Working Mummies Support Group #3

Thanks wysiwyg. First day down and all survived. Grandparents looked after the kids today and have now pulled out of Monday. Very frustrating because I now need to organize something else. I don't want to be ungrateful but if you commit to something, follow through. I have a nanny coming in tomorrow. She seems awesome on the phone and only lives about 1k away. Hopefully she will work out and be available on Monday.

Missed the kids like crazy but enjoyed the work. I'm glad it will be only a week though. Now to get dh to help with the housework tonight so I can get more work done. I suppose pigs might fly one day :)

I have been contracting too long - if you have a 38 hour working week, is that 38 excluding lunch or incorporate half hour for lunch?

Depends if you are paid for lunch...and if tou get ados or nit.
Full time nursing is contracted 38hrs a week, but we work 40 hours, unpaid lunch. And then get an extra day off a roster to make up and average out the month

good luck for monday, Foss.

at my jobs, lunchbreak is paid,but you are still working while you eat,

We still work when we eat...im 'on call' for my breaks and not allowed to leave the site....but still dont get paid for it =(

Not at my work - it's a 38 hour week (HA HA HA HA HA) but that is notionally 8.24am - 5pm or 8.54am - 5.30pm MINUS 1-2pm for lunch.

Got some good news today (for me at least) contract extended until end of the term as teacher is now taking long service leave for the remainder of the term. Gives me & students continuity & I get to work them back in line re doing work in class and not expecting laptop access every lesson (limited laptops for 9 classes at the same time - yr12s & 11s get priority access).

Now just to figure out how I teach full time (including the marking), study externally one subject, and have some semblance of a family time & life....

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Got some good news today (for me at least) contract extended until end of the term as teacher is now taking long service leave for the remainder of the term. Gives me & students continuity & I get to work them back in line re doing work in class and not expecting laptop access every lesson (limited laptops for 9 classes at the same time - yr12s & 11s get priority access).

Now just to figure out how I teach full time (including the marking), study externally one subject, and have some semblance of a family time & life....

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Great news Leckert.

New job going ok, sounds like there will be the usual challenges, but is ramping up now so that is great.

Got tax and CCR back last week - which is really good timing as will tide us over while move onto the monthly pay cycle.

Oops, I've been away from here for ages again, sorry ladies.

Congrats to everyone on new jobs! Sounds like things are going quite well in here.

Foss, how did Monday go for you? How are you handling the long hours?

As for work hours and lunch, where I am we're almost all casual. So we're only paid for actual hours worked and breaks are not paid. There are a couple of guys on a salary and it works the same as my old job. Yearly salary, so you have a guaranteed pay each week. If you get everything done and have no work left you might only work 30 hours, but you get paid for 38. On the other hand (happened every week at my old job) if you still have work to do you're expected to put in whatever hours are required to complete it by deadline. You can have breaks and they're paid but then that just means you go home later.

I'm still working casual admin, 9-3 Wed & Thurs. Works out great because next year DD will be in kindy Thursday, Friday, and every second Wednesday 8:45-3:30. So I'll just switch my Wednesday to Friday. I've also started my own small business looking after pets and homes while people are away, or if they're just too busy. Slow going at the moment but I really hope for it to bring in enough income to pay down some debt quicker.

The owners/managers are on holidays for two weeks so I'm at the office alone, I'm looking forward to having a little buddy tomorrow. DD isn't well enouh for daycare so she's packed a bag of paints and toys and books and she'll be coming with me :)

I finished the project this morning teeki. It was full on but fun. I have another less intensive project starting tomorrow. I somehow managed to let myself get talked into it. I was fully intending to take a few weeks, regroup and get my head around working with the two more efficiently. How did you go with DD in the office?

How is everyone? Job here going ok - just ok the job bit, but the walking to work is still superb. We are moving house, just up the road, renting out this place and renting elsewhere, although our crazy neighbours have departed they scarred us I think about apartment living and the four of us in this little flat was just getting too much. Found somewhere way quicker than expected, and now moving a week on Friday - is still a 2 bed but has an extra living space and outdoor space (with a gate directly onto a park!). So will be a mad few weeks I think.

School still driving me batty - last week told us kids singing at assembly so had arranged to go into work late, then yesterday get a note saying Foundation will now be at the EXPO this evening but giving no details about time, and they had not previously told us we had to go or anything. This morning before school they reiterated would be tonight, but then at assembly (because someone sms'd me) they announced they were going to do it at grandparents morning tea! DD was upset again because I had promised would see her sing (because was at assembly) and then wasn't there, just like I promised I would do parent participation when at this new job and I organised to do it and then they cancelled it for the rest of term! Of course her teachers are always right and I am the big bad mum who can't do anything because am at work.

I've been surviving, just! I somehow lost a week. I'm studying as well as teaching fulltime and been sick so that hasn't helped. I thought I had another week on a uni assignment but then got to last Wednesday and realised it was due this Monday just gone. I got a little bit read for it but ended up taking Monday off school to do uni work (and not talk as I have a bit of a cough that's been playing up with teaching). Got it in in time but it's not what I'm used to putting in. I'll be happy if it passes (it's more of my undergrad level of work not my Masters level). It's crazy report writing and marking week here (2 weeks earlier than I'm used to so another crazy bit there). I've gone off at one Yr10 English class today because I could see that only 3 people attempted something on Monday's lesson when I was away (only one student actually handed up anything to mark from a comprehension test :o - NOT happy Jan). Nearly caught up on the marking - 2 classes to go by Friday with report writing due then as well. :( busy couple of days& nights coming up. Although I'm calling it quits tonight - brain has fried for the evening (and it's bedtime shortly for me).

I've just started another contract which will be a little less intense than the first big one and I'm enjoying it. It is great to be able to do the majority of it from home when the kids are asleep.

Good luck with the move wysiwyg. My sister is a teacher and she has heaps of bad parents to deal with so I get that she is somewhat defensive when parents critise but I do remind her that it is hard for a working mum to schedule everything in the first place so politely apologise (and mean it) if she changes things at the last minute and parents get exasperated. Maybe now that she is a mum, she might understand a bit more.

Fingers crossed for a good result on the assignment leckert

How is everyone? We have moved and it is great but haven't managed to let our old place yet, seems the demand is pretty low at the moment. We hadn't anticipated that as is perfect rental, and most of the time units in our block have had people queuing up. Job is OK, (still just OK :-)), the school I really dislike, but DD enjoys, life just hurtling along really. DS is desperate to go to school and bores DD's teachers every morning, I just hope he is so keen by time Jan 2017 goes around. It doesn't help he is a tall kid and very outgoing so people just assume he is going next year and keep asking him.

Mum and Dad back in a few weeks which will be great as means I can cut out some OHSC and one day of daycare till end of year.

Hi, it's so very very quiet in here. How are you all going?
I hope you've managed to let your old place by now wysiwyg.
I've got an interview coming up in a couple of days for a job I'd really like. Would also just quite like to know what the answer is if we'll be packing up and moving and me returning to work or if we'll be staying put for a while longer.

Yes the whole of BellyBelly is so dead these days, is a shame I liked this thread especially.

Hope the interview goes well nyigi

Yes we finally got tenants and that is all fine. Work is OK (but really not keen on my boss) - DD's school still drives me insane - all her OHSC staff are leaving the end of this year found out today which was a shock as they are really great.

I got offered another position back with a previous company, but I had to turn it down, wouldn't be such a good commute (nothing ever will) and more hours and pressure and contract rather than permanent but I would have enjoyed it more - I would have jumped at it pre-kids but now I just couldn't do it - I resent that a little bit. Years ago I could never understand why people stayed in jobs they didn't like just for the location and hours - but now I kind of get it, just am not at peace with it yet.

super quiet in here now - I struggle to get on computer for non-school related things (finished my uni stuff) and the BB app & other forum app thing (can't remember the name of it) haven't been friendly to me for a while so I don't check it often.
I've gotten another contract for next year - teaching Yr 10-12 class at an Aboriginal school in the Adelaide region where I taught this last term. I'm looking forward to it as I know the kids and they're mostly okay :) And it's a whole year contract which means late Jan 16 to late Jan 17 pay (very nice feeling). Just need to get through this Dec-Jan for now with minimal pay (DH subcontract work) & Centrelink payments.

Hi leckert, great to hear you've got a whole year contract next year and one you're looking forward to. Good luck getting through the next couple of months of minimal money. My husband does contracting work and while he's been doing enough work for us to get by on lately people are very late in paying him so we'll also be having a tight couple of months. Looking forward to when the money does come in though, it's kind of enforced saving :).
Interview done. No idea how it went though not really expecting anything too much from it. We'll see in a few weeks.

Oh wow just heard back from them and they are offering me the job. I've got a meeting tomorrow to discuss start date etc :)
Thanks for the well wishes wysiwyg! :).
And I really understand re the difficulties of deciding between job and location. It's hard. I've also turned down a couple of options due to location. This time I'm very lucky as the job is pretty ideal and the general location is pretty good for us. We'll be moving back to Australia so the boys will be able to see their family a little more (though all still in other states). Next step I guess is working out whereabouts exactly we're going to live in Melbourne. Good luck reaching a balance you can be at peace with!

Congratulations nyigi! That is great. (I am in Melbourne but don't know it that well apart from area live, and sometimes I wish we had researched more because we settled here without really thinking of the implications, and now would find hard to leave the area, but I suspect if we had ended up in a different area would have loved that too)

Good to hear you have something sorted Leckert, teaching is such an important job it still amazes me how complicated we seem to make it for teachers.

Kids have been away since Friday, I was sick most of weekend which was a pain and was so hot too. I was hoping to build up some time in lieu while they away so have some holidays for round Australia day but not much on at work so haven't managed that yet. Is weird in a good way getting up and going to work without having them around.

Thanks :). I don't really know Melbourne at all so will have to do some research. The job is pretty well right in the middle of the city, not sure how far out we'll end up living though. Exciting. Any tips?
Wow that would be strange not having the kids around. A shame you've been sick though. Hope you're feeling better now!

Melbourne is the best place in the entire world :D

Eastern suburbs are nice, lifestylewise. Lots of space, lots of parks, lots of services (public transport, medical facilities, libraries, etc).

I dont get email notifications of replies to threads I'm following so forget the check in a lot of the time.
Im only doing relief this year as ill be finishing off my masters!
we will be broke until October!

That's a great endorsement wysiwyg :). The eastern suburbs do look nice. The idea of trying to find a place to live and a school for ds1 from the Netherlands is just a bit too daunting though, so we've decided to just find somewhere short-term for when we get there and then look for somewhere to live and a school once we're there and can actually visit places. DS1 will miss a bit of school but that should be fine what with the change in school systems and everything anyway.

Good luck finishing off your masters trishalishous!

Ok the forum is so very quiet but I could really use some advice.
I've just started to look into childcare options for the kids and am terribly confused.
Does anyone have any tips or suggestions on where to look for advice?

DS1 is school aged but may need some out side of school hours care depending on how DH's work turns out.
DS2 will be 1.5 when we arrive in Australia.
I'll be working at a university so they have childcare centers there and seem to have some arrangements to take childcare costs out of your salary before tax etc but warn that that might influence government payments. The childcare looks really expensive at $115 a day. Is this normal? Do you get much back from the government? And do you have to wait until the end of the financial year or do you get it throughout the year? Is there an easy way to work out how much you'll get back? (At the moment it looks like my salary will almost all be spent on rent and childcare).
At the moment DS2 is in family day care with the big advantages that there is one dedicated carer that we know well, it's cheaper, we only pay for the hours he is actually there, and there is a lot of flexibility in terms of changing times or stopping for a few weeks if I take him with me on a business trip or something. Does anyone know if family day care in Australia is also so flexible? Or are the childcare centers there less rigid than the ones here? We once had to pay full rates for 3 months for DS1 even though he was away with us in Ghana so that we could keep his place, and would rather not have to do that again.
Hmm I've got so many questions but think I better stop there. If anyone has any answers for these or other general suggestions that would be fantastic! Thanks

Some answers
50% rebate up to $7500 per child
You can elect to have this paid upfront to provider and just pay the balance or you can have it paid to you quarterly or yearly
We get 4 weeks per year at half rates from our centre when we take DD out of care
Prices range typically from $85-$120 per day from what I've seen
Some flexibility depending on the centre
Hope someone more knowledgable than me pops in :)
Good luck!

Wow thanks for the speedy reply Joeve!
50% rebate would be fantastic! At that rate I'd have a better chance of actually being able to cover our living costs (which would be good :) ).
Thanks for the good luck wishes. It's all rather daunting.

As an add on there are changes coming in July where the eligibility for the 50% will be means tested
I'm not sure anyone is that clear what exactly will happen! :)

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Ok the forum is so very quiet but I could really use some advice.
I've just started to look into childcare options for the kids and am terribly confused.
Does anyone have any tips or suggestions on where to look for advice?

DS1 is school aged but may need some out side of school hours care depending on how DH's work turns out.
DS2 will be 1.5 when we arrive in Australia.
I'll be working at a university so they have childcare centers there and seem to have some arrangements to take childcare costs out of your salary before tax etc but warn that that might influence government payments. The childcare looks really expensive at $115 a day. Is this normal? Do you get much back from the government? And do you have to wait until the end of the financial year or do you get it throughout the year? Is there an easy way to work out how much you'll get back? (At the moment it looks like my salary will almost all be spent on rent and childcare).
At the moment DS2 is in family day care with the big advantages that there is one dedicated carer that we know well, it's cheaper, we only pay for the hours he is actually there, and there is a lot of flexibility in terms of changing times or stopping for a few weeks if I take him with me on a business trip or something. Does anyone know if family day care in Australia is also so flexible? Or are the childcare centers there less rigid than the ones here? We once had to pay full rates for 3 months for DS1 even though he was away with us in Ghana so that we could keep his place, and would rather not have to do that again.
Hmm I've got so many questions but think I better stop there. If anyone has any answers for these or other general suggestions that would be fantastic! Thanks

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Many/most schools offer Out of Hours School Care programs, which might be run by the school or a provider such as OHSC or Camp Australia, DD school has Camp Australia and she loves it - in my mind they do all the things that kids should do after school (hang out with friends, kick a ball, craft stuff, drawing) and get to do with a range of different aged kids.

I have heard really good things about childcare options at Universities (Deakin and Swinburne are the ones I have heard about) - 115 is towards the lower end for round here Camberwell/Hawthorn area. The rebate is great but if you need lots of days (4-5) you hit the cap pretty quick. It is probably changing though and some big reforms have been spoken about for 2016 which I know would have really helped us but we won't need it by then.

Childcare centers are pretty rigid in that you pay for set number of hours a day irrelevant of how many you use (the daily rate is normally for 11 or 12 hours)

You might find a family day care provider who will be as flexible as you want, but many are not that different to child-care centers apart from you can have a different standard length day. E.g. Standard length of 9:00 - 15:00 for example.

Our center is only 85% of the rates for holidays and is only 20 days a year (there is also a cap on how many days you can not attend and get the rebate for which is maybe more like 45??). A university center might well be a bit different, as its customers may have different requirements.

Thanks again wysiwyg!
We're hoping we can just do 3 days at childcare. I'll be working 4 days a week and DH is also hoping he can drop down to 4 days when we move.
Wow I thought the standard 10 hour day here was long. I guess some people have longer commute times in Oz so need the longer days.
I'll have to look into that cap on how many days you can not attend for the rebate. I'm going to be traveling a bit for work and had really hoped to be able to take the kids with me for most of that time. We'll see.

The Camberwell/Hawthorn area looks really nice :)

Commute times certainly play a part, now I work close to home I an only using 8 out of the 11 which is maximum at our CC, but up until this job I was using 10-11 depending on traffic.

On the rebate, you will still get it for the days you attend but if say you take 60 days away and the rebate has a maximum of 45 away then you would end up full fee/holiday fee for the extra 15 (wasn't sure if that was clear).

For childcare I would get your name down as soon as possible (unless you get guaranteed a place through work) as demand is pretty high in most areas, with lots of centre's having wait lists (same with family day care).

Thanks. I'll definitely get my name down soon. I still want to wait for the paper work to be signed and sealed though. It got delayed due to the holidays. It just doesn't feel right to do anything till it's all official. It's even starting to feel a bit weird talking about it with the few people I've told so far (beyond this anonymous public forum of course :)).

I would be the same waiting for the paperwork, worried I would jinx it somehow. (Happened to me once, got a job in Barcelona then the person who was leaving because didn't want to move to BCN from Geneva, changed their mind and moved - so that was that - probably wouldn't be in Oz now if that hadn't happened, so is all good but has made me wary until have signed on dotted line :-))

Hello ladies. I'm joining in as I have to return to work after Easter and I don't want to! I love my baby Stormageddon too much to leave him. He will be ok but I won't. I don't want to leave my gorgeous boy to look after other people's children.

As you're talking about daycare, how does one go about choosing one? Still haven't done that as am in denial.

Ah yes denial and choosing daycare. That sounds familiar :)
I was convinced I'd be able to finish off my thesis with DS2 around. After a while I realised it just wasn't going to work. I'd seen a lady at my son's school who worked as a family day carer and she seemed nice and carted the kids around in a box on the front of her bicycle covered in flowers with 'happy days' painted on the side. So I asked her if she could watch DS2 for a few hours here and there and we just went from there. She seemed capable, down-to-earth, and fun and I didn't put any more thought into it because I believed it would really only be a few hours here and there. It's now turned into a more regular and much longer term arrangement than I'd planned but it's working out ok.
Now I've got to choose a daycare for him on the other side of the world and have no idea how I'm going to do it.
My general take on choosing a daycare (mostly for DS1) has been to find a few with space and then go for visits. They were always either lovely or definitely no good for us (one place was a pristine room with delicate glass things around and the children boxed into one corner where all the toys got packed away each hour).

Good luck!

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As you're talking about daycare, how does one go about choosing one? Still haven't done that as am in denial.

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I made a checklist of things that were important to me, and then I did tours of the daycare facilities in our area (with copies of my checklist) and made notes. I also made notes when there about what THEY focussed on (because that gives me an idea about what they prioritise) and I also made notes about how they actually interacted with the kids. There was an obvious difference to me between the ones who knew the kids' names and responded to them, compared to the ones which seemed to actually dislike but "tolerate" the kids ... and the one place where there was almost no natural light, and the kids all seemed a bit dozy ... that was not the place for my kids (or potentially any kids...).

Our checklist had stuff about outdoor play, inquiry learning, feedback/communication book levels, and a bunch of other stuff.

If I was doing it again, I would also ask questions about when they do and don't send kids home ... some places will send them home if there's any fever (meaning potentially you use up all your sick leave on days when bubba is teething) or whether they're allowed come with green snot coughing up a lung and infect everyone else ... we're happier with a balance.

Good luck - I hope you find somewhere you're really happy with.

We did a really similar process when looking at schools.

Not enjoying work.

How does one overcome disliking their job? See I should love my job. It has some flexibility. The environment is lovely and comfortable. Its a job where once someone is in they don't leave. I have a fantastic client load and do love seeing most of my clients. I am quite popular to see over the others that also do my job. This was made evident when half the clients left when I was on maternity leave and returned once word got around I had returned. I am working 2days a week so its not full on.

I just can't work out why I do not like to be here. I have no conflict with other staff members. Its like a depression where I have no enjoyment what so ever in my work but I ?don't think I am depressed. I don't think getting another job would be the answer. I would be risking giving away a job that is perfect for me and my family. But if its so perfect why do I hate it? Help I am going out of my mind. Is it because of my workload at home and expecting another baby. I feel there is something wrong with me.

How do others manage as I feel like I am not.

Mildez, I've had that from time to time, particularly towards the end of last year. Worth talking to your GP about. It turns out for me I ended up being diagnosed with exhaustion, needing vit B12 shots & vit D supplements. I've taken some "me" time this school holidays and I'm feeling much better for it to.

Hi Mildez
I'm feeling very similar at the moment, though it feels like a bit of a broader depression for me too.
As with leckert (and as you hinted yourself) I think the problem for me at the moment is exhaustion.
I've done lots of thinking of alternative careers or even not working at all and being at home with the kids full time and really I think my current career is a good fit for me. I'm just burnt out, exhausted, and totally over it. I should probably take a break as leckert suggested but I'm currently behind many deadlines at the moment so I don't really feel like I can. I'm trying to compartmentalise more and make sure I get at least short breaks.
It sounds like you've got plenty of reason to be exhausted yourself. Is it possible for you to take a break soon?

I'm going back on 2 days (hopefully) to a job I fought tooth and nail to do. And I normally love the job itself. I love the people I spend 90% of my time with.

But I'm not looking forward to the niggly extras, the people who make meetings last twice as long as they need to, the judgement, the never being allowed to have an off minute... I don't want to leave my baby to be nagged at and treated worse than we'd treat a child in our care. Just for ten minutes a month, from a superior, but that's what breaks me. At least said superior has left now, not a nice way of thinking of it, but there it is.

As well as fatigue, having to cram in housework and parenting on your work days, wanting to be with your children... could there be one person with a pull down mentality that you see sometimes?