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Thread: 3 Children - All Close???

  1. #1

    Default 3 Children - All Close???

    Me and DH are currently deciding whether we want another baby. We have both always said we wanted 2 as it is the norm in both our families but now that DD is nearly 5 and DS has just turned one, I have realised that I am really loving the idea of a third. We wouldn't have 4.

    My MIL doesn't know we are are thinking of 3 but often gets into conversations with me about others she knows who have 3 and I know from this, that she doesn't approve of 3. She says that one always gets left out when they are playing and when they grow up they usually all aren't that close. This worries me more than the logistics of having 3 or the money etc.



    Anyone BTDT with 3 or been one of 3??

  2. #2

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    I'm the youngest of 3 in my family. I like it cos at the moment, I don't get along with my sister, and I still have a sibling to turn to - plus I love his wife like she is my sister.

    I'm planning on having 3 - but with smaller age gaps. My sister is 4.5 years older than me, my brother is 7 years older than me. So I was left out of a lot of things - not because there were 3 - but because I was so much younger. So I don't want that for my kids - I want them to all be close - and play together, grow up together, be interested in the same things (ish) at the time.

    Not sure if that helps you at all really!

  3. #3
    feeb's Avatar
    feeb is offline Thankful for the kindness of my 2012 RAK making me Life member

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    I am eldest of 3 and it was fine growing up. There is 19 months between myself and 1 brother and then 8 years between him and next brother (so 10 years between youngest and oldest).

    My best friend has 3 kids and loves it (well most days) she has a 3 year old, 2 year old and a 7 month old. Oldest 2 play well together (well as good as toddlers do and always interetsed in ther brother.)

    Good luck

  4. #4

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    I dont think how many kids you have has any impact on their lives, its how you as a parent deal with it.

    Im one of 3, my Dh is one of 2.

    He never liked the idea of 3 - it was 2 max. I always thought Id have 4 or more. We settled on 3 after I just couldnt bare the thought of not having another baby after Ds2 was born. I can remember growing up my sister (the middle of 3) getting told she was a 'poor middle child'. Put me off the idea of 3 a little because she's definately got a woe-is-me complex about it. But then I realised its not the # of kids, its people's attitudes.

    So Ive made it quite clear that if ANYONE even starts to utter anything about poor middle children or middle child syndrome I will slap them and they will be banned from being near my children. my ds2 is not a poor middle child, he is a very lucky little boy to have a BIG and LITTLE brother. Some kids dont get any siblings I see having 3 as a good thing, sure we'll be outnumbered atleast 2 kids to 1 adult but makes for more fun I reckon. I will make sure the kids understand the importance of their siblings. As for money - I dont think youll find its anymore costly than two. Cars are made for 3 in the backseat, handmedowns work thrice over, most family tickets etc are now 2 adults + up to 3 children.
    Last edited by Freya; February 6th, 2009 at 02:47 PM.

  5. #5

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    DH is one of 3 and i asked him what he thought.

    He said that they grew up playing closer then most kids where there was only 2 siblings, they are all still fairly close now as well. He is the eldest, his sister and bother are a bit closer these days but thats mainly because they live within 30 mins of each other, where as DH lives over 15 hours and a whole state away.

    Our kids are all close in age (11 months between #1 and #2, then 15 months between #2 and #3). I know my first two are close friendship wise, play great and share a real bond. Im sure their brother will fit in nicely with them as he grows up as well

  6. #6
    queenbee Guest

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    My brother and SIL have 3 girls. They are 11, 9 and 6. The 11yo old doesn't get on well with the 6yo. 6yo I think tries to be all grown up like the 9yo and 11yo so is quite mischievous at times (hehehe!).

    The 6yo is very close with the 9yo. Very close. The 11yo is close with the 9yo though. They are all so different!

    They are gorgeous girls and there are times when they all get on great.

    HTH, good luck with everything and making a decision

  7. #7

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    I'm one of three and we're all close now that we're grown up. I'd love to have three myself, but DH is pretty set on two. I think it's all about attitude and personality, not the number of children, when it comes to playing together and getting along.

  8. #8

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    i have three - dd13, ds10 and ds2. and I love it. I can't remember what it was like not to have aston in my life. at the end of the day its what matters to you and your dh - not what anyone else thinks.

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