was very nice of her but it made me tear up. Then she said “Did we get any frozen embryos?” And that made me cry! I could only shake my head. Poor nurse, she apologised and it took me a couple of minutes to regain my composure. She was very lovely and didn’t for one second treat me like just another woman who has lost her mind! ;)
I told her I wanted to ring the clinic myself this afternoon as I won’t be able to take the call at work. But God is working on me and I am now feeling strong enough to just take the call when it comes. But of course, they won’t call because I told them not too! Ha! :doh:
But listen to me prattle on. It’s not all about me!
FGS, happy to hear you had a good day. Don’t you let me get you down. You are so lucky that you don’t have the cramps! I’m jealous and can only imagine MC is even more so! And it’s hilarious that your bbs are bigger but sore so there won’t be any fun for your poor DH – or you for that matter. Hee hee hee…. (we’re in the same boat!)
MC, hope you are doing well. I do remember when first we met. I was an angry, crazy, bitter old crone! I’m sure as hell not going to go back to being like that! From now on, I shall use my powers for good instead of evil! Thanks for what you said too. I am pretty pleased with how far I’ve come in such a short time. It helps when you have loads of good support.
Thank you both again. You’ve given me the boost I needed, once more. You’re wonderful! And my DH and I are still praying for you.
MF xx
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Sweetheart I am so glad you are feeling better thismorning, I will be praying for you ALL day, fingers crossed you have some exciting news to share with us.
I will check back thisafternoon XXX
FGS, I hope you are well, and taking it easy XXX
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Hi ladies.....is it ok if I come and join your cozy little group??
Well I had an apparently beautiful looking 4 cell 2 day embryo transferred at midday. Got to see it on the screen which was pretty cool. But am I the only person who's FS doesn't use an ultrasound during transfer? This is my 3rd and I've never seen it when it gets squirted in? Because they decided at the last minute to do it today I didn't get to have my before acupuncture appointment but he did manage to squeeze me in for my after one.......HEAVEN. Am feeling pretty good now and just trying to forget about the HORRENDOUS week I have had so far and muster all the positive energy I can for my lone little emby.
MF - I am so :pray: for good news for you today. I have everything x'd for you!!
MC - Please don't give up yet, I know that our hearts have ways of trying to protect themselves but like everyone has been saying.....it's not over til it's over. :hug:
FGS - Hope you are keeping your sanity and staying positive. Big :hug:'s for you too.
Lots of :pink-babydust: & :stickyvibesboy: for all of us. Lets start 2010 off with a bang!
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Hey Ladies...
MOONFLOWER - How are you doing hun? did you call the FS?? I reaaaaally hope and pray that everything went smoothly and that you haven't posted because youre still elated from your BFP... :pray: Let us know when you're ready... either way, I know you're an amazing, strong woman... xxx
MURRAYCOD - How you doin? How are those cramps? Hopefully they've subsided... a few days til your BT too huh?
WELCOME BJ :) - congrats on your gorgeous little embie! My FS specifically said that the only reason they use the ultrasound is so *we* can see it.. the doctor doesn't use it at all... he goes by 'feel' - lol. It's cool to see... but it's more of an emotional thing - not like there's any fireworks or anything! Fx for you... You're only a couple of days behind me.
I kind of feel selfish for doing an "AFM" today... I am hanging out to hear from MF...
L x
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BJ81 sticky sticky glue vibes to you woohoo!!!!!
Oh I hope you have a nice relaxing and happy couple of weeks, take care honey, and ofcourse you can join in on the madness anticipation with us!!! More the merrier!!!
Yeah I have the same FS as FGS, he didn't look at the ultrasound, the screen was pointed around for me XXX
FGS, hopefully your little blasty has found a nice place to burry in for the long haul now !!! Such an exciting few days, I hope the rest goes nice and happy and quick for you.
My cramping still here honey XXX But it's all good my friend XX
Moonflower, I was stressing out because I logged on so late, I was scared I was going to miss some great news!!! But thank god I have not missed you yet (sigh), Geez I hope you are buisy celebrating, you deserve nothing but the best babe, you have been so so so strong. XXXXX
Will pop by again later on MF... XXXXX
No AFM today, just wana be here for Moonflower X
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Hi there BJ81! So glad you're in the pen! ;) I hope your stay here is relatively uneventful and easy going. I shall keep you and your embie in my prayers along with the other two lovely ladies. My FS didn't use ultrasound to put the embies back either.
FGS & MC, glad to see you are both doing well today. I want to thank you both again so very much for you well wishes, your prayers and making me feel better or have a laugh at exactly the right moment. I got my result today. All hope is lost. My grief is overwhelming. DH is worried to cry as he thinks he may not stop.
I'm going to keep on praying for you three and I hope you wonderful ladies don't mind, I'll pop back in intermitently over the next couple of weeks to check on you and see if I can be of any use. Not sure that I'll be any good for the next day or two though. But MC, I know you're up on Friday. I want good news to drag me out of my funk. (That's an instruction, not a request!) ;)
Thanks again MC and FGS. You don't know how much your encouragement and support have meant to me over the past two weeks.
Love
MF xx
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Dear Moonflower so sorry to hear that this has not been your month. Take time to cry vent etc whatever gets you through it and tell DH its just as important for him too. I know you will be strong and dust yourself off when your ready to embark on your dream once again.
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Moonflower... I am so, so, sooooo sorry! I feel incredibly sad for you... I really hope that you can find some comfort and peace in the coming days... My DH and both shed a few tears reading your post...
Take your time, but come back and see us... I'll be here for what feels like an eternity...
Now I am going to do an AFM... I'm sorry....
I just picked up my mail from my PO Box - and I found out that of my 5 remaining 'high grade' embryos - none of them were suitable for freezing. I feel so gutted... so if they weren't suitable for freezing - does that mean they stopped developing? Does that make them crap? does that make me crap? Does that mean my little bean has stopped too??? I am so confused...
:crying: It all felt too good to be true...
L x
My thoughts and prayers are with you Moonflower xx
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Oh Moonflower, I am so so sorry. Nothing that anyone can say will make it any better right now but it's so important that both you and your DH grieve properly. Scream, cry, get mad, do whatever you have to do. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel or how to get through it. It's all just time honey. I have been there twice before so although we are all different, it makes me ache inside knowing what u are going through. Please don't lose hope though.....it's all we have in this insane journey that is ivf. :comfort:
FGS that really sucks honey but obviously the little emby you have on board was a good one otherwise it wouldn't have made it to blasty and they wouldn't have transfered. I have just been through the same "what am I doing wrong" "why can't I make good numbers/quality" thing myself but it is all just a guessing game and there are no answers. Just keep your chin up and (I can't believe I am going to say this after the week I've had) but it only takes one! Hang in there!
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Moonflower my Darling, words cannot express how dissapointed and sad I feel reading your post. I am so sorry this cycle did not work out the way you wanted honey, please take as much time as you need to to greive the feelings you have built up inside right now, and I can only pray that you find strength within yourselves to have another go.
Honey you have been such an inspiration to me at picking me up when I've been down, as I had said to you earlier, i am so proud of how far you have become, from when I first met you.
Please keep in touch Moonflower, I wish you all the very best in your future journeys, and would love to share them with you, good nd bad XXX
Givfe that gorgeouse DH a big hug from all of us, and just love eachother right now babe, I am so sorry XXXXX Catherine XXXXX
FGS, I know exactly how you are feeling honey, I too had 5 nice eggies growing, to get a letter in the mail to say only 1 was good enough to freeze, so sorry, but I just pray, that you won't have to worry about that for a loooong time XXXXX Cuz the 1 inside your tummy is going to grow and grow XXXXX
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Moonflower- I shouldn't be in here yet (not till tomorrow hopefully) but I have been following your month and just wanted to say I am incredibly sorry this wasn't the month for you. I know there isn't anything I can say to make you feel better, but just wanted you to know I am so very sad for you and thinking of you and your DH.
I hope to see you back in here soon for a better month
Sharee
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Hey Moonflower - hope you're doing ok - thoughts are still with you and your DH...
Murraycod - hope you're not too anxious about tomorrow...
BJ - Hope you're relaxing and that your little embie is settling in just nicely.
AFM... ****WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYY***
Ok.. I am seriously losing the plot... when I first started this 2ww and I was reading posts from you guys MF and MC... I just didn't get why it was so bad.
I GET IT NOW... I really do... and I am over it.. going CRAZY... I just want to POAS so I KNOW it's over with - instead of wondering... why the hell does it have to be a 2ww anyway???? Thats a LONG time to have your whole rest-of-your-life on hold! I don't know how anyone can say that you just need to get on with you life as normal in the 2ww... LIES LIES LIES!!!
I was actually feeling positive and ok about the whole thing until that STUPID letter from my FS yesterday... and it happened at the WORST time... too early to POAS and today is my RDO - so I am googling all sorts of things to help me find my answer... sitting here like a crazy psycho woman stressing...
I called Repromed this morning and one of the embryologists called me back to explain what had happened. I had my little bean tferred at 4 days... she said all 6 were looking really good at 4 days and were doing exactly what they were supposed to...
She then said next time they had checked - which would have been either the next day (sunday) or Monday when they wrote the letter... 4 of them had stayed at day 4 stage and didn't develop any further - and the last one reached blastocyst stage - but was too poor quality to freeze...
I then asked her about the one they transferred... did this one just 'stop' too..? and she said "It's a real possibility - but you need to stay positive that we chose the best looking one to implant"
Not much consolation I tell you.
I am over this... sooooooo done... I don't know if I could even do this again :(
- I am 100% convinced that this is not going to happen for me - and it hurts like hell... whoever came up with PUPO anyway? aaaarrrggghhh....
I am so sorry for the negative post - hopefully MC, your BFP will turn everyones luck right around!
L
