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thread: Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April/May

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    home sweet home.
    1,995

    Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April/May

    Welcome to Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss. In this thread you will find women who are navigating the sometimes difficult but joyous challenge of parenting after saying goodbye. This can throw up many challenges and in here you will find friendship and a safe place to share your experiences.

    I know that many of our regular members of this thread are having very difficult times at the moment - I hope we can continue to be supportive & hopeful in times that sometimes are very difficult. Welcome to our new members - it is always wonderful to have new members to share this journey.

    Michelle ~ words can not expresses the sorrow each and everyone in here feels since hearing of the passing of your beloved husband, Greg. Please know that we are all here as individuals and collectively to support you as you grieve the loss of Greg and as you get ready to welcome your treasured little baby boy. Know that you are not, and will not be alone today or in the days to come.


    If you have any concerns within the thread please email/ PM any of the following Moderating/Admin team for this forum (all emails & PM's are treated equally & confidentially) :-

    Niliac
    Mistyfying
    Inanna and
    Spring Angel

    Their email addresses can be found here.

    Please note - To receive thread notfications click the "thread tools" button at the top of this post and click "Subscribe to Thread" there is no need to post in order to get notifications.

    Here's wishing each and every one of you, a happy and easy going parenting journey after a difficult ride to get there!

    You will find the previous here.

    Last edited by Nelle; April 24th, 2010 at 01:04 PM.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    6,706

    Michelle, I read the piece from the paper with tears in my eyes. Thinking of you as always.

    BW

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    Sydney
    2,212

    I have just read the beautiful words in the thread introduction and I thank you We will survive (I hope) - just one step at a time.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    4,840

    Oh Michelle that article in the Teleraph is a testament to how amazing Greg was, Im in tears. You should be so proud knowing how much so many people in the world are devestated by his loss; its a true indication of the kind of person he was. Even people who hardly knew him

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Melbourne
    3,715

    Michelle, I will look it up. Thank you for thinking of us through your grief

    We're home, well and relieved . D has been a superstar, he slept through the whole thing, even though he'd been fasting! We elected for him to have a spinal, rather than a GA, but the recovery nurse thought he'd had the GA because he was so fast asleep! It wasn't til she checked his notes again after awhile that she realised he'd had a spinal LOL. What a good little boy . He is soooo beautiful, I feel like I'm bonding with him so well these days. Thanks for all your kind wishes and support, it really does help

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    Qingdao, China
    1,196

    JANIE _ So glad that Baby Daniel did so well with his little op - what a load off! I'm so glad he is home. You sould really relieved too - which is fab as well.

    BEK _ How are you doing?

    WILLOW _ Did you end up talking to V about Nanna? She is the same age as Jess isn't she? I don't know, Nanna is so very old & tired & she needs to go to heaven to rest?? I had to take mine to a funeral in January so I glossed it over as much as I can. I told her the coffin was a special postage box for the angels to post our uncle to heaven. She was 'ok' with that, but then again, she didn't know this uncle really well, where obviously she does know your Nan really well? My thoughts are with you & you will tell her the most appropriate story.

    MICHELLE _ How do you feel with your parents gone? The little road trip sounds like it could be ok, will get the kids out & about & also yourself?? You might be solo in person, but not in spirit darl, every single one of us is with you, as well as Greg. Can any of the Sydney girls accompany Michelle???

    LISA _WTG on the 6 hour sleepy stint! Awesome!

    MAKO _ How are you sweet?

    BUN _ Was so awesome to meet you! Joshua is just so scrumptious! I soooooooooo loved my snuggles with him & secretly I'm pretty sure he liked me too! Catherine is so adorable, that cheeky little grin is going to help getting her out of lots of trouble! LOL I trust you had a safe & enjoyable flight home! Oh & I picked up some cute jeans at Myer for Curly for $21! Bargain!

    Freya, Spring, Bonham, BW & everybody else, massive hugs & hello.

    Love Jayne xx

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    Sydney
    2,212

    Jayne - the car trip is only short stints that I can do ok. The trip to the park today was a bad choice. My pelvis is so sore after doing a little too much last night and there were too many Daddies and their babies playing Even worse, I took them to the park that Greg used to always take them to. Poor monkeys had to deal with a blubbering Mummy who realised that she might think she is ok but in reality she isn't.

    There is an ache that I just can't ease and it hurts so much. I am sore, uncomfortable, feeling very alone and so incredibly sad. I miss his cuddles, his voice, his teasing. I just miss him and I hate that I will never get to hold him or talk to him ever again.

    I'm so sorry to dump this. I think I need to journal instead ..............

  8. #8
    BellyBelly Member

    Aug 2006
    Melbourne
    843

    Oh Michelle - I'm just so glad that you have us here and can't imagine what you're going through... now that everyone's life starts to go on again... nowhere near the same thing but that's the part I found the hardest when I lost my Dad. We're all with you through this hun. Massive hugs for you and the kids.

    Jayne - Will have to organise a catch up.. probably for the second week I'm there... starting the 10th May.. so let me know when you're free!!!

    Janie - Sooo glad all went well with D.. what a trooper and VERY much looking forward to catching up next week.. before I head off.

    Mako - How are you going?

    Sorry guys, don't have the energy for any more personals.. I'm still sooo tired and not feeling too good.. just nausious all day long.. it's amazing.. I've never experienced anything like it.. but I'm trying to enjoy every minute of it and appreciate how lucky I am... this is definitely my last pg and it's a very weird feeling so trying to take it all in!!

    Really looking forward to heading back to Perth next week too.

    Kel xxx

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2006
    Melb, Vic
    1,212

    Michelle - dont be sorry honey - this is whats hapenning in your world right now and we want you to use this thread as a release, its a parenting and friendship thread and I speak for all of us when I say its ok to dump in here.. The fact you had the strength to take them there is amazing - but you know Greg would want you to take the kids to his park and now you have done it once the next time wont be so bad I know you miss him, and its ok to ache for him - I bet it hurts like hell, but soon this day will pass and tomorrow will bring fresh hope, hope in the smiles of your two earth side angels and thier baby brother George xx

    Janie - little D is a real trooper - must get it from his mum! Glad he is home and well xx

    Gotta go BF the little beauty xx

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    Qingdao, China
    1,196

    MICHELLE _ Honestly, I'm sure I speak for everybody here, but we want to be able to listen to IT ALL! That is what we are here for, we are hear to listen, to cry with you, to try to understand what you are going through & be of assistance to you in whichever way we can. We are here for the long haul, not just for the coming few weeks, but in months, years & decades to come. We are here to cheer you through George's arrival, Oscar starting school, Lily becoming a big sister, the works. So don't feel as though you are saying too much or that you need to journal anything to 'spare' us of anything. I know you have stack of IRL friends & of course family to help you through, but I think of us all in here as a 'special family'. I think we are a wonderful group of loving women who would bend over backwards to help each other out. So please, don't hold back, we're here for you. I'm here for you.

    KELLY _ Sorry you're still so ill, but it's a really good sign though. I just hope it eases soon for you. YES! I would not let you visit Perth & not see me! You tell me what days are best for you & we can figure something out. I just work Monday & Wednesdays.

    I hope you all have a reflective Anzac Day tomorrow.

    Love Jayne

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Logan
    2,991

    Michelle - Please come in here and tell us how it is for you. My heart breaks for you and I wish I could come over and give you a real hug.

    Jayne - Thanks for asking how we are. Eva's sleep is still the same but for now it is easier for me to just with the flow. I tried not offering boob and other settling methods but she ends up so upset and she just won't go down. I did 3 nights in a row of not giving her boob to re-settle and she was up for 3 hours each night. So I threw my arms up in the air and went back to feeding her to sleep. I must say though that she did do 2 times 5 hour stretches last week. I am glad you had an awesome holiday.

    Willow - Been thinking about you over the weekend.

    Hi all. Hugs everyone

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Sep 2006
    1,223

    Hi sorry I haven't been around for a few days. We went away camping for the weekend and omg it was freezing lol. Sage had a great time playing and getting dirty as kids do

    Michelle PLEASE come in here and vent or "talk" about what you are going through. Each and every one of us is here to support you as you travel through each day. I'd like to come and visit you soon too so I can give you some of these IRL. Also good on you for taking that massive step of taking the kids to the park. I'm sure they loved going and will remember all the times their Daddy took them there and will now get to create some new memories of going with Mummy.
    I also agree with everything Jayne has said

    Janie What a little trooper baby D is. I'm pleased his op went well and he's now home again with you

    Willow How was your weekend? Thanks for the email too

    As for us well DH is pushing for no more babies and I'm struggling with that idea in a huge way. I feel like I'm being punished for all my m/c's and it sucks I told him to wait until I see my Ob in a couple of weeks as I just can't give up my dream. I'd always wanted 4 kids but DH only ever wanted 2 so I agreed on that but I just feel a bit ripped off if he continues pushing for us to stop now. If there is something else out there that is simple and will help us have another healthy bub then I want to try that just once. I NEED to have that chance. As for the bleeding well I've put that down as af. It hung around for 8 days so I wasn't too impressed about it but I can't change it. So I had a 26 day cycle after d&c. Totally different to my previous 35 day cycles but who knows what my silly body is up to now.

    Hi to everyone. I'll try to catch up on all your posts soon.

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
    3,562

    Mako - I totally understand how it feels to have your DH say 'no more'. I totally understand the 'ripped off' feeling. DH said the same thing did after L was born. And I absolutely know it's not the same because I already had 2 healthy children, but it still hurt. It became like a constant ache in my gut. I remember going out and more and more I would start to look at other mums with lots of kids or families together and I just didn't feel like our family was complete. Two didn't seem like 'my' family. I understand where he is coming from after everything you have both been through, but perhaps it's time to put your foot down and let him know exactly how you feel and that there is more than just him involved in this decision? If things hadn't worked out the way they did for us with our little 'Boo' coming along, I think we would of needed some sort of counselling to try and reach a place together that we were both happy with. I'm sure he's just scared and tired of it all and doesn't want to go through it all again and most importantly, he doesn't want to see you have your heart broken again. It's a tough situation. I'm here any time you need to talk.

    My weekend was fine. DD had a sleep over with my mum at my Nan's place (I'm getting good with this sleepover business huh?? LOL) and then I went down on Sunday and met them at the hospital and spent some time with my Nan. She was having a good day My mum is struggling with the idea of her not coming home and after seeing her on the weekend, I sort of get that now. She seems like she would be OK at home But that may just be because she's in the hospital and is getting the care she needs and her pain is managed etc. I don't know, it's hard. Her memory is not the best at the moment. One day she knows she is not coming home, the next she is asking when she'll be going home She forgot my mum's name the other day and got my boys names mixed up too

    Deb - I've noticed you haven't been around and am hoping everything is OK with you and the children
    Last edited by Willow; April 27th, 2010 at 10:09 AM.

  14. #14
    Registered User
    Add JCE0810 on Facebook

    Oct 2007
    North Lakes, QLD
    2,919

    Hi Ladies, sorry i havent been posting much. Sometimes i just dont know what to say.

    Michelle

    Willow

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    Sydney
    2,212

    %$@%& - got the print out from my last U/S today and now I know why I need the scan next week. Uterine artery resistance is at the end of the chart left side and way, way off the chart on the right side So now, on top of everything, we get to stress about growth and progress for a little bit longer. Can the Universe back off for a little while I can't take much more of this

  16. #16
    BellyBelly Member

    Aug 2006
    Melbourne
    843

    Oh Michelle... massive hugs. I'm not entirely sure what all that means but you certainly don't need any more stress or worry right now. I wish there was more I could say... it all just sucks right now.

    Willow - Hugs.

    Jayne - Will message you or give you a call when we get to Perth to organise a catch up!! Yay.

    Mako - Hugs for you too. I hope DH comes around, maybe just give him a little bit of time then sit down and have a good heart to heart about it. He's got to understand where you're coming from too. Good luck hun.

    Janie - Was soooo great to see you today, D is just so adorable and N was such a good boy!! Hope he has a fantastic birthday tomorrow!!

    AFM - All going well. Had to get maternity pants already as this tummy is getting a little out of control.. which is really quite nice! I still can't believe it's all happening. Anyway we're off to Perth tomorrow for three weeks, so might not be around too much... but will be thinking of you all.

    Take care.

    Kel xxx

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    4,840

    $%@*# is right Michelle Do you have someone to go with you to your scan? I would love to accompany you if you want someone along for the ride!

  18. #18
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
    3,562

    Michelle - I'm so sorry you've got this added worry. What would be the plan if things aren't as great as they should be? Closer monitoring of growth and flows etc?

    Are you with your family?

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