A missed miscarriage...

Janeo,
I am so sorry for your loss, but you are not alone. I also had a missed miscarriage this past October. I went in for my first ultrasound at 9 weeks only to be told the baby did not have a hearbeat. the baby measured at 9 weeks so it was as if this just happened. I had no signs no cramping or bleeding... I was shocked to say the least. I opted to take the natural route and it was a long agonizing 2 weeks before my baby passed on October 26th, but i am glad I waited because i just didn't feel comfortable with D&C. It has been 8 weeks since my miscarriage and i am still bleeding lightly..My OB said it is due to me just shedding the uterine lining very slowly and did a cleaning procedure in the office along with 10 days of Provera to help. Hopefully this will get things back on track for me as everyday that i see this light flow is a constant reminder and makes it hard to try to move on. I wish you the best for the future. I know that this is a very hard time for you because it has been the hardest thing i have ever been through in my life but time will make you stronger.

;) Fi... i just checked out your new addition what a cutey..

Im glad i opened mine early cos it had a present for the baby and i was able to put it away now rather then recieve it christmas morning...

Jane, Hun I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious angel. I am sending you huge huge hugs and will be thinking of you.

I am sure your precious angel is with your pop pop and they will both help you when the time is right for another precious bub.

Goodluck sweety:hug:

Well i went to see the dr who had seen me at casualty on Sunday he didnt realise that i already knew and had seen my normal dr.. So that was a bit frustrating.. He spoke to us about our decision to let it go naturally but this worried him and he went over the chances of it not completing which my other dr hadnt as i had been sooo upset it was too hard to take in.. So anyway i told him how i didnt want the D & C especially from the surgeon in town i dont like him and have heard some horror stories about him and we have no other options small town thing...

But he has told me about these tablets that he inserts in my vagina and it will then happen in the next few hrs or so.. I will have to be admitted for some of the day but at least it will be over with and we know that it will be over and not go on for too long or not know when it will end.. So at this stage if it hasnt happened by Friday morning im going in to get this done...

So hopefully i can get on with grieving and we can try and get back to being as normal as possible..

Hey Jane,
If he is talking about misoprostal, thats what I had to take just before my D&C. Its apparently part of the abortion pill medication. They wanted me to "loosen" everything up for them, it improved the odds of them cleaning me out properly.
I had to put them in at 5am, and report at the hospital by 8am. Until then my bleeding was very minimal, actually just brown mucus when I wiped. And I was 3w missed, so things were going very, very slowly for me.
About 2hrs after I inserted them, I got really bad cramping and the bleeding got really, really heavy. So I probably starting to pass everything before theatre, but thats OK I guess.
Its probably not a bad thing for him to suggest, you can do the pills yourself though I would think, and you might find things re a bit more gentle for you since you have already passed quite alot.
Big hugs again.

Oh Jane, I am so so sorry :hugs:

Thanks Fi... I think he wants to monitor me incase i lose to much blood or something goes wrong.. That is the name of the drug they are giving me.. Yeah my bleeding has gone back to brown only when wiping with the odd fresh blood.. Unlike last night

Another question when will the rest of body go back to "normal" i mean i my bbs are still large with enlarge aoela which i didnt have prior to pg.. The dark hair line had appeared i cant even look at my body at the moment its just a reminder that these things are fake and pointless...

Dear Jane

Please know that I am so sorry for the loss of you dear little angel baby. You are in my thoughts hunny, just hang in there sweeting. Sending you the biggest warmest :hug: your way.

Love
Spring Angel

Oh Jane, I am so sorry for your loss. I have tears in my eyes reading over all this and still cant believe that this is happening to you *hugs* Your much loved baby is looking over you in heaven and when the time is right, he/she will bring you another lil bundle of joy to you and Andrew.
Remember, that you and Andrew are in my thoughts and if you ever need to talk, I am here for you *huge hugs*

Jane....so sorry honey for the loss of your much loved and wanted little one. Such a sad time, but your little angel will be with you always and will watch over you and guide you through lifes journey.

Take Care. X

Janeo, :hug: again my love.
Your body will over the next 2-3 weeks return to it's usual state. Once the HCG and Progesterone levels drop your breasts will lose their pregnant state. I know for me I have felt when going through this that I just want to go to sleep and wake again in 6 weeks when I will be starting to feel better. I imagine that you may be feeling something like that too.
Let us all hold your hand as you go through this time. Thinking of you... :hug:

I am really sorry for your loss Jane. :hugs:

So i rang the dr today and we are going with the tablets Friday morning i go in.. Feeling a bit reliefed iykwim i know now it will be all over and i can try and enjoy christmas the best i can.. I spoke to a friend today who is 7 mths pg she was sooo sad for me she said she felt guilty about her pg that upset me cos i was sooo excited about her pg and still am cant wait to meet her bundle.. Im still finding it hard to think about my other friend who announced her pg the day i started bleeding she is due start of August and we would have been 3 weeks apart i really want to see her but i can bring myself to ring her i cant see her or her daughter to hard and raw...

Good news for you Jane. Hopefully will help you move on in a physical way.
As for your friends - if they say they are sorry - they really are. While it might seem hard to see them, if they are offering a shoulder, you should take it.
Bec was a godsend to me during my miscarriage. She just did everything right from sitting down to cry with me, to opening yet another bottle of wine ;) Friends are important, and it will take some of the pressure off DP.

Thinking of you tomorrow :( It will be hard day. Take a Ipod or something like that and just blast music in your ears.

Jane I will be thinking about you and Andrew over christmas and hope that you wont suffer too much pain tomorrow :hug: xxx

Tina

Janeo - am sending you more hugs and kisses and cuddles and squeezes and praying that you will be able to grieve properly and fully so you can feel closure at the end of all that you have to go through. You are an amazing woman whom I have enjoyed chatting with and I look forward to checking up on you and pray that your little miracle bundle of blessing will warm your home soon!! More kisses to your little angel forever showering their mummy and daddy with love and guidance.

xx take care sweety xx praying that you are able to still have a lovely Christmas xx

Hi Jane,

I hope things are all over as quickly as possible tomorrow and you can go home and sleep. You need to look after yourself well and stay healthy.

Everyone will understand if you want to be alone or if you want to be with your friends so just worry about you and Andrew for now and do whatever it takes to feel as well as can be expected.

I will be thinking about you and hope to hear that you are okay soon.

Jane,
There is nothing I can say that the lovely girls on here havent. But your body plays horrible tricks on you after a miscarriage and it sometimes makes you feel justified that you were pregnant after alot of people forget.
Hope tomorrow is not too painful and the wonderful weeks that you and DP have had with your little one are etched in your memory...and they will be forever.
Bec

Sending you love today Jane... :hug:

Thinking of you today, hun.

Thinking of you today Jane.....

I have a friend who would have been due only four weeks before me (she is just about to give birth). I found it very difficult to see her or speak to her for awhile. I sent her an email telling her what had happened and asked her not to call me or come over, I would contact her when ready. I'm sure that was hard for her, but it was the best thing for me, and I really appreciate that she did what I asked.

I'm sure your pg friend will understand if you need to take some time.

Please let us know how you are :hug:

Jane, you and Andrew are in my thoughts today and over the next few days. I hope that everything goes as best as it can. *hugs*

Hi Jane, I am so very sorry for your loss, I am just getting over my 3rd so know exactly where you are at. I had my D&C on Monday, only because I needed to move on. You must do what is right for you and DH. Look after each other at this difficult time.

With love

Awww Jane I am so sorry that I didn't see this earlier.
I am deeply, deeply sorry for your loss. I enjoyed sharing your TTC journey so it pains me to find out that you lost your precious bubba.
Huge hugs matey.

Hey Jane - how was today? Absolutely awful or bearable?
Thinking of you.
Fi

Really bearable i ended up having a d and c in the end when we went in this morning he said that it might take more then two tablets and it might take a day or so, so he said he would book me in for d and c just incase for later in the arvo but could only fit me in at 12 so i had tablets inserted then had it.. It went really well i feel surprisely at ease and in some ways very happy which makes me feel very guilty but im soo glad i had it i can enjoy my christmas and i feel like i can move on now not in limbo anymore.. Not having too mush pain heat pack is my best friend and still dizzy after anthestic and bleeding steady Andrew has been my ROCK i love him more then i thought i ever could it has made us stronger the baby made our love different but this LOVE is different again...

I had a talk to Andrew last night and told him i want to start trying after my first period this made him a little uneasy he doesnt want a dec baby which suits me so we will try and if nothing by March have a rest for the month then start again.. We are going to take a holiday on April.. But again i might change my mid again who knows..

Thank you all for your support you girls are amazing and sooo helpful for me over the last week.. Oh and i have asked my friends to come and visit me tomorrow even the pg one i really want her support and i can cuddle her 14 mth old plus i have a present for another friends bub i give them a present for there 1st christmas only.

So glad it went so smoothly for you Jane. Good luck tomorrow with your friends. I am sure they'll appreciate the opportunity to help you grieve your bubba. Huge hugs once again.

Jane, I am so glad it all went as smoothly as possible for you babe. Be kind to yourself, relax and pamper yourself over the xmas period.

You sound amazingly positive, and I hope that all goes well with your TTCing next year.

Take care hun, and have a lovely Xmas.

Good on you Jane. I'm pleased you feel a little more at peace. Its a hard time of year, but friends can help you - regarldess of the child status. Its all about support.
Fi

Janeo you're truly an amzing woman - you and Andrew are an inpsiration and a fantastic example of how a truly loving relationship should be!!
Here's to you having a relaxed and peaceful Christmas - and snuggle your friends baby tightly and know that your miracle is around the corner.

Luv ya!! Mwa!!

Merry Christmas!!

Jane, I'm so glad it well as well as possible, and that you feel the day will help you to move on somewhat. I'm so glad your Andrew has been fantastic, my Andrew was too! I know what you mean about it changing and strengthening your love.

Please be kind to yourself, and Andrew, look after one another. I hope you have a lovely peaceful Christmas, and can enjoy the support of family and friends.

Please know that we are here for you whenever you need anything :)

Jane, reading your story brings back all the pain of my missed m/c.... I found out I had lost my bubba at my 12 wk (at 11w 6d) - I didn't have any signs or any hint at what I was about to be told. It rocked my world in the most horrendous way. But now I am doing ok & TTC another bub. My BF was due 3 wks after I would have been & I still find that very hard.... You will be ok though & will get through it & I hope it is not long at all before you & DH can look forward to welcoming another dear baby into this world. It really is unfair what some of use have to go through but in the end I think it makes us stronger/ better people who take nothing for granted. All the best & MERRY CHRISTMAS to you!!!!

Jane. honey I have only just spotted this.... I am SO sorry sweetheart. I just cant explain just how unfair it all is and just how angry I get knowing such beautiful people have to go through this so unneccesarily...

I hope that putting your thoughts and feelings in writing helps. I know it has for me in the past... I would love to also give a big hug to both you and Andrew - he sounds as though he has been great support for you, which really muct be so hard for them when they deal with their own feelings too - sounds as though you have yourself a bit of a find there.

I wish I had some magic words of comfort, but as I know there are none all I can offer you both is :hugs:

thinking of you...

Thankyou all.. Mummyto1 my friends visiting was a lovely time. Fussing over there kids plus i was cramping badly kept me distracted she is taking it hard i think feels guilty that she is doing whatever eating whatever and i was sooo careful she has a 14mth old girl Leah so busy with her...

I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A GREAT CHRISTMAS AND GOT LOTS OF PRESENTS!!

Unfortunately it hasnt gone smoothly at all i have been in a lot of pain cramping on and off since Friday. I ended up back at casualty Saturday night with cramping and passing more product and bleeding heavly all late arvo. He checked me out and found that my uterus was contracting again passing more of the sack they obviously didnt get it all. Gave me a pencillon injection for good measure and sent me home with directions if i got worse or still bleeding heavly the next arvo to come back.. Plus to add to it i was consipated. So christmas eve Sunday i was still unwell feeling faint and tired not to much cramping only a bit in the morning.. Starts bad again about 9pm and had passed some large long pieces of sack rang dr and he said it was good that i had passed these things and that there shouldnt be much more.. Panadiene forte my best friend along with wheat pack. Bad sleep cramped pretty much all night slept for a few hrs at a time.. Christmas morning i woke to my beautiful Andrew holding my present in front of me and silver locket and a November birth stone angel pin. Then out to his Brothers and Sil for presents nice to see my niece but very hard to see my pg sil. Home again presents with my family great presents!! I brought mum and dad and Andrews parents a willow tree Angel of Remembrence.. Few tears.. prepared lunch had lunch and went down hill bed ridden with cramping more to do with consipation then bleeding/cramping.. As the night came i improved a bit.. Have had a good day today only some bleeding and a few cramps this arvo although just passed either a 20 piece blood clot or product.. So that was my christmas sad and painful so hears to 2007!!! Oh then to top off my day our neighbour (also a good friend) came over and told us they are pg due 3 days after i would have been she wanted us to find out from her not from anyone else which was nice but tears came back first real cry since Thursday so probably needed ( would have been sooo nice being pg together and have our children grow up together i had actually guessed a week or so ago that she was pg).. Andrew is doing it tough really wants me to get better hates seeing me in soo much pain plus i think it has hit home.. PREGNANT AND YOUNG BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!!!!! Trying to talk him into going away next weekend to maybe Melb and staying in a hotel for new yrs just spend time together but he wants to do it here so will wait and see..

Hi Jane,

Rowie again, just reading your post above and I can so relate. Remember your hormones have kicked in (I forgot about them) you will cry and there is nothing quite like that crying hangover.
I saw two girlfriends on Christmas Eve, both of which are pregnant, one due 2 days before our date... I could not believe how hard I took the news, one I don't see often but the other I see a lot of and I can just feel myself pushing her away.

Go out with your DH, just for dinner, get away from your four walls and just talk to each other and let each other know how you are feeling. He is so worried about you and doesn't know how to make it better....

take care of yourself and enjoy New Years, bring on 2007 I say.

really sorry to hear your loss just try and be as strong as ever and everything will work out ok. xxxx

Janeo
I am soooo sorry to hear your news *hugs darlin* I have not been online for over a week so had not seen your posts until now.
I hope you are doing alright. I will look out for you on msn later ...
Take care of yourself
xxxxxx

Janeo,
I just wanted to send you a hug... :hug: I am so sorry things have been so tough. I hope you did go away for the New Year just to get away from it all.
Big hugs and I hope that this New Year brings wonderful things for you...

Hi Janeo,
I'm so sorry for your loss ;-( It's a very hard time. I had exactly the same thing as you last week. I thought we were 11.5 weeks but after a visit to casualty and an ultrasound following some brown then bright red bleeding, I knew on the monitor it wasn't big enough for 12 weeks, even before she said anything. I know it's very hard. Thinking back I also lost symptoms and I think part of me knew earlier that bubs was there no more. My husband got excited on Christmas Day and told all his family just 2 days before the bleeding. The course of my m/c sounds exactly like yours. I let it come naturally, and had the same product, cramping and constipation as you. I wish I had read this post earlier so I could've taken some comfort knowing that what I was going through was normal, and to have offered some prayers for you as well. But I hope you're taking care of yourself and allowing your partner to take care of you too. I wish you all the luck in the world for 2007.:goodluck: Best wishes,:goodluck:
Rach

Jane,
I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself at this time.
Jen