Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss ~ February/March 2010

Great to hear from you again Janie, and you sound in such good spirits too! Can't wait to see pics of your gorgeous little man, but like Willow said, he must be so small! I am sending all my best thoughts for him to be out of the SCN asap and snuggled up with his gorgeous mummy :)

Lee - I just wanted to reply to your post. You have been through so much hun, I am not surprised that the grief rears its head sometimes. Like Laney said, you have been through the two worst things that can happen to a woman and I think you are amazingly strong to have gotten through it. Reading your post about when the police car appeared at your house made me cry I felt for you so much, I can only imagine that pain. I hope it helps 'talking' to us in here hun and I hope you are feeling better soon :hug:

Spring - sorry to hear about DS' balls issue, that is the last thing you need!

Deb - gees, what a scare, you poor thing! I hope the gash heals up soon, sounds nasty.

kelly - big :hug: hun. You sound a lot like me after my second loss, I just couldn't get my 'old' self back. Maybe like Willow said, some counselling would be a good idea. I didn't want to but ended up seeing a counsellor and it really helped. I ended up seeing her until 20 weeks into DD's pregnancy as I was so paranoid about something going wrong and it was really helpful.

Thank you so much for your reassuring posts re DS, I just can't help but worry sometimes and I am sure DD was doing these things a lot earlier. I often feel like a bad mum because I can't spend as much time with him as I did with DD when she was little and I feel that maybe that is why he isn't doing certain things yet. He seems like a happy little guy though and he is soooo easy compared to his big sis so hopefully he will get there with his milestones.

DD really is doing my head in atm. Her sleep has become atrocious and I have no idea what to do anymore. We always get up to her once or twice a night but lately it is more like 5 or 6 times a night and now she is just making up reasons for getting us up (last night it was to move her teddy bear that she insisted on having in the cot with her because in was in her way!). DH and I have had it. The only thing left to do is just leave her to cry herself to sleep. We ended up doing that last night because I just had no energy left, and this morning she was no worse for wear. I hate it though because what if she really needs me? What if something really is wrong? I hate this, I feel so bad and so tired all the time and I am all out of ideas.

Janie - So glad to hear from you. I'm with Willow..you nutta (in the nicest possible way). I bet your bubba is just so cute.

Kelly - Hugs hun, it is hard when your little ones are so honest isn't it?

For Bun - I tried to quote but it didn't work

I often feel like a bad mum because I can't spend as much time with him as I did with DD when she was little and I feel that maybe that is why he isn't doing certain things yet. He seems like a happy little guy though and he is soooo easy compared to his big sis so hopefully he will get there with his milestones. Yep we've all been there. But guess what he has the benefit of a big sister who is also spending time with him. I also used to feel guilty because DD1 wasn't get enough attention too, but then I realised that she was learning important skills like entertaining herself and learning to share.

The only thing left to do is just leave her to cry herself to sleep. We ended up doing that last night because I just had no energy left, and this morning she was no worse for wear. I hate it though because what if she really needs me? What if something really is wrong? I hate this, I feel so bad and so tired all the time and I am all out of ideas We had to do this with Loren and it worked!!! Her sleep improved big time once we started ignoring her every single time.

Bun you are doing an amazing job

Bun: O went through a similar stage when he wanted his blanket on then off, then a drink if water then a cuddle. I just got fed up so told him once he was tucked in that I would be back in to check on him later and that if he whinged I'd get cross. He fussed a little bit but it stopped ths shamozzel (sp) at bedtime. Sometimes I also give him a torch to take to bed. He loves pointing it at the ceiling and it distracts him and before you know it he is asleep.

Janie: love reading your posts. Did you know you were having a boy? I though you found out.

Kelly: hugs :comfort:

Well I'm so happy to report B's balls are ok. A bit of fluid that will resolve with time. Phew!!! BBL for more personals.

K xx

Sorry just another quick one from me again today to let Michelle know that I'm thinking of her and Omar at their scan today :hug:

Janie WOOHOO again :)

I'm sorry for no more personals..just very tired and busy here. Will try and pop back on tonight and catch up on all the posts.

Congratulations Janie :)

All the best Michelle and Omar

Was hoping for some news on Michelle's scan today. Thinking of you!

Bun - I feel your pain hun.. DS is starting to play up at bed time too.. I can't get him down for a day sleep at all now and at night he's started fussing HEAPS. We've had to let him cry himself to sleep a couple of times and it's just awful but they do get the message!! Hang in there and use us to vent as much as you like. DS is being a right little monster atm too.. so many tantrums and I feel like all I do all day long is yell at him. Doesn't help that I'm not feeling like myself anyway. I feel terrible.

Spring - OMG.. DS is doing exactly what you described atm.. he goes to bed well but then wants a story, which we've always done and that's fine, then he wants a song, ok, that's fine too, we like to sing songs, then he wants more milk or water, then he wants the blanket, then he wants another story, then another song, then more teddies, then another story, and it goes on and on and on. Sooooo frustrating. We've had to start letting him cry and scream out too. I just try and go back in there without talking to him and tuck him back in with a bit of a 'shhhh'. I just try to ignore all the 'requests'. Hopefully he'll get the message soon enough.

Kel xx

Just stalking for Michelle...BBL.

Stalking also .... Hope all is well M

Massive congratulations on the teeny tiny arrival of Daniel. I'm so thrilled he is safe & sound & he is doing so well! Can't wait to hear more updates & of course pictures when appropriate.

My girl's 3rd birthday today, so exciting & so happy for her. Have had a very busy day & have LOTS of new things to unpack & learn how to use!

Love Jayne xx

Jayne, how is it possible that 3 years have passed since the day C was born??? I remember it so well, twas so exciting :) And i remember seeing your photos and thinking how amazing you looked, especially for someone who had just given birth! Happy Birthday to your beautiful princess, and happy birthday day to you, you gorgeous woman :D

AFU, doing really well. D is amazing, he is such a beautiful little doll, and somebody slipped him all the right SCN books lol. Just been to see him, and as expected he is starting to look yellow, so i'm sure he'll be having some treatment for that today. But that's totally expected and normal. He is down to 1400g, but is still tolerating his feeds really well. Everytime i look at that ebm going down his tube i feel so emotional. I don't think even i have fully wrapped my head around what an amazing gift it is. How do you ever repay someone who has given your child something so wonderful?? D is also getting my colostrum, and i'm hoping my milk comes in soon. He is seriously doing so well, that all we really need to do is fatten him up lol. Will be a bit of a road though, and we're prepared for that!

Sorry for all the posts ladies, feel free to tidy them up mods ;). Michelle, you have been in my thoughts, i am praying your scan went well. I'm so sorry i didn't send you another good luck msg, but please know that i'm thinking of you my friend :hug:

Janie, I am so glad that your little guy is doing well. How are you recovering after the c-section?

Michelle, I have been thinking of you. how did your scan go?

Janie - so glad to hear all is going well... can't wait to come for a visit, will call you soon.

Michelle - Was hoping for some news on your scan.. you're making me worry.

AFM - have started using OPK's for the first time so will see how that goes. I'm fairly sure that O day will be when DH is away next week so still very frustrated about that but hoping that somehow it happens the day before he goes!! Other than that, nothing new. Just getting the house back in order after our visitors and in preparation for my Mum coming over on Monday.. I can't wait.

Kel xx

Hi guys!! Sorry for the delay. Scan was good. A few bits will be checked at the next scan due to position issues but all is ok. Left for the IL's for the weekend so I didn't get to post.

Having serious parenting doubts ATM and overwhelmed by it all. Just missing some additional support and I feel like if I complain too much the discussion for family size will cease :( Think I need to read a book on raising boys for some tactics - and Pinky's toddler book came with me too ;)

Janie - so pleased things are going well.

BBL :grouphug:

Michelle, i have no doubt that you are doing a brilliant job :hug: But doing some reading may help you to feel better, i know it helps me at times. Look after yourself, and have faith - you are a brilliant mummy :D

Janie - you amaze me woman, still finding time to post and support others! So glad D is doing well and yes its amazing that he is able to have EBM, the little boy needs the best start no matter where it comes from. I took Fenugreek to help my milk come in and keep my supply up with DD - just a thought. How are you doing after c/s?? Sending you lots of :hug: and fatty baby vibes to D.

Michelle - glad the scan went well, and im sure its normal to question parenting abilities when you are expecting another bub and DS is probably at that very tricky age, but some good books, deep breaths and fresh air will do you wonders :hug:

Big hello to everyone else, my PC is sooo slow this morning its driving me mad - im off to pick up new baby seat and some bits and bobs and will BBL to catch up with everyone else.

Lis xx