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JF thank you for all the info you have shared, you have been very generous with your time in the detailed responses! The only question I have is whether your entire day from waking to bed is spent unschooling, or do you have breaks within the day where the kids go and jump on the trampoline or ride their bikes or whatever? What I mean to ask is, do you have structured learning times or do you just follow the day and see how it goes? I hope that makes sense...
Sure, ask away, I am happy to answer most anything. I do feel a bit weird answering for him but he has read this thread and expressed how proud he is of my ability to communicate about it and given me the green light so here goes. His opinion is very important to me and I wouldn't be doing this without his support. He basically thinks it is brilliant similar to the way I do and is involved as much as possible. It was something we researched, discussed and decided together. He is very thankful that our girls are not tied to a school schedule particularly because he usually starts work at 3pm and so would miss out on seeing them a whole lot of the week. On the opposite side of that, it means he is able to have a very active role in it all and can attend most of the co-op gatherings too so it works really well for us in that sense. He enjoys having so much family time to share his passions with the girls. We love our life; it is busy but not rushed and it is happy and peaceful and fun.:
On the other question; no I don't intend to have paid employment for the next however long and I also have not had paid employment the previous 5 years, since before DD1 was born. I'm not sure if you were wondering his opinion about that too but it has never been an issue, he values and appreciates the things that I do for our family and sees that as more important than having another paycheck at this point in our lives (his words).
I strongly disagree with unschooling because I think it is really unfair on kids not to let them experience going to school. I think it socially isolates them and I think they are missing out. Yes, I also disagree with home schooling, except for in some particular circumstances. By research, do you mean google research? Or are you asking if I have studied education at university?:
It was a lucky day for there to be an unschooling thread because my girls are enjoying time with Grandma and I do love to write and talk about life and learning so really it is my pleasure to share and I will continue to answer questions as best I can, the rate of response might slow down very shortly though (enjoying a night with my partner once he gets in from work and then the kids will be back tomorrow morning).:
Our entire day is spent unschooling, our entire life is - from wake up to bed we are taking advantage of opportunities to learn and grow (and even in our dreams, I have the best dreams). There is no formal structured forced learning so nothing to have a break from. When we are on the trampoline we are unschooling, when we ride bikes we are unschooling, when we cook or clean or chat and joke or have tickle fights that is all part of unschooling. Whatever we are doing is unschooling. We do just follow the day and see where it goes but in a very intentional way, we do try to make the most of our days, make them purposeful and meaningful (but that could be laying in eating pancakes, nurturing relationships is big meaningful). There is no distinction between life and learning, we do both together all the time. We learn through our life and we build a life that inspires us to learn. Does that answer the question?
Our trampoline and bikes do get used everyday, although DD1 prefers her skateboard :)
The same could be said about any child. My children do things others might not. Children in some schools would miss out on things done in other schools and vice versa. There is no cookie cutter life that everybody gets to experience exactly the same (and how brilliant is that). It does nobody good to focus on what they are missing out on; "comparison is the thief of joy" -- Theodore Roosevelt. School can also be socially isolating, being surrounded by people is not the same as being socially nurtured.:
My ds has a specialist Indonesian teacher who has lived in Indonesia and whose husband is Indonesian. This is the sort of teaching and learning that you are not letting your kids experience.
Lots of kids don't experience that though. Where I went to school I had a French teacher for a few years, she was not at all a great teacher and I barely learnt any of the language. I've never again learnt another language. The opportunity your DS has won't be available to many children that do go to mainstream schooling, and other kids will have opportunities that your DS doesn't - ability to work closely with animals, learn about farming, etc.:
Also, this is only a fantastic opportunity if it's something the kids are actually interested in. Maybe your DS is, and it will help him in future by making him more employable overseas. If it were me though, I wouldn't care who my Indonesian teacher was. I'd learn it because I had to, but language doesn't interest me. It'd be a total wasted opportunity.
Unschooling parents are in a position to recognise this and pursue the opportunities that do matter to their children. If I were an unschooler and my children expressed an interest in Indonesian, I'd teach them everything I could through my own research, and I would seek an expert for tutoring or similar to teach what I couldn't.
Or maybe an unschooling parent would go and take an extended holiday there. I certainly can't see that it is a restrictive approach at all. In fact if different languages are the thing, schools are quite restrictive in that they limit to two or three at most and they may not be the ones of most interest to your child for whatever reason (family connections, interest in specific place etc).:
How would my ds even know that there was a place called Indonesia in the first place if he was unschooled? All he would know would be our suburb! How would he express an interest in Indonesia if he never even knew it existed? His teacher has been wonderful and introduced him to things I never could have. That is such a valuable experience for him!
My DD is only 2.5 and knows a little about Germany. This is because four of her great-grandparents are German and lived in a German-settled town that we regularly visit. There is any number of ways that various interests can crop up, kids pick up on tiny little details if it interests them. Maybe she'll see a picture in the newspaper I'm reading and ask about it. Maybe it's the Malaysian plane thing so I tell her, and maybe this leads to a conversation about Malaysia, or planes and aviation, how the black box works etc (I'm thinking older here, not 2.5!).
And we do exactly the same thing here outside of school hours. My kids are constantly learning and following their interests. They also get to go to school though.
I think that's fine. It's what we do (will do when the kids are at school age) but I in no way go in to it to the level an unschooler would. Because I'll be at work and they'll be at school, we just won't have the time to pursue these types of interests the way an unschooler could.
What about all the fun stuff you used to get up to at school? The laughter and the mischief with your friends. Your kids will never have those memories.
I'm getting the impression from this post you haven't read some of my previous replies because they address this notion and that does make me less inclined to address things further. One in particular was about strewing in response to a question you asked me about introducing things to our children. Strewing is essentially leaving things in your child's path to discover; it could be anything from books to music to artwork, anything. An unschooling parents role is to ensure a child is surrounded by rich and interesting and varied things to discover. We have a map and a globe and an atlas. We play global music. We bring art from many lands and cultures into our home. I myself know another language. Why would all a child ever know about be their suburb? That sounds like an incredibly sad environment for a child to grow up in with or without school.:
There are many places to learn a language outside of school. There are online programs, there are physical programs run out of language schools (in and out of school hours, some specifically for home educators and others not), there is family and friends and of course, there is the wonderful opportunity to immerse yourself in an entire culture and learn from actually visiting a place for an extended period. Schools do not have the monopoly on experts or learning, they are one option in the sea of many.
I've read what you've written, don't worry. I'm just finding the whole thing incredibly hard to believe. I think what you're doing probably works quite well with children the age of yours, but I think you will start running into problems over the next few years. I think they will get bored and at some stage wonder why you've stopped them from enjoying the experience of going to school and having meaningful connections with their peers and the wider community
I mentioned my girls and Heaven's girls were video messaging each other earlier this week. They laugh, they get up to mischief, they once (along with some other friends too) exploded a room in my house with playdough and waterbeads and coloured rice so badly that I shut the door on it and didn't face it for 3 days lol. I also mentioned that at our co-op yesterday (there was about 20 children) my DD and some other friends there were off making a fairy headquarters inside a tree they climbed. They played tiggy, they looked for tadpoles. My daughters spend time with other kids frequently and they could more often too, there is plenty of things we don't attend because they also like some time just at home doing their own thing or with their family. They are just as capable of making memories as anybody else, "it's not where but who you are with that matters" - school is not a prerequisite for laughing mischievous memories.:
What is to stop them from playing on their wii all day, if that's where their interest leads them?
Ginger out of interest do you have close family or friends who unschool? Have you first hand experience of the 'problems' with unschooling?