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I guess it could go that way depending on the person...maybe it comes down to 'will you be terribly worried if the mum doesn't take it well and doesn't talk to you again?' If it were me, I would probably say something for the childs sake. If you're only 5 minute acquaintences and really not that close then nothing gained nothing lost?? Then again maybe it would pay to talk to your friend that knows them better first to see what she thinks. It is a tough one!:
Yeddi: dammed if you do dammed if you don't?
Well you may be dammed but if you say something that little boy won't be. I would honestly say that it is for the little boys benefit you saying something. I know you will be able to say something in a completely compassionate and understanding way and hopefully it helps thr mum to realise what is going on.
This family almost *needs* you to say something... If I was the mother I would be soo grateful to the person who helped me figure out what is wrong with my child!!!
Good friends of ours have a DS 5 months younger than our DS1 and we could tell by about 2yrs old that he was on the spectrum - he just did stuff that no other kid ever did and in a way that had all the alarm bells ringing. Our friends just passed this off as him being 'busy' or 'full on' but it was more than that - we could all see it, but they couldn't and until they could, then we had to just wait otherwise they would have completely shut us out and gone into denial about it. Luckily the preschool teachers picked it up within weeks of him starting and they set the ball rolling for a dx and once that happened, his parents were accepting that there was a problem. We did tell them that it wasn't a surprise to us and they both asked why didn't you say anything, but we knew them better than that and said how we knew they wouldn't have listened so we waited. For them, they needed to hear it from someone in authority - not a friend. But this is just a ****ty situation that there is no easy way to do it. I think because you aren't directly friends with her then there isn't a friendship to loose so to speak, but it may also make it hard for her to listen to what you have to say without getting upset or offended.
This is a toughie but I think your heart is telling you that it's best to do/say something.
Given that it's autism month, I would use that as an opp to give out an info pack to all the mums and say that your child has autism, you'd like to raise awareness and understanding and here's some info.
So make it a, "please read this about my daughter" approach rather than please read this about your son.
If that doesn't work, I'd leave it for a little while and then try something more direct.