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Thread: Advice on handling DS's impasses

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Netherlands
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    605

    Default Advice on handling DS's impasses

    DS1 (5) often gets himself into an impasse and despite the fact that he's been doing this for a very long time I still don't have a good way of handling them. So I thought I'd come and ask for forum wisdom

    The impasses are always when he wants to do something but for some reason it clashes with a rule he's made for himself or another idea he's had. For instance this morning he was cold so wanted to put his jumper on but couldn't because it would take too long. He then discussed it with me for 10 minutes, read a book, and then cried for 15 minutes after I helped him to put his jumper on. Yesterday he was hungry but didn't want to eat his dinner (even though he liked it). The other day he wanted to play with his friend but couldn't because he "needed" to play on the computer that day. Sometimes he wants to do something but "just can't".

    Reasoning and discussing the situation with him doesn't help. He becomes quite irrational when you get to the kernel of the impasse. They often take an hour or so to resolve (sometimes much longer). Sometimes he will accept that he needs to change his mind one way or the other or compromise in some way, but often we seem to just kind of get through them somehow.

    So is this fairly normal kid behaviour? And do you have any suggestions on how to help him with it?

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Albs, WA
    Posts
    971

    Default Re: Advice on handling DS's impasses

    It sounds like he is having a tough time. I would definitely consult a professional for some ideas on how to help him process the 'rules'


  3. #3

    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Melbourne , Victoria
    Posts
    2,109

    Default Re: Advice on handling DS's impasses

    It does sound like he could be struggling with anxiety. Logic and anxiety don't mix well. I agree with Trish, a child psychologist or play therapist would be able to help.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Netherlands
    Posts
    605

    Default Re: Advice on handling DS's impasses

    Thanks trish and FL!
    I've started the process to see someone. I talked to the local child health advice group and will have an appointment with the local child doctor. We'll take it from there, see what she thinks and if she refers us to a child psychologist.
    It's tricky. There have been so many little things with DS where we've wondered if it was something we should follow up more or not. Up till now we've generally been reassured that it's within the bounds of normal and decided not to seek outside help. With this though I think we've reached the limit of what we can do for him and hopefully seeing someone will really help with this and even other issues as well.
    Hope all is going well with you

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