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Thread: I completely lost it.

  1. #1

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    Unhappy I completely lost it.

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    Last edited by Olive; September 6th, 2011 at 01:44 PM.

  2. #2
    MissEm Guest

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    You need to seek professional help, its the only way you will learn techniques to help control your emotions.

    You also need to apologise to your daughter.

  3. #3
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    Hugs hun, we all have days that kids push our buttons so much that we snap. Some will scream and shout, some hit and some distance themselves from the issue.

    You could seek professional help in anger managment and also look at strattegies to deal with naughty behaviour..

    Hugs hugs.

    When she wakes up give her a kiss and cuddle and tell her mummy is sorry and explain what she did was wrong and why.

  4. #4

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    Aaaaarghhhh! Oh, Nerdy Pants

    I truly understand. Reading that, I felt really mad too. I know you've been having such a hard time with her lately. That must have been awful for you.

    I really think she's reaching out to you with this behaviour. She needs your help to do the right thing. Is this something you can remind yourself when it happens? Think like a mantra of "She's doing this because she needs my help"

    There's a great theory called the Circle of Security that explains this well. I'm not sure if there's a great website about it, but I'll have a look and get back to you. With more of these

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    Big hugs to you. Add sleep deprivation +++ to anything here and it is hard to be calm and collected all the time. xxx

  6. #6

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    i lose it too hun, i think its part of being a parent.
    But you've recognised that you have a problem and most importantly you feel bad, so when she wakes sit her down and tell her why you got angry and apologise to her.
    its ok hun

  7. #7

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    I agree that you need some help and good on you for being honest and open trying to find it here for a start.

    Get yourself to Parent Effectiveness Training asap (or read the book if not possible) and in addition you'll probably need some self development with anger issues, which is a process over time. You can learn some techniques for calming yourself down when this happens, or the effect on your children will be far more reaching than what any book could mean to you. I used to flip out sometimes too, but it was during a time in my life I felt incredibly unsupported, I was sick and depressed. Realising if any of these apply to you and seeking outside help is a good thing too.
    Last edited by BellyBelly; September 6th, 2011 at 03:30 PM.
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  8. #8
    MissEm Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by feeb View Post
    When she wakes up give her a kiss and cuddle and tell her mummy is sorry and explain what she did was wrong and why.
    I'm sorry but no, don't do this. Say sorry to her and tell her that what MUMMY did was wrong and why. Then maybe talk about why we don't break things, and that we respect things.

    Do not blame your daughter for your actions. You are the adult and you are the one that should be capable of controlling you actions. It is not your daughters fault that you acted the way you do.

  9. #9

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    Oh babe, I lost it today, screamed in DD1s face... Why?
    She deliberately picked up a cup
    Of water and tipped it all over the bench it was 1 of a million things she's been doing to push my buttons.
    I felt horrible, your not a bad mum.



    ---
    - Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!

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  11. #11

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    You've been having a really tough time with her lately.
    I'm sorry I don't have any helpful advice right now, I'm trying to get a baby to sleep.
    But just wanted to give you a and let you know that the people who know you know you're really a great mum and understand that you really must have been at the end of your rope in that moment.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissEm View Post
    I'm sorry but no, don't do this. Say sorry to her and tell her that what MUMMY did was wrong and why. Then maybe talk about why we don't break things, and that we respect things.

    Do not blame your daughter for your actions. You are the adult and you are the one that should be capable of controlling you actions. It is not your daughters fault that you acted the way you do.
    OP feels bad enough she does not need to be made to feel worse and judged.

    She asked for help.

  13. #13

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    Your not a bad Mum. We have ALL been pushed to breaking point at some stage. Please be gentle on yourself, Give DD a cuddle when she is up and explain the whole thing - That ripping the book was naughty and Mummy lost her temper - she is a bright cookie she will understand. xox

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissEm View Post
    I'm sorry but no, don't do this. Say sorry to her and tell her that what MUMMY did was wrong and why. Then maybe talk about why we don't break things, and that we respect things.

    Do not blame your daughter for your actions. You are the adult and you are the one that should be capable of controlling you actions. It is not your daughters fault that you acted the way you do.
    Wow way to make someone feel bad! I guess you have never lost your temper then !?! Either that or you dont have kids...

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    Hugs Mel We all have moments when our lo's have managed to push all our buttons, and it's about all we can take. Don't be so hard on yourself

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  17. #17

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    the good thing is that you know it wasn't right & you're not happy that you did it. i agree with audax that maybe she's reaching out to you - not in the way you might hope, but she's trying to capture your attention.

    techniques to help you work through anger & calm down would be good (i think i need them too!), and maybe some time out for you as well - you're with the kids all day, every day & i never see you getting time for yourself/a rest. i think you need some time to spend on being you, rather than being mum (i know that's easier said than done but i truly believe you are sooo worth it)


  18. #18

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    ((GBH)) sweetie we have all been there done that...

    as for Miss Em I'm sorry but you posts really peeved me..

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