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thread: Baby Lost - Heart Broken (Factor V Leiden responsible)

  1. #217
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    May 2004

    Hi Michelle,

    Thanks for the lovely message, it means alot, it has been a really rough week but it was something that i had to face eventually i guess.

    Rowan had the day off and we started doing a few things that we can make a family tradition and involve our future children in her day when they come along. So that is nice that we are developing ways in which to remember her in our family life forever. I feel like the things that we did are very constructive and will help soothe things over time when we have the familiarity of doing them every year on her two special days. We are planning to do the same thing on her birthday every year aswell.

    Everyone had said to me that they have found closure in passing their due date but i am not sure how i am feeling about it at the moment. I do feel that it is a transition period because i should no longer be pregnant with her she should be in my arms now which is a very hard thing to face.

    The one thing that i am grateful for is that we have her ashes with us. I can hold her and talk to her anytime i want which i have found a huge comfort. It makes me feel that she is still around us in some way other than in our hearts.

    Also i have mentioned in several posts before about the significance of rainbows to me in the time after her death. Well it was an unusually sunshiny winters day on her due date and i did see a rainbow late in the afternoon, so i did take some comfort in that.

    I really feel at this point that she understands exactly how Rowan and i feel about her and i feel that she knows everything that we want her to know. So i guess that i am heading to a more peaceful place with her memory although that is hard.

    I read a quote the other day and it really hit home to me " Dont cry because its over, smile because it happened". I think that this sums up the place where i want to eventually be. I want to be able to remember the happy times that we had and the chance that we got to be her parents is nothing that i would ever take away. I would go through all this pain again just to have her in our lives for those 18 weeks. She is such a special little baby to us and will always remain that way.

    I have really struggled with this time and of course it is making me overanxious about the new baby as we reached the 12 week mark yesterday. Also another thing that hadnt occured to me is that we will be heading to the 18 week mark around the time of her 6 month anniversary of her death so i really think that the next couple of months are going to be very hard to face both because of Katelyn and because of the fear that i have surrounding the 18 week mark. I know that i am doing everything that i can, and the doctors are doing everything they can and i just need to believe that i am going to hold this new baby living and breathing in my arms.

    Wow i only meant to write a short message and all this other stuff came out. Once again i send you a big hug and thanks for your message. I have been keeping up with your news in the TTC forum (i still come in and ready regularly even if i am not posting) and i really wish you lots of baby dust for that BFP real soon.

    Love Sarah

  2. #218
    Registered User

    Apr 2004


    How are you doing after last week?

  3. #219
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    May 2004

    Hi Bec,

    Just sent you an email.

    Love Sarah

  4. #220
    jen Guest

    factor v leiden - miscarriages

    hi folks,

    This is the first time I've ever posted a message anywhere and it is really the first time I've ever looked onto one of these websites.

    I read KAB's story from May 04 re her loss of her baby at 18wks. KAB seemed to benefit from sharing her story online and I'm hoping that I will too. I don't think I could feel any worse anyway.

    I have lost 3 babies during first trimester. After my second loss I was told that I have Factor V Leiden and within 2 weeks I was spotting again in my 3rd pregnancy. I can't believe this is happening to me.

    KAB talked about getting conflicting info from specialists etc, well I have had that as well. The problem seems to be that the Factor V Leiden gene has greater "strength" with some people than others, so some women with it will never have a miscarriage but for others (like me) it causes problems. I'm taking 100mg aspirin daily, 5000mg folate and with a positive preg test I'll start taking 40mg Clexane (heparin) by injection daily.

    I'm not convinced though that it will work though cause with my last loss I started the Clexane at 8 wks and then had a huge bleed at 9 weeks.
    I feel hopeless, helpless and lost. I don't know where I'm going in life....I have never felt that way before..........I have to keep going though.....tomorrow I probably won't feel so bad. Is there anyone out there with some stories of hope?

  5. #221
    Registered User

    Jan 2006

    I'm really not a good person to bring hope at the moment. This post sounds so very much like my experience and pops up on Caitlyn's due date (freaky?? karma?? even the name of the baby!!) Maybe seeing it just helps me on this particular day. At least I know what I am feeling is normal.

    Jen - I too have FVL and (if I manage to get pregnant again) I'll be starting on aspirin and clexane from about 8-12 weeks. I am not sure if it will work, but if it gives me the chance of getting a healthy baby at the end then I am going to give it a try.

    Have you seen a haematologist?? I haven't but my OB is very comfortable in managing my FVL in the next pregnancy. I have heterozygous FVL which really means I have the gene from one parent rather than two (which would be homozygous). Homozygous FVL seems to give more complications and heterozygous usually doesn't pose any problems (my Mum had no problems with pregnancy but did get a DVT post C/S). HOWEVER I am not uncomplicated, thus the need to treat me next time.

    There are some beautiful stories of hope and the ladies here are gorgeous too (a better support group you could not wish for). I hope you find what you are looking for and rapidly get your hearts desire.


  6. #222
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    May 2004

    Hi Jen and Michelle,

    Its Sarah here, Bec77 told me about your posts under my Katelyn's thread and i wanted to reply to you both. Sorry it has taken me awhile to get here but i dont have access to a computer at home.

    Firstly i wanted to say to you both that i am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful babies.

    I also wanted to offer you both hope. I believe that Bec has told you that i now have a one year old daughter Lucy. I fell pregnant with Lucy again 10 weeks after losing Katelyn at 18 weeks. I took 100mg aspirin from the BFP and then at 7 weeks went onto 40mg of Clexane injections per day. It is really hard to make a decision as to which coarse of treatment to take because of the differing opinions from specialists. My doctors still ask me now which way i will go with the medication side of things next time, i tell them definately clexane from the BFP because without it i lost Katelyn and with it i had a healthy baby in Lucy.

    Jen, I definately did benefit greatly from sharing my story about Katelyn, this is a wonderful group of ladies here who i have made long term friendships with. People in my life didnt understand what i was feeling as much as the people here so keep coming back. How are you and have you posted again?

    Michelle, I didnt see a haematologist at any time, my OB was comfortable with that aswell. How are you doing after Caitlyn's due date ?(lovely name!) It is such a hard time and i feel for you.

    I will be coming back in the next couple of days to check if you guys have been around but until then you are both in my thoughts and i am here if you need to talk things through.

    Love Sarah

  7. #223
    Melinda Guest

    Great to see you back Sarah! I got your message!

  8. #224
    davenstacey@bigpond.com Guest

    hi kab i to have factor 5 anytime you want to talk let me no

  9. #225
    davenstacey@bigpond.com Guest

    jen iam so sorry to here that i have factor v also and believe me things will look better

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