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Thread: (Advice) Thinking of approaching my MIL to care for my kids on a paid basis

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Newport, VIC

    Default (Advice) Thinking of approaching my MIL to care for my kids on a paid basis

    Hello Ladies,

    DH and I are tossing up what we do re: childcare when I return to work next year. We are moving house shortly so keeping DS1 at his current centre isn't an option as its too far away. The area that we are moving to has lots and lots of young families so the wait for childcare is a mile long. The family day care worker I spoke to at the council indicated they may never have a place for me.

    DH and I have considered hiring a nanny in our own home, but our finances don't really extend that far. We have a contact for someone that cares for kids on a "cash" basis that seems appealing. She has cared for other families we know and they all love her to death.

    It came to me that my MIL would be ideal to approach, rather than a stranger. MIL is thinking of retiring from work in the next few years. I trust her implicitly with my children. She is very respectful of how we parent and is very, very good with DS1. I get along well with her and we have common views on life. She is also very supportive of us in a practical sense - chucks a load of washing on, wipes the benches almost unconsciously and sweeps the floor with DS1.

    However I'm not so naive to think that there can't be any bad side to this arrangement. I'm guessing differences of opinion, times she is sick...

    What are people's thoughts? Does anyone do something like this? What are potential pitfalls I should be thinking about?


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Cairns QLD


    Sounds like a good plan.
    I guess the only thing to worry about is that things are kept somewhat professional. Make sure there is a clear line about when she is paid to be there etc. What your expectations are while she is there eg: cleaning, cooking etc.

    Really though it sounds like it could be perfect.

  3. #3


    FiL (and so MiL as well) have Liebling sometimes for us. Good side is relationship with grandparents. Bad side is backup for holidays/sickness. Or MiL changing her mind about things.

    PiL are pretty fabulous with Liebling. They are both retired and love having him around. They don't do things the same as me, but I don't have a problem with what they do. They also have him some evenings for me, usually when DH and I both have to work in the evening, which a normal centre won't do.

    If PiL were to be Liebling's only carers, I'd consider having us all live together as a big family unit. That way everything would be consistant and illness wouldn't matter so much: they're still technically on-hand if needed. Just having a snuggly TV day.

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