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vent !
Hi, as the male component of a couple that's going though IVF (7 cycles already), all I can say is.....VENT !
Every failed cycle breaks my heart, but I know it breaks my wife's heart even more, so even though I can't bare to see her crying, I know its my duty as a husband to support her as much as I can.
This is the same. She might be her sister, but YOU are his WIFE ! and he needs to understand that you need to vent in order to release some of your anxiety.
On the other hand, life is unfair sometimes (I guess if you're reading this forum chances are that you feel life's been unfair to you) but you got to make the most out of it. Comparing your fortune / kids / house / car / health / etc to others will never result in anything positive.
Focus on what you want to achieve and stay positive and forget about everyone else in the planet.
Best wishes for you
cheers
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If it helps in the short term while you are feeling so fragile (not that the fragile part gets much easier) then send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them without having to actually speak at this stage. Most importantly, take care of yourself :hug:
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oh babydreamtime, it SHOULD be your time! BUT things dont always go the way we want them to which SUCKS!!! i know it doesnt really make you feel any better as it wouldnt me either BUT just think she has 3 times the poo and wee! and i personally think one healthy full term baby is something to strive for more so than 3 most likely premmies, it wasnt her choice but thats usually the case. I actully WOULDNT want triplets, too hard! and i dont think it would be an enjoyable pregnancy, too much worry and strain on the body. Also im thinking of u, i hope this is your year!
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Babydreamtime, BIG :hug:
Luckily no-one in my family or close friends have fallen pregnant (they have already had their babies) so I havent had to face the same dilemma however have had lots of people at work fall pregnant including a close work colleague whom only tried for 2 mths and is alot younger than me too. I was absolutely SHATTERED. I then had to endure everyday of her pregnancy in between my 2 operations so that I could get rid of my endo and fix my anatomy to hopefully get pregnant. Even now after she's had her baby, when she's come in with her beautiful daughter, Ive been very distant and I cant bare to hold her in fear of falling apart in front of everyone at work. I
ts so hard and I really feel for you. Its not that we are not happy for them, but its that longingness to have a baby of our own and the feeling of "when will it happen to me"
Like others have suggested, Id get your DH to call her and send your congrats and send her a card with a little note.
Take care of yourself and vent anytime! We're here to listen :D
Tania
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i am sending you hugs, hope you being strong. xxoo
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Babydreamtime .. big hug to you :hug:
I actually know what you are going through because I went through the same thing! I started trying last year and after two months, my best friend told me she ran out of pills and she fell pregnant. So ... in other words, they didn't even need to "try"!
I cried the whole night that night because even though I haven't tried for long at the time but I felt the world was so unfair!
... at the time I started thinking she is pretty, she doesn't need to go to work, her parents are so rich, they got so many houses and businesses and the worst of all, she didn't even need to try and was pregnant!
I became so bitter and I found it difficult to call and say congrats to her. I did it and she raved on the phone call on how cute the baby is in the ultrasound and how excited she was ... etc etc.
She was overseas and came back to Aus a few days ago and the first thing she did was to call me and asked when I was going to visit her and her baby who is now 3 months old. And obviously, I am still ttc at the moment so i was completely sour.
I visited them and also told her that I have been trying for a while and had no success but clearly for people who never needed to try, they would not understand what I went through and am still going through.
Echo what aramis7 said upstairs, if we start comparing these things, it's an endless game and it's never fair. So what I started telling myself is think positively! I may have been a failure in this respect but I am sure there are other things in my life that is worth me being proud of!
Anyway ... hope you will feel better and will start thinking positively ... in case we start hearing other similar stories around us again, we can't just live a sad life!
Best of luck with your journey and we hope we all walk out of this soon!
Love~~
