Do your children have to ask to get food?

Personally, I wouldn't let a 2.5 and 4 year old help themselves....I think that is a little too young. However, my older kids (10 and 15) will come home from school and make themselves a sandwich or grab a peice of fruit. If they want something like a packet of chips or biscuits they do tend to ask. I'm not sure how they learnt which things they do/don't have to ask for....it just happened, LOL.
We have a water cooler that they can help themselves to whenever they want, but they do have to ask if they want fizzy drink. (which we don't often have in the house anyway).

Our kids have to ask for food and drinks other than water.

We have chilled filtered water on tap they can help themselves to whenever they like.

I think its good manners, I always did it when I was child and I like to know what they are eating/how much etc. It isn't about restricting their food but making sure they are getting enough, the right things and not eating just before a meal.

I haven't read other responses but our rule has always been that our kids are allowed to help themselves to fruit & vegetables. DS2 often walks around munching on a carrot, straight from the fridge.

My kids don't have to ask to have a drink, they get their own. We have food they don't have to ask for like fruit, veg and sandwiches but they know if they want anything other than that they have to ask.

we're not at that stage yet lilas but we are planning on having DS ask for food ... at least at first so I can help him make the good choice ie fruit, dry biscuit etc but once he's a little older - say from about 5 onwards I'll probably adopt a freer approach like some of the mummies here - where he can help himself. Hopefully by then I've instilled in him an idea of what is an appropriate choice and when.

I like that 'nothing after 4pm' rule (sorry can't see who posted that now) so am stealing that one! lol.

I find also, with myself, sometimes when I'm hungry I'm in fact thirsty ie dehydrated. So I'll be making sure DS has a big drink of water, and then if he's still hungry 10 minutes later, we'll get something to eat. but we live in the NT so it's extra extra important for me to make sure he's hydrated iykwim.

i don't think there's anything nazi-ish about it... it's just another thing you have to teach your children so they grow up as well-rounded, healthy people.

My kids have to ask for food. If I let them help themselves, even to so-called good choices, every apple in the fruit bowl would have a bite taken out of it. Not even mentioning the mess...

I think it is a bit much to want a 4 year old to make "healthy" food choices. I do give my children choices: do you want an apple or a banana. would you like peanut butter or cheese on your sandwich,... that type of thing. Not: have a look in the fridge and see what tickles your fancy.

I offer food at certain times during the day. Outside of that, they have to ask. Even my 1 1/2 year old comes to me and says: "apple" or "want biccie"

By the way, I don't care what nutritionists say. But there is no evidence that children who graze are worse of nutritionally or will become obese. It depends very much on WHAT they are grazing on. I believe in eating when you are hungry. Not just when some arbitrary time for eating has come. Of course within reason. But if my child is hungry half an hour before dinner, I see no problem giving them a healthy snack, like a piece of apple or a handful of nuts, to tide them over to dinner.
Same goes for breakfast. I know many people believe in eating straight away when they have gotten up. I find neither of my kids will eat more than a mouthful straight away. They usually refuse even that. They do much better with a slice of apple first, then have breakfast about an hour later.

my children have to ask to get food, that's just how i am. i find it irritating when they just go and help themselves. but then, my kids are grazers, so i know if i give them free reign over food, they would be eating ALL day! but it depends on your child. another poster mentioned having food down at their level to help themselves, i think that's a good idea. i do think it's good manners though that they're taught to ask for things before they take them, especially at someone elses house, so it sounds like your little ones are very good-mannered! well done there :)

Thanks everyone, now I don't feel ilke such a mean mummy!!
I don't expect that my children should know what healthy food is or what they should be eating, which is why I try to monitor it. I just had the thought that if they were going to get food out of the fridge/cupboard, then perhaps I should give them a little more free reign of it all. But I am confident int he way I am doing it. As I said I just didn't want to be a nazi about it! We don't have actual junk in our house, like chips or chocolate or anything like that, but I do make treats like biscuits and muffins and we have rice crackers and sometimes muesli bars and things like that, that they shouldn't have all the time, which I store in the fridge/cupboards and DD can open the containers to get at them. I will be starting to make up a lunch box for the kids and leaving it at their height so they can eat what ever is in it rather than raiding the cupboards, plus they get a bit of a choice of what to have without it being anything and everything that's in the cupboards!
I have tried leaving fruit at the kids level, but they will either only eat a bite out of each piece then not eat any more, or they eat fruit all day, which isn't healthy for them! So I have put the fruit bowl up on the kitchen bench again. They always have water for them to drink and have the occaisional drink of diluted juice and a drink of milk every day. They are grazers and will eat aaallll day which I don't mind, as long as it is healthy. Plus I like them to try dinner, it's the only meal I want them to at least try. DS1 is a terrible eater at dinner and a fussy eater anyway and will often go to bed without having eaten anything at all, just having a drink. I won't feed them for about 1 1/2 hrs before dinner at least to try to encourage an appetite, but DS1 doen't seem to care! But I am happy in the knowledge that he's eaten well all day. If he hasn't then he can have an apple or carrot before bed. Not much, but healthy and something in his tum.
Thanks again for all of the advice and opinions!

I'm sure you have thought of this, but i just thought I'd suggest it anyway:
If your son is not interested in dinner, maybe try serving him the leftovers at lunch the next day and effectively turn lunch into dinner? Some kids just don't want to eat at a certain time of the day (like mine don't wanna eat first thing in the morning). Rather than resorting to all kinds of trickery to make them bend to your schedule, you can just work with it (which is pretty much what you are doing anyway).