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My kids get no sympathy when they hurt themselves when I've told them to stop doing something. I do check the injury, and if it's a doozy maybe a quick cuddle saying 'you're alright', but otherwise they just get told "that's what happens".
If that puts me in the bad mother club.. so be it LOL.
I'm with LIz, I do the same thing. Even at a young age they can still follow a simple direction when you ask them not to do something and I think this will be a valuable lesson learnt and even though I don't advocate that children should be hurt to reinforce a life lesson, sometimes you just can't stop something from happening kwim? So if it does happen you have to make the most of it and hope that it will serve as a reminder when you next have to tell them that what they are doing could hurt them.
Hun, if I mollycoddled my boys every single time they hurt themselves (and usually after numerous warnings) I would never do anything else. They fall over all the time. I feel making a big deal out of something thats no more than a teeny weeny cut or lump is not helping the kid any. If they hurt themselves I always do a quick inventory (no excessive blood, no broken or missing limbs, no unconciousness) and if there is none of that they get a quick "your alright, thats what happens when you do what I told you not too" and generally seconds later they are acting like it never happened. If they are hurt "badly" they get cuddles and a bandaid (and maybe some panadol). They usually wont do it again either.
Im President of the Bad Mothers Club, I assure you, and my kids are still normal functioning human beings so dont stress yourself over it *hugs*
Hun everyone here has said everything I want to say plus some...YOU didn't throw it at his head! You're not a bad Mum...the other day there was no food in the house and I hadn't done the washing so there was no clean undies so DD went to school in her swimmers with 3 jam sandwhiches for lunch! But you know what??? **** happens...if it happens all the time then its a problem but if it's not...don't sweat the small stuff.
And Poopie - OMG at your Mum lol thats unbelievable!!!!
:clap: :clap: I love it!:
I've done similar :D ...hmm .... sent DS2 the other day walking to school with a vegemite sandwich for breakfast cause I slept in (he didn't sleep in! but if I'm not up nothing gets done :rolleyes:) & it's so true, there's a big difference between it happening all the time & once in a blue moon.
Poopie one of my dear friends did a similar thing. You'd walk a long way to find a more wonderful Mama - & this just proves we all have our days.
She went to pick up another child and left the baby in the car in the capsule. She pulled up, locked the car and went off. Luckily she was only gone about 20 minutes and it was winter. The baby was still sleeping soundly when she got back.
It can happen to us all - I have to say I am in Liz's Mama school too. It's a consequence that you hurt yourself - there there... All done.
Hugs sweets. I agree with Inanna and Liz whole heartedly
I just found this and bawled my eyes out :(
****It is quiet upsetting and I really stress that***
Baby p | PREVENT ABUSE AGAINST CHILDREN | Causes
My apologies if its not permitted...but I just wanted to highlight what I think is a bad mother and that even though we have our days, its nothing compared to this.
:hug: all round
Thank you Maz :clap:
ETA: This is what I have said on numerous posts. A bad mother wouldn't be coming in a forum and posting about how guilty she feels would she? A bad mother wouldn't care. The fact that we all come in here and have our vents about something we've done we're not proud of etc just goes to show that we are all growing and learning and wanting to be the best mothers to our children. jmho
bawling here too :(:
Speechless Maz
Maz I have seen that clip before, isn't it heart wrenching.
All boys your so not a bad mum, just human!!!
OMG Maz. You know what haunts me the most from that... the fingertips. I know the rest is just dreadful as well, but OMG.. that is just sick torture. Ugh.. not a good thing to watch just before bed...
That is true evil Maz - it makes me so sick to think that people like that are able to have and KEEP children, and beautiful women like the ones I've met here, who have SO MUCH love to give, aren't so lucky.
I know this is outside the Religion section, but the people responsible for that atrocity had to have been inhabited by evil - no person could stand by and cause or listen to that kind of trauma.
I'm sorry, I'm both sobbing and shaking with anger - if my response is too harsh let me know and I'll delete it, I don't mean to cause offence.
But Kirsty's right, a bad mother doesn't question herself, and doesn't care about her child - and certainly wouldn't come in here and advertise. You're human, All-Boys, just like the rest of us. As soon as you realised that your little boy was hurt, you did something about it. You're not psychic, you can't be expected to know every little thing - all you can do is react the right way when you have all the information, WHICH YOU DID :grouphug:
I felt exactly the same way :( I jsut cant picture someone being so horrid:
And that is exactly the point I want to make.:
Your are showing remorse for trying to teach your child that there would be a conseqence to his actions. Its not like he was playing with a knife now either was it.
The woman is the link I placed up had put her boyfriend before her child. She showed no remorse, no mothering, no love! That to me is a bad mother. She is a disgrace and should never be allowed to reproduce again!
Ooh, Maz. I've read about poor Baby P before...I cannot bear to look again :(
Poor poor baby went through more torture than most adults could handle. I still think of him & his hell life often & want to cry, & I think I read about it about 6 months ago.
I don't know how these people do those things. No human could do that. I could stand a child murderer before I could stand someone like that. To torture a child for that long & in that way...
Sorry...gotta go...read something happy to try to take my mind off this again.
Hope you feel better now hun xx You are a great mum & you know it :) Accidents happen every day!
No I don't think she's a bad mother, but I don't think doudou was saying that she was a child abuser either (Sorry for using you as an example...). I think EVERYONE has done something as a parent they aren't proud of, it shouldn't be a matter who is worse or better than the next (and we don't need pedestals for either side as the higher we climb the harder we fall!). However, I would expect my friends and loved ones to also tell me, albeit in a gentle way, if they thought I could have done something better as a parent and because I love and respect them I would listen. Where's the middle ground here? Why do we need to go one way or the other. We can be respectful in saying "yeah probably wasn't the best thing to do, I've been there and xxx has helped me to remember what not to do... However you aren't the worlds worst mother or you wouldn't be questioning yourself". Lets all put this into perspective. This isn't child abuse, but it isn't even the way Ali wished she'd responded (and I know I'd feel the same way if I was her!) so I'm not sure I'd want everyone telling me its ok to parent my children in a way I didn't want to... KWIM?
Am I making sense or is this just midnight drivel?
I think I get ya (says the one midnight driveller to another;) )
I wasnt even taking in Doudou's (sorry chicky to put it back to you ) response to be honest. She was entitled to what she thought totally as to we all are. I wanted to show and express my thoughts on someone who is a bad mother......its not just the actions involved its the feeling, remorse and mothering skills that some lack.
I apologise for placing the link up to anyone who was upset by it.
ok... it's starting to sound like we all need to follow a script here. What exactly would you like us to say? We can't agree that it was a terrible thing to do.. and we can't say it's ok, we've done something similar? :think::
I don't see anything wrong with not showing sympathy when they've blatantly continued doing something they've been asked not to, ok.. so I might not walk away, but I certainly show little sympathy apart from tending wounds and a bit of reassurance that they're ok. I think the only thing that really happened here was she didn't stop and check how hurt he was, and the way I read it, that is what she feels guilty about.. not about how she had chosen to let him deal with his consequence. I don't see it as remorseful for her parenting choice.. just sorry she missed that he really had hurt his head.
:yeahthat::
That clip ... speechless ... and the sad thing is there are cases similar to this everyday around the world =(
R.I.P Baby P.
Sorry for the hijack.
No Liz I wasn't saying you had to follow a script, what I was asking was why wasn't there middle ground? And in your situation you were saying it is something YOU do, so IMO that was fine, you were just talking about your experience. It just seemed really confronting to me to see "Pfft it doesn't matter, even if he hurt himself" and then extremely confronting abuse videos and then a good telling off? No middle ground. Not from my angle anyway.
Maybe I've misunderstood the situation? I dunno, I was just thinking outside the square here thats all.
Of course it matters if he hurt himself but the thread wasn't about how hurt he was it was about how Stacey felt like a bad Mum and she wanted support for feeling bad/guilty.
I thought BB was a place of support. If no one was anything supportive to say just don't say it at all. I doubt Stacey was looking for a damn debate.
Sorry Stacey, don't usually get on my soapbox here but this is just getting ridiculous! :)
xxx
oh lovely it doesn't make you a bad mother. I haven't read all the replies but I just wanted to say i've done way worse. Take yesterday for example, i got so mad at my 4 year old for not sleeping that i practically threw him into bed. Was I proud? Hell no. I felt really upset after but i was having a shocking day and my kid getting out of bed every 5 minutes for 3 hours got to me. I don't think I am a bad mother though because we all snap sometimes ;)
Maz that video is so so sad :(
Ahhh phoey, my eloquence obviously sucks today (and at midnight too by the looks of it) I didn't mean to insinuate that no one cared about him hurting himself, of course everyone cares who wouldn't. And my apologies Stacey for calling you Ali...
Maybe I misinterpreted the thread. Hey I'm not perfect and I don't always have the answers (just my observations). I just thought maybe Stacey was looking for assurance but also advice, and in no way did I think she should be accused of being a bad mother. And no I didn't want to start a debate either, I was just voicing my observations even if they were not the same as everyone here.
Where's my white flag...
*hands Cai a white flag* (and hopes she doesn't notice that it's got a little bit of crusty weet-bix on it)
*waving a white flag of her own* ;)
:lol: and my white flag too......geez...I musta been having a bad day ;)
With all the white laundry in here, should this be moved into the Domestic Goddess forum? :rofl: