thread: Feel empty & numb!!!

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Nov 2004
    Giving the gift of life to a friend..

    Feel empty & numb!!!

    I won't write too much at this stage, as I have so much work to catch up on!!! But I have lost the baby I wanted more than anything else in my life! Dh, has been so very kind, DD is confused & upset as I am.
    Had a Xmas party y'day & everyone was "Congratulating us!!!!" I was a blubbering mess & 2 cousins have recently had babies & 3 cousins wives are heavily preg!
    I just have massive breasts for no reason now!
    I just want time to hurry up, so we can try again...
    I have an U/S on Jan 4th (earliest we can get in!) to see how all is going... As on monday lunch time, I started bleeding heavily, went to hospital & spent the rest of the day there, hubby & Mum collected me that night, Maddy wanted to know where the baby was, we had to twell her it was not born, at that stage I was still preg, but had bad bleeding, was told to go home & bed rest, Tuesday I slept all day & Wed I saw my OB, he said all was Ok, but I needed to rest, that afternoon, I passed a lump, which I wook back to him on Thursday morning.... He is unsure, but no more sore Boobs, or ill feelings!!! I have had no pain, but bleeding stopped after passing the lump... He said I should have an U/S to confirm loss, but in 10+ days as I was so early preg... But can't get in until Jan 4th, so I guess I will know for certain then, but I just know!!!!!

    I will be around again, but just feel lost & unsure which site to visit!!!
    I will be around though!!!!

    I will change my sig too!!!!! Soon!????

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Nov 2004
    Chasing Daylight...

    Tracey I'm so sorry. I hope you can find support and strength through your loved ones and friends.


  3. #3

    Oh Barley. :hugs:

    Sorry to hear about what you have been through. You will find great support amongst these forums so please feel free to vent as much as you like.


  4. #4
    Registered User

    May 2004


    I am so sorry to read of your loss.
    You are in my thoughts.


  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jun 2004


    Sincere thoughts and wishes to you and your fmaily. I'm sorry to hear of it all.


  6. #6
    Registered User

    Apr 2003
    Western Australia


    HUGS to you and your family.

    I hope you are ok and that you get some definate answers soon.

    Best wishes

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Nov 2004
    Western Australia

    So so sorry Barley for what you are going through. You are in my thoughts. I hope you get some answers soon.


  8. #8
    Registered User

    Feb 2004

    Tracey so sorry to hear of your loss :hugs:

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Sep 2004
    Sydney's Norwest

    Tracey sorry to hear of your loss, What a pain for you to have to wait that long for a scan.

    Take care

  10. #10
    Registered User

    May 2004

    I am sooooo sorry to hear what you have just been through!
    I hope you get through this ok.


  11. #11
    Registered User

    Sep 2004

    Tracey & Gede

    Im so sorry to hear about your loss sweetheart. I know how much this meant to you and wish more than anything it hadnt have turned out this way. I wish there was something we could say to make it easier, but I know there isnt. Just know that you have a tonne of friends & support in here. :hugs:

    Take care.


  12. #12
    Registered User

    Nov 2004
    Giving the gift of life to a friend..

    I honestly do not know what I would do without all of you Ladies.

    You know a friend sat with me last week & told me in between her 2 daughters she lost twin boys at 19 wks. I had no idea...

    She told me something that made me realise how I feel too...

    This has taken away the innocence I had of..."this will never happen to me!"
    I had never realised how we have that subconcious thought of things never happening to us, now that it has, I realise it can & did!!!!

    She told me her following preg was a nightmare & when at 19 wks she started bleeding again, she was relieved thinking, well I knew this would happen. She went on to have a gorgeous daughter!!!!

    We will try again...... Hopefully early next year!!!!

    Thanks again!!!! I really needed you all!!!!!

  13. #13
    kirsty Guest

    Tracey am so very sorry to hear of your terrible loss. It is so not fair to lose something when we so badly want it. That is exactly how I felt when we lost our second child, a baby boy, at 18w5d. This was to be our family complete & all of a sudden it was not going to be. I also understand the taking away of the innocence of a PG, never again will I rest assured that all will be fine while I am PG.
    Here's to all the support that you need to get through this time.

  14. #14
    Melinda Guest

    Oh Tracey, I really am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your little one.

    I hope that you will lean on all of us for support so that we can help you through this difficult time.

    Thinking of you.......

  15. #15
    Senior Moderator

    Nov 2004

    Oh Tracey, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

    I'll say some prayers for you and your family.

  16. #16
    Registered User

    May 2004

    Tracey, I am so sorry for your loss. HUGE :hugs: to you, Gede and Maddison. If you need to talk at any time just remember we are all here for you and if you like you can always email me at any time. I am here for you.

    IKWYM and your friend when she said it takes the innocence out of pg. I too thought it would never happen to me, but unfortunatley it did.

    Take Care
    :hugs: again


  17. #17
    Registered User

    Sep 2004


    Must be so hard because you dont know for sure what is going on and what has happened. I hope that everything is ok and you can continue to steer clear of the chrissy drinks.

    One thing I have thought of to tell you, and by no means is this meant to get your hopes up or suggest anything, but a friend of mine suffered from what the doctor termed vanishing twin syndrome. Apparently she was pg with twins and at about 10 weeks she appeared to miscarry (at that stage she didnt know she was pg with twins). The doctor confirmed via testing what she passed that she had indeed miscarried, but a followup u/s showed a foetus still there. Apparently is quite common, and is only becoming more apparent due to increasingly early u/s's.

    However I really do hope that you have not mc'd at all and this is all just another one of those emotional rollercoaster big dippers.....

    Hang in there & do your best to enjoy chrissy (easier said than done, I know).


  18. #18
    Registered User

    Nov 2004
    Giving the gift of life to a friend..

    I guess I really won't know for certain until they do the U/s...
    But I just have this feeling, I will be elated if I am still preg, but I am not too hopeful or confident!!!!
    I tell ya, I will be over the moon to have an U/s showing a healthy bubba, but I just don't feel it!?

    I won't be partying anyways, we will be painting our new fence & gardening in our new home, we moved into it on Oct 4th..

    We have really achieved alot in the last 12 months I must say...... I guess that's something to be proud of???