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Thread: Parenting after Loss or Miscarriage ~ February 2011

  1. #19

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    AUDAX! FORSHELBY! YAY! I missed you guys



    BF: I remember you as well, we were in a belly buddies group together Glad matteo is going well, time goes so quick!

    Forshelby: I'm sure your doing a brilliant job with Axel (rocking name!)

    AFM: Sammy's asleep, hoping for another hour cos we had some trauma last night so I think he has some sleep to catch up on. We forgot to put the intercom on and about 15 minutes after he was put down to sleep DH went to the bathroom and he was screaming! We didn't hear I really really hope he wasn't crying the whole time. So DH was carrying him around singing when I went to go see what was happening and Sammy was still crying so I umm, basically snatched him off DH. Bad Kitfaerie. He calmed down really quickly once I had him though, lol. Then I apologised to DH.

    For people I don't know, you can see from my ticker that I've had 2 m/c, one was Sammy's twin and the earlier one DH and I nicknamed Splat. Splat was a missed m/c, we went for a scan at 7 weeks and no heartbeat, went back at 8 weeks and still nothing, so a D&C was scheduled as it was christmas. That christmas sucked. I think about it sometimes, but to be honest, if I hadn't of lost Splat I wouldn't have Sammy and he is so wonderful that I think it just had to be him, he had to be part of our family. Who knew there was a Sammy shaped place in my heart

    Feeling obligated to do some exercise cos the boy's still asleep. Sigh.

  2. #20

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    KitFaeire, I know exactly what you mean. Sam is just gorgeous and I wouldn't have life any other way... but if any of my three miscarriages had stuck, we wouldn't have Sam. I try not to focus on the what ifs, but they do get you sometimes.

    BW

  3. #21

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    Ok so it's about time i joined this thread i am going to bring a few girls from the pregnancy after m/c and loss thread also and hopefully murrycod when she gets her butt back here.

    I know a few of you gals Audax ,Kitfaerie,Forshelby, Hi i dont know why i didnt get here sooner oH! well better late then never.

    Dont worry forshelby i am trying to round a few gals up to.

    AFM-Love love love being at home with my sweet princess.

  4. #22

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    Subscribing be back later

  5. #23

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    Oooh! look wrangled up mildez already lol.

  6. #24

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    Watch out Mods the thread count is probably going to go thru the roof! Im here

    Saw Kit introduced herself: Ill be breif as im about to go and do my homework (exercise).

    I lost a bub at 12weeks in 2005 and the had a emergency ruptured ectopic in feb 2010. I was very emotionally unprepared for the miscarriage and very ill with the ectopic.

    Think Molly will be our last as i find pregnancy hard and DH struggles with the trauma of the ectopic and the Drs werent shy about how close he came to losing me.

    We'll see tho we have said no more 2 times now......

    looking forward to chatting more with old faces and meeting new people

  7. #25

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    Yay we have a home!!! I had a look in here a little while ago and not alot was happening, i was going to suggest we round everyone up!

    It will be so good to have all u girls to chat to again! I dont post very often, normally i get on here when im breastfeeding and i only have one hand free and it takes too long to type stuff so i just stalk!

    Being a mummy has been absolutely fantastic, i am loving every minute of it! Even after very little sleep i can still look at little Sienna girl in the morning and tell her shes the most beautiful thing in the world! Dh thinks shes a lot cuter if we have all had a good night sleep tho haha.

    2 days ago we attempted a routine, im a bit scared to say which one after reading a few threads on here bagging the hell out of it! Ok ok ill spill... it was the Save Our Sleep one. It was the most awful day! Sienna is not a crier, we hardly ever hear her cry unless i take too long to pull my boob out and this day she just cried and cried! She cried each time we put her to bed, then she cried cos she wld wake up earlier then feed time so we had to prolong it, then we were up with her from like 1am onwards! So much for it helping to make them sleep thru the night, it was the worst day and night we have had! Only the night before we tried the routine she only woke us once for a feed! It was great! So now my theory is why fix it if it aint broke! I have no problems feeding her when shes hungry and putting her to bed when shes ready.. so no routine in this household for a little while!

    Dh goes away for the first time in 6 weeks next week for 3 WHOLE WEEKS! Its going to be so sad so i might realise then that i need a bit of time to myself and will try and put a bit of a routine in place since i wont have him to give Sienna to when i need to do washing etc.. but we'll see. Having him home for so long has been the biggest help, i feel like she is hanging off me feeding all day so when it comes to burp time or just cuddle time I always hand her over to him..and he is great with her!

    Anyway i will stop rambling now... oh but first who can i rope in to come and join me in the ttcaml thread in a few months??? I cant wait to be pregnant again! Im so sad that im not still. I wish i was like a wallaby... Im pretty sure they pop one baby out and have another little one already growing.. it wld be the best! Ofcourse it cld be another yr until my body is ready tho..knowing my body it will take ages.. im still bleeding for heavens sake!

    Anyway really better jump off and stop boring u all!

    Take care xxx

  8. #26

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    Hi Tegam,glad you made it.
    My hubby say's never say never i am 37 and after 5 babies 4 with me i am pretty sure i am done so that is why i got out of the pregnancy thread.

    Spose i better do a quick run down of why i am in the parenting after loss thread's for those who don't know.

    DH and i (2nd marriage) lost our 1st baby together at 19weeks 5 days we had to end the pregnancy due to multi organ abnormalities, turned out we carry a rare gene SLO that means a 1 in 4 chance of every pregnancy being effected so we went the PGD IVF route which ended in an affected embryo after spending $14,000 so we opted to try our luck with nature and hope we snagged un uneffected baby well turns out the stress of losing Abbi the PGD IVF and TTC we just couldnt get pregnant even though i have always been a rabbit and Abbi only took us 5 cycles so with age not on our side we went with normal IVF at westmead and we got pregnant 1st go but had to go through the agonising wait for results of CVS and Amnio test's and thank god we were extremely lucky and Ella is the product of 2 years of heartache stress and worry and she is worth every second of it.

    Going shopping to feed the ferrals be back later.

  9. #27

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    Yah reet is here to awesome.

    Reet not all babies have a routine straight away my boys did from 2-3 weeks sleeping through the night but ella has only just settled into a routine the last 2 weeks and more settled this last week with bedtime being 7-7:30 and one 3am feed she sleeps really good at night now but it did take a while.

  10. #28

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    Reet, the thing with the parenting books is that our babies haven't read them. We were fairly fortunate that after 10 days in SCN (Sam was born at 36 weeks and had a few issues to start with) Sam came home well trained by the SCN timetable and he would feed every four hours like clockwork... We were also formula feeding, so I imagine it would be different if you were breastfeeding. We didn't go with any routines or programs and figured that the people who knew our baby best were us... and we proceeded to wing it and go by instinct and we have a happy, well-adjusted toddler who's found his own routine.

    I'm starting to feel a bit like the odd one out here - being one of the "old crowd", but if anyone feels they don't know me and would like me to tell you all a bit more about myself, just let me know.

    BW

  11. #29

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    Butterfly warrior-sorry we have crashed your thread but it will be great to get to know you and i would love to hear all about you as i know a lot about the other girls we have all been through a lot together over the last 2+ years so it is only fitting i know all about you aswell.

    Did my grocery shopping $400 and that was without meat and veg i am just about to iron uniforms make lunches then going to bed i will see you all tomorrow arvo i have a busy day tomorrow

    Nite ladies.

  12. #30

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    You haven't crashed my thread! There used to be a lot more of us, but most have left and I've just been quietly waiting for new friends to join me - as much as it sucks that you have to!

    The brief summary... We started TTC in December of 2005, in December of 2008 Samuel was born. In those three years we went through me being diagnosed with severe insulin resistant PCOS, clomid pretty much causing a severe mental breakdown (and failing to work!), DH was found to have a triple defect and varicocele (very low count, and mutant sperm that can't swim) that couldn't be repaired. That lead to us doing IVF - where I got pretty bad ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome twice, which meant two cycles where I was far too ill to transfer and all embryos were frozen. One of those cycles put me in hospital for a week and off work for a month. In total we got 11 blastocyst embryos from those two cycles - only four of which ever survived to be transferred. From those four transfers I had three pregnancies and three miscarriages. We also found out that I have issues with NK cells and possible issues with lupus anticoagulants. Finally, IVF cycle number three got us to a fresh transfer (and mild OHSS when pregnancy was confirmed) and Sam. We still have two day three embryos in the freezer waiting for us to decide to go back one day.

    Unfortunately, my health is as complicated and nasty as our fertility journey. I have seronegative rheumatoid arthritis which became quite severe after Sam was born and we've been struggling to control it ever since. We are now finally making some headway, but I'm on some fairly serious meds to do it. Then just today I was given a new diagnosis of non-alcoholic steatohepatitis and I'm kind of reeling from that a bit... I honestly don't know if I'll ever be well enough to go back for our last two embryos. I had a pretty awful time being pregnant and needed three different medications to stay pregnant and after all that Sam was born at 36 weeks... We nearly lost him at birth and I honestly do not believe he would be here if he'd gone full-term as his cord was so tightly wrapped around his neck (twice!) that they had to cut the cord so they could get him out properly.

    So that's me. Used to be a maths teacher, but now I'm on a disability pension due to the RA so I'm at home full-time with Sam. He has lovely, long 3-hour day naps still and goes to day care two days a week (my respite time, we have no family close by) so I'm often here while I'm resting and he's sleeping.

    BW

  13. #31

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    Holy cow BW im tired just reading your story! What a brave women you are. And what strenght you have shown! Amazing. I look forward to getting to know you more....3 hr day nap.....bliss!

    Ferrals: I have a budget of $700 a fortnight for food.... Its a nightmare. I cook and shop well but we do prefer nice meat and fresh foods so there is just no way of cutting down from there. We i could feed the kids junk, we have a golden circle factory outlet near us and there is so much cheep processed food .

    Reet: Stop reading books they are evil LOL! Glad you figured out "why fix whats not broken" so quickly. Also as the time comes closer for your DH to go away you will get more and more stressed about how you will be able to do it....then he will go and you will be fine! I promise. My DH works away from home and i survive with 4!


    Ok ready for a laugh...todays plan.... Masking taping towels to my knees and scrubbing my floors....what fun

  14. #32

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    BW-you certainly have had a rough trot thank god you can look at sam and know it is all worth it.

    Tegam- i am the same i could buy cheap junky food pie's fish fingers ect but i dont we like good meat also so i go to a wholesale meat place and buy bulk but i am finding the pantry groceries are getting really expensive.
    I survive with 4 also thank god 3 are teenagers.

    Ella want's to be fed i will be back a little later and we might have a little murryriver visitor later tonight woohooo!!!

    I finally post my horrible c section birth story.

  15. #33

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    Oooh! oooh! i just had a look at the replies to murrycods BA and she posted a reply our murrycod is back!!!!

  16. #34

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    I was suppose to have a busy day today but my one and only friend with a baby cancelled on me so i decided to stay home i will wait til tomorrow and do something with hubby.
    All my other friends dont have kids.

    BW-if you dont mind me asking what state do you live in all my BB friends seem to live in QLD or MELB i met one lady in hospital who is a BB member and she lives 5 minutes from me but is having a hard time with her bub so i havnt been able to catch up with her since we left hospital.
    And all my work mates have older kids like my teenage boys and they have finished having kids or are single/seperated and dont want kids so i find myself the only one with a baby which dont get me wrong i LOVE it but i would like to have someone to have a coffee and chat with from time to time that doesnt involve alcholic binges partying until 4am work work work or trying to find a man while sleeping around i just want another mum who knows what it feels like to miss adult conversation.

  17. #35

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    Whee! This thread is happening!

    BW: Wow. Just wow. Your incredible! Well done on your courage and commitment. Loving your boy's name by the way, lol! 3 hours in one hit sounds lovely!

    Reet: Pfft @ SOS! Your baby girl will find her own routine, Sammy and I have an order that we do things in, but the times tend to vary a bit each day. You had me laughing so much at wanting to be a wallaby! So glad pregnancy was wonderful for you, if I could have I would have given you some of my fat feet so you could experience it. Eep at your DH going away! You'll kick it in though

    Ferrals: DH and I are kinda the first in our group to have a baby, it can be really isolating. I hope you can find someone! And teenage boys eat a lot! I might re-think my plan to have 3 boys (cos I have sooo much control over that!)

    Murraycod: I know you haven't posted in here yet, but you should! Mwa xo

    Tegam: You are aware of a nifty little invention called a mop? But I'm sure you look stunning

    AFM: Had a crap visit with MCHC yesterday, Sammy is 75th percentile for height but 25th for weight, he's stayed around the 25th for a while and DH is tall and skinny, but they recommended that we start solids and I don't feel comfortable with that yet. He still looks chubby, he has those baby fat rolls, he's just not a roly poly baby. DH and I are gonna talk about it some more, we have another appt in 4 weeks so we'll see what happens then. Sammy's doing well developmentally and is a happy boy, the only thing that concerns me is that if he gets sick he doesn't have much weight in reserve. He feeds every 2 hours during the day, but he sleeps from 8.30-7.30 each night (well, most of them!). Bah, he's fine. Boo @ MCHN, BOO I say! We have his 4 month needles today, soooooo not looking forward to it, I've researched non-vac but it didn't mesh with me, so I gotta suck it up. I wish I was taping towels to my knees and mopping the floor today!

  18. #36

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    Kit-good luck with the needles im with you i couldnt not vax the alternative is horrible for an unvaccinated baby/child to catch one of those diseases is just scarey and to think how much school they would miss every time one child was diagnoised with whooping cough/chicken pox all the unvaccinated kids have to stay home where even if vaccinated kids get it they dont get it as severe.
    I had whooping cough real bad in 2009 and broke a rib twice in the 90 days i had it and i can tell you i now know just how serious it would be in babies and why they can die.

    And yes teenage boys do eat alot i use to spend $400 a week and still had to buy bits and pieces during the week we go through a 3 litre milk a day and a loaf of bread a day we go through a 1.5 kilo tin of milo a week and about 10kgs of potatoes a week.
    When DH lost his job i started to bulk buy and look around for specials so i spend $400 one week and only $200 the next and once every 6 weeks i go to the wholesale meat market and fill the freezer with meat.
    So i save about $200 a month just changing my old habits.

    So bored today i have done all my housework except the floors and i really could not be bothered to do them.

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