Christmas - how do you deal with it?

Punkin :hug: our little ones are the same angel age, Niki would have been 7 months ON Christmas day 25th. Gosh when it rains it pours doesn't it. I am so sorry about you an d your husband separating - I don't know how I would have gone without DH during this time - Mind you we had gone pretty close to separating a few times the past months.

I will light a candle for you and ask that you are looked after during this difficult time, I just don't know what to say ....

love and hugs punkin x x x

Hey Punkin, sending you big hugs :hug: hun. I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby, it must be awful to wonder how you'd be spending it if your little one was here.

I'm also really sorry for your seperation...I'm sending you lots of cyber strenght to get you thru chrissy, don't be afraid to have a good cry, we all need it sometimes.

Love and hugs

Beata xxxx

Morning ladies,just wanted to pop in and see how everyone is?

Lisa-My DH and I would love to get a portrait tatoo of our son,but i have a fear of someone stuffing it up,how bad would that be!:o but i would still be game,lol. Hope your well,hun.

Baeta,Nae,Hi ya How are you both going? Hope you are both doing ok,i have to run,my Aunt has called in.

Punkin,just quickly,sending big :hug: your way too,hope you are ok. Catch you all soon.;)

Love to all,catch up later girls..........visitors await!!!!:rolleyes:

HI everyone,

Susan, having a better day today, had my first of many "Christmas Do's" last night for work and it was ok, I was called a scrooge once when I said I wasn't looking forward to it this year but the comment was quickly retracked when the person remembered what I have been through this year :rolleyes:

It was nice actually a number of people were very supportive about the New year and I know there will be a lot of love and ultra sticky vibes for me and future bub when we start our journey again in the NY.

I have been gradually feeling better, not looking forward to the family visit coz mum has been really down but she is also still going through "the change" I have brought her a special little something even though we are doing "couples" presents this year I may just pop it in the post and send it to her as an early gift. Hopefully it will cheer her up.

how is everyone else?

Nae x x x

Hello ladies,

Sorry, I've been having computer trouble since yesterday and just got back on now.

Nay, I'm so glad you've overcome your next hurdle of going to a xmas do. I'm very proud of you even if you really weren't in the mood...It's always good to make an effort. Luckily our work doesn't really have one ( anymore ), so I don't have to spread the cheer half heartedly....
I hope you can cheer up your mum, it must be hard for her too. You've lost your precious little daughter, but she's also lost a granddaughter as well. Mum mum is feeling the same too, not looking forward to xmas this year and keeps wondering what it would be like if Josh was still arriving in February.....
I had to make he decorate her tree, but only ofter I made her help me decorate mine....

Susan, hope you're doing OK hun. I think a tatoo is a nice idea. Don't worry that it might not turn out OK, I'm sure that is will, and there's a lot of good tatooists around.

Hey Punkin and Lisa, sending you lots of hugs, hope you're both doning well :hug:

Just a quick update on my fibroid girls. Went yesterday to my radiologist app. and it turns out the fibroid is DEAD. Yeepee !!!!! :dance:What good news ! Apparently, the blood supply is cut off and it's begining to shrink. It's such a bittersweet feeling though. I keep thinking that having Joshua has killed my fibroid, but what a price to pay for my beautiful angel. My friend at work said that maybe that was his purpose, to kill the fibroid so it's dealt with and maybe he'll come back to me again....another time.
My OB still wants to cut it out ( only when it shrinks a bit ) so hopefully in a few months I can do my frozen blast transfer. No drugs this time, yey !!!!!

Wishing you all good spirits and sending you lots and lots of love and hugs :hug:

Love
Beata xxxxxx

Forgot to mention - Tattoos are a great way to remember your little ones. I am in the process (actually have one just have to get it done) of getting an little butterfly on the back of my neck with some scroll work and get Niki's name put underneath.

I already have 5 so another isn't an issue its just actually getting into the shop to get it done :rolleyes:

Don't have anything helpful to say sorry but wanted to send you a HUGE virtual hug!

Hi ladies, just saying a quick hello. Hope you are all doing ok,as it`s draws closer to xmas,the days seem to be flying by. It`s my DH`s Birthday so we have had a good night with family & some friends today :dance: . I got my other kids Santa photo`s done today,not as good as I had hoped for,but anyway.......... I had some bubbley tonight,not a drinker,now paying for it with a nice headache,lol.

Nae- Does it really hurt to get a Tattoo? A couple of people have told me it really hurts,but I`ve been through alot of pain in my life! :rolleyes: I would like my son Brendan in a Tattoo with Angel wings coming out from behing him,I got a quote for it though, wait for it !!......$500.00.Still just thinking about it.

Hope all you lovely ladies are good,will catch up soon,going to relax with DH,for a while now. Have a lovely night all.;)
Love & Peace everyone. :grouphug:

Hey Susan,

it sounds gorgeous where are you thinking of getting it done? I have one on the underside of my wrist left hand, one lower back, two on my tummy and one on my left ankle.

My back piece is the biggest and was the least painful my ankle is one of the smaller ones and hurt the most.

The outlines are more painful than the shading, shading feels a bit like scratching in the one spot over and over, the outline can bite a bit I guess its like a cat scratch on sunburn? but everyone has different pain thresholds and depending on your time of month can make a difference to with how you cope with pain.

$500 is not too bad make sure the tattooist is reputable ask around etc.

My back and wrist pieces were from good tattooist and you really can see a difference between those and the 3 from a dodgy one the quality in the ink and the work is clear.

If I didn't live so far away from the guy who did my back piece I'd go back to him the wrist was done when I was in Sweden.

A good one will make you go away and think about it, a bad one will do you straight away ;)

NN x x x

Hi Girls,

Couldn't sleep so I thought I'd write about some strange little things that have been happening in the last couple of days....the other day I was on the computer, and on the left side of where I sit is my phone which hangs on the wall ( the computer is in the kitchen/dining area, we have a small 2 bedroom unit so don't have a study ). Well anyway, out of the corner of my eye I saw the phone cord ( which is obviously hanging ) just flip up in the air !!! I looked at the phone for a long time ( wasn't spooked or anything ) and I wondered if Joshua was around.....hmmmmm. How can a cord just flip up !! Gravity, hello !!!!!!!

Then lats night, I must have fallen asleep ( just... ) and I woke up feeling something moving around in my belly ( like a baby moving around ) and then I was trying to focus on someting ( don't know if I was half asleep but I was trying to focus ) and I thought I saw a little blue light hovering in the corner on my bedroom so then I was fully awake and the light dissapeared and then I heard like someone was walking on the roof and then a couple of other strange noises too like someone was moving around the house but Al and I were the only ones there ....So I just lay there and I was touching my belly, wondering if again Joshua was around or if it was all a dream.....don't know but I wasn't scared.

Anyway, maybe Joshua's around as I've been thinking about him a lot lately ( or I'm going crazy which is also possible ).

Hey girls, all this talk about a totoo, think I'll get a small one ( don't have any yet but I've been wanting one for a while ). Alan's daughter has one on her foot but her's hurt a lot as there's no fat there. I'd probably get one near my hip bone ( ouch )...

Have a great day everyone, sending you all big hugs :hug:

Love
Beata xxxx

Wow Beata... sounds like Josh is definitely there with you. Tell him everything you want him to know... feel his love hun.

As for tattoos... I have 5. I have my eldest son James's name on my right inner ankle under s dolphin, I have Pearl Jam's Stickman (huge fan!) on my right shoulder blade, I have a butterfly with Madeleine under it on my left shoulderblade, on my left inner wrist I have my ambigram which says Noah facing my way, and upside down it says Angel, and on my left outer ankle between my achilles tendon & ankle bone is a tiny star I got in rememberence of my MC.
I have a few more planned... I am thinking of getting a car tattooed on me for Harrison... and I am getting a tattoo for my husband (he is getting a portrait of me tattooed on him when we go O/sea's.)

I would have to say my least painful tattoo was my inner wrist. My most painful was my inner ankle. I totally agree with Nae's description of what it feels like... it is a warm, scratching feeling... essentially the ink is being carved & burned into your skin... it is no where near as painful as most people make it out to be. With my last tattoo's (Noah & star ones) the most ouchy part was the antiseptic spray they put on at the end.

Susan - I highly recommend Sleevemasters Tattoo in Kings Cross... they do phenomenal work (they've done one of mine & one of DH's) I'll be going there for my next few tattoo's as they are so amazing... Kiwi Kim is another great artist, she was at Wicked Ink in Penrith but I'm not sure if she is still there. There is also Sydney's Tattoo & Body Art Expo coming up on 6th, 7th & 8th March at Sydney Show Ground. I am thinking about heading down there for a look around :)

Thanks Lisa. The weird thing is I wan't scared when all these things happened, normally I get quite spooked :o

Hope you're doing OK hun

Love and hugs

Beata xxx

Hi ladies,;) It`s still raining in Sydney.

Nae- I might have to go for something small to start off with,instead of the portrait fisrt up in case i can`t handle it,lol. I`ve always wanted a red rose on my breast,but been to shy to go through with it,you know someone looking at you......silly ay,there probably seen millions of breast.lol. Does anyone one know is it better to have it done on the left or right breast,is there any difference, where you get it done,for example if i choose the wrong tit,does it mean I?m gay or anything like that :o Sorry don`t know much about these things. The only thing i have is my ears pierced. So Nea, how are you? :)

Lisa- Thanks for your tips on tats,lol. I really would like one but I?m sssooooo....chicken! I scream at ****aroaches And I?m a thousand time their size.
I told my DH about the Expo,he said it sounds good,is the body art painted on Naked bodies,lol. Trust hubby to take an interest,iykwim. So that`s on at Homebush i take it? Hope you are well too.:)

beata- Hi there, from my person experience I deffinately say your darling little boy comes to see his Mummy.:hug:.That is a beautiful Angelic moment to treasure.Once our loved ones pass over,we can no longer see them in a physical sence now,they do things out of the ordinary to try & get our attention. You should just greet them in a soft voice & let them know how much you miss them & how you will always love them.
The blue or white light that you may see is called " Spiritual Orbs" they are your loved one/s. Spirits usually appear as light & like to rest in corners of our homes,they are also attracted to light. I have a touch lamp in the loungeroom,where i sit in my arm chair & it turns on by it`self & begins to flash, I know it`s my son Brendan,he most often comes when we are all having family fun. So beata NO your NOT CRAZY......lol, your just becoming more open to spiritual messages,it is a great honour for our loved ones to come and re- visit us. Also they can appear in our dreams to send through messages when we are totally relaxed. Hope I haven`t scared any of you,but I?m a real believer in the "Spirit World". A really good web site is Heavens Children
This is a wonderful place to visit. I have a collection of Angel books,read so many when my little Champ died,it helped me to heal. Hope you are doing ok, too.:)

Love & Peace ladies catch you later,If you ever want to talk PM,me. Cheers. :grouphug:

:rofl: Susan, gosh you sound just like a friend of mine. Not a bad idea but if you get it done you may not go back for Brendan's or you could go the way i did and get addicted to the pain (as sick as that sounds)

Its been 6 years since my last one so I am a bit chicken and in someways a bit nervous as I want to start TTC in the NY and don't want to run the risk of infection or something - unlikely that anything will go wrong but don't want to put myself under any unnecessary pressure or whatever kwim?

Beata - sounds like a lovely visit hun :hugs: I think your little man knows you needed a visit and made an extra special effort for you ;) thats pretty special I hope it helps with your healing and grieving process x x x Also with tatts its not fat which makes them more or less painful its where there is more nerve endings close to the surface of the skin, My wrist is pretty skinny and so is my ankle both are ont he inner edge but I will never get another ankle one done it hurt so much because there are more nerve endings in this area then there are on the inner wrist kwim??

As for me, I baby sat for the first time ever last night it was a lovely experience eben though the poor little one was so sick. It has really reinforced my desire to be a mummy.

Also I have made an executive decision that I WILL NOT be visiting the "loss" section in the NY whilest I am pregnant when I fall pregnant. I will probably pop in when I near Niki's birth and angel dates but aside from that I don't want to jinx myself into a third loss in a row.

Just want you all to know just in case you think I suddenly fall off the face of the earth in 19 days.

I will happily stay in contact though so please don't think I will be snubbing you all. I just don't want to tempt fate by staying in here - strange I know but I am a bit superstitious about reaping what you sow. For example if I stay focussed on Loss by being in here then I will draw another Loss to me. Logically i know this doesn't happen but still ....

Luv ya all

NN x

Naenae,

Honey I was exactly like that when I was pregnant with Harrison... I rarely visited the MC&L threads, unless there was something in particular I wanted to post about or a certain post I felt I really wanted to reply to.
I felt as though I would jinx myself. When I was pregnant with Noah I read about all these women losing their bubs, and I remember crying over one of the websites at pics of a baby at 21 weeks... then I lost Noah. I joined here a few hours before I went to the hospital to give birth to Noah... so I promised myself I would try to stay away from anything I felt would jinx me when I was pregnant again. When I found out I was pregnant with Harrison, I made a babycrowd page, and I hung out in the 'Babies due Feb 1- 16 2007' thread... It's just what worked for me... so I totally understand where you're coming from.
I hope when you are pregnant again that your belly group are as awesome as what mine were... we're still great friends and are in touch with each other via emails & facebook now.

Sending you loads of baby vibes:bluedust::pink-babydust::bluedust::pink-babydust::noaf::fertilise:

Hi Nae,Lisa ladies just wanted to wish you all the very best,it`s been lovely sharing stories & getting to know you all,but i too have decided to try to move on a little,i really feel down some days & DH,said it`s probably because i think too much of our past & dwell on the bad things instead of staying positive. Anyway just wanted to wish you all the very best for a very Happy Chrissy & New Year,hope all your dreams come true,sometime soon,you all deserve happiness! :grouphug: I would love to stay in contact i have messanger Yahoo,or pm me & iam on face book but their are heaps of people with my name,lol. Thanks for all your kind words & support,I have my youngest bub`s 1st Birthday today,so need to make more of an effort to be happy around my other children,who need their mum. Hope this makes sence to you all. Good luck to you all when you are ttc,sending baby vibes & wishes all your way..... Keep in touch ay!!:lol: I?m alway up for a chat,so feel free to talk anytime,love to TALK......
LOVE & PEACE to you all,maybe Nae,you could start a thread on TATTS!!! :rofl:
See you all around,have a great day,ladies ;)

Hi Susan, Nae and Lisa,

Isn't is funny how the universe works ? Was thinking the other day of how I was looking forward to writing in the TTC thread. I know the M/C and Loss thread is always a litlte bit harder to write in and share, but it's really benefited me through my hard times and when I needed to talk to someone who really understood me. Thanks girls ! You've all been a pillar of strenght to me and I can't thank you enough :grouphug:

I'll hang around here until I have my transfer hopefully in 3 or so months, and then I'll join the TTC thread and probably the IVF one as well. That's a whole new ball game.....

Nae, all the best to you hun, I hope you get your wish and maybe we can talk in the 'new mums' thread soon. Wouldn't it be awesome ? Sending you lots and lots of baby dust and I hope you get your miracle soon.

Ladies, I hope you all have a really lovely Christmas and I hope 2009 brings you lots of love, happiness & peace.

Love and hugs :hug:

Beata xxx

I hope you all have an amazing, joyous Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter & happiness... may the New Year bring you all that you desire... you all deserve it :grouphug:

I am also on facebook... this is a link to me... add me if you like Lisa's Facebook

I will delete the link in the morning so I don't get any unwanted, outsiders trying to add me :)