Premmie Mums #8

hi Ashlee Ava was due on the ninth of June so she came 14 weeks and 1 day early. At 15.5mnths( 12 mnths corrected )she is nearly walking and is putting 2-3 words together already. her weight is somewhere between 7 and 7.4 kgs small i know but she is around 75cm long. Very petite with a smallish head. Developmentally she is above average, so even the little itti bitti ones do well. So far so good for us. I strongly believe that if you feed them anything and we don't hold back on the fat, they thrive. unless of course NEC or other illnesses due to feeding present a problem. We call Ava 'iron guts'. becos she can handle any food thrown her way.LOL Blake is adorable BTW.

Just to let you know i took Nixon back to the docs today as he has gotten worse and i was quiet worried about him through the night.
He now has broncitis. his cough is so hard to hear makes me wanna cry everytime i hear him cough. I got home from work to pick him up and he barely could manage a smile for me. Mum minded him all day and said he slept about 5hrs through out the day. Ate a little and by arvo was quiet lathargic. His eyes were all red and heavy. I was up every 3-4 hrs trying to help him with panadol/nurofen, vicks on the chest, vaporizer, cough releif etc.

today he has slept for about 5hrs during the day again and as we hit the arvo he has gone downhill. I put him in the shower this arvo so the steam might help and he sat there with his head down, eyes shut and did not move the whole time. he just wanted to cuddle into me while drying him, went straight to bed at 5pm. woke at 6pm he had a little to eat and drink and fell asleep in my arms again by 6.45pm.

i spent 3 hrs this arvo cleaning the house like its prob never been cleaned before. i cleaned all of nixon's toys to then asked MIl not keep the animals downstairs for the rest of the day. only to then find the cat in nixons cot......

so anyway in the last 7 weeks since moving nixon has had a cold, middle ear infection, conjunctivitis, hand foot and mouth and now broncitis.
He hasnt been this sick since he was a newborn in NICU and i am convinced it is the living environment. I am fed up with it and currenlty looking for a place to rent.

Tiff i hope IVY is going ok and getting better.

Oh Nic!
I'm so sorry to hear that you and little Nixon are having such a terrible time of it.
Poor little guy. I hope he gets better soon.
All my love to you both.

Nic - I'm so sorry Nixon is so sick, the poor little sweety. I feel awful for him, especially for how he was in the shower, I just want to give him a hug.
I suppose the whole move and change in environment was very big for Nixon - perhaps stress has effected his immune system?
I really feel for you hun, it is just so awful when your little one is sick. I hope that you can find your own place really soon.

Hi girls
My first time in a forum. Hope this is the right one for me. My daughter was born on the 25th of Jan this year on 34 weeks. She was 1.375kg and beautifull!!!! So small and perfect. She is now five and a half and tips the scale on 4.8kg. We are so proud to be parents of this little mirical. She is my first, so I have a lot of questions and doubts about how I am caring for her. She's on formula now, but I am thinking of switching because she stays restless and her poop is kind of watery. She is also knawing on her bottom lip like crazy, but I can't see any swelling. We are having daycare problems, because she is demanding. She loves being on the arm and can't keep herself bussy for more than five minutes. Are little ones suppose to keep themselves bussy?!? (I don't think so - isnt it my job as mom to play with her?) Are a five month old prem suppose to sit quiet in her pram for half an hour? That's the feeling I got from her daymother. The woman told me she is not taking care of her anymore! Lucky for me, my mother is on vacation and is look after her for this week. Next week it's of too a new daycare. Hating myself for not being able to stay at home and look after her myself. Feeling very overwelmed at this stage, because we had a tough year so far. Any survival tips are welcome!!
Have a great day
Ps. How do I post a picture of her on my signature?

Hi Nadine,
Welcome to our little group.
Congrats on the birth of your daughter. She sounds as though she is doing well with her weight.
I'm sorry that you are going through a hard time with day care. That woman sounds as though she doesn't know the normal habits of a baby, so your daughter is better for having your Mum with her at the moment.
My prems certainly didn't entertain themselves at that age for any length of time without becoming cranky and agitated and tired as well.
I know the feeling of self doubt, especially with littlies. It sounds as though you are doing a great job though.
Hope to get to know you better. We have a good group of girls here, with loads of experience so don't be shy in asking questions. We are here to support each other.

Tiggy,

Thank heavens, I am SO glad to hear that she is not really "abnormal". I'm not sure if any of you are working, but I would like to know how long does it take for them to adjust to new surroundings? If by a month she's still not happy in daycare, do I need to maybe change, because she is not getting along with the caregivers?

How much of prems were your twins - love the picture of them in the bath!

Hi Nadine,
Ivy and Noah were 30 weekers.
We have prems that range from 24 weekers right up to 37 weekers in here.
I was working but have just resigned because it was too much.
I would give it a month though, unless you have a gut feeling that something is wrong.

Hi Nadine and welcome to the group! What is your daughters name? Where are you from? And what is your story, why did she make an early entrance?
My son was born at 33weeks, dure to premature Rupture of Membranes.
he could not self entertain at 5months actual either.
He didnt really start to enjoy playing on his own until he could sit up by himself and grab toys.
This is a great support thread so look forward to getting to know you

Nickers & Tiggy
Thanx for the welcome. Ok let me introduce myself.

My daughter's name is Lelani. I am from South Africa and live in a town very near to Cape Town, about 20 minutes drive. That is also why my spelling would not always be spot on, my first language is Afrikaans. I have a loving husband (though not always as helpfull as I would want, but loving and caring non the less - great dad). I became pregnant with my first child last year on the 16th of June. I can remember the date, because it was exactly one month and a day after I stopped taking my pill (Yes, he can't stop bragging, as if he did it by himself) I was a bit shocked when it happend so fast, but happy and excited.

I had the most wonderfull pregnancy ever. No morning sickness, no moods, no bloating, no heartburn, no swelling. I did not even begin to show until five months. I looked forward being huge and pregnant and having a normal brith. I had energy to spare and still went to the gym three times a week, worked till 11 at night (my hubby has a store in town - I am the "moneycounter") Why couldn't there have been a red light telling me that it was to good to be true?

The $@%* hit the fan on the 8th of Jan. My gyne told me the baby was small/not growing. I was on 30/31 weeks, her growth was on 28 weeks. I was scared and took a week sickleave for bedrest. The problem was that I was feeling great, she moved a lot and I am a woman. Bedrest? Please?!? We went back the 16th and he put me in hospital for ... bedrest. He also told me he was worried about Lelani, she was still on 28 weeks. I went to a lady that spesialise in fetusses. I have never in my life been as scared as I was on the drive over. All the while thinking someting is wrong with her. Long story short, turns out I had a bad plasenta. Did not have enough bloodflow to make her grow, but she was normal. It was nothing I could have prevented - just bad luck. (I don't drink or smoke)

My gyne would not let me go home. Told me that I can make myself comfy, I would be going home when the baby comes. HUGE Sigh!! My husband just started a new business and he was home alone managing the shop. It was going to be a looooong month and a half (she was supposed to come the 8th of March) I had not even started the babyroom!! Did not even had a hospitalbag or nothing. I was in a state. I cried most of the time and has never in my life felt as sick as I was in the hospital. I complained about gas - feeling as if my diaphragm has split open, I had headach 90% of the time, my tummy was upset and I did not feel like eating. I even puked, something that I hate doing. I was put on IV for two days. Nine days in hospital I had a bad night. Was up all night walking like the living dead, feeling bloated and being sick. That morning my husband came in at five for a supprised visit. I broke down - told him I am telling my gyne to take her out, I have had it!! I was 33 and a half week pregnant. He laughed almost as hard as the gyne. The dr told me that if nothing is endangering her of my life, he were not going to take her out. (Ok to be fair, I knew that was what he would say and I understand that best place for baby is in mommy)

The same afternoon (about 17:00) the headnurse came to check my bloodpressure - routine check. It was sky-high. Never had problems, but she called the dr. They gave me something that they put in my mouth and the bloodpressure became stable. I was still feeling sick. They drew blood and tested urine. The dr came in person - I was scared out of my mind. I had HELPP-sindrom, my liver was failing. They need to take her out to save me. She will be born at 20:30 - emergency c-section (aggggg) After they told me the time is now - I became calm and excited all at once. I was going to be a mother, the hell with my liver - who needs it!!! It was the 25th of Jan.

Hubby came just in time, he was with me in the operatingroom. I was fully sedated. I saw her the first time the following morning at 11:00. Although hubby made a video of her on the cell, just as she was being deliverd. I was so drugged up, I hear her, but could not focus. I dreamed about that sound the whole night. She weighed 1.375kg and was the most beautifull thing I have ever seen. She had NO complications and was not even on the resperator. We took her home on the 20th of Feb, she weighed 1.870kg. She was almost one month old, but was not supposed to be born yet. Everytime I look at her small, but perfect body, I thank God for the gift he gave us.

I know by now your cross-eyed from reading.

Did any of you had problems feeling like mother while the babes were in NICU?! I had a hell of a time coming to terms with being through everyting and not having her at home right-away.

I would also love to read your stories

Wow, that is an amazing story. You and Lelani are both so lucky.
Thanks so much for sharing.

I hated being in the NICU and yes, I had alot of trouble feeling as though Ivy and Noah were my babies and not the NICUs. Especially Noah. I went through a stage where I just felt beaten and didn't want to go into the unit. The nurses were all lovely and did a wonderful job looking after them though.

I thought that maybe someone is suppose to warn you about babe being in NICU. I mean if you are in the hospital for a week and there are rumours that baby might be coming early - shouldn't someone prepare you? I would have thought that a nice touch. But the NICU staff was great. In the begining I felt so dumb and in the way all the time. I was very selfconsious about how I was handling her. But as soon as we got home, I started to relax and really enjoy the bundle

Which one was first Noah or Ivy. Did they went home on the same day? How long were they there?

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing well :)

I'm just wondering if I'm kidding myself thinking that BFing will ever get easy for us? Don't get me wrong, we both LOVE the actual BFing part, but all the expressing, top ups, weight gain issues are a bit hard. I'm not at all contemplating giving up, I would just like to be able to breathe a sigh of relief that it's all going well IYKWIM? I knew that Bfing wouldn't beeasy, but I didn't think it would be hard this long *sigh*.

I feel like no one else understands. (Except for you castle, I just only saw your post in my other thread THANK YOU SO MUCH!)

I expressed while babe was in NICU and that was ok, bit time consuming (every two hours), but ok. Did not know what I was letting myself into. I wanted to b/feed from the begining, so was very excited. (After the let-down of not being able to do normal birth, bfeeding was my way of feeling normal after all) Took baby home and it hit me like a feight train!! I changed her, bfed and made her sleep, just to relise that I need to wake her in half a hour for the next feed (she fed every three hours - day and night) I was devestated. Did not think bfeeding were going to take that much time. Also I did not know if she was having enough. I also loved the actual feeding. The closeness and the warm body and that eyes looking, but not really seeing or understanding. The mouth working and the cute little sounds she made. Great mommy and baby time. And great just to relax

I finaly threw in the towel after three months. Had enough stress about not producing enough and she was nog gaining good. She was crying a lot. Fighting me when we needed to feed. Put her on formula straight away and she took it with no problems. Did not do it gradualy over weeks. Gave her formula twice a day, b/feed rest and in four days, she was of the breast.

You are not alone - B/feeding to me was the best and worst thing ever!!

I need to warn you (don't know if this is your first) The worst ever part about b/feeding, for me, was stopping. Suddenly I had two HUGE breasts full of milk, because the pills did not work. Two weeks later I took a hormone pill that work in about three hours. Heaven!

Keep it up as long as you can. You are doing a great job. And I know, sometimes you just need to moan and get it out.

just wanted to chime in and say a big welcome to Nadine. I too had HELLP syndrome and nearly lost my life. I have a former 25 weker who was 1lb 10z or 535g. Very growth restricted. As for your qu about being prepared? I was wheeled down to the NICU the day before bubs was born and was pretty shocked. At least I got to see what i was in for but it did not prepare me for the journey IYKWIM? I pumped milk for 5 mnths whilst she was in hospital and dumped many litres of milk. what a waste. I successfully fed for 10 mnths and my milk has only just gone.

sezjm- for the sake of your baby, stick with it IMHO. You will not regret it. I fed via EBM with bottle so i could keep an eye on her intake and I breast fed as well.My first breastfeed was when Ava was on C-Pap!. the occ bottle of formula was offered and even through all the stress of it all as Nadine said breastfeeding was the only thing left in my birthplan that I successfully did. Have you spoken to your Paed about extra calories to add to the EBM? it's worth asking. My little princess is now 16 mnths actual and 13 mnths corrected and only weighs 7.150 kgs. She is advanced mentally and is nearly walking. My paed says the breastmilk was the best thing. He also encouraged a dummy to get a better suck and help with breathing.

helena,
Wow five months in NICU. I could not have done that! Did it take that long for her to gain 2kg? How much did she weigh the day you took her home? I am amazed at Ava. 535kg is just more than two bricks of butter. That is amazing. People always asked me - how did you pick her up? My answer - with my hands. :lol:
I also heard that prems are usually faster to walk and smarter than normal babies. Something I am so looking forward to.

I had not heard of HELPP until that day and did not fully grasp the consept until I had time to browse the web. (three months after birth) About dumping your milk - did they not ask you do donate? I donated for the month bub was in hospital. That sort of helped me with the whole "mother-without-baby-ting" I was going through. You know caring for others while not being able to do it full time. Also afterwards I heard that you can throw some in your bath (Celopatra style) Did not try it - I am a shower person.

Would love to see some pic of her in hospital - compare feet and tiny fingers

Hey Sez- I understand sweety!! I was so exhausted trying to BF, then bottle EBM then express. I'm sure over time it will get easier. I remember thinking when Kyla was on like 2-5 mls of breast milk, will she ever cope with a proper feed, then when she was on 80mls and taking ages to drink it, falling asleep, chucking it up - will it ever get easier - now she guzzles her milk with no problems. I'm now wondering if she'll ever be a good solid feeder - but I'm sure in time that will come too.
Rest assured that you are not alone, you are doing a fantastic job, your bub is looking great and that it will get easier.

thanks for sharing your story Nadine, what a journey you guys have been through.

Sez- i got sick of ppl telling me it will get easier! i did not find bf easy at all. sure it EVENTUALLY got a bit easier but i still found it a struggle.i end up bf for almost 9months. Nixon used to take 1hr to feed for i cant remember how long but well past what ppl used to say he should be getting faster now. (Those are ppl without having a prem who mostly said that!)
Keep up the good work you really are giving Nicholas a great start to life by bf, women dont get enough praise for bf i dont think. It is a challenge, it doesnt come naturally and it is hard work so well done!