thread: How did you choose to manage your missed miscarriage?

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2008
    216

    How did you choose to manage your missed miscarriage?

    Hi all,

    I have an appointment to see a specialist tomorrow to discuss my options - I have been monitoring a blighted ovum, and it's now at a point where the empty sac is measuring about 7 weeks, and I am about 10 weeks "pregnant". I have "known" that this pregnancy was non-viable since my first scan at 6 weeks, when the sac was measuring small and empty, but I have been waiting to be sure of the diagnosis.

    I am expecting the doctor to recommend a d&c, and because I've been dealing with this in my head for a month, I do feel ready - if that's even the right word - to move past this and make a fresh start. But the idea of such invasive surgical intervention screams against all my instincts. As hard as it is, I feel like I want to wait for a natural miscarriage. Anybody have an OBGYN who was supportive of this - and was it the best choice for you?

    I'm so very confused, but want to be somewhat prepared before I see the doctor tomorrow.



    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Central Coast NSW
    2,160

    Re: How did you choose to manage your missed miscarriage?

    My OB gave me a choice of a D&C or to wait to miscarry naturally. However, I chose a D&C as the baby had died 2-3 weeks earlier and there was no sign of it passing naturally yet. I needed an end to the pregnancy iykwim?

    My experience of the procedure was very positive (all things considered) and I found the emotional pain of the loss far worse than the small physical discomfort. I'm sure most OBs would respect your decision either way?

  3. #3
    Platinum Subscriber

    Apr 2010
    coastside, Vic
    2,172

    Re: How did you choose to manage your missed miscarriage?

    Both of mine I had a d&c, prefer to get it over with and move on. Best wishes x

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Member

    Jun 2013
    Katherine, NT
    226

    Re: How did you choose to manage your missed miscarriage?

    i let it happen naturally. sure it was harder as i had a constant reminder that it never continued to grow but i didnt feel right with removing something by force.

    it really is personal preference. i guess its really up to you and how you feel about waiting up to several weeks for it to happen naturally.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    In a house, on a hill with a big fat welcome mat!
    6,772

    Re: How did you choose to manage your missed miscarriage?

    I didn't have a choice as mine were spontaneous however, I think I definitely would have elected a D&C given a choice in your situation. 4 weeks is a long time for you to be working through this and it's such a hard place to be.
    Good luck with whatever you chose to do x

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2008
    Brisbane
    5,039

    Re: How did you choose to manage your missed miscarriage?

    Given your history I think my head would be ready for it to end, however if I had my time again I'd have waited. I didn't realise at the time I had a choice. I found out the baby was dead at 12 weeks (no heart beat) and had the d and c the next afternoon. I was a crazy emotional wreak, the 1st D&C left retained products and the 2nd D&C perforated my uterus! Was a hell 4-6weeks let me tell you. I'll always wonder how long it would have taken naturally and if I'd be strong enough to wait it out. Loss is always hard however you deal with it. Hugs hun

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Member

    Sep 2008
    Sydney
    1,413

    Re: How did you choose to manage your missed miscarriage?

    I had a D&C at 10 weeks pregnant and had found out at 8.5 weeks. I chose to get the D&C as I could not handle the waiting and felt like I needed to move on as was stuck in a state of limbo.

  8. #8
    BellyBelly Member

    Jul 2013
    Central Victoria
    220

    Re: How did you choose to manage your missed miscarriage?

    I had a d&c a few days after I was diagnosed with a MMC at 12 weeks. I don't think I could have mentally handled a natural miscarriage. Although I thought it was quite a serious procedure to have at the time, in hindsight it was quick and painless and I would definitely do it again if I had another MMC.
    Just as a side note, I'm convinced that it helped my 2nd conception happen much faster.

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2011
    SE Melbourne
    2,975

    Re: How did you choose to manage your missed miscarriage?

    I had a d&c at 9 weeks following a MMC - it was a week after the mmc was identified though. So I guess I had time to process it a bit... And I felt weird having the baby there... But not alive. So I was glad to have the d&c, I think dealing with the physical pain of a miscarriage as well would have been like salt in the wound.
    But everyone is different and only you can know what is right for you.

    So sorry you are going through this. Be kind to yourself. It's really traumatic. Xoxoxo

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2008
    216

    Re: How did you choose to manage your missed miscarriage?

    Thank you everyone for your stories. Wrangalove - you've helped me understand something I've been struggling to put into words. I've always had such faith in my body, with my first pregnancy and birth, and even with this conception - that my body knew/will know what it needs to do. All things being equal and barring an emergency situation etc, I just don't feel right interfering with this process. I have to ask the dr how safe it is for me to wait, and what the risks are.

    And I am not looking to TTC again for a little while - my life, excluding this experience, is a big old mess right now and I have lots of work to do to get happy and healthy physically and emotionally. I know there is no baby now, my body took in those cells, so I don't feel as thought I am carrying my baby. I think when I come to the right decision, if that is to wait, I'll be able to handle it emotionally - even though I would prefer it happen sooner rather than later, I will be more at peace with that than going against my instincts for a d&c.

    Thank you all again.