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Thread: What have I done!?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    Default What have I done!?

    Im starting to wonder if we made the right decision having 3 kids so close together



    I honestly thought I could do it, we already have two less than 15mths apart so whats one more? This pregnancy has been so easy complication-wise, the best of the three so you would think it'd be a breeze. Nope - my hips are killing me, my back aches, the braxton hicks are horrible and I get little to no sleep between a waking toddler (who slept throught until 2 weeks ago ) and constantly needing to pee/move position to get comfy.
    Im so sick of yelling at my 2yo for being naughty all the time and having my 1yo hang off my leg like a leech. Im really concerned he isnt going to cope with a new sibling because he is such a mama's boy - and while I like that we are very close I dont want him to be so attached to me that no one else will do. Im worried Dh wont pull his weight after the baby is born when Im going to need some consideration and help to get into a comfortable routine. Im terrified I will give up on breastfeeding because I'll be so exhausted I wont be able to function. I feel like all I do is yell and be cranky and hate my life. I have no family support so Dh is it and I have times where I dearly wish I could just ring my inlaws and say 'Here the boys are yours for the night, enjoy!' They are coming when the baby is born for a few weeks but I dont want to rely on them and then be left floundering when they leave, and Dh cant use his parental leave because Im going to need to use it to go and help my sister when she has her baby (she is alone and Im her only support) in Sydney in July.

    Realistically I know in a years time I will look back and think it wasnt so bad but right now, Im very very scared. I thought I could do it, I think I do a pretty decent job being their mum, keeping the house tidy and all that jazz - but maybe I dont and just dont see it

    Thanks for letting me get this out.

  2. #2

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    Sep 2007
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    Anna vent away hun. You are going to be a great mum, it is just the aches and pains of third trimester wearing you down!

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    Hun we all have a few moments like that when we are expecting a new baby very soon. Does R have a doll that he can 'look after' when the new one arrives? Get a sling for the new bub hun, then you can have your hands free for the boys, and if you get a really good one you can learn to BF in it so that you can still help the older boys.

    I am always only a phone call away, and if you really need a break I am kid free on mondays and can help out.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Anna - I'm feeling like that with only my second bubs coming up so totally understand how you must be feeling with your third on the way so close together. You will cope and succeed! I often look up to you as the experienced Mummy in our BB group because I do think you're a Supermum. I often tell myself "Anna has done it so I can do it too". I also hear you on all the aches and pains .... do you have a lack of motivation too???

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    Heck yeah, zero motivation here. Thankgod his room/clothes were sorted weeks ago otherwise he'd be living in a washing basket in rags lol

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    I still have those moments.. I love my kids dearly but then i think heck what I have I done Then they go to bed and a new day begins...

    I hope you have an easy time when the new bub arrives..

  7. #7

    Default

    Hi Anna,

    I hope you are feeling better .

    I think you are doing a great job. Pregnancy is hard, especially the 3rd trimester, and when you add 2 boisterious boys so close in age, no wonder your tired and doubting yourself. Things will get better.

    Perhaps you could tell your DH that you're feeling a bit overwhelmed, and need a bit more of his help. I dont really know what else to suggest.

    I hope your bub goes easy on you in the first few weeks. You deserve it.

  8. #8
    Matryoshka Guest

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    I totally get your fear anna, i find 2 hard enough i could not contemplate 3. In fact i still think we made a mistake in choosing the 2 year age gap because everything that could have gone wrong did, and so far it hasn't been good for anyone... i guess we are yet to see the benefit.

    The only thing that gives me reassurance though is faith in a higher power, that this was meant to be, you fell pregnant again because your bub was meant to join your family. I'm sure it will be hard and chaotic, but somehow you will manage.

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Anna

    Here is your village! Anytime you need to drop the boys over or if you want to meet up for coffee and I can do all the chasing and you can chill out just let me know! I'm serious.

    How about having a doona day? I often find when we are having a yuck day and I'm tired and DS is playing up we have a doona day. You cancel everything, stay in your PJ's, vege out and watch TV - no housework nothing just chill with your kids, play lego whatever.

    I often find my kids have bad days when I'm already having one. A friend of mine told me that on days like this she has a "dream day" go and lock yourself in the loo or the shower and visualise everyting you would do on your dream day, from getting out of bed, choosing what to have for b'fast, what would you put on, where would you go, what would you do, all the way up to gong to bed that night.

    When your IL come up - relax, you have the REST of your life to get your routine settled! this is your time to get sleep, rejuvenate, get ready for the time ahead.

    Are you eating OK, vitamins etc?

    Just remember we are here OK!

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    honestly hon

    after awhile you wont care if the dishes are still in the sink...if there is a pile of cloth's 1m high in the corner or toys everywere. Life still goes on, we still manage to breath and smile.

    Jed use to carry on about things not getting done until I told him that i'd rather spend time playing, teaching and being a mum to our kids then a cleaner andhousemaid. I then toldhim if he didnt like it he could clean up and it worked.

    In saying that my house isnt a pig style...but ive learnt that spending time with the kids is something I will remember for years to come and the washing wont be.

    You'll cope hon..your a wonderful mum who puts her children first. Have faith in yourself babe

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