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Thread: Inappropriate or am i sensitive?

  1. #1

    Default Inappropriate or am i sensitive?

    I am feeling so angry/devestated/shocked over something that just happened and need to know if i am going mad or if others think the same way.

    I received a message on facebook from someone i didnt know that said the following -

    hi i have sent u a friend request because someone said u would find comfort in a couple of closed pages for angel mums, if u would like to be added let me know, we need to be friends before i can add u "

    So i clicked on her name and saw she was friends with someone that is really good friends with my fiance. The person who messaged me i could see on her page that she lost a late term baby a couple of months ago and i think that the friend of my fiances (who i am friends with too) was suggesting me to be in contact with this girl more as a support for her than myself as i have two years under my belt.

    Anyway i added her as a friend and had to go and do something and so had not had the chance to write to her or anything yet, and came back and saw a notification that she had written something on a page that was unfamiliar and clicked on it only to find that she had added me onto a page for angel mums which was fine HOWEVER the page came straight up with photo after photo of angel babies.
    I have photos of my son as well but i have one only on my facebook page and you can barely see him at all. While i understand that photos are a comfort to some people for me i find them very hard to deal with.

    My issue is that surely you would forewarn someone what the page was about. I know she is in a bad place now and probably needs support but i am so angry that i have been put in a position like this, where instead of being someone that could i helped her i now feel in shock. As stupid as this sounds i feel like i just went back 2 years..... i am devestated

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Sep 2007


    Yes I would appreciate the warning too. Not everyone is in a place where they can look at images of precious bubs who have gone too soon.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Lalor, VIC


    Having a lot of those kind of pages on my Facebook, I would have assumed it would be a possibility. Personally I'm alright with it, but I can see how it can be a shock if you weren't expecting it and/or aren't ready It's hard to "forewarn" too, because of the way the pages are set up...

    I do find it strange she said she had to add you as a friend, she could've just told you the name of the page and let you send a group request...

  4. #4


    Thats what i thought, just a link would have been great! I am a member on a number of other pages but usually the photos are in a seperate section so i can avoid the photos.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Jun 2003


    I think that's inappropriate. Everyone is different, and what is ok for someone is upsetting for another. Everyone should be respectful.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    NSW, Australia


    If it was a closed group I believe you do have to be friends. Im very sorry for what she put you through I hope you have taken yourself out of the group and I think that It is totally inappropriate also, I honestly believe that she though she was helping but wow inconsiderate much

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