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Thread: Just need a break (vent)

  1. #1

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    Default Just need a break (vent)

    I just want a break & some time to myself!
    I've gone from the full time working Mama to the Stay Home Mama & I'm not coping.
    I'm breast feeding our 10 week old so I haven't been away from her for more than 2 hours since she was born. I carried her because my partner was told no more pregnancies because the risk to the baby from pre term labor was too great after 2 premmies already ( we are two mums in a same sex relationship ). I really struggled with being pregnant cause it was never what I wanted to do & I'm now really struggling with being the full time mum to DS 5, DS 3 & DD 10 weeks!
    I have no patience for the endless 5 year old questions, the 3 year old stubbornness & the newborn broken sleep. If I have to make one more messy craft thing, I may cry.
    I feel like the worst mum in the world when I snap at the boys cause I just want a break from them! My partner was definitely a much better stay at home mum but she's now working crazy hours to put food on the table plus she's missing out on time with the kids so it feels really selfish that I'm complaining about too much time with them!
    Just needed a vent cause I'm having a bad couple of days, I'm sure it will all look much better when I can send the boys to daycare on Wednesday!!!!
    Long term - looking forward to going back to work & sharing the daycare with the missus.


  2. #2

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    Default Re: Just need a break (vent)

    It is tough being home with 3 littlies.

    Enjoy your Wednesday. hope you do something that helps you reenergise.

  3. #3

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    Default Re: Just need a break (vent)

    . I hope Wednesday comes quickly for you.

  4. #4

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    Default Re: Just need a break (vent)

    Sounds very busy at your house! I don't have any advice, sometimes 2 make me want to cry. You certainly aren't the worst mum in the world!!! BFing every 2 hours for months on end takes its toll, that on its own is tough without the added questions and stubbornness to boot. I don't have any advice, but hope things look brighter on Wednesday

  5. #5

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    Default Re: Just need a break (vent)

    Huge hugs, I'm sitting here on the couch watching MKR with a coffee because I've offloaded the kids to the ILs while DH is off somewhere.

    I'm recharging. They are similar ages to your three (except my baby is a bit older!) and the 5yo and 3yo are doing my head in just like yours are! The 5yo wants to make things all the time and wants me to sit with her and craft. I keep telling her she needs to work things out herself! But she's so constant! Mummy, mama, mum mum mum! I want this, I want that, can you help me, I need help? Argh

    As for the 3yo, well, he almost didn't get to go to Grandma and Grandpa's because he was completely ignoring my requests to get dressed. And then had hysterics when he realised he was potentially going to miss out. Grrr!!!!!

    Thank goodness the baby was behaving this morning!

    So, to sum up, lol, I feel your pain

  6. #6

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    Default Re: Just need a break (vent)

    Could your partner relactate and you go back to work? If you both use to be happy with the old roles??

    Hugs for a bad few days

  7. #7

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    Default Re: Just need a break (vent)

    Can you go back to work and your partner stay at home?
    Don't feel bad for not coping.
    I am barely able to put up with my 1 five year old for a day on my own.
    Some women are born to be mothers, I am not one of them.
    Hugs.

  8. #8

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    Default Re: Just need a break (vent)

    That age gap is hard work mine are similar and took a while for us to settle into a routine I got very tired and rundown it's only the past 12 months I have found my groove having two at school this year has helped although I still haven't had much me time. Can you try expressing to see if your dd would take ebm so you can get a longer break for a bit longer even if it's just to nap or take a long bath?

  9. #9

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    Default Re: Just need a break (vent)

    i find time with just my baby is a break, a day with only two is also easier than all 3. Changing roles, and being full time carer to 3 kids (3 yr and 5 yr olds an be challenging) when that has not been your role, is a big change. Throw in a newborn and hormonal changes and recovering from being pregnant and birth and body changes, it s not surprising that it s all a bit tough atm.

    sometimes just getting out to meet up with a friend, in a place where the kids can run safely without the need for much help, can help recharge my batteries.

  10. #10

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    Default Re: Just need a break (vent)

    it's a massive leap from working FT to doing the SAHM thing. the repetitive, non stop loneliness that is raising kids in our society can kinda suck big time. When i was at my wits ends I would come on here and dump on my baby buddies lol.

    I have found the demands of looking after 3 little people really intense. there is something quite disconbobulating about the whole thing: i wonder if it is the array of ages and the different demands of each.

    Also, you are so in newborn cray cray that it is totally understandable that you want and totally need a bit of time out. do you have any peeps or family that can offer you a mental break? even if it is to just zone out on their couch while they do the craft and make you cups of tea?

    many hugs

  11. #11

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    Default Re: Just need a break (vent)

    Get out somewhere like an ABA meeting or playgroup, where your older kids will be entertained and someone else can hold your baby for a bit and bring you a cup of tea! It really helps.

  12. #12

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    Default Re: Just need a break (vent)

    Thanks everyone for the support, the last couple of days have been really tough & I've realised I may have post natal depression.
    The self harming thoughts just keep repeating themselves & there have definitely been times I have wanted to hurt the kids too.
    Sometimes a complete breakdown can help you see things more clearly :{
    Going to the GP on Wednesday, have got some phone numbers to ring tomorrow & have finally shared a lot of stuff with my beautiful partner & my besties.
    Hopefully it only gets better from here.

  13. #13

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    Default Re: Just need a break (vent)

    Good on you for getting help You got thrown in deeper than most - generally when you have your first baby hanging off you 24/7 and are adjusting to life outside of the workplace you don't have the older kids to deal with as well. Go easy on yourself, being terribly outnumbered by little kids is a hard haul.

  14. #14

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    Default Re: Just need a break (vent)

    Oh Sally2, big hugs! I'm so sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed. Well done for making the appointment to see the GP, opening up to your partner & talking to friends. I hope by sharing your concerns taking that first step you're able to feel more in control. Being a SAHM is hard, if it's not what you had wanted for yourself then it's bound to build resentment - add possible PND & it's no wonder you're feeling like everything is too much. You're not alone, a lot of mums are great parents once they have balance & are happy.
    Good luck with the GP, I hope you feel better within yourself soon.

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