So I have been going over this for a few days now and it is STILL bothering me a lot. I cant seem to move on from it and still think about it at night.
On sunday afternoon I took my two boys (DS1 aged 3.5 and DS2 aged 1.5) to the local park. It is a fairly big sand based playground and the kids wander around enjoying their free play time.
shortly after we arrived, they had as expected gone to different areas of the park but i was still within 15m of each of them. DS2 just walking around checking things out and DS1 playing in the "castle".
I turned around and saw DS1 slap a girl (probably about 5 years old) and i yelled out to him to stop and started walking towards him to deal with it. (not knowing what had instigated the slap - i wasnt sure if he was retaliating or not.. who knows at that age!) As i was walking over the girls mother grabbed my son and threw/pushed/shoved (how ever you want to word it) to the ground and held him down with one hand while getting angry at him about what he was doing. I ran over to them and yelled out to her to LET GO OF MY SON! and that i was coming over to handle it and no way should she ever touch my child! She then proceeded to yell "well if he is that naughty maybe somebody should be handling him like that". i just repeated dont ever touch my child and walked off. She was there with two other mums who all then continued to give me horrible looks.
DS1 was beside himself screaming and crying and i settled him down, grabbed DS2 and we left the park straight away. I was really rattled by it and rang hubby on the walk home and actually started crying i was so upset.
Know i DO NOT condone hitting and I would have made my son apologise to the girl and he would be punished accordingly, but becuase of what this mother did that didnt happen. I spoke to him later about it and he did get in trouble as he says he just didnt want her playing in his castle. So yes, it was him being naughty.
Am i being ridiculous with this, is this what other moms would do? I think if i was in the opposite position I would be more inclined to pick my DS1 up and move him from the child that was hitting. I would never touch another persons child.
I just need to hear other peoples opinions on this to try and i dont know.. i am not sure what i want.. i just need to process it all i think.
That sounds like assault! He is only 3.5 and to be push and held down by what I imagine was a angry/agressive full grown woman. That's completely unnecessary.
That is shocking! No, your not being ridiculous, and this isn't what most mothers would do.
If it were my son that had just been hit at the playground, I would tend to him to sooth him and remove him from the situation. I definitely wouldn't take it upon myself to restrain or punish someone else's child. That's appalling behaviour on her part!
Sending you a big cyber *hug* because I'd be pretty rattled by seeing someone man-handle my little boy too.
Thanks. Hubby was also very angry about it. But I wasn't sure if we were just too close to it. I'm still just shocked someone would do it. I'm also annoyed that it's made me a little bit "scared" I guess to go back to the park (which my boys love) incase of running into her. But I think I just have to stand my ground - I believe she was in the wrong and need to just stand up for my son if we come across them again.
I forgot to add that I think your reaction was spot on too. Your little boys saw you walk away from a yucky person and situation without getting angry back. That's tops. I would have struggled to not retaliate with an argument in that situation.
Hopefully you don't run into her again.
Only time I'd touch someone else's kid is if they were attacking my kid (and not stopping) and I couldn't get mine out the way - but even then it would be a pick and move, not physically holding them down. Not cool
My little girl has just started hitting and I'm really struggling to deal with it. She is 17 months and is so frustrated that she can't communicate. She is also struggling with adapting to her new little brother coming along. I nearly always stop her before she hits another child but thankfully I haven't been in your situation. I would have struggled not to lose it in your situation. I don't think you are overreacting at all. If someone did that to my child, I would burst into tears then and there. What she did shows her kids and others watching that violence is okay. NOT COOL
I find it appalling that the other mum physically threw/pushed/shoved your son down 😮 whilst I *might* appreciate her concern for her own childs safety/well being etc, manhandling another persons child is definitely not on.
As a previous poster mentioned, I would only intervene if my child was pinned down or unable get away and even then it would be a lift off and away.
She was way out of line! Most kids go through a phase of hitting and she should realise that being a mum herself. Don't avoid the park because of her. If you see her again I'd let her know that if she has an issue with your son to discuss it like an adult with you and not to manhandle a toddler.
DS was fine shortly after.. i think a bit confused about what happen but little ones are resilient! We went back to the park and had a nice time there yesterday afternoon. Hopefully i can just put it past me and not have to deal with it again.
I would only touch another child to prevent them from severely hurting my child. (My DDs arm was broken by another child, and I put myself between them so he was hitting/shoving me, not her)
When my kids have gone through this phase, I would hover if they were too close to other kids, incase they randomly hit someone. But I do tend to encourage my kids to stay away from others if I think this might happen
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