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Porshe thanks for thinking of me. Im off to Melbourne today hoping for a distraction.
Chepie - (i hope im spelling names right i hate not seeing the posts on my phone when you are replying)
We arent trying ... Although scary i would like to but not for a while
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Chepie - We are trying this month but not trying. What I mean is I have EWCM ATM so I'm in my fertile stage but DH doesn't know that lol. We'll just DTD and then I'll wait and see. Maybe I'll test maybe I won't :shrug:. I'm just temping and noting EWCM etc in FF so I know when AF is due not really because I expect a BFP.
We have fragmentation issues which is partly why we did IVF. I'm really just waiting for AF to arrive so I can start back on birth control and then we can start another full stim cycle.
Hi ladies hope everyone is going okay :grouphug:
Aaaaaaaggggghhhhh!
I just needed to get that out. I thought I was ok with it but maybe not. And so the double life begins again. The lif where you're living one reality and dreaming another. I should have been X weeks pg now, I should be doing X right now. Can't believe I am back here. Honestly from day to day I don't know how I feel. I can't acknowledge a feeling if I can't articulate it properly. I guess numb would be the right word.
This fracking sucks. I thought it couldn't happen to me. Then it did. Then I thought I was safe again, and so it happens again. Ah life, always there to kick you in the guts when you least expect it.
Oh forshelby! What the????
:( :( :( :(
Hi Girls....
Porsche - good luck secretly TTC'ing, I hope this is the month for you sweets.
Forshelby - big hugs, I am feeling the same, just when I think I'm ok something reminds me, I am surrounded by pregnant people at the moment, it's making my healing process very very difficult.
Chepie - how are you going?
AFM - I'm day 10 since my D&C and only just noticing that the bleeding may finally be stopping, it's never been much, but constant - just want it to end as it's a constant reminder of what happened last week! I've been up and down, but oddly just yesterday I had the strongest urge to get pregnant again, don't know if it's my subconcious trying to block out the pain but I really want it so bad, yet I'm too scared. I don't think I could cope with a 4th loss. Seeing the FS on Monday but I have to have a natural cycle before they'll start my next lot of treatment, goodness knows how long that will take. Is it possible to go straight back to a 28 ish day cycle after a D&C? I usually ovulate on Day 12 and don't know if it's my imagination but I swear I'm feeling the usual O twinges I get around that time....not EWCM though but bit hard when I'm still bleeding. Poor DH must be champing at the bit, he hasn't had any for a while but it's just bad luck buddy. Quite honestly it's the last thing I feel like at the moment. Also had a run in with one of my playgroup friends, she's very outspoken anyway but she's pregnant with number 2. First go.......due in April. Anyway I was telling them about a story a friend was telling me about, about this girl who has 5 kids already and got pregnant by accident with number 6 and can't even handle the ones she's got. So I was saying, not in a mean way but how I find that so frustrating hearing those stories when some of us are struggling so much etc etc and she let me have it! She said just because things aren't going my way doesn't mean I shouldn't make other people feel bad and she for one feels she can't be happy and excited about her pregnancy around me in case she offends or upsets me and so she's feeling really down in the dumps and bla bla bla.............WTF!!!!! I have NEVER made any of the 3 girls at pg feel uncomfortable about discussing their pregnancies around me, even though for the last 6 months and particularly last few weeks it's been particularly difficult. I was so upset, she had me in tears.........of course everyone else tried to downplay her comments as they must've felt bad for me but I am so annoyed I'm not going this week. I can't handle that attitude, how self centred and rude....and this is coming from someone who's had a miscarriage herself. Do people just forget what it's like or am I people over sensitive?!!! Grrrrr Rant over, thanks for listening. xx
Just dropping in. Porche, Alison & Chepie....Thinking of all you xx Hope you are doing ok.
Alison i'm sorry that some women are just nasty. I think some people don't care and some just prolly block out the heartache. I hope that she is nicer to you again. Don't feel like you aren't allowed to be upset because you totally are.
Wishing you all the best in the coming months and that you have PA's soon.
Hi Ladies
Forshelby - :hug:. I feel the same. You never think it will happen to you and then bam. You get through that and maybe had a baby and then bam another one. Very curel and it sucks.
Alison - :hug: to you. That is one reason why I don't join mothers groups, playgroups etc... Too much *****iness and competiveness. I can't handle it. And quite frankly can't be bothered with it. No one truly knows what you've been though until they walk in your shoes. She clearly has been bottling this up . If she had a problem then she should have spoken to you privately and with compasion. She sounds very insensitve. I'm getting your not 'best friends' with this woman? What is her problem?
In saying all that though maybe she has some concerns of her own? Maybe she has had a scare or something? I don't know. Just trying to look at boh sides of the fence.
I don't think your being over sensitive you are still grieving. I'd have been the same way. Except I probly would have told her a few choice words.
Kirley - Hi. Thanks for checking on us. I'm doing better. Hoping AF arrives in 14 days to get back on the IVF rollercoater. I hope things are well with you.
Hi Porsche - I've known this girl since Amelia was born, so just over 2 years, she's had a miscarriage herself but she's very strong minded and opinionated, not the sort who is what I call maternal, put it this way, she fell pregnant first try this time around and the first thing she was doing was complaining because she didn't expect it to happen straight away and misses out by a month on claiming the Govt paid maternity leave scheme......my heart bleeds for you, not! ha ha...I told her I was upset with her comments and I don't feel they were justified as I've never made any of them feel uncomfortable, in fact, I've felt they have carried on as usual without even acknowledging my situation most of the time. It's all fine, it will go on like nothing happened as she's the type to say what she thinks and think nothing of it. Needless to say I'm skipping it this week and meeting another friend who's going through fertility as well, best being around her at the moment ha ha. Will this be your first AF then yes? How long has it been as I am hoping to get mine after 4 weeks, I swear I'm ovulating any day as usual, hope it's not my imagination.
Alison - Yes this will be my first AF after the D&C. In total if she arrives on the 28th will be a 40 day cycle. But I'm not too hopeful she'll arrive by then. Praying like no tomorrow though.
Hi Girls how are we all?
I am Day 11 today since the D&C and the bleeding is almost gone now, just a bit of brown spotting. I usually ovulate around Day 12 and I swear I'm having ovulation pain today, but I did an HPT out of interest to see if the HCG has gone and it's still positive, not dark but not super faint either. Is it possible to still ovulate if you have a little HCG in your system? I know the tests are sensitive but everything I read says that your cycles won't go back to normal until all the HCG is out of your system, so wondering what this ovulation pain is......
Hi Ladies
Alison - I was told you won't O untill you levels are back to base line so 0. I have O type pains ATM but I don't think they are. I can't describe or even guess as to what theyr are. Very frusterating.
Bummer.....but I figured as much, thanks Porsche. Have you had your levels checked then? They aren't going to do mine, I just did a HPT out of interest, I have no idea what my HCG levels were when I had the D&C, they were at 20,000 when I had the scan, but bub didn't pass until another week and a half after that so not sure if my levels continued to rise until the D&C as they never checked them again. You're right though, it's very very frustrating isn't it. After my chemicals AF came 28 and 30 days later but being early on I guess you wouldn't expect it to upset the apple cart so much.
Hi Ladies
Alison - No they aren't checking my levels again. They didn't last time either lol. I haven't POAS either to see if my levels are back. I guess I'm too scared to do one incase there is a BFP and then I'll start to panic about why my levels aren't falling. Never ending worry lol. My leves were around the 6000 mark when I had my 3rd blood test at 6 weeks 1 day and they hadn't doubled so I think my levels were falling back then. I just have to be patient and sit it out and see what happens lol. What other choice do I have?
It happened again. I had a massive bleed yesterday and ended up in hospital on a drip. U/s confirmed the baby is gone. I just dont know where to go from here :(
Oh Freya. I'm so sorry :comfort:
Freya :cry: :hug:
Freya i am so sorry
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