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dearmum......i can relate to the older kids and them not doing anything.....my 17ds is exactly the same and would prefer to stay at home and be in front of his computer.....he moved out of home on the weekend back to the city so he can be a city boy again.....i'm a little sad, but at the same time my house is peaceful again......yes preg hormones can take over, but they will settle down soon.....cheers kiya
Hi Kiya, Yeh my son is 19 this yr and he has only held down a few jobs as he gets fired,i get so frustrated as he has no motivation to get out there and work hard,instead he takes life easy he has parents that feed him and a roof over his head and his friends shout him drinks ect so he dosnt need a job:rolleyes:he cant even be bothered to claim dole.What made me so mad yesterday was i asked him to bring out the rubbish and he turned around and told me why dont you do it.Can you imagine how that made me feel.
Well he didnt end up taking out the rubbish,he didnt even come home last night.I think i need to tell him to move out he is old enough to defend for himself now what do you think?
boy can i so totally relate......my son does get the dole, and he found it so much easier to sit around and do nothing because he knew that every 2 weeks he would get money for nothing......he treated me like i was the worst thing on this earth, but he and dh were best buds.....ever since he physically threw dh to the ground by his throat and we had to get the police, they have become best buds, but me, gees i'm the worst ever..... i couldn;t even walk past his room without him yelling at me......so now i am glad he has gone......my house is so much happier for it....my other kids are being kids again and aren't always on their guards......cheers kiya
ladies......i'm asking for some advice......dh ex after some many years has all of a sudden decided she would start harassing us....dh & i have been together since our late teens, but we seperated for a short time during my preg with my eldest son and after he was born....during that time this girl, sucked him and lied to him about being on the pill etc.....they were together for only 5 weeks, but during that time she did so much damage, to much to go into detail with......she has now decided that dh has to make contact with this daughter......we spoke with CSA and they are now requesting a DNA because they have gone through her file and found some discrepancies......he only had a paternity and tht is no longer acceptable because even though it says 90+ % accuracy it is actually inaccurate.......she keeps emailing me to force dh to make contact with the daughter.....like he says he is paying, that is bad enough, but he doesn;t want to meet the girl.....the ex is now saying that she will go and wait outside my kids school so she can froce my kdis to meet this girl.....what should i do ???.....i'm in massiv tears at the moment.....kiya
Kiya...
Firstly :hug: to you and your family.
My advice would be talk to your lawyer have them write a letter asking that all correspondence regarding the child be done through the lawyers office (this way YOU aren't being harrassed by this woman) and if the funds are available get another test done... I assume that you and your hubby have spoken at great lengths over this and the decision that he would not be involved in the other child's life was a joint one....SHE can not force YOUR children to meet her child....If YOU feel threatened by this woman seek an AVO...Sorry if im rambling i have a million thoughts going through my head at the minute.
This is the advice i gave a friend who is in a similar situation....They only dtd once.... but 3 days after the girl claimed she was pregnant(sounds suss, i know)..... Once the lawyer got involved my friend hasnt heard from her nor has the lawyer.
Hope things all settle down for you soon....And please dont waste tears on this woman...she isnt worth it.
Thanks Karend........that helped......this woman is nuts, literally......prime example.....we got married in oct 1993......a week before we got married she was calling saying she had another child to dh, a son and that it was born early and was in the NICU.....so i said fine give me all the details then and we will see it.....within 2 mins of saying it was in the NICU, she said we can't see it because it had passed away........then several months later we got a phoen call from CSA telling us that she tried to claim this child......they declined it due to the fact that she could not #1 provide a birth certificate and #2 she couldn't provide dna proof that dh was the father......then the guy at CSA then asked is it true that i was his 2nd wife......i nearly died.....he was never married to her and was only with her for a few weeks and then she suckered himin with this kid......we have had an AVO on her before, but because we no longer live in the city and she is now married.....go figure, she still wants to be a b$tch......it no longer holds.......kiya
WTF.....omg you poor thing...you really need a:hug:
If i was you i would get another AVO and change my phone/email details...i know this can be a pain but I would rather spend the 30 mins on the phone to change it then have the worry that there may be an email or a phone call/message from her but thats IMHO
it has been a horrible 24 hrs i can assure you.....dh has been great and keeps giving me huggles......i'm so glad my 17 son isn;t here, because he would go nuts.....what makes it even harder is that we want to start IVF hopefully in the next month or so, but with this happening it feels like it will have to go on the back burner again......i'm sick of waiting to have my new bubba's......dh has said that we are goign to go see our lawyer tomorrow......we have seen pictures of this child and it has nothing of dh at all......our kids though have him all through them.....my 14 ds is a spitting image of him......i just want it all to end.....kiya
Try and keep your chin up darl....
:crossfingers:that everything sorts itself out soon...Let the lawyer deal with it...
By the way...my friend isnt just my friend he is my hubby....so i do in a way understand what you are going through....we had just decided to go and have the reversal done when i found out.....still going through with the reversal..... despite the rough patches, for us this PROBLEM has only made us stronger.....
PM me if you want to chat....anytime im usually on line
Take it easy
:hug:So sorry to hear about that B***H giving you troubles,dont let her get her way.She must be doing this to make you guys argue,dont give her the satisfaction.What Karend said is so true once you get a lawyer involve she will go away.Gosh this is the last thing you need.:hug:
Wow thats pretty heavy Kiya you poor thing. What DNA was done the first time round???
I too had a DNA test done on my son as his father didnt believe me and it was just a mouth one that you can do at home and it cost $500 and it came back 99.99999999% that he was the father. I could not use it for legal reason or to claim child support as there was no 3rd party to witness it, that one was $1000. Cant your DH just sign away his parental right for her because he doesnt want anything to do with her???
Im pretty sure that would send a message loud and clear and would cut her up. My friends ex signed away all his rights to his son and she was very very angry and upset.
Get yourself a new email account so you dont have to get anymore emails from her.
Stand your ground and dont let her get in the way of your plans or your family. If you let her get to you then she wins. I think even if you get a laywer to send her a letter telling her your DH feeling and to stay away or court action will be taken then she may back right off.
Emm he had only the paternity test done.....CSA dont accept paternity anymore because they are in accurate.....so many fathers have been forced to pay child support for children based on a test that is looking for certain elements in blood and a blood group......My eldest son knows of this child, but is not happy, not at hubby, but the other bird, because she tricked him into having a baby.....we have changed our number so many times, but she sucks up to our friends back in Brisbane, saying how we gave her our number to contact us, and she has lost it some stupid sotry and them not knowing any better gives it to her.....it is a never ending circle......all we want is to extend on our family by having another baby of our own, and now this has set us back.....i hate all the set backs.....kiya
wow today has been filled with a lot of emotions and a lot of tears......not only are we still going to go ahead with the IVF, but dh has asked me to renew our wedding vows to prove how much i really does love me.....it is exciting now.....hopefully a new baby/babies soon and now a new wedding, especially since my first one was absolutely aweful and it rained and my reception was held in my parents shed with frozen finger food for the guests....so now it we can have the fun-filled party we should of had.....we have decided to have a little ceremony for our renewal then instead of a reception thingo we are goign to have a big party instead....kiya
Oh that is truely wonderful darl am so happy for you, i have gooses:redface:.
Wats the differance between the blood test one and the mouth swab???
I would have thought the bllod one would have been a match then a mouth swab.
thanks em.....apparently dh has been planning on doing this for awhile now, but since all this $hit has been happening he wanted to make it even more special......apparently a paternity is where they match up the same blood group......so for example if lets say the child has A+ and the father has A+, and they would select at random so many other males to compare against......it will come back as a certainty not a definate, for this they have found is no longer accurate.....a DNA looks for identical markers in a minimum number of markers.....this is when they can then say that a child belongs to this mother and this father.......a paternity however only shows a probable possibility where a DNA shows a definate probability.....so did i confuse you any......dh studied genetics......a true DNA costs over $1000 a paternity costs under $500....and one of the only ways you can get a DNA is if it is court ordered.......cheers kiya
Mine was from a company in melb and they sent back once the test was completed a letter with lots of numbers on it and our names above each colume. Then it said on another letter that he was the father 99.999999%.
yeah they can be confusing cant they........well things have all settled down now......i finally told her what to stick it......now to get back to the task at hand of having a baby :-)...cheers kiya
Good on you darl, i so cant wait to here some more good news.
You so deserve it:hug:
Im going back into see my GP so i can get the ball rolling again........It is good being able to do a lot of the stuff up here and over the phone, but of course we still need to go down and do stuff as well......i remember from the last phone call we had with them, that they will try and arrange it so most of the important things we have to do before we treatment starts is on the one day so we dont have to keep fly up and down.....we also found that it is goign to a little longer, because of the dvt and endo, but that is ok.....they are going to keep my on the oral pill even though that can cause a dvt, BUT at the same time i will be on the clexane again, so it will be thinning everything out ie lining and blood.....they said last time that in a way it is good i have the endo and going back on the clexane because i will have a nice soft smooth lining for the eggies to attach to and better my chance considering my age etc......so fingers crossed we can start.....dh now wants to have 2 put back in and always talks about it as "them" and when "they" grow up etc etc.....it is cute, but i would be happy if one just makes, 2 would be a blessing.....cheers kiya
"Them" thats so funny. Isnt it cute when guy are being big softies.
Hearing all this baby talk almost makes me clucky again:rolleyes:
Very quiet in here girls??? Wats going on??
hehehehehe.......i know exactly what you mean about our guys being big softies....dh is being such a softie lately....it is cute
dh.....has decided that he wants them to if figners crossed put 2 back in.......i had my appt with my gp and he rung westmead again, and they have agreed that if i have enough that have fertilised and healthy enough to put 2 back in.......i cried and laughed......they were great......so they will get abck to me with an appt date down there and i will fly down.....woohoo
Glad things are starting to look up for you..... Hope you don't have to wait too long for your appointment
Hi Ladies;)I have a question,Im coming out in small itchy rashes and i dont know if its due to the IVF drugs or simply being pregnant,has anyone had this problem while being pregnant?
Yeh apart from that im doing fine,bubs will be 8 weeks old on Tuesday.This pregnancy is draging out im counting down the weeks already.
I hope you are all havn a good weekend.
Dearmum...I felt like i was pregnant forever aswell and i think its because of the hole IVF lead up to falling pregnant. I got a rash on my tummy when i was pregnant with my first,its just called the pregnancey rash but have it checked out. Have you been over and joined your belly buddies thread yet? There was about 10 girls in my thread so not to many. It was just lovely to be able to share it with people that were going thru the same thing and i great place to vent lol. I heard a name the other day and it was lovely, it was Pierson very strong name i think
Hi Mumof6;)Thanks atleast now i know its normal to get rashes while pregnant,its funny because i didnt get all this with my other bubs.I had a quick look at the thread you mentioned and there are no posts on there hmm dont know why.I have been chating with another web site called bubhub,its great also.Yeh i think this time around the pregnancy is going soooo slowww because of IVF and also because this time all my kids are big im not busy anymore.Actually i want to take it all in with this one because it could be my last you never know.Are you thinking of having another in future?
Hi Ladies how is everyone??
Hi Onemore How have you been? are you starting to show yet?
Well ladies im off to have a nice hot bath.See Ya
Dearmum, when are you due?? And i'll check the belly buddies
Hi lovely ladies, how are you all doing ?
Sorry I`ve been MIA for a while, just dont seem to have time to get on line.... dial up is crap, either it drops out and I cant be bothered with it so I dont, or by the time I get a chance I`m just to tired.
Kiya this is prob a bit late:redface: but sounds like you guys have been through a rough time... glad it has passed and things are looking up for you. Your DH sounds like a gem. All the best hun you both deserve it.
Dearmum how are you feeling ? not too sick I hope.
I have nausea nearly everyday but have only been sick 4 times so far and only between 6pm and 10pm.. I dont mind because I know things are still going well.
You know someone asked me a couple of days ago if I was pregnant.. and I say ahh yes, then I go in to DH and ask " is my belly sticking out ? " and he said well if it is your gonna be huge by the end... I am showing a bit but I think because I`m a bit chubby !! its pushed my belly out and now I cant suck it in and hide it:lol:
I havnt put on any weight which is good and I want to be careful not to put too much on this time cause Im already carrying more than I would like.. will just make it harder to loose later.
Em how are you going ?
Well I should go and get some sleep.
Chat to you all later.
Hi Mumof6 oh thanks yep im due on the 10th Feb.Hope everything is going good for you.
Hi Onemore Sorry to hear your having m/s.Yeh iv been lucky with all my kids not to get m/s.What date are you due?Im having my 8week scan on Sat what about you? The only thing iv noticed this time around is how grummpy i am:)yeh my family hate me atm.
Hi everyone else sorry have to leave it short,as im off to pic up my son from school camp.Talk again.
Onemore my belly did that aswell for the first 3 months where i looked pretty pregnant but after that it settled down.
Well AF returned on monday morning and holly cow i didnt bleed this much even after having Breah. I went and did the mid year christmas sale at BigW today WHAT A MISSION 4 trolley's later i was finally done.
Dearmum, go onto the forum page and go down to Your pregnancy~ belly buddies. The thread you will be in is called Belly Buddies ~ Due February 1st-15th 2009
Hi Ladies:DI had my 8 week scan on Saturday,it now looks like a real baby with legs and arms and its only 2cm.My hubby said how come your stomach is so big but the baby is still so small:lol:hmmm i must be eating to much.Gosh its so cold lately it makes me stay in bed most of the time.So how is everyone??its been so quiet here.Ok we have school holidays here now,i love the idea that you dont need to rush in the morning,but i hate it how your home gets so messy with the kids around more.I would love to take the kids camping but the thought of the cold makes me think nah.
Well chat again next time.See Ya
Dido on the not having to rush and the messy house factor. Great to hear your scan went well thats awesome
Its freezing and i cant stand it. 9am on a saturday morning on a footy field watching my boys play is very hard
cause its so dame cold
Hi Mumof6;)Oh you poor thing out in the cold,its all part of being a mother :rolleyes:Yeh i much prefer summer at least you can get cold and go out more.Do your kids complain they are bored on school holidays?i have all teenage kids which are fine but my youngest girl 11 she gets so bored quick hmm its anoying,i suppose she is a bit like a single child because her sister is 17 and dosnt like to hang out with her:(.Once i have this bub i plan to go and do IVF straight away and try for number 2 because they need a friend.
My hubby thinks we should give the child a few yrs of being the youngest baby but i think with my age and everything nah i dont wont to wait,and what if it takes me a few months to get pregnant.
Ok i better shut up:)
Chat again next time.
hehehehe dearmum.......i can so totally relate.....we are on the 2nd week of school holidays and my kids are driving me mad......my house looks like a bomb just went off.....i have a fire going because it is cold even though the sun is out......i am so hoping they still put 2 back in when i do my IVF.... like dh as said i have been preg with twins before, so i have a higher chance of having them again.....he has twins on his side of the family as do i.....but if only 1 takes then we might just have to do it again....LOL this spring chock isn't getting any younger, and i want to get the most out of what years i have left making babies.....cheers kiya
Hi Kiya:)You go girl,demand for what you want after all alot of other ladies get there way by putting there foot down on this subject.Your so lucky because even if they put 1 in it will proberly turn into a twin.Do you have any dates for when you might start?
Yeh i have a messy house already and its only been 2 days:rolleyes:
And the cold,i keep my gas heater on 24/7 but it still seems cold,it just makes me eat more in winter:)
Back onto the twins again,i have 6 frozen bubs so next time im going to hunt down a doctor that will transfer 2:lol:its my dream to have twins.
We are all still thinking about baby names,Iv came up with Shafarn(boy) Safia(girl) what do you think?Any ideas?
hey everyone, wow lots going on with these preggy mums. so glad everyone is doing okay. its so exciting when you get to see the baby!
em, hows breah and whats the other thread??? me, i have being doing the uni thing. doing placement at the moment which is okay. lots to learn...... hope the best for everyone.
Luv its just all the different threads for new mums to be depending on what month your due. Just good to chat to others that are going thru the same thing. I met some nice people in the thread i was in.
I have the fireplace on aswell, it was -1 here on saturday morning at about 1:30am.
It was 13 in the day time 2day:(.We fly to Darwin next tuesday for a week so the kids will love that im sure. Breah had her needles about an hour ago so i hope she will be ok tonight. I put some new pic's in my gallary aswell for you all to have a look
Hi Ladies;)What do you think about these names.Shafarn(boy)or(Sofira)girl??
Yeh its been a big debate in this family over names:)My youngest daughter wants Melina if its a girl and no coment for a boy lol.
I feel a flu coming on,i swear since iv fallen pregnant it seems easier to get sick.Its proberly my falt because i hardly drink,yeh iv got to force myself to drink coz i just dont get thirsty.Gosh its almost dinner time and i dont know what to cook,i think i better rush off to woolies and get something.See Ya
dearmum, they sound cute names :-)
Hi Ladies;)How is everyone today? I guess you are all busy busy with the school holidays.Yeh we have 1 week left so im a bit sad but on the other hand happy to get back to normal:lol:
Ok so im getting bigger by the day and iv put on 3kg so far its all the yummy carbs.Hmm i must admit one thing that i miss since iv got pregnant is my (lady pills)yeh they help make your VG tight:redface:oh well i have 6 more months.I still havnt got myself to exercise yet dam.
PS. If anyone wants to try these lady pills i can see if my friend has any more left.