Parenting after Loss or Miscarriage Jan/Feb 2011

Hi beautifuls... I'm here, just not saying much - but wanted to just add, Spring, you are SO good babe, a shining light in a crisis, thank God you were there to help out, your quick thinking was paramount in a good outcome I'm sure.

Lisa - yep, I'm "patiently" waiting for your POAS.... COME ON ALREADY!

Kelly - visitors with small children are exhausting... I loved just having my best friend here, but it was tiring with her little girl too! Hope you recover quickly, and great CaHmpbell is such a good sleeper!

Bek - well done on your first day of school! It's a huge time, but you will settle into your groove with the new routine. Can't believe my "baby" is starting year 8 high school in a week or two!

Freya - how are you doing hon? I read your comment on fb about the completely OTT fees for testing - any way around this?

Willow - hope you are still loving your new holiday "home" xo

BW - glad you have a plan, hope it all goes ok.

Hi to everyone else.... Deb and Michelle - how you both doing?

I've been reading, but am in a strange (but ok) space right now - crazy busy with 4 kids, so just not getting enough me time right now. Am going ok though ... loving the c25k program - just finished week3 today ... still don't see myself as a runner, but am doing it.. I think my body and legs are adjusting to running, but it's not easy! Still down about 3kg, it's slow to come off, but I still love my food lol !! Spring, how do you run 5km hon!!!

Hugs all around, Lee xoxo

Lee - Good on you babe, I think I found the 3kg you lost :( It's really getting to me today, I miss my gym time so much. Getting frustrated because every avenue I explore doesn't work for one reason or another, mainly because I have no one here to mind the boys, DH trains at night and is probably starting shift work soon so my only option is a gym with a creche I think but then that's not ideal either because of travel and timetables etc. Grrrrrrrrr.

I'm off to bed. Will stalk you again first thing Missy! LOL

Willow - sounds to me like you would greatly benefit from hiring (with option to buy) a treadmill .... then you can join me on the c25k program, and Michelle, and Spring !! We got ours second hand (but in hindsight I would only buy new in the future as we have had a few issues, including a new motor) and were able to pay it off $100 a month - probably equates to gym fees. Can't tell you how convenient it is to exercise at home with the little people. Flynn goes into his poratacot, and both he and Remy are happy watching ABC for the 30 minutes I'm on the treadmill - it's great, and so much easier than dragging everyone off to the gym and all the hassle that entails.... just my two bobs! We also have a cross trainer, I love this too, and they don't take up nearly as much room as a treadmill, and are pretty cheap to buy aswell (apparently good fat burners!).... so you have options! Maybe make some inquiries along those lines.... xox (then instead of your gym time being the time you get to yourself, you could take in a movie at night or something outrageous!)

I'm here. I will be back for a full update but I just wanted to tell Miss Spring how incredibly proud of her I am :hug: You did a great job!! Pressure to stop the bleeding is perfect. Head wounds bleed like nothing else and look very spectacular but a good pressure dressing / pad will fix that (usually!!) Unfortunately, little people with a head injury can often go spacy, pale and look horrid but they usually bounce back quickly and just need some monitoring. You did an amazing job and you should be ever so proud of yourself too xxx

OMG Spring!! You are one amazing woman!!! You put aside your own fears to help a little child and his mum. Its funny how some people who should know what to do just totally freeze up. Love you lady and Im sure that mum will never forget you and what you did for her little guy. You rock!!

BW - hope your appointments go well, and Michelle is the greatest isnt she!

OK so now, Im so very sorry I didnt POAS til very late last night - DH came home and we went out to the Plaza did shopping etc with the kids then we got home, bathtime, etc etc..

Im not pregnant. No lines, not even a faint one. So heres my thing, my bbs are still sore, and I have some of the symptoms I had with all my pregnancies. Im worried now that something is not right and there may be an ectopic or something else going on. Need to get a BT done, will have to organise that for Monday morning. Meanwhile, still having lots of AF type cramping and back pain.

Now we just wait and see what happens, but I just know there is a little soul who hasnt found his/her way xx

Lisa - I agree babe, I think it's time for a trip to the GP or your ob/gynae. Something seems not quite right here :hug:

Lis - an ectopic will still give a positive POAS. But get it checked :hug:

Definately get yourself to the gp hun :hug:

I second the convenience of a treadmil at home. Although after 9 weeks of walking and running on it, I am quite happy to get up at the crack of dawn and go for a walk.

Big :hug: Lisa..Good luck for Monday.

Spring You are an amazing woman and well done for helping that little boy..He and his mumma were very lucky to have you there doing everything you needed to. I'm pleased the lady called you last night to let you know he was ok :hug:
Also I'll be thinking of you today and hope you all stay safe :hug:

Michelle You are truly wonderful for offering to mind Sam while BW goes to her appointment.
How is Oscar feeling about starting Pre School this week? What day does he go?

BW I'm pleased to hear you have a plan with the new medication. I hope you get some relief soon :hug:

AFM I'm on my very last round of DHEA and will be throwing some clomid in with it in a couple of days. I'm really not looking forward to that as I get so cranky when I'm on it and have noticed I've been that way with the DHEA lately too so I'm really hoping it doesn't get much worse..Poor DH & Sage. I really wonder why I'm putting them and myself through that sometimes :(
On a good note though AF arrived and I only had a 28 day cycle which is awesome as I'm usually up to 35 days so maybe this stuff is actually starting to work like my Ob said it would..Should start to see the benefit by the 3rd cycle on it so :crossfingers: it works its magic.

SPRING _ Good on you babe! You sound like you were a work-horse out there & everything just came together for you. Your initiative coupled with your common-sense & ability to keep yourself calm provided that boy with the best attention he could have received. You should sleep very easy the next week at least knowing what a fantastic person you are & how you did such an amazing job. Well done. I'm so proud of you. & I'm so glad that the mother contacted you as well.

MAKO _ I'm so sorry that you have a week of bad-vibes coming up with the Clomid, but how awesome that your cycle has been regulated to 28 days! That sounds so promising already!

LISA _ :hug: I''m sending you lots of these........... the other girls are right. & you know your body better than anybody else, just go get it checked. :hug:

BW _ Sounds like you have a big-dummy-free-boy on your hands!

LEE _ Sorry things are just out of whack right now. Completely agree with you about the treadmill & hiring it. Sometimes dragging the kids all the way to the creche just takes up too much of the day & so much organising for an hour long workout. I really hope you find some 'you' time really soon. Just put 15 July on your calendar & count the sleeps til then!

KELLY _ Super job with Campbell honey, you deserve ot have a great sleeper. Sorry Luke is in the bad books & you lost it at the zoo. We are only human & sometimes it all comes to a head. Claudia did that to me the other day at my friends hotel. She was just being a royal brat & I couldn't take much more of it. I was stressed so bad I just wanted to burst into tears. Sorry he didn't get on so famously with his cousin either - maybe he's all just a bit put out with all the Christmas hype, then the Perth trip & then some visitors staying. Maybe this next week at home is exactly what he needs?

FREYA _ How are you chick?

BEK _ Everybody survived the first week at school? Loving how the girls didn't want to leave!!! So cute, I had tears!

AFM _ Well, it's 12 weeks until we come back to Aus for this wedding & I really wanted to get some family portraits done. We haven't had ANY done with Claudia. Very bad. Do you reckon in a studio or outdoors at a park is best? I need to get the last 7kg off as well because I want to have some of those 'intimate' but stylish ones dones of Alan & myself. I have a pose in mind & I need a really flat stomach to do that. bahahaha. Have you ladies had portraits done lately??

Love Jayne xx

Jayne - Definitely recommend an outdoor shoot for the portraits. We had ours done about 12 months ago and they are BEAUTIFUL. Chrissy Torney did ours (she's a BB member. Well was, not sure if she's still around here much). We had them done down at the River at home (gotta stop calling it that). We got a heap of framed ones and one canvas of each of the kids. Cost a bomb but totally worth every cent. Got a beautiful shot of DH and I and also a family shot but unfortunately that was before DH lost all his weight. Still lovely photos but he looks so different now.

You gals have got me thinking about a treadmilll now. I received some money from my Nan's estate at Christmas time :( and have used some of it for a few bits and pieces and am saving a chunk for my holiday in March but I might just have enough to splurge on one. If you don't mind me asking, how much can I expect to pay for a good one? I do fear the old motivation issue though. I know soooooo many people who've brought them and never used them. That's one reason I love going to the gym and doing classes, I actually enjoy it rather than watching the clock. And while it will literally take up half a day to do a round trip the the gym here, that might be a bonus for me, get me out and about a bit? Lots to ponder....

Mako - In case you're reading....we're not going to the Farmer's Market tomorrow, but maybe you and I should make a day of it next time and go check it out together? Leave the men and children at home! LOL

Also been meaning to say Bek - if it were me babe, I would take the opportunity for a bit of a break and some serious 'me' time and come to Sydney on your own. I think it would be wonderful for you. I won't have my kids with me I don't think. Depends how the b'feeding is going with D but even so, DH and the kids will probably stay with the ILs and I'll stay at night or two in the city if that's what everyone is doing. Going to wait until plans are set and then decide. Obviously it's up to you and you need to do what you are most comfortable with :hug:

Hi ladies - just popping my head in here for the first time. I was part of the pregnancy after MC and now i feel a bit in no mans land....is there were we end up? I look forward to getting to know you ladies!

TEGAM _ Welcome!!! Would love to have your join our little thread of chatterboxes!!! Miss Molly looks absolutely DEVINE!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations. You make beautiful babies! :)

WILLOW _ You know, just to throw a spanner in the works, if you're worried about it not getting use (treadmill I mean), you could always look at a rower. I had a rower in Aus & it was brilliant! I used to do a lot of walking with Banjo (:() & also with the girls to & from school, so sometimes I just wanted to do something different. I found the rower gave me the cardio workout as well as toned a lot of my muscles in my arms, across my back & my stomach, Granted, you still can't see I have muscles in my stomach. But they are there, just under a LOT of layers of insulation - can't have them getting cold!!! bahaha. My rower was around $800 & it was also a recumbent bike, so it meant I could rotate between rowing & cycling. Being that your knees are the same height as your hips when you're doing the cycling, was hell on the thighs!!! Thanks for the tips on the pics, I'm pretty sure I have seen them on FB. The one of you & DH was of you kissing???? He has you pushed up against a wall (I'm blushing here!) & I remember the one of Miss V sitting amongst the trees with her arms spread wide looking up to the sky? Are the the ones? I loved them!!!! I don't mind spending a small fortune as we have never had shots like that done before. But I want to get good ones done. I don't mind parting with the cash, when you can justify it, you know? As for the one with me & Alan, well, that one HAS to be done inside. bahahaha

Willow - You are right!!! I will come down by myself.

Is the 15th the date of the meet up or it is the weekend of the 15th. I've looked at flights and I can get $89 flights each way. I am not sure if I should come on Thursday afternoon or Friday morning???

Hello Tegam. Congrates on the arrival of Molly

Tegam - Welcome and congratulations on the safe arrival of Molly, she is divine! Baby girls make me so clucky! LOL.

Bek - 'Atta girl!! I have no idea what everyone is doing yet in terms of arrival dates etc, I'm not sure if any firm plans have been made yet?

Jayne - I had a look on ebay earlier...have to say the amount of ads that said 'hardly used', 'used less than 10 times' kinda put me off. I think I'd find running on a treadmill....boring. Obviously a lot of other people did too! LOL Current plan is to check out a bootcamp I saw an ad for in the local paper today, they do it at an oval around the corner but it'll only work if they have it on while DH is home. Plan b is to check out the local Zumba class and also go and check out the gym. I figure even if I just pay casual rates and do one Pump class a week (which is all I was doing in Sydney most weeks) then that might work. And plan C is to watch my diet! Nothing drastic but I've seriously got to cut back on the junk (chocolate!) and start eating better.

Welcome Tegam and congratulations on the arrival of Molly. She is so cute :)

Willow I'm not too sure if Sage & I ill head into the Farmers Market in the morning or not. I'm not feeling to great atm so will see how I'm feeling in the morning..Damn AF and emotions and stuff in general. DH is heading out for a fish early in the morning so Sage & I might meet him somewhere a bit later and go for a swim or head out to visit his Pop as DH's parents are staying out there for a few days to take care of him (he has dementia and is heading towards moving into a nursing home in the not too distant future) :(

Welcome Tegam! Molly is just adorable, congratulations!
Spring, so glad to hear the little boy is alright.
Jayne, definately agree on outdoor portraits I bet there are some lovely places in China to take piccies.

Im going to have to say I may not make the meet up, Im sorry :( I might not be here in Sydney by then. We've got Dh's deployment date already and Ive been seriously considering moving back to Townsville for the 6 months he's gone. Im miserable here, even more so in winter, plus I miss my friends up there. I just think Id have more support there than here. There are a few other things going on that are influencing my decision about this; but hopefully theyll give us our posting order early in light of the situation (and even more hoping theyll be for Townsville or Brisbane!) and I can be gone by July.

Hopefully I will know more soon and I can try and plan to come even if Im not here. If Im here, I am 1000000% in.

Mako - :hug: I know you're heading back to work next week (boo, hiss! LOL) but let me know if you want to catch up some time. DH was supposed to be fishing tonight. But where is he instead?? In front of the freakin' x-box. It is REALLY starting to get my goat. He is constantly plastered to the thing. I know, I know I get on here and I'm a bit of a FB addict but seriously we went for a swim this afternoon - I had to get all the kids ready while he planted his butt in front of the x-box. Got home, he helped with dinner (wow, husband of the year...) while I showered all the kids and myself. We all had dinner but as soon as he finished his dinner he was back on it. I cleaned the kitchen, did the dishes, vacuumed, mopped the floors, tidied up the toys in the loungeroom, got the kids ready for bed etc etc and the whole.freakin'.time he just sat on his arse on the x-box :angry: Wearing very, very thin atm. I know he likes to talk to his mates on there, especially now that we've moved and he doesn't get to see them, but seriously, it's a joke. I'm going to bed in a minute. Screw him.

Whoa. Sorry, that was a bit of a vent wasn't it??!! LOL

Night girls.

I just did a big post and lost it...grrr

In short

Willow - I know how you feel re DH. I had a big meltdown and that has done the trick lol. (hug)

Mako - I hope you feel better real soon.

Freya - Lets just hope you get to move to Townsville, but I would love to meet you.

For our WA girls - Stay safe with that nasty cyclone around

:hug: Willow. I totally know where you're coming from with regards to the x-box. DH has been pretty good since we've come home from holidays but before then he was shocking. The worst part is is that Sage likes to try and play too and DH gets cranky with him for touching the stupid headset thing and control :shakehead: I get mad at him for playing it when Sage is awake because the games he plays aren't really of the kid friendly kind and also I feel he should be spending that time playing with him instead. I don't mind that he plays it after Sage has gone to bed and I know how my DH is with helping out around the house..that's pretty much non existent unless I have a MAJOR dummy spit and then he'll help out for a bit but soon resorts back to his own ways.
A catch up next week would be good but I have no idea what hours I'm working or anything. Oh and I forgot to tell you I've picked up yet another child or 2 for private lessons so that now makes 4 :) I'm slowly getting there. I just have to work out with MIL what day she can have Sage for me all day until DH gets home from work so I can do these lessons for these little ones :) I'd like to do them all on the same afternoon if possible.

Freya :hug: to you babe. Sounds like you have heaps going on atm and lots of things to plan and organise. How did you get on with R's appointment before Christmas? Sorry I've been a bit out of the loop lately and feel bad for that :( How is the teaching coming along? Are you still liking it?

Freya: boo hoo on you missing out on the catch up but whoo hoo :cheer: on the move to t'ville. That is so exciting. Sounds like out dh's will be away at the same time so we can hang out and the boys can
play.

Mako: :hug: sounds like you could do with a hug. I hope af calms down.

Willow: we had to set some gaming rules. None whatsoever while the boys are awake and only after all the night chores are done. Seems to work. I get how annoying it is.

Kelly: so great to hear C is a great sleeper. I hear you on the tantrums. O was horrid yesterday. I'm not usually a crybaby
but the kid had me in tears.

Lee: great work on the running! You'll feel so strong once you can
bump out 5 clicks.

Jayne: the photos sounds great. I agree on the outside location. But obviously the ones
with dh will have to be inside (boom chicka wow wow)

Lisa: I hope you gets some answers about af being MIA when you go
to the gp.

Tegam: welcome Hun, Molly is adorable.

Bek: when do you start your new job? If it's what I think it is you'll do great. Awesome products.

Michelle: those pics of George on fb are soooo cute. I can wait to see him and L and O in July

Deb: mwah

BW: oh Hun, I know it brings very little comfort but I've been thinking if you and I hope you pain is able to be managed soon. :hug:

afm I think that may about to show us. Still bf'ing B and so I guess I've been lucky to get almost 2 years total off. Wait and see, she could stay away a while longer. Major cyclone prep here this w'end. Looks like Anthony is heading straight for us. We are well prepared, now we wait.

Spring xx

eta sorry about the spacing on my post. On the phone and couldn't be arsed to fixed it.

Spring - Hoping and praying you guys get off lightly with the cyclone. Thanks for your vote of confidence. I am seriously doubting myself this weekend. I know I can do the actual job but I am not sure if I can handle keeping the house/kids/DH in ship shape form as well.

Just had to share...I am so clucky atm. I've been so good with mind occupied on moving forward, but I have a feeling that my little boy is waiting!!! Please send me a pill to get over this!!! DH won't have a bar of it anyway. He just laughs and tells me to get over myself..

I just got a hysterical phone call from my mum, her best friend was at a party last night, felt a bit breathless & dropped dead on the floor. Mum wasn't at this party but obviously it's not a phone call she would have expected. We called her Aunty, she is my sisters godmother, her children are like cousins to us. I'm gutted for mum, for her family, for the 3 children she has, the 5 grandchildren she never got to kiss goodbye. It's just not fair.

oh jayne - thats horrible :hug: to all those involved!

Jayne - Such awful news. I feel for your mum and the family.

Oh Jayney...I'm so sorry for your loss babe :hug: What a huge shock for your mum and for her poor family. Thoughts and prayers to you all.

Bek - If you find that pill, send me one. I've been really bad the last few weeks too. I'm the same, I just have this feeling that I have one more little girl waiting for me. It's nuts. I just wish it would go away. DH is the same, absolutely not interested in #4. As you know, 3 is busy so I get where he is coming from but still....I can't help it. If he gave me the green light, I'd be trying my brains out right now :( I don't have any magic pill, but I do understand what it's like. :hug:

Oh Jayney: what a tragic sudden loss. You must all be in such terrible shock. I'm so very sorry. :hug: to all of you.

I am so very very sorry Jayney. :comfort:

:hug: Jayney.

Willow/Bek; um well I cant help with the magic pill because obviously I flatly refused to entertain the idea of not having four ;) I do understand how hard is to have to reconcile probably never having any more when you dont feel 'done' :hug: You never know what may happen in the future though.

Jayne - Pop in and let us know how you are?

Willow - At least I am not alone :hug:

Freya - If I was younger I would go for it too!! I seriously feel a bit old

Bek - You are NOT at all too old to be having #4. A lot of women are only having #1 at your age! But I get what you mean, it'd be a struggle for my tired old body too, but I think I could do it one last time. But it aint gonna happen, so onwards and upwards! LOL

I hope you're doing OK Jayney :hug:

Typical. I have so much to get prepared for tomorrows first day at pre-school and tonight is the night G is unsettled and the bigger ones want cuddles and Mumma in bed :( I miss that extra pair of hands and someone to share the excitement / trepidation with. So incredibly sad right now :( I guess just another one of the many firsts I will be doing without him. And I am so looking forward to the conversation with pre-school tomorrow about our *situation* - NOT!!

Jayne - just another hug but I will be back with you on skype xx

Michelle... :hug:

And another :hug: for Jayne.

I'm really freaking out about Wednesday... I'm scared to death and I don't know why - it's not the injections, and I've had four different types of injection to give myself... I'm just scared I won't be approved despite my rheumy's assurances and scared it won't work and that I won't find my way to the right place in the hospital... Kind of wishing I'd organised someone to come and hold my hand rather than someone to mind Sam.

Oh well, pain meds and sleep - all I can do for now.

BW

I'm here. A little shocked & a lot sad. Sad for my Mum & my sister mostly. They were so much closer to her than I. She was the most lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely person. She honestly was. My sister & I used to always ask her to be our mum. lol. She always wore this outrageous blue mascara as well. I'm tempted to just go buy myself some - just because.

Alan is really ill so we have been chilling a lot in the house today. It's been nice. Until the shock news.

Jayne Sending you a great big :comfort: and a :hug: I hope Alan is feeling better soon too.

Michelle I didn't realise it is Mr O's 1st day at Pre school tomorrow. I hope he has a fabulous day and I'm sure the teachers there will be understanding and hopefully you won't have to go into too much detail for them to get the picture kwim? Please be gentle on yourself and know we are all here :hug:
I know words aren't adequate and don't change anything in the grand scheme of things but you are in my thoughts always :comfort:

Bek & Willow I'm sorry but I think you both should go for #4 ;) You all know my thoughts on #4..It was always my "magic" number but unfortunately that has been taken out of my hands unless I'm blessed with..wait for it .................TRIPLETS :rofl: ..Oh a clucky, desperate, hormonal woman can dream can't she lol.

To those of us whose little ones are off to Pre School for the very 1st time this week I'm thinking of you all. I know Sage is very excited about going on Friday but this mumma bear is quietly freaking out..My baby boy is growing up and while that is a wonderful thing its also a little bit scary ITMS.
My DH is back to the GP tomorrow as he's still not well..The weight is still dropping off him and he's still feeling very unwell but he has the most gorgeous dimples back on his cheeks when he smiles..I actually forgot he used to have them and Oh my don't I feel bad about that :redface: I just wish they'd find out what's wrong and make him well again.

BW :hug:

Oh, lots of big hugs needed in here!!!! :grouphug: Especially Michelle, Jayne and BW :hug:

Bek, and Willow, I hear you! I've chatted to Michelle about this. I'm actually very okay (ATM haha) with having two babies - I'm so loving having my two boys. And as much as I am loving the beautiful baby stuff, I can see the light :redface: ;) We all know I don't do a good pregnant, I struggle with breastfeeding, and my kids have allergies. All of these things really really make me NOT want to go again. I struggle with all of it. And you know, we feel complete. I can see it being the four of us for years to come. BUT - I can really really see myself falling pg again. In fact, there is a whole scenario that plays over and over in my mind (I won't discuss it here, for fear of upsetting my lovely friends, it's a sensitive topic), and I just can't get past it. I don't WANT it to happen, I just have this nagging feeling that it WILL. Like when I could always picture (before falling pg with DS2) having a caesarean - I could see it all happening. I put it down to just being afraid of having one. But I honestly could see it all, pretty much as it happened in the end. And I *knew* that DS2 would be born in the last week of February. I even told a friend about that one, because it scared me so much....but she reassured me that it was too early and it wouldn't happen LOL!

Argh, anyway, I get what you're saying! Sometimes you know that something out there is your destiny, uncontrollably. Sorry that turned into a big rant, it's been on my mind.

Jayne, I'm so sorry hun :hug: 2011 is turning out pretty $hitty as far as I'm concerned.

Michelle, I hope it all goes well tomorrow, good luck with the *chat*. I'll be holding your hand :hug:

Mako, DS1 is off to Kinder on Friday too! I'm so freaking excited for him, I think he's going to love it. I think kinder and preschool are a bit different? I don't really know about the differences between VIC and NSW. When will Sage start school?

Janie Sage will go to Pre School for 2 years so this year he's only going 1 day a week and next year he'll go for 2 or maybe 3 days and then off to big school the year after..So that will be 2013.

Same! Two years of kinder, and then school! It's very scary, but so exciting :)